‘Have you two been summoned an’ all?’ said MacStarkey.
Noddler nodded his head vigorously. ‘It’s true. It’s true. Now where’s that letter I got?’ He searched in his pockets - with great difficulty on account of his hands being on backwards.
‘Ach don’t you worry, wee Noddler. I’ve got ma letter right here,’ said MacStarkey. ‘Ah’ll read it oot loud and yous can all tell me if yours is the same.’ MacStarkey unrolled his scroll and read.
‘Dear Starkey,
He paused looking up for a moment. Whoever wrote it obviously didna’ ken Ah’d changed ma name,’ he explained, before reading the rest.
‘Meet me by the mouth of Deadman’s Cave at midnight on the first night of the new moon in December. There’s important, very important business to be done and you owe it to yourself, your fellow pirates, and me to be there. Tell no one of this meeting.
Your old crewmate
Skylights.’
‘That’s not the same as mine,’ said O’Mullins frowning.
‘Is it no’?’ asked MacStarkey in surprise. ‘How, whit does yours say?’
‘Mine starts off, Dear Mullins.’
The other pirates looked at each other and raised their eyebrows. Their shoulders shook as they stifled their laughter. Change of name or not, O’Mullins was the same naïve, gormless creature he’d always been.
‘Well, it seems to me, we must all be here for a common purpose,’ said Fitzsmee.
‘A common porpoise?’ said O’Mullins. ‘So it’s only some sort of fishing expedition. Nothing to be scared of then?’
‘Ah said purpose not porpoise,’ replied Fitzsmee.
‘Noddler and I think it’s some kind of joke. Don’t we Nodds?’ said Jukes.
Noddler nodded, ‘We do. We do.’
‘Well even if it is, there must be a purpose,’ replied Fitzsmee. ‘Who’d bring us all here? What for?’
‘Let’s look at it logically. We know it canna be Cap’n Hook wha sent fir us because he’s a long time dead. Right?’ said MacStarkey.
The pirates nodded in agreement and Fitzsmee whispered, ‘Aye that’s right.’
‘And a good thing too, a good thing too!’ added Noddler.
‘And it was signed Skylights but we know it canna really’ve been Skylights, cause he’s dead tae. Right?’ said MacStarkey.
‘Aye right, right,’ they all agreed.
‘Wrong,’ said a loud, gruff voice from behind them. The men sprang apart and turned to look at the mouth of the cave. A much alive Skylights swaggered out between them. He was as handsome as ever, with his swarthy complexion and his flashing black eyes.
‘Well, well, well, me old hearties, good to see you again after so long.’
‘Are ye, are ye, are ye a a a ghost, Skylights?’ stammered O’Mullins.
‘Do I look like a ghost?’ laughed Skylights, approaching O’ Mullins who was cowering behind MacStarkey. ‘Do I feel like a ghost? Ye half witted baboon, go on touch me and see.’
‘Sure enough,’ answered O’ Mullins, poking Skylights. ‘Ye feel solid to me.’
‘And you smell the same as you always did tae. O’ fish and chips wi’ loads o’ vinegar,’ said MacStarkey, laughing.
‘Well, ghosts don’t eat do they? So it must be Skylights,’ reasoned Noddler, nodding frantically and pleased at his deduction.
‘That’s what I am telling you. It’s me,’ said Skylights, holding out both arms.
‘Right then, Skylights, out with it. This is no social visit. Why have you brought us all here?’ asked Jukes with a glint in his eye. ‘Planning something exciting for us?’ The others all listened for the explanation.
‘Right me old crewmates,’ said Skylights. ‘I will explain what happened to me and why I’m back now. As you know me hearties, back in the days when the dreaded Captain Hook ruled us all with a rod of iron, or should I say a hook of iron, we were all young and impressionable. Whatever James Hook said, we did. Honest and loyal men we were!’ The pirates all nodded in agreement, with Noddler nodding twice as fast and twice as long as everyone else.
