by Mari Carr
“Please,” she cried. “Please fuck me. Let me come.”
He placed a light kiss on her thigh. “No.”
“Dammit, Sawyer. You’re killing me.”
He chuckled, his hot breath tickling her sensitive pussy. Her toes clenched and she wrestled against the chains holding her defenseless against his sensual torment, reeling at the irony of her situation. Last night, she’d struggled to come, thinking that sexual reward beyond her grasp.
Oh how the tide had turned.
Sawyer’s mouth returned to her clit at the same time he shoved one wet finger into her ass. She disintegrated. She crumbled. She came.
Sawyer pressed his forehead to her stomach as she rode out the storm.
Gasping, sweaty, she hung bonelessly from the beams. Sawyer slowly began unhooking her ankles. He made sure she’d found her feet before releasing her wrists. Once she was completely free, he was there to catch her, to support her.
He shook his head, as if disappointed in her. “Naughty girl.”
She didn’t have the strength to laugh. “Sorry.” Her tone betrayed her lack of remorse.
Sawyer leaned her against the cross, keeping a firm hand on her shoulder to ensure she stayed upright. She wasn’t that weak, but before she could speak, he removed one of the nipple clamps.
Pain and arousal streaked through her like wildfire, and she was suddenly grateful for Sawyer’s supportive hold as another climax rumbled through her body. She was only a bit more prepared when he removed the second clamp. Tossing them to the floor, he stepped closer, caging her to the wall with his body as his lips descended to offer sweet relief to her sore nipples.
“How can I love something so much when it hurts like shit?”
Sawyer looked at her, his face such an odd mixture of emotions she wasn’t sure what she was seeing. “You’re incredible, Leah.”
She smiled at the compliment. “I’m a freak.”
He laughed. “If that’s true then I’m a lunatic because I love exploring your limits and your tolerance for pain. Love watching you explode. A man could get addicted to you.”
She didn’t care about other men, but she wouldn’t mind having Sawyer captivated by her. At least then she wouldn’t feel so alone in her overwhelming infatuation.
He held her for a few moments, the two of them simply standing in each other’s arms. She tried to soak up as much of his strength as possible. She recalled his earlier threat and realized they were only in the early stages of this game.
Sawyer cupped her face with his hand. “Ready to try the bench?”
She nodded. “Very.”
He kissed her softly, before murmuring, “Addicted.”
He led her to the apparatus, giving her a chance to study the shape.
“Kneel.”
She placed her knees on the cushion. Sawyer pressed on her shoulders, splaying her over the angled top until her head was slightly lower than her ass.
She started when he gripped her ankles and secured them to the sides of the bench. Once again, he’d found a new way to leave her exposed. She wasn’t sure what it said about her that she craved this type of bondage.
“I’m not going to tie your hands this time. Put them down and grip the base.”
She obeyed as a second wind came over her. Sheer giddy excitement wiped away her previous exhaustion. She fidgeted, anxiously awaiting his spanking. She’d loved the heat and pain he’d produced last night. Her pussy clenched, hungrily.
“Hurry,” she pleaded.
Sawyer sighed. “You need to stop trying to run the show, Leah. Maybe you need a stronger reminder of who’s in control here.”
She lifted her head and started to look over her shoulder at him, but he halted her.
“Eyes forward or I’ll blindfold you again.”
She turned her head to the front, facing the wall before her. It was then she realized there was a mirror hanging directly before them.
Sawyer winked at her in the reflection. “This way I can see all of you—your pretty face, your red ass. And you can see…” He reached behind him for something. When he raised his hand, she spotted the paddle.
Her breath caught, but she was careful not to reveal too much. Sawyer studied her expression, looking for any reaction that would give him a reason to stop.
Her arousal grew at the idea of Sawyer paddling her bare bottom. She must’ve failed in her attempt to hide her desire.
Sawyer didn’t give her time to wonder about the sensation. After his standard pause for the safe word, he lifted it and swung. Leah groaned, the impact so different from his hand. Because the paddle covered a larger area, it actually didn’t hurt as much as Sawyer’s palm. Or so she thought until his next swing.
“God,” she yelled, her ass stinging.
Sawyer planted several more slaps before he dropped it, running his fingers along her slit.
She cried out with relief when he drove two fingers into her pussy roughly. He increased the pace gradually until Leah’s vision dimmed with light-headedness.
“Have to come. Have to come,” she panted out the constant mantra.
“No. You’re not allowed.”
“Please. God, please,” she yelled. This game was too much, too good.
He added two more smacks on her sore bottom with his hand and another finger to the pair in her pussy, currently driving her insane.
“I can’t stop,” she said, before screaming as her orgasm crashed in on her. She retained a death grip on the base of the bench, pushing her hips against his fingers, wishing it were his cock inside her. She pressed her forehead against the leather beneath her as she tried to recover from the powerful climax.
Sawyer’s hands in her hair brought her to her senses. When had he moved? She lifted her head and found him kneeling in front of her. Somewhere along the line he’d shed his clothing and his hard cock was inches from her face. He really had left her senseless.
