by Mari Carr
Leah had woken up nearly an hour earlier when she heard Sawyer quietly moving around the bedroom. He’d told her to go back to sleep, but—like him—she couldn’t stop thinking about the coming day.
JD’s funeral was expected to be the largest Compton Pass had ever seen. A giant in the community, there wasn’t a single soul in the area who didn’t know and respect him. Rather than try to squeeze the entire town into the too-small funeral home, they’d opted to hold the ceremony on the ranch. Vicky had smiled when they’d proposed the idea, telling them JD would like that.
Leah and Sawyer had tiptoed downstairs together to discover Vicky had been the earlier bird. They’d enjoyed the quiet morning for nearly an hour without speaking, all of them lost in their thoughts.
Sawyer broke the silence first. “It’s going to be a beautiful day.”
Vicky nodded. “I bet JD’s pulling some strings in heaven.”
Leah liked the idea of JD providing the sunshine. The thought comforted her. “I think I smell bacon.”
Vicky turned her head to the house. “That’ll be Seth. It’s his answer to all of life’s problems.”
Leah laughed. “Wow. Never considered that before, but I think he may be on to something.”
“I’m hungry.” It was the first time in two days Vicky had shown any appetite at all, never taking more than a bite or two when one of the boys insisted.
Sawyer stood up and grasped his mother’s hand. “I’m starving. Let’s go eat.”
The morning passed slowly, no one in a hurry to move to the inevitable event. The whole family ate a leisurely breakfast, the conversation sparse and involving little more than someone asking for a plate to be passed. After breakfast, they retired to their separate spaces to get dressed. Sam and Cindi had their own little cottage on the property as did Lucy, Silas and Colby.
While nothing had been decided, Leah was certain Seth and Jody would remain at the ranch house with Vicky after the funeral. Sawyer had spent most of the past month dividing his time between home and Leah’s apartment. They were still in the early days of their relationship, but she was hoping perhaps he’d move in with her once the dust settled.
The city council had offered him the sheriff’s position a couple weeks earlier, so it made more sense for him to live closer to town. Roberts had agreed to stay on longer, training him on a part-time basis and allowing Sawyer the extra time to be with JD.
When a parade of cars started down the driveway, the family gathered together on the front porch. Sawyer handed Leah her guitar.
Once they arrived at the family’s burial plot on the west side of the property, she would play. Though they’d expected a large crowd, Leah was amazed by the sheer number of people. It was as if every man, woman and child from Compton Pass were there. Her mother gave her a brief wave from the yard before dabbing her face with a tissue.
Leah’s eyes filled with tears and she took a deep breath, forcing them away. She glanced at Sawyer, his face chiseled in stone. She suspected the veneer was starting to wear thin.
The night of JD’s death, he’d crawled into his bed with her, put his head on her chest and quietly cried in her arms until he fell asleep. Since then, he’d taken up Vicky’s habit of constant movement, handling most of the thousand little things that needed attending to and entertaining the steady stream of visitors to the ranch.
Silas appeared at the front door, holding the urn containing JD’s ashes. Silas’s usually impassive face was lined with pain. Leah lost her battle with tears. JD’s oldest son would carry his father to his final resting place.
Sawyer wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Moonshine jar,” he whispered. “One of the few instructions JD left about what he’d like for his funeral.”
Leah smiled through her tears. Only JD Compton would want to go to the great beyond in a moonshine jar.
Silas cradled the container, wrapped in JD’s favorite flannel shirt, in his arm and started forward, leaning heavily on his cane. Colby helped Silas descend the porch stairs. On solid ground, Silas waited for his brothers to join him. The four Compass brothers led the procession as Vicky, wearing JD’s cowboy hat, followed closely behind, supported by Colby. Leah walked with Lucy, Jody and Cindi.
The short trek to the cemetery plot was made without a sound, only the occasional sniffle breaking the silence. When they arrived, Leah saw the hole Colby had dug earlier in the day.
