Dean Bello frowns. “Don’t you think you two snogging will make things worse?”
I hadn’t thought about that.
“Look, I’m just saying, if people are going to talk about me, I might as well give them something to talk about,” I say. “It’s not Tristan’s fault. I sort of attacked him.”
“I didn’t push her away,” Tristan says. “I know it’s inappropriate and I can assure you that nothing like that will happen again.”
“At least not in the hallway,” I say. Because, seriously. I plan on kissing him again. Hopefully soon.
“Make sure that it doesn’t. If it happens again, you two will find yourself in detention. Which, by the way, starts at six a.m.,” she says. “And Tristan, just because you’re an undercover student doesn’t mean I can’t make you go to dentition. I doubt Katerina’s mum will be happy when she hears about this.”
“My mum won’t care,” I say. “My dad totally would.”
Though I doubt she will be telling him.
Dad already thinks I’m dating Tristan. But he doesn’t want his only daughter making out with any boys.
“Well, we will see,” Dean Bello says, and hands over two pieces of paper. “You two are free to go to class.”
I grab the late pass and then head outside.
“That was so awkward,” I tell Tristan, as he shuts the door.
“Let’s just get to class,” he says. “We will talk later.”
He walks me to my class and leaves without another word.
I hope I didn’t make things awkward between us.
I know.
Tristan wants to talk to me, but he doesn’t want to do it in the dorm where Savannah and Madox are currently doing their homework. So, we walk out to the lake.
I have a lot of memories here. Good ones and bad ones. It feels strange to be back here. I haven’t been here since the day that Kazimir died. I never saw anything. Tristan wouldn’t let me. For that, I am grateful.
He is silent on the way there, which makes me nervous. I have a feeling that whatever he is going to tell me, it isn’t good.
Finally, when we get there, he looks at me, but he doesn’t make eye contact.
Yep, very bad.
“Why did you do that today?” he asks, finally looking me in the eyes. “Why did you kiss me?”
“Because I felt like it.”
He doesn’t smile. “You can’t… I’m… and you’re…”
I cut him off before he can finish whatever thought he’s forming. “But I did. I thought it was pretty good myself. I mean, I don’t have any kisses to compare it to, but I can’t imagine it gets any better than that.”
“You know that you and I can’t be together, right?” he asks.
I nod.
My chest hurts, but I know he’s right. We can’t be together.
“But it was a good kiss,” I say, because I want him to admit that he liked it too.
He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me.
“I’m sorry, okay,” I say, apologizing. He knows that I never apologize. “It just happened. I didn’t think it through. I know that I shouldn’t have. And I’m not sorry the kiss happened, because the kiss was perfect. But I am sorry that I made you uncomfortable.”
“Don’t apologize,” he says. “If anybody should apologize, it’s me. I should never have kissed you back.”
“I’m glad you kissed me back.” I would’ve felt really stupid if he didn’t.
“But it’s not appropriate,” he says.
“Did you enjoy it?” I ask.
“I am only going to talk about it this one time, and then we are going to pretend that it never happened,” he says. “Yes I enjoyed the kiss. I enjoyed it a lot. I’m attracted to you in a way that I shouldn’t be. I have been since the first day I met you. And I’ve been jealous of Damon and you. Every time you two are together, I feel like I die a little more inside. I know that I can’t be with you, so this makes me sound very selfish, but I am so glad you broke up with him.”
I stand there watching him.
And I am completely stunned.
This is Tristan! And yeah, I’ve been attracted to him too, but I knew there was no way I could ever have a chance with him. And now, he’s basically saying there is a chance. I know we can’t really be together now. I’m his job. But maybe in the future, when I’m older. Maybe this can work out.
I open my mouth to say something, but he stops me.
“Let’s head back now,” he says, then starts walking away before I can say a word. I follow him.
“Just so you know,” I say from behind him, “the feeling is mutual.”
He stops and turns towards me. “I know, Katerina.”
“You know?”
How could he possibly know?
“You’re not an easy person to read,” he says. “But I have got you figured out. And trust me, if I could, I would be with you. This whole thing is about your safety. I can’t be distracted by my feelings for you.”
My heart beats faster.
“I know that I should’ve told you not to break up with Damon.”
“I would have anyway,” I say.
“Maybe,” Tristan says. “I know that I’m not being fair to you right now, and for that I am sorry. I won’t try to stop you if you want to date another guy. It’s not fair of me to ask you to be single.”
“When all this is over, is there a chance that you and I could be together?” I ask.
“I think so,” he says.
“Then you’re worth waiting for.”
I run back towards the dorms, knowing he’s following me.
Hate me.
Later that night, I find myself standing outside, watching the snow fall.
It’s a very early snow for this area, so everybody says. It’s only mid October. Yet, here it is, snowing. I watch the big flakes come down around me, and it makes me miss home. I love the snow.
“I love snow,” I tell Tristan, as I spin around in circles with my arms open wide.
