Covered with sweat and holding on by a thread, I lifted Mia’s leg slightly to get a better angle, speeding up as her nails dug into my back. The crude sound of our damp flesh slapping together was loud, as were our moans and grunts. This wasn’t the gentle coupling I’d planned but it was far better and satisfying. Mia was a woman who let me know that she liked what I was doing. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever experienced and I felt about ten feet tall.
“Harder,” she panted, her face glowing and her eyes heavy-lidded with desire. “Don’t hold back. I want it all.”
And I wanted to give it to her but I wouldn’t be deterred from my original mission. Her supreme pleasure. Reaching between us, I placed a thumb on her clit and began to make quick circles around the swollen button. That’s all it took.
Mia went off like a rocket, her channel clamping down on my cock like a vise and sending me over as well. My climax ripped through me, excruciating in its intensity, and when it was over I fell on top of her completely wrung out and spent. Despite the fact that she could probably barely breathe Mia didn’t complain, content to enjoy the closeness. Her fingers glided up and down my spine until I gathered enough energy to roll off of her poor, squashed body.
Tucking her into my side, I let my fingers run through her long hair as fatigue overcame my body and my lids grew heavy. For the first time in a long while I was content. I had Mia by my side and this time I wasn’t going anywhere.
We’d wake up together. The first of many mornings to come.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Mia
After school on Monday, I stopped at Emmy’s office and helped reorganize the shelving units. Binders with cake styles on one shelf, binders with dresses on another, and so on. Anything that wasn’t bridal went on a different bookshelf altogether. When we were done we were going to dinner with Ashlyn near her retro shop. Ashlyn owned the biggest and best shop of retro items in the entire Midwest. She specialized in hard to find vinyl albums and novelty pieces in their original packaging such as Silly Putty or a Pet Rock.
“It’s just that I think I gave in too easily,” I said, sliding in a heavy binder on the bottom shelf of a huge bookcase that I prayed was attached to the wall. Otherwise, if it fell I’d be roadkill.
Emmy was standing on a small stepladder loading up the top shelves. “I don’t think you did anything wrong. You have feelings for each other and you expressed them in a physical way. Very understandable.”
Feelings. Such a wimpy word for all the emotions that I had swirling inside of me.
“Shouldn’t I have made him work harder?”
Chuckling, Emmy climbed down the ladder to grab another armful of books. “Did he make you be on top?”
My face went hot at the memories. “No. That’s not what I meant. It just seems like I should have done something…different.”
“You mean played hard to get?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “Although when you say it like that it sounds bad. I don’t like the idea of playing games in any relationship, least of all with Josh.”
Placing the books on a table, Emmy sat down on the floor with me. “Why don’t you cut to the chase and tell me what you’re worried about? Did he not call the next day?”
I smiled at the memory. “He didn’t have to. He was still there. He brought me breakfast in bed.”
“He sounds like a real loser,” Emmy taunted with a grin. “A man who cooks for you is so awful. Whatever you do, don’t have sex with him. Did he call the next day?”
“He called me on the way home. He called me that night. He called me the next day, and we even got together for barbecue last night.”
“Then I’m not sure what your complaint is. He sounds like he’s all in.”
“How long will it last?”
Giving a voice to my fear was supposed to help but I was still scared to death. It was worse than those velociraptors.
Emmy’s smile faded. “I don’t know. No one can keep up that sort of intensity forever and I think if you’re honest with yourself you wouldn’t want him to. You’d feel smothered and stalked. But for now it’s nice.”
“He’s always put his career first. Always.”
I didn’t want to be the afterthought in Josh’s life. I deserved to be a priority. Not the only one, of course. I wasn’t delusional. But I needed to know that when the chips were down, he’d be there.
“I know you don’t want to hear this but he can’t change who he is on a dime. You need to give him some time. He might make some mistakes but it sounds like he wants you in his life and is willing to do what he needs to make that happen.”
I wanted to trust and believe but it wasn’t easy.
“I want to change the subject to something far more pleasant,” I announced. “Saturday night. My place. I’m having a game night. Gib will be there. I want you two to meet.”
Emmy gave me a shrewd look. “If he’s so great how come you didn’t want him?”
“Because of Josh, which you know perfectly well. Gib is a great guy and I think you’d like him. This isn’t a fixup. I’m inviting him, you, Ashlyn, Shelby, Brad, and Josh. If you or Ashlyn happen to hit it off with him that would be great. If not, that’s okay, too.”
“So it’s kind of a fixup.”
“Think of it as a mixer. You might want to get to know Gib better or you might not. But he’s a super nice guy and if nothing else he’s my new friend.”
“That you met at a cake tasting,” Emmy laughed. “Are you sure you don’t want him? That would be a great story to tell the grandkids.”
So would being in love with Josh all of my life, but happily ever after might simply be out of my grasp.
* * *
Josh
Mia and I had been dating – officially – for a week. I’d talked to her every day and we’d been out a few times during the week, although not too late since we both had to work. Things were going well but I could tell I was still on probation. She was waiting for me to fuck up and I was determined not to do anything stupid. Only time would tell if I could manage it.