Glancing around, she observed the graves of earlier generations of Comptons, some of the stones dating to the early 1800s. She was overwhelmed by the sense of family, of tradition surrounding them. JD had been one in a long line of powerful, honorable men. Leah looked at Sawyer and recognized that same strength and pride in him.
Sawyer caught her gaze, and then nodded. She moved forward to sit on the chair Colby had provided for her. Opening her guitar case, she lifted the instrument to her lap and swallowed hard, forcing the lump in her throat away. JD had asked her to perform at his funeral. At the time, she would have promised him the moon.
Now she realized how difficult it was going to be to honor his request. He deserved a beautiful tribute, but her throat was tight with unshed tears. She closed her eyes and let the silence clear her mind. JD’s smiling face appeared as she recalled him dancing Cindi down the aisle, giving her away to his son.
The image balanced her, gave her the power to sing. The opening strains of Amazing Grace were soft, but as she lost herself to the lyrics of the song, her voice gradually gained strength. She began to strum her guitar, singing louder. Colby joined her on the second verse and soon, everyone in the crowd added their voices to the melody.
As they sang, Silas uncapped the jar. Slowly, he poured his father’s ashes into the hole. Once the container was empty, Vicky stepped forward. She took off JD’s hat, placing it on top of the ashes.
Seth retrieved the shovel Colby had left near the gravesite, scooping up some of the loose earth and layering it in the hole. Then, he handed the tool to Sam, who followed suit.
Leah’s voice wavered slightly when Sawyer accepted the shovel from his twin and added his own dirt to the grave. Sawyer wiped his face roughly as he passed it to Silas. Silas took his turn and then he approached his mother. Vicky put the last two mounds on JD’s grave, tears streaming from her eyes.
She blew a kiss to JD, and then she stepped away. Seth was there, offering a strong hand at her back as the final strains of the song ended.
The four brothers stood by their mother, facing the crowd. Last night, they had met in the barn with a twelve-pack of beer—and two cans of Pepsi for Silas—to write their father’s eulogy.
When he’d come to bed, well after midnight, Sawyer had reached for Leah in the darkness. She’d asked him how it had gone. Rather than answer, he’d pulled her beneath him, slowly pushing into her body. He’d trembled as he made love to her. She’d wrapped her arms around him, kissing away his silent tears.
Now the four brothers stood shoulder to shoulder. Someone handed Silas a microphone.
He cleared his throat. ”Thank you all for coming today to the place my forefathers built. JD was the latest in a line of hardworking, generous and badass Comptons. I can only hope that someday, my children will stand in this spot and think as highly of me and what I’ve done with my life. JD gave me something to aspire to, something to try to measure up against and something I’ll never forget. A sense of family. All of you, all of Compton Pass, are a part of that extended tree. JD told me once that we have so many different jobs to do here that we need all sorts of people. Even ones we don’t understand. I think maybe he was trying to tell me something personal then.”
He glanced over his shoulder to where Colby and Lucy embraced.
“As the new head of Compass ranch, I plan to uphold his traditions. I was the luckiest bastard in the world to have JD Compton for my father. I’ll do my best to be half as decent as him.”
Seth was next. He took a step forward. “I could always count on my dad for the truth and a
laugh. I don’t think I ever realized how much those two things meant to me until the night before my wedding. JD came into the guest room to talk to me since Jody had kicked me out, claiming bad luck.” Seth looked at Jody and winked. “He sat down in the chair by the window and he said, ‘Son, never start an argument with your wife unless you’re right.’ I nodded as I always did, appreciating my father’s wisdom. I thought about what he’d said and knew that was pretty good advice. I told him I’d keep that in mind. Then JD added, ‘And just so you know, you’re never gonna be right.’” The crowd laughed. Seth smiled, though there were tear tracks on his cheeks. “My wedding only took place about a month ago, so I haven’t had much time to try out his advice, but I’ll let you know if JD was speaking the truth. I sort of suspect he is.”
Seth stepped back and Vicky wrapped her arm around his waist. “I can tell you right now, he is.”