She grinned and reached for him.
Sawyer grasped her hands before she could claim her prize and shook his head. “Leave them where they were. You aren’t allowed to touch me.”
She started to protest, but Sawyer raised a single eyebrow. “Ready for another spanking so soon?”
She closed her mouth.
“Who controls your body?”
She licked her lips. “You do.” The answer came much easier tonight. There was no point in denying something that was so obvious to both of them.
“There’s a difference between a blowjob and what I’m about to do.”
“Okay.”
He grinned at her worried tone. “Don’t look so nervous. You’ll like this. I want to fuck your mouth. Open up.”
She parted her lips, realizing how easy it was for her to follow Sawyer’s commands. He asked for something, and she didn’t hesitate to give it to him. Eventually she’d need time to understand what that meant, but it wasn’t going to happen now.
The moment her mouth fell open, Sawyer was there, the head of his cock rubbing against her lips. She tried to capture the drops of pre-come, but he shook his head when she touched him with her tongue.
“No, Leah. This isn’t a blowjob. I’m fucking you. Open your mouth and hold on.”
That was the only warning she got before his cock dove deeper into her mouth. She felt compelled to participate—suck, lick, something—but every time she started to get involved, Sawyer pulled away.
After his third retreat, he cupped her face and raised her gaze to his. “What part of just open your mouth is giving you trouble?”
She narrowed her eyes at his smartass question, ready to eviscerate him. “Sawyer. I’m trying—”
“No. You aren’t. I understand that you have issues with needing to be in charge and I wasn’t foolish enough to think that you’d overcome them all last night, regardless of how sweetly you submitted to me. But this exploration isn’t going to end tomorrow. We’re returning to Compton Pass together.”
She licked her lips uncomfor
tably. “We’re sharing a flight. Of course, we’re going home together.”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”
She shook her head. “Maybe you should spell it out.”
“I can’t let this end yet.”
“This?” She needed him to explain exactly what it was he expected from her. She knew all too well what she hoped for, but she didn’t think that was what he was saying. Besides, while she’d had several orgasms in the past hour or so, Sawyer had yet to give in once. Was this his cock talking or his brain?
“We’ve only scratched the surface of all the things I can show you. You aren’t dating anyone at home, right?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not seeing anyone right now.”
“I think we should continue exploring your limits.”
He wanted to keep playing BDSM games with her? He made no mention of dating, of pursuing a relationship. She was torn. While she wanted what he was offering, she wasn’t sure she could keep her heart from hoping for more, something he didn’t sound willing to offer.
“But your family—”
“Is fucked up right now. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I know I can’t survive what comes next without this.”
She was speechless. Every word he said chiseled itself into her heart. He wanted more time with her. He needed the comfort she could offer. She was amazed, ecstatic, terrified.
“You don’t have to answer now. Think about what I’m saying. I know it’s sudden. We haven’t seen each other much these past few years. I’m asking for your trust and a leap of faith, but I know when something is right, Leah, and this feels about as close to perfect as it gets.”
She agreed. Their bodies and desires were made for each other. She couldn’t debate that. If she were a different woman, she’d take exactly what he offered without a second’s hesitation. Unfortunately, she was afraid of what came after. What happened when he decided their explorations should end? Where would she be then?
“I don’t know—”
Sawyer cut her off with a sexy grin. “You can argue and protest and all that bullshit, Leah, but I aim to get what I want and I don’t plan on losing.”
She laughed at his determination. “Wow. Way to offer me a choice.”
He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. “Oh, the decision is yours. I’m telling you to choose right,” he teased.
She loved his humor.
“We’ll talk about it later, rose. For now, open that sexy mouth.”
This time, it was easier to obey. Sawyer pushed his cock inside as Leah’s mind raced. He would keep her as his submissive lover. Could she do that? She’d warned him that her obedience began and ended at the bedroom door. Would he accept that while she might do his bidding in bed, she was an independent woman with a mind of her own? She made her own decisions, lived her life to suit her.
His hands tugged at her hair, and she groaned.
“I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to you, Leah.”
She closed her eyes, reveling as his intimate possession drove her arousal higher. Regardless of her other concerns, her lust for Sawyer was far from burning out.
“I need you. Need this. You’re so fucking sexy. Please, don’t let this end tonight, rose.”
She wondered if he was saying these things now because he felt safer talking to her when she couldn’t answer. Could he truly fear she’d reject what he was offering? Did he think she’d deny him anything?
He’d told her to keep her hands on the bench, but she couldn’t do it—couldn’t listen to everything he was saying—without touching him. She gripped his waist. He paused briefly and she expected him to stop, to punish her. He did neither.
“I love your hands on me, your soft hair, your quiet cries. Jesus, Leah. I’m never going to get enough. I’ll keep taking and taking because I can’t resist you, your body, your orgasms. I’m going to claim your pussy, your ass, your mouth. They’re mine now. I can’t let you go.”
She tightened her grip, tried to take him deeper. He wouldn’t let her speak, so she’d have to show him without words. When his cock touched her throat again, she swallowed the head.