He laughs. “You’re crazy.”
“Does it snow much in Tennessee?” I ask, when I stop spinning. I grab onto his arm to keep from falling over.
“Not in my area. Some, but not often,” he answers. “And I have never seen it snow this early in the year.”
“Katerina.”
Oh, no. This is going to be bad.
I turn around and see Damon standing behind me and he does not look happy.
“Hey,” I say, timidly.
“Do you care to explain?” he asks, looking between Tristan and me.
“Um… I’m just enjoying the snow,” I say. “Can’t go anywhere without him. He’s my bodyguard.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it,” he says, not keeping his voice down.
A crowd starts to form around us. Everybody has been waiting on this showdown for a while and nobody wants to miss it.
“You kissed him,” Damon says.
“I did,” I answer, knowing there is no sense in trying to deny it. A lot of people witnessed the kiss, including Dean Bello. And if it’s up to me, I will kiss him again in the hopefully near future.
Damon flinches at my confession, and I can tell how much it hurts him.
Now I feel bad.
Really bad.
I’m a horrible person.
“Did I mean nothing to you? You couldn’t even wait twenty four hours after our break up to kiss somebody else?” he asks, then hesitates before continuing. “Do you have feelings for him?”
I want to tell him that it was just a kiss. Nothing more. I want to say that I only kissed him because of the notes and the stares. But I can’t do that. How I feel about Tristan is real. I have to be honest with him.
“I care about you, Damon. And I never wanted to hurt you,” I say, choosing my words carefully.
“Answer my question. Do… you… have feelings… for Tristan?” Damon’s face is red. He is really, really mad. Which, I guess
, is better than sad.
Tristan, who has remained silently behind me, steps up beside me. “It was me. I kissed her.”
Damon looks from me to Tristan. “Why would you kiss her?”
Why did he have to make it sound like such an insult? Like I’m not good enough for Tristan to kiss me.
Tristan narrows his eyes. “You’re kidding right? Because she’s beautiful.”
I take a deep breath to try and keep myself from smiling.
But, seriously.
Tristan just called me beautiful!
“You’re too old for her,” Damon says.
“I’m a senior. She’s a junior,” Tristan responds, because there is a crowd around us.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Damon says, then looks at me. “Katerina, answer my question. Do you have feelings for him?”
“Yes,” I answer, even though I know it will hurt Damon’s feelings. I’m not going to lie to him. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“So last night, the trip to Tennessee, all of it… you two have been dating this whole time?” he asks.
“No,” I answer. “Nothing ever happened until today.”
“I thought you were falling in love with me,” he says, his voice breaking.
“Damon, I told you I was falling in like with you,” I say. “Not love. Besides, it never would’ve worked out between us. My family… and your family… we’re nothing alike.”
“How do I stop loving you?” Damon asks, finally looking me in the eyes.
“Love?” I ask. “You love me?”
“I fell in love with you the night I met you. And I know you say love is something that happens over a period of time, but you’re wrong, Katerina. Since the moment I laid eyes on you, I gave you my whole heart,” he says. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to move on from this. What we had is something that only comes along once in a lifetime.”
“I am sorry,” I say, feeling horrible. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
I’ve never had to apologize so much in my life. And here I am, apologizing twice in one day. How did I become such a screw up at life.
“How am I supposed to see you with him?” Damon asks.
“We’re not together,” Tristan says. “We’re not going to be. You of all people should know what’s at stake. I can’t risk her safety.”
The crowd around us starts to mummer loudly, as they watch the exchange. I’m sure they’re curious what Tristan’s words mean.
“Then why couldn’t you have let her be with me?” Damon asks. “I would have treated her good and you know it.”
“Katerina can date who she wants. She made the decision to break up with you,” Tristan says.
“He’s right,” I tell Damon. “Please, don’t be mad at Tristan. Be mad at me. Hate me. I deserve it.”
“You don’t get it,” he says. “I can’t hate you. I wish I could. I want to hate you. But I’m still in love with you. How pathetic does that make me?”
Without another word, he turns and walks away, leaving me to stand there, feeling like crap.
“It’s not your fault,” Tristan says to me, talking softly so the others around us can’t hear. They are all starting to spread out now, away from us. Now that the fight is over and there was no blood shed, they’re uninterested.
“I didn’t know,” I tell him. “I should have.”
I should have noticed all the times that Damon was jealous of Tristan. The signs were always there.
I should have noticed the way my heart would always skip whenever Tristan and I touched each other.
I should have noticed that while I was supposed to be falling for Damon, I was falling for Tristan.
Love can be rather cruel. It doesn’t care if you can’t be together. It doesn’t care if literally everything in the world is keeping you apart and telling you that you don’t belong with each other. It just consumes you and makes you think of nothing else but that one person.
Tristan and I may be completely, one hundred percent wrong for each other.
But I can’t help it.