Leah giggled. There was nothing better than laughter through tears. The beauty of this family was their resilience. Their loss had been tremendous, but even in the face of their pain, they found a way to smile. JD would definitely have approved.
Sam followed when the chuckles trailed off. “All I’d like to say is that my dad was the richest man I knew. He could have lost everything to some hellacious drought, or most likely by giving his last dollar to help someone else, and he’d still have been wealthy. Because he knew that what pays off most is love. I count myself fortunate beyond measure. I won the lotto big-time when it comes to that. And though my gorgeous new wife has also lost a father, we will carry on—live, laugh and thrive—because we have the only thing of any value. My dad showed me every day what it’s like to dedicate your soul to a woman and I plan to do just that in his honor.”
Sawyer was the last to speak and the pain on his face tore Leah to pieces. “JD told me if you start a journey looking back, maybe you aren’t heading in the right direction. When I left for the Coast Guard, I was pretty sure my navigational beacon wasn’t pointing due north, but west. I took off, ready to take on the world, a cocky eighteen-year-old. These last few weeks, I’ve come to realize there isn’t one right or wrong direction. A friend reminded me that the point of life isn’t to worry about staying the course, it’ simply to walk, to put one foot in front of the other.”
Sawyer glanced at her and smiled. His face became blurry as her eyes filled.
“It was JD who taught me to walk. He put me on my unsteady feet and let go of my hands. He gave me a taste of the freedom that comes from putting one foot in front of the other and the courage to forge my own path. It was the greatest gift I ever received.”
Leah wiped her eyes, the tears flowing rapidly, when Sawyer’s voice broke.
Sawyer took a moment to compose himself, then looked out into the crowd. “I thought I’d share his last words to me with all of you because they are simple and true. Be happy. Find what makes you smile and hold on tight to it.”
Sawyer returned to his brothers’ sides, clasping his mother’s hand. Colby invited everyone to return to the house for some dinner. He said, “JD left very few instructions. The one thing he insisted on was, and I quote, ‘a big-ass party’.”
Everyone laughed as Colby continued. “Nobody loved a barn dance more than JD, and we thought it would be a suitable tribute to him.”
The crowd began to disperse, everyone heading to the barn. Leah packed up her guitar and approached Sawyer.
“You hanging in there?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Helps having you here. That song was beautiful, Leah. Thank you.” He stroked her cheek lovingly and gave her a sad smile.
They started to return to the house when they noticed Vicky still standing by the grave. Sawyer squeezed her hand.
“Go get her,” Leah whispered.
Sawyer went to his mother. He whispered something that made her smile. Sawyer put his arm around his mother, and he led her slowly toward home.
“It was a wonderful service,” Vicky said as they reached the spot where Leah waited for them.
“It really was,” Leah agreed.
Vicky looked up at the blue sky and took a deep breath of the cool autumn air. “We’re all going to be fine.”
It was a simple statement, but Leah felt the rightness of it.
They would be.
After a huge covered-dish dinner, all the men in attendance started breaking down tables and moving the chairs against the wall of the barn. During the meal, Vicky had recalled the barn dance where she’d first met JD. She’d told everyone in hearing distance about how he’d been the life of the party, leading off the dancing. According to his mother, when it came to community socials, JD was always the first to hit the floor and the last to leave it.
She’d asked Lucy to grab a photograph from the family album. Lucy came back with it and they all passed it around laughing. Sawyer had never seen the old picture before, but he grinned when he saw the much-younger image of his father. JD was leading a conga line of costumed partiers at a Halloween celebration. His arms were raised, and his smile was contagious.
On the return trip to the house, Sawyer had dreaded the coming evening. Given the heavy emotions of the funeral and the past two days, all he’d wanted to do was go upstairs, crawl into bed and sleep for the next week. However, as always, JD had known the right answer.
Vicky had more color in her face tonight than she’d had in weeks. She was chatting with her friends, eating, reminiscing. Lucy made sure his mother’s wineglass was always full and while she was far from drunk, Vicky was certainly relaxed, almost at peace.