‘And then on a whim, for no other reason than to show off, he rips my throat out and throws me over the side like a piece of old rubbish. What kind of way was that to repay me for my loyal service? As far as he was concerned, I was dead. I was fish food, nothing more. You all must have thought the same as you saw my torn body sink in the middle of a crimson whirlpool, with air bubbles breaking the surface, and sharks on the horizon speeding towards me.’ He paused for dramatic effect before going on. ‘Some time later, I have no idea how long, I woke up. The mermaids had rescued me. For the next few weeks the ladies of the sea hid me and took care of me until my wounds were healed. Day by day I grew fitter and stronger. Although my body eventually recovered, my mind did not. Getting revenge on Hook consumed my every waking moment. I wanted to be the one to finish him for good. It was my desire. It was my duty. It was my right,’ he said, his voice getting higher and louder with each statement.
‘It certainly was your right,’ said Jukes.
‘Aye, that’s for sure. I would have felt the same,’ announced MacStarkey. ‘I’d hae been plotting my revenge day and night.’
‘Me too,’ said Fitzsmee. ‘I woulda waited until dark one night, caught him off guard, cut off his other hand and thrown him overboard.’
‘I would have tied him to the rock in the lagoon till the tide came over and drowned him,’ said Noddler. ‘Like he used to do to our victims. Our poor, poor victims.’
‘Guess what I would’ve done,’ said Jukes, waiting for everyone’s attention. ‘I would’ve lashed him with the cat o’ nine tails till he was bleeding and his blood brought the sharks circling.’
O’Mullins, not to be outdone by the others stuttered, ‘I would’ve…. I would’ve…. ohhh, I would’ve……’
‘Well? What would you have done?’ asked Skylights.
‘I would have laughed to see all these things happen to Hook, that old codfish,’ he said, giggling. All the pirates laughed out loud and for once they were laughing with O’Mullins and not at him.
‘As you can see, ‘twas not the end of me,’ said Skylights. ‘And I now need your help.’ He looked at each of his fellow pirates in turn. ‘To kill that villain, Cap’n Hook. You all hated him as much as I did and now at last we can get our revenge.’
‘I think you might be forgetting one tiny wee detail, Skylights,’ said MacStarkey. ‘Hook’s already dead, mate. He died a long time ago. You know that. The crocodile got him, remember? Good old croc’. After all these years the old ticking crocodile got him in the end. So I am afraid we won’t be getting our revenge after all.’
‘Ah, but me hearties, what if Hook were to live again, eh?’
‘Live again? Live again?’ asked Noddler. ‘Have you lost your senses Skylights? We know that in Never Land we don’t grow old, but once you’re dead you’re dead, matey!’
‘Too true,’ said Jukes. ‘I have never known anyone come back to life after death. Dead’s dead. Finished. Finito!’
‘Not necessarily so,’ said Skylights, touching the side of his nose with a knowing gesture. ‘I was eating some fish and chips the other night, wrapped inside this newspaper.’ The pirates looked at each other as if he was crazy. He took the vinegar smelling page from under his belt and unfolded it. ‘Here, read this for yourselves. It’s an article from The Evening News about the latest developments in cloning and reconstruction techniques.’ The article was headed,
Scottish Cloning Professor’s Amazing Breakthrough
‘I’ve been following this professor’s progress for the last 15 years, so his work came as no surprise to me,’ continued Skylights. ‘However, it wasn’t until I heard on the news about the hunt for the crocodile that I began to see a way to make my dream come true.’
The other pirates kept glancing at each other with puzzled frowns during this speech.
‘And how do we fit into this?’ asked MacStarkey.
‘You’re a dumb lot, aren’t you? Do you never read anything more than the Beano? Or watch anything on TV more educational than The Simpsons?’ barked Skylights. ‘The professor is not a clowning professor, but a cloning professor. OK, gather round and pin back your lugs, you motley crew. Here is the plan in four easy parts! Part one – there’s a gigantic, ticking, man-eating crocodile terrorising people in the ‘other’ world. It has been caught and is, as we speak, being taken to be studied by scientists in Scotland. Part two -we all know that Hook was swallowed by a ticking crocodile and I’m certain this is the same animal. With any luck we’ll be able to retrieve some of James Hook’s DNA from the animal’s stomach. Part three- our clever professor will reconstruct Hook exactly as he once was. Tattoos and all! And part four, the best bit… we will kill him!’ He paused, savouring the shocked looks on their faces. ‘And that my old maties, is our mission, a most dangerous mission at that!’