Right now, I was trying to win the best boyfriend ever medal and lend a hand with the little party Mia had decided to throw. Game night. She loved board games and it went without saying that I did, too. We’d already played a round of Clue and everybody was getting a fresh drink to go with the pizza that had just arrived. After we ate, we were planning to start the granddaddy of all games, Monopoly. No one wanted to do that on an empty stomach.
Mia joined me in the kitchen where I was making a pitcher of margaritas. The pizza boxes were laid out on the table and the smell of garlic and tomatoes was making my stomach growl.
“I think it’s going pretty well, although Gib doesn’t seem to have any chemistry with either Ashlyn or Emmy.”
I didn’t want to like Gibson Davis but dammit, he seemed like a decent guy. When Mia had told me she wanted to have a game night and invite her friends I was thrilled. I was being trotted out as the official boyfriend and that was progress as far as I was concerned.
Then she said that she was inviting her new friend Gib so that he could meet Emmy and Ashlyn. This wasn’t welcome news. She’d assured me that Gib didn’t think of her in a romantic way but I was having a hard time believing that. She was so amazing how could he not be smitten? Was he stupid?
Mia had warned me to be nice and I promised I would. It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. He didn’t hover around her or try and get her alone. He had his own business like I did, so we had that in common. He also liked sports and craft beers so we had topics to talk about. A hell of a lot more than I had in common with Shelby’s fiancé Brad. So far he’d spent most of the evening in the spare bedroom talking on his cell phone with someone in Los Angeles. Or Hong Kong. I hadn’t really been paying attention so it could have been Kathmandu for all I knew.
“I never knew you were such a matchmaker,” I replied, putting the cap back on the tequila bottle. The drinks were set up on the k
itchen counter so guests could go smoothly from the food to the beverages. Emmy, party planner extraordinaire, had made sure we efficiently organized. “It’s still early in the evening. You never know what might happen.”
“That’s true. It only took us twenty-five years or so.”
Ouch. Mia knew where to stick the knife.
“Hopefully Gib is smarter than I am.”
I’d teed it up for her but she didn’t take a swipe at it. The old Mia would have but it was kind of sweet that she didn’t this time.
“I don’t know why Brad even bothered to come,” she said softly, moving closer to me so she could keep her voice down. “He makes me crazy sometimes but it doesn’t seem to bother Shelby.”
It didn’t, which was a testament to her patience and ability to give Brad the space he needed to go after his goals and dreams. That’s how I’d always pictured my marriage. Each of us giving the other the space and opportunity to be successful.
It was strange to see it from the other side, though. I didn’t have a high opinion of Brad because he wasn’t paying any attention or time with Shelby. From the expressions of disdain on the other partygoers I wasn’t the only here tonight that felt the same. So what did that say about me when I acted that way? I didn’t like to think that Brad and I had anything in common… But we did.
It wasn’t a comfortable feeling. I didn’t want to be that guy and I sure as shit didn’t want to treat Mia that way. She deserved better, a fact she’d shared with me that night she’d ordered me out of her house.
“Shelby has a lot of her own stuff going,” I finally answered. “She might be relieved he isn’t breathing down her neck about the wedding plans. She can have whatever she wants.”
I’d always thought I would be the same type. Not care about the flowers or the cake but I’d found myself actually talking to Shelby about it, interested in the choices she’d made so far. I’d want an outdoor wedding, maybe at the beach. Not that there was a beach anywhere in the plains of Illinois.
Mia shrugged as if she didn’t care but her body was tense. She did care. “I just want her to be happy. Sometimes…”
“Yes?” I prompted. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
“I know. It’s just I hate to even say it out loud.” She poured herself a margarita and took a sip, grimacing a little. I’d made them strong. “Okay, here it is. Sometimes I think that maybe Shelby marrying Brad is a mistake. He loves her and that’s terrific. But…he doesn’t…make her the best version of herself. Do you know what I mean? She’s not happy and relaxed when he’s around. And it’s not just the wedding. It’s always been this way. She’s stiffer and more formal. She’s someone else and I’m not sure that I like her as much.”
I did know exactly what Mia was talking about. I’d seen it, too.
“In five or ten years, Shelby will probably act the same around Brad. Hell, maybe even worse. She’s a certain way with you, your parents, old friends because she’s known you all forever. Brad is newer in her life.”
That earned me an eyeroll. “They’ve dated for years. Years, Josh.”
Another strange thing about Brad. He’d been in absolutely no hurry to tie the knot with Shelby. He’d blamed getting his career going but he was in his late thirties. If he didn’t have his career going yet, he needed to reevaluate his goals.
“I probably don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know shit about relationships, remember? I’m just learning.” I paused, holding my breath. Did I dare say it? It was the truth. Why not? “You make me the best version of myself, Mia. I hope I do the same for you.”
She’d been about to take a drink but instead she set the glass down, carefully keeping her gaze trained on the countertop. I didn’t say anything else, honestly not sure what to do. Had I fucked up? The silence stretched painfully on until I had to force myself to take in oxygen even though my chest was tight and hurting. Right about where my heart was located.