The music kicked on, but the floor remained empty. Everyone looked around as if uncertain what to do. Silas caught Sawyer’s gaze and nodded. The two of them walked toward the middle of the barn. Sawyer wasn’t surprised when Sam and Seth joined them. The crowd of partygoers laughed as the four brothers started shuffling around and singing along with the music. Show Me the Way to Go Home had been JD’s favorite song ever since the movie Jaws came out. Sawyer couldn’t count the number of times he’d heard his dad humming the tune as he worked on the ranch.
Halfway through the song, Seth dragged Vicky out on the floor with them, spinning her around as she laughed. The music continued and soon the barn floor was packed with dancers.
Hours passed, but no one left. No one wanted to break the spell of the magical night. After the heavy emotions of the past month, Sawyer hadn’t expected to have so much fun for a very long time.
“Hiya, gorgeous,” Leah said. “Where have you been hiding my whole life?”
He caught the distinct smell of tequila on her breath. “Guess I don’t have to ask where you gals snuck off to. Enjoy your shots?”
She giggled. Sawyer grinned. He’d never seen Leah tipsy. Just when he thought she couldn’t get any cuter, she found a way to surprise him.
“I only had one shot, but wow, my head’s sort of spinning.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Yeah, but you also had a couple glasses of wine with dinner.”
“Crap. I forgot about that.”
He led her to the door of the barn. “How about some fresh air? Might clear your head.”
“Okay.” She accepted his proffered hand, and together they meandered away from the party, toward the woods. “I think that’s the best dance I’ve ever been to.”
Sawyer agreed. The party ranked up there. “It’s been a great night.” He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.
“What’s wrong?” Leah asked.
“I’m trying to figure out if I’m supposed to feel this good. I mean, we buried my father this morning. Is this right?”
Leah glanced up at the sky, the moonlight reflected on her face. “I keep thinking about what JD wanted for the family. I remember his last words to you. He said be happy. In a lot of ways, you and your brothers were lucky. You had weeks to say goodbye to your dad, to tell him all the things you wanted to say. There was closure. A lot of people don’t get that.”
Sawyer nodded. “Nev
er looked at it that way. You’re right.”
“But more than the closure, you had time to prepare for this. You knew today was coming.”
“Yeah. I did.”
“And was it as bad as you imagined?”
Sawyer shook his head.
“Nope. Most of the time the things we fear are never as horrible as we imagine. JD only made two requests for his funeral—the moonshine jar and the barn dance. He knew how to live life to the fullest. He suspected his death would be very hard for you, so he found a way to make it easier, to remind you to laugh. If I’ve learned one thing today, it’s that life goes on.”
“I love you, Leah.”
She smiled. “I never get tired of hearing that.”
“Good. Because I intend to say it to you every day for the rest of your life.”
Leah laughed. “Careful, cowboy. That sounds perilously close to a proposal.”
Sawyer dropped to his knee. “I practiced it a little different, but you’re right. That’s exactly what it is. Marry me, rose.”
Leah gasped when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. “Took Mom into town with me last week to help me choose one. We had to get it sized. Marco, the jeweler, tugged me aside and handed it to me tonight.”
“You bought me a ring?”
“Why do you sound so surprised?”
She shrugged. “No one can feel this happy. It can’t be natural.”
Sawyer’s grinned widened. “Does that mean you’ll marry me?”
Her eyes twinkled with mischief. “Are you giving me a choice? A real choice?”
He stood. “Of course I am. So long as you choose right.”
“And if I don’t?” she teased.
“I’m going to pull a Seth Compton and kidnap you. Tie you to my bed and make love to you until you agree to marry me.”
Leah laughed. “God, Saw. You’re making this a very hard decision.”
Sawyer wrapped his arms around her waist. “What if I promise to tie you up even if you say yes?”
She nodded. “That helps.”
She fell silent. Sawyer realized she was having a lot of fun at his expense. “Put me out of my misery, Leah. Yes or no?”