‘What’s DNA?’ said O’Mullins. None of the rest knew either but were too embarrassed to admit it.
‘It’s a bit hard to explain, but it just means if we can get a small part of Captain Hook, the professor can grow him all over again,’ said Skylights.
MacStarkey said, ‘But we are all here in Never Land. The professor and the crocodile are over in the other world.’
‘Exactly,’ said Skylights. ‘We’ve got to get ourselves over to the other world. Let’s raid the fairies nests and get ourselves some fairy dust. Time to go and get dusted, boys.’
Ignoring the protests and the screaming of the fairies, the pirates turned them out of their nests and emptied every last drop of fairy dust into an old powder keg. The heist was fast and unexpected; the fairies had no time to use magic to save the dust. The gang made its way back to Deadman’s Bay to get ready for takeoff and Skylights gave them all a briefing on where they were heading, and landmarks to look out for. Since the day they’d come to Never Land many, many years before, none of them had ever attempted to go to the other world. They were more than a little nervous. Skylights was first to sprinkle himself with the magic dust and immediately felt a weightlessness. ‘Come on fellows,’ he said. ‘I think it is working for me.’
The remaining pirates copied Skylights, sprinkling just a little of the precious commodity over their heads. They had never used fairy dust before and had yet to master the techniques. With practice, they would soon learn to hover just above the ground, to move horizontally and vertically and to vary their speed. As beginners though, just staying close to the ground was proving difficult and one by one the pirates began to float upwards. Skylights and MacStarkey grabbed hold of a branch of a nearby tree to stop themselves going too far ahead of the others. O’Mullins and Fitzsmee tried to do the same but missed and went soaring onwards. Skylights just had time to call down to Jukes and Noddler to hurry up and get dusted or they would be left behind, before he and MacStarkey followed the leading two into the sky.
‘What shall we do with the dust that’s left in the keg?’ yelled Jukes as he finished sprinkling Noddler and himself. He had to help Noddler as sprinkling with backward hands was not easy.
‘Bring it with you. We’ll need it to get back again,’ shouted MacStarkey from a great distance. ‘See you at Edinburgh Castle.’
‘Right then, wee Noddler! Are ye ready? We’re off!’ said Jukes grabbing Noddler with one hand and the keg of the remaining fairy dust with the other.
‘Aw, this is pure dead brilliant,’ he said looking down on the disappearing landscape of Never Land. ‘I never thought I’d do anything like this. Look Noddler, there’s the Indian camp. They look like red ants from here.’
Noddler nodded, too tense to speak.
‘My nose is itchy. I think I am going to sneeze,’ exclaimed Jukes. ‘I must have got some dust up my nostrils. Geez, I hope I am not allergic to this poxy stuff. Here Noddler, hold the keg for a minute till I scratch my nose.’ He tossed the keg of dust to Noddler who tried to catch it, but fumbled with it due to his backwards hands. He lost his grip and could only watch as it tumbled end over end towards the ocean. ‘Watch out,’ screamed Jukes. ‘It’s falling. Get it. Quick!’
Changing direction, they flew downwards to try to catch the keg but gravity won the day. They groaned as the keg split on impact and sank into the depths of the ocean. Seconds later they also hit the sea with a mighty splash. Both disappeared under the waves only to bob to the surface with streams of water pouring from their faces.
‘Help, help,’ yelled Noddler, thrashing and spluttering. ‘I can’t swim.’
‘You don’t need to swim. Remember, you can still fly. Push upwards,’ answered Jukes. Dripping wet, he rose above the ocean once more. An out of breath Noddler followed him, trying to wipe the salt water from his eyes with his useless hands.
‘What now? What now?’ asked Noddler. ‘The others are too far ahead.’
‘Forget about them. We can’t follow them without the dust for the return journey anyway. We’d all be stuck in Scotland for ever and ever. Perish the thought!’ replied Jukes. ‘We have to go back and find more fairy dust. Turn round Noddler and head for Never Land.’