Finally she turned her gaze to me, her usually bright green eyes more gray. There was a storm going on in Mia’s head and I was terrified of the outcome. “I want to believe you. More than anything. I’m going to get everyone so they can eat before the pizza gets cold.”
Without another word she exited the kitchen, leaving me standing there still processing her words. I’d fucked everything up so badly. Even now Mia didn’t have a clue as to how much she meant to me, and I didn’t know how to help her see it. The only thing I knew to do was to hang in there. Show her. Actions spoke louder than words.
Would she give me the chance to make her trust me? Had I already lost and just didn’t know it?
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Mia
I didn’t have anything to complain about. Josh had been terrific in the last week, making sure that I felt important in his life. I had kept him at arm’s length however, using the excuse that we both had to be up early in the morning for work. Since Saturday night all we’d done was kiss. Passionate kisses to be sure, and frustrating as hell, but I was still feeling unsure about whether I’d done the right thing by sleeping with him again. So far he was convincing me I had but I still wasn’t sure I could trust my own eyes.
Josh appeared to be the very picture of a devoted boyfriend. I simply wasn’t sure if eventually he’d get tired or bored and go back to his old ways.
“You’re frowning,” Ashlyn said when we took a break from the Monopoly game to refresh our drinks and get some dessert. As usual Emmy was killing it and building a real estate empire. I had about fifty bucks of play money and one valuable utility.
Ashlyn had made a chocolate cake that looked delicious and I’d whipped up a cheesecake that I retrieved from the refrigerator. “You should be happy. It looks like it’s all working out for you.”
“You sound like Emmy.”
Ashlyn glanced over her shoulder to where the rest of the guests were huddled around the booze. Josh was playing bartender and mixing drinks. “What about Shelby? What does she say?”
“She seems happy for me.” I sighed and slumped against the fridge, keeping my voice down. “I may have not told her about Saturday night.”
Brows up, Ashlyn gave a nervous laugh. “And may I ask why not? Never mind, I think I know. That crazy book, right? If it’s not in there she doesn’t want you doing it.”
“I’ve abandoned the book,” I admitted, clutching the cheesecake tightly. “Nothing is going as planned.”
“But it’s good?”
“So far.”
“You’re afraid to let yourself be happy.”
“That’s right. And for good reason. You’d be afraid, too.”
Sneaking a glance at Josh, Ashlyn smiled. “He looks pretty taken with you. Maybe you should give him a chance.”
To steamroll my heart and flatten it like a pancake. Just like that coyote in the cartoons when an anvil falls on his head.
“That’s easier to say than to do.”
“You can’t make it work like this, with one foot out of the door. You’ve asked him to commit. It isn’t fair not to do it yourself. I know you wanted to keep your options open but now that you’ve slept with him again things have sort of changed. You’re a couple and you’re together. Now let’s cut that cheesecake. Is that salted caramel sauce on the top?”
“It is,” I confirmed but my mind was still back at what my friend had said. She had an excellent point. I couldn’t ask Josh to do something that I wasn’t willing to do myself. “Thanks, Ashlyn. I’m going to think about your advice.”
“Advice? I didn’t give any advice. I simply made an observation. Whether you think I’m correct or not is up to you. Personally, I think I’m freakin’ brilliant.”
I had to agree. If I wanted Josh to be all in, I had to be too. I had to conquer this annoying as hell fear that he was going to hurt me. I had to offer him a little trust.
* * *
Mia
“You gave Emmy a run for her money tonight. She’s pretty much unbeatable
at Monopoly.”
At the end of the game it had come down to Josh and Emmy squaring off for world domination. Emmy had ended up the winner but she hadn’t had any easy time of it. Josh loved games and he was incredibly competitive to boot. He wasn’t going down without a fight.
Despite his stinging loss, he’d stayed behind to help me clean up after everyone else had gone home. Shelby didn’t even linger like she usually did. From what I could tell, she and Brad were going to have a nasty argument in the car on the way home and then not speak to one another for a few days. Brad hadn’t budged from my spare room most of the night and at first Shelby hadn’t minded but eventually she’d tired of everyone asking about her erstwhile fiancé. Brad on the other hand looked like he didn’t have a clue as to why she was mad. Knowing my sister – and I did know her well – she was going to spend the next hour or so educating him.
I almost felt a little sorry for Brad.
“That girl is crazy competitive,” Josh said, rinsing glasses in my sink. “I think she hates to lose more than she likes to win.”
I tapped my chin as if deep in thought. “Hmmm…who does that sound like? Could it be…you? You’re one of the most competitive people I’ve ever met. You’re only describing yourself.”
He dried his hands on a dishtowel and then reached out to pull me into his arms. Shivering in response to his casual touch, I looped my arms around his neck as we kissed. Softly at first and then more urgently, our emotions finally being let free after being bottled up all week. I lost track of time as our caresses became more intimate, his hand skimming under my sweater to stroke the bare flesh over my ribcage right under my breast while my fingers snaked up into the silky curls at the nape of his neck.
Tempt Him Page 18
