by H. J. Bellus
Miles rolls down his window as he revs up his engine and we hear a couple men who watched the fight start laughing and say, “Dude! A puppy just kicked Grey’s ass.”
Miles flies out of the parking lot, sending gravel sailing in every direction.
“Are you mad at me?”
“No, baby,” I respond, and lay my hand on his leg. “But I do want to know why you’re such a good fighter and why you had to fight for grocery money.”
“Not today. Just know I love you, no matter what happens, crazy girl.”
Chapter 10
Miles Comes Back
Miles
She wants to know where I’m going. My piss poor excuses of business or helping a friend have long expired. My Willow wants answers, and I can’t give them to her because I’ll break her heart and lose her forever. Hell, I’ll break her heart, soul, and confidence, ripping her back down to the shell of nothingness she was when I met her. But the little persistent shit thinks she needs to know. Willow actually has the nerve to believe I’m going off to be with another lover or to visit a secret child of mine. I would never allow her to believe such bullshit.
“Fuck,” I roar out as I slam my hand down onto the steering wheel.
I whip the Mustang around and head back to The Shop. She’s my one fortune I’m not willing to give away. She’s right about one thing, there is another woman. I can’t stand the thought of Willow hurting because she thinks I’m with another woman or a hidden family. She’s about to be slapped with the vile truth of my life, which will unveil all my insecurities and fears. It will be her decision to stay or go. All I know is that we both need a different kind of love, and we’re so fucking close to finding it together.
***
Willow
“Why are you crying?” asked Lacey as she enters the shop with Rose contentedly perched on her hip.
“I am not crying,” I grit out between my teeth.
“Weewee you ki,” chirps little Mac, who has followed in after his momma.
Oh just freaking fantastic! A whole carnival of onlookers to watch my meltdown after Miles left. I didn’t completely lie, because I hadn’t been crying. In fact, I was sobbing, ugly sobbing. Sobbing so hard that I felt my newly healed heart begin to crack again.
I allowed Miles access into my life as a friend, or as he would say, get your sexy back coach, only to have him leave me whenever he needed to. Unlike Greyson, I refuse to allow Miles to abuse my heart. I demanded answers and he left. He left. Just left me standing in The Shop begging for him to open up to me. So, yes, I had been sobbing.
“Don’t you dare lie to us, Willow. For shit’s sake, let us help you, “Milly demands as she grabs my shoulders and shakes me.
“Lemon bars.” I offer the tray to Lacey, knowing they will clearly throw her off task.
“For the love of all things mothertrucking holy, shit yes,” Lacey said, as she plopped Rose on the counter with her.
“Lacey!” Milly bellows as she snatches the lemon bars from under Lacey’s mouth.
“Give me those back now, you little hooch,” Lacey screams.
As if this was a normal occasion, little Mac’s and Rose’s heads bobbled back and forth between their screaming moms. Rose starts clapping along with her head bobbing, and Mac climbs the stool to snag one of Milly’s lemon bars. The boy is so adorable and sneaky. I nudged the plate a little closer to help his clumsy, pudgy fingers get a piece of gooey sweetness. Mac snatched himself a lemon bar, and I couldn’t resist him a second longer, so I scoop him up in my arms.
After ten minutes of listening to the two twatties going at it, I had enough.
“Enough. Shut up already.”
“Sut ups,” Mac chimed, as he sprayed a shower of lemon bar crumbs into the air.
Now I have their attention, so I might as well get the ugly truth out and move on with my life.
“Miles leaves every couple of weeks and stays away for days at a time. He won’t tell me what he’s doing or who he’s doing. He lies to me about it, I just know it. He won’t let me in. I just begged him and he left me. I’ve let it slip the last couple months, but now I’m done.” I let it out all in one breath, and then allow the sobs to take over once again.
If I survive this loss, I’ll be able to survive anything, that’s the one fact I’m sure of.
“Oh, Willow, I’m so sorry. Do you think you’re going to, uh, you know, go back to…” Milly rambled. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I’m just sorry.”