No sooner were they airborne than they noticed a large area of disturbance on the surface of the sea below. The water shimmered and rippled and bubbled as if boiling. As they watched, first one, then another, and soon a whole pod of dolphins broke the surface, and rose into the sky. They cruised along like a squadron of jet planes at an air show. Twisting, turning and changing formation, they were an awesome sight. Before long they were joined by a shoal of herring, two lobsters and an octopus waving its tentacles uselessly in the air. The shoal of herring wheeled and spiralled in a circular motion making intricate patterns in the sky. They corkscrewed first one way then the other, till it seemed they would all collide. Then as one they swung upwards like a tornado.
‘Would you look at that,’ said Noddler quite dizzy at the spectacle. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it in me life. What is going on?’
‘Fairy dust, Noddler. Fairy dust is what’s going on,’ said Jukes, looking straight into the eye of a dolphin.
CHAPTER 4
Trouble on the Horizon
Amy gripped Shelley’s arm as the pair watched a tiny green light in the distance draw closer and closer to the window. ‘Can you believe it?’ Amy whispered. ‘He’s really coming.’ Before Shelley could answer, he was there, on the window sill, smiling at them.
‘Peter Pan!’ both girls gasped.
‘That’s me. Peter Pan. At your service, girls.’ He gave an exaggerated theatrical bow. ‘Are you ready for the journey to Never Land?’
‘What? Journey to Never Land? Oh no. No way, Peter,’ said Amy.
‘We can’t do that. Never ever! That’s a crazy idea. My mum would never say yes to me going on a trip to Never Land,’ added Shelley.
‘But I have come all this way to get you. You have to say yes. You must come back with me,’ pleaded Peter. ‘There is no question about it.’ The boy, dressed as always from head to toe in green, stood with his feet apart and his hands on his waist in a self assured pose that indicated he was used to getting what he wanted. He was cute, in an old fashioned kind of way, with an endearing smile.
‘Thanks for the invitation, and thanks for coming to visit,’ replied Amy. ‘But going with you to Never Land is something else.’ She glanced at Shelley, hoping for support.
‘I know my Mum would never agree in a million years,’ said Shelley. ‘She hardly even lets me have a sleepover with friends. It took me ages to talk her into letting me stay at Amy’s tonight and that’s just next door.’
Peter stamped his foot in frustration. ‘Why do you need to ask her? Your parents won’t even know you have gone. We can be in Never Land in no time at all and I promise to have you back home by morning. Just think what you could write on Facebook tomorrow.’ Peter went on persuasively. ‘Imagine what you will see in Never Land.
Fairies. Mermaids. Unicorns. Dolphins that talk. Flowers that fly. Birds and insects like you have never seen before.’
Amy screwed up her face. ‘But won’t we be in danger from the pirates? I remember you had loads of trouble from them in the story I read. What if they capture us?’
‘Nonsense!’ answered Peter. ‘We hardly ever see any pirates these days. After the final battle, when Hook died, they nearly all gave up pirating and found proper jobs. On the odd occasion we see a pirate they are no longer a threat. They nod and say hello. And they don’t even carry weapons now.’ Peter had his fingers crossed behind his back at this little white lie.
‘I’m not sure,’ said Shelley, her voice quivering with a mixture of fear and excitement. ‘I suppose it would be an adventure, but what if….’
‘Besides,’ said Peter, interrupting and pointing his index finger in the air as he thought of another persuasive reason. ‘You have to come because my house is in desperate need of a spring clean. It hasn’t been done since Wendy’s grandchild came about 60 years ago. I am so in need of a mother…or even two… to help me. Please say you’ll both come and clean for me.’
‘Na…ah Peter,’ said Shelley. ‘Times have changed in the last 60 years. Just because we are girls doesn’t mean you can expect us to clean your house for you. We’ll definitely not be doing that.’
‘OK, you win. If you come you won’t have to clean. You will be my guests, I promise. I just want to show you off to my friends in the Never Land,’ replied Peter, grinning, as if he knew he had already won. ‘Pleeeeease say you’ll come?’
‘Well,’ said Amy, ‘if we do come with you….and I only said IF….how will we get there? How does this flying business work?’
‘It’s easy. We just need fairy dust,’ said Peter, as he untied a small green velvet pouch from his belt and pulled open the drawstring. He held the bag open for Amy and Shelley to inspect. Inside was what looked like multi coloured glitter, constantly moving as if it were alive.
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