“Fuck,” he grunted. “Shit. Can’t stop.”
He grasped her head more firmly as he moved into her mouth faster, deeper. The first drops of semen landed on her tongue, and she hummed her assent. The vibration was all Sawyer needed. Hot spurts of come painted the back of her throat. She swallowed as her fingers dug into his sweat-slicked waist, desperate to keep him close.
She protested lightly when he pulled out of her mouth, but her cries were cut off when he lifted her face and kissed her. His tongue tangled with hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on for dear life as he deepened the embrace.
Eventually Sawyer rose. Leah clutched the leather bench, wonderfully exhausted. Sawyer untied her ankles and helped her to her feet. When she wobbled, he bent and picked her up, carrying her to bed as if she were a fragile China doll. He joined her on the mattress and resumed the kiss.
Soon their touches became more heated, his gentle caresses more urgent. When he climbed over her, she opened her legs and welcomed him in, wondering how she’d survived so many years without him.
He thrust into her and she was there to meet him halfway. They took their time, neither of them in a hurry to see the night end. Tomorrow would be here too soon and with it would come certain pain and heartache. For tonight, they could disappear into the darkness, into each other. Hopefully, they’d find enough strength in these moments to guide them through the days and weeks to come.
Chapter Six
Leah took the road that would lead Sawyer to his home more slowly than necessary. He knew what she was doing. All the stall tactics in the world weren’t going to make a difference and they sure as shit weren’t going to help him calm down. It had been a rather subdued trip to Wyoming. He’d said too much last night, trying to convince Leah to commit to a D/s affair. Even though it was the worst possible time to try to plan a future with someone, he’d panicked at the thought of ending their new relationship. Desperation had him firmly in its grip.
He’d lost so much yesterday—trust in his brothers, a long future with his father, a sense of home. He’d taken one look at Leah’s sweet face and known he couldn’t lose her too.
Of course, it would be a miracle if she didn’t drop his ass off at the front door and run for the hills after his caveman-like you’re mine speech.
He rubbed his forehead, trying to ward off the headache that had been threatening all morning. He hadn’t managed more than a few hours of restless sleep last night as his mind raced over everything—Sam, JD, Leah, the Coast Guard resignation he’d faxed to his superior officer. His life was one giant powder keg sitting smack in the middle of a lightning storm. One strike and everything was going to be reduced to cinders.
He glanced at Leah. There were dark circles under her eyes that made him think she hadn’t slept any better than him. They’d had to rush around this morning in order to make their flight. Once they’d boarded the plane, they were separated. His last-minute ticket purchase prevented them from snagging two seats together.
“Leah. About last night. I owe you an apology.”
She frowned, but didn’t take her eyes off the road. “What for?”
“I came on a little strong. I hope I didn’t scare you.”
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel and he bit back a curse. Shit. He really had frightened her.
She sighed. “It’s okay. Yesterday was a pretty emotional day, Saw. I know better than to put too much stock in things said in the heat of the moment.”
He looked at her. “I meant what I told you. We’re going to keep going.”
She glanced at him and for a second, he feared she’d refuse him.
Before she could answer, they turned on to the driveway of Compass ranch and Sawyer’s stomach sunk.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
Leah’s gaze soft
ened. “It’ll all be okay. We can sort out our issues later. For now, you need to concentrate on your family.”
Terror gripped him as he considered what was waiting for him at home. Leah had gently tried to prepare him for the changes the cancer had wrought in his tough-as-steel father. He prayed he’d be able to hold himself together.
Leah slowed the car more than the gravel driveway required. Her actions reminded him of Sam, and a cold calmness descended. The need to make someone hurt as much as he’d been aching since hearing about JD’s illness inundated him. His deceitful brother would be a welcome punching bag.
“You might as well push on the gas pedal. The end result is going to be the same whether it happens now or five minutes from now.”
She glanced at him anxiously. “I think you need to take a deep breath and calm down. You’re uptight.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I’m perfectly relaxed. I’m going to have a little chat with my brothers. I don’t give a good god damn if that’s done verbally or with fists.”
“Sawyer—”
“Don’t, Leah. Don’t try to placate me. They’ve been home for months. I should have been here too. JD is fucking dying. They had no right to deprive me of that time with my dad.” He silently cursed as his voice cracked a bit. So many wasted days. It wasn’t fair.
“I understand you’re angry. Hell, I’d be pissed off too. I think you need to give them a chance to explain why they didn’t call you.”
“Do you honestly think there’s any reason in the world that’s fucking good enough to keep me from coming home?”
She winced as his yelling reverberated off the closed car windows. He leaned against the headrest and forced himself to inhale slowly. Maybe she was right. He needed to get a grip.
As they pulled up to the house, Sawyer turned to Leah.
She glanced at him warily. “I should head back to my apartment.”
Sawyer shook his head. He was facing some of the hardest moments of his life. “No. Stay.”
She started to argue, so he quickly added, “Please.”
She released a long sigh. “I’d be in the way, Sawyer. This is your homecoming. It should just be family.”