“Jesus, Milly. She didn’t just tell us she’s dying. Sometimes you even creep me out and that takes a lot. She just lost her mancandy playtoy, that’s all. Willow is a certified hoochie and has her family to fall back on, so just shut the fuck up, Milly.”
A silence settles over all of us. I put Mac on the ground and he takes off to find his basket of toys that are nestled in the corner. At this point, there are no words or actions to help me out of this situation.
Ding!
“Cowboy up, bitches, and put on your pretty faces, because we have a customer,” Lacey says in her best sheriff voice.
Milly rolls her eyes and a small chuckle escapes. I just might survive this mess with those two dipshits in my life.
Always the business woman, Milly jumps up to greet the customer and I go back to work on my cake.
Her chipper little voice rings out through The Shop, “How can I—” Then immediate dead silence fills the space. There is never silence in The Shop or anywhere my family resides. A chill of the unexpected creeps its way up my spine, along with a bout of sheer uneasiness. What had my girls speechless? It takes every ounce of courage in me to pry my head up to see who it is. My heart desperately knew who it wanted it to be, but my head blurted out the cold hard truth, “You’re not worth loving forever.”
Milly clears her throat and I finally find the courage to peek up. Miles. It was my Miles. My heart was right, but how could it be? Tears come again, along with panic, pain, and the dread of the inevitable.
Miles doesn’t speak, instead he pounds his way to me with a determined, pissed off look on his face. Then the bastard has the nerve to grab me by the ass to hoist me up. My legs wrap around his center out of fear of eating shit and my arms wrap around his neck.
He knows this was my fantasy. A hot man to storm in and pick me up, and he just made it happen. I knew the man was my prince. I squeezed my eyes shut and let the tears continue to flow because the inevitable good bye was coming, and coming way too fast.
“Look at me,” he demands.
I obey his command, and pray like hell he wasn’t going to ruin my chances of a happy ever after with him.
“Do you trust me? That’s all I need to know. It is a yes or no answer, baby girl.”
Frozen with fear, I do not respond.
“Do you fucking trust me?”
I look into his eyes and take the gamble of my life, “No, but I love you, Miles. I love you with everything I am—I can’t help it. I love you.”
“That’ll do, then,” Miles says.
I wait for a few moments to hear his expression of love, but it never comes. I’ve heard it before, but need it now like never before.
“Go pack your bags. We’re leaving for a week,” he finally says.
I press my lips to his just for one tiny taste. For weeks now I have laid claim to them whenever I wanted, and now I officially own them.
The taste of Miles is the most delicious poison I have ever tasted, and being a glutton for punishment, a quick peck wouldn’t do. Miles opens himself up to me, giving me full access to explore his mouth. During my third travel over his sensitive tongue, a low rumble travels from him. Miles pulls back and whispers, “High boner alert” into my mouth. I giggle and the tension from Miles’ face finally fades away into the air. The familiar happy Miles just reappeared in front of me.
He sits me down and says, “Go pack, baby.”
This is the first time in my life that I’m not going to overanalyze the situation,
or dwell on the fact Miles didn’t say those three words back. I have to let go of my sick sense of control. I have to let go just enough to explore life outside my safe bubble of family and small town life. I have to learn to let go, so with a slap to Miles’ ass I start to make my way to grab some clothes from his apartment.
Miles snags me by the waist and snuggles up against my back then rests his chin on my shoulder.
“Holy boner alert, batman,” I squeal as his hardness rubs up against my rear.
Miles chuckles his deep laugh and then whispers into my ear, “I also forgot to give you your daily fortune. Trust me, it’s a good one.”
Miles slides me my fortune cookie, nestles deep down in my neck and then says, “I can’t give you everything until you know it all about me. Baby, you have to know that you’re my everything. My everything I wake up to, my everything I breathe to survive, and my everything that I want forever.”
Commence panty melt. This is my story, and I’m going to live it with no fears and control issues, so I cup his boner and say, “That’ll do, Sparky, That’ll do.”
“You have five minutes