Tristan is saying something else to me, but I can’t hear him over the sound of my heart. It’s beating so fast and so hard. My heart has known this whole time. The problem is, my head is just now catching up.
I am completely in love with Tristan Thomas.
This can not be happening.
SIX
Why does bad stuff always happen to me?
Damon has ignored me since Monday.
Tristan has too, for that matter. He refuses to talk to me about anything other than school or his assignment. He’s even been sending me a bodyguard most afternoons. I try to tell myself that he’s not trying to avoid me, but I know he is.
Damon’s bodyguards kind of hate me now.
Maybe hate is a strong word, but they’re definitely not happy with me. I finally asked one of the bodyguards, Marcus, why he hates me. He said Damon has been in a terrible mood all week. And if Damon’s in a bad mood, they’re all in a bad mood, which is just perfect.
Friday night, I decide that I need to get out of my dorm room. So I tell Tristan he can either leave campus with me or I’m going by myself. He then proceeded to ask how I would leave, because he wouldn’t give me permission. Then I told him that I would sneak out and leave my phone behind. He agreed to go with me then. I think he was scared that I would follow through on the threat. And to be honest, I probably would have.
So here we are, sitting at the Russian restaurant he took me to a few weeks ago. It wasn’t that long ago that we were here, but it feels like forever.
The problem is, even though Tristan is sitting across from me, he’s still not speaking to me. At least not really. He’s making small talk, which is not like him. At all.
“…It was awesome.”
I only catch the end of what he was saying.
“I’m sorry?” I ask.
“Did you not hear anything I just said?” he asks.
I shake my head.
He doesn’t say anything, he just takes another bite of his food.
“I don’t want to play twenty questions with you,” I say. “I hate small talk.”
“Well, I can’t talk to you, Katerina,” he says. “You do funny things to my heart. And if I start talking, I’m scared I will share things with you that I shouldn’t. I don’t know what you want me to do.”
I want you to love me. Or at least be my friend. Because I hate where we are right now.
I don’t say it out loud.
The door to the restaurant opens, but I don’t look up. I just look at the half-finished food on my plate. It’s good food, but I just can’t eat right now.
“Kat,” I hear.
I look up to see Alik standing in front of me. I jump up and throw my arms around him, because I am so unbelievably happy to see my big brother here that I don’t even care why he’s here.
“I have missed you,” I say into his chest.
His grip tightens around me.
“I missed you too,” he says.
“Katerina, who is this?” Tristan asks, now standing up.
I back away. “This is my brother, Alik.”
Alik frowns. “Who is this loser?”
“He’s…”
Tristan cuts me off. “I’m her boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” Alik asks, then looks at me. “But he’s American.”
“I know. But I like him,” I say.
Alik looks back at Tristan. “If you hurt her, I will kill you.”
My dad has already threatened him with that one.
Tristan doesn’t even flinch.
“What are you doing here, Alik?” I ask, trying to get the attention away from Tristan. I do not want to see the two of them fight, because I have a feeling they’re both pretty equal in strength. It would be a scary fight.
“I came to find you,” he says. “Things back home are crazy and I just… I need you to come home.”
“Wh
at?” I ask. “Why? What’s going on?”
“A lot,” he says, letting out a sigh. “Elana and Dimitri broke off their engagement. Right after that, Elana was kidnapped. Nobody knows where she is.”
“Oh, my gosh. Poor Dimitri.”
“That’s not all,” he says. “Mum left Dad. I can’t find her, Kat. She’s just missing. And Dad doesn’t seem to care at all. He’s just been throwing himself into his work and he’s hardly ever home. Dimitri started working with Dad and they’ve been really secretive lately. I dropped out of college and I don’t know what to do. Nothing makes sense. And I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” I tell him, because I have.
I miss Alik like crazy.
“What do you mean Elizabeth left Mikhail?” Tristan asks, looking a little pale.
“What’s his deal?” Alik asks me. “Your boyfriend is weird.”
“I’m serious,” Tristan says, stepping closer to Alik. “I need you to tell me everything you know.”
Alik gives me a look that lets me know he’s about to lose his temper. “Is this guy serious?”
“Tristan,” I say, my voice firm. “What are you doing to my brother?”
He turns to look at me. “Your mom wouldn’t leave your dad. It’s important for her to stay with him. I need to know if Alik actually saw her leave. Because maybe your dad found something and…”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, but I know exactly what he’s insinuating.
Maybe he knows that my mum knows the truth.
And maybe he killed her.
I turn to Alik, desperation coursing through my body with every beat of my heart. I’m praying that nothing has happened to my mum.
“Alik, did you see her leave?” I ask.
Please.
“No,” he answers. “She just sent me an email while I was away at school. She said she was going to London to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a little while.”
Tears begin to fill my eyes.
“If he hurt her, I swear I will kill him,” I tell Tristan.
“Hurt who? What is going on?” Alik asks. “Kat, you’re talking crazy right now.”
Fame (New Hope Academy Book 3) Page 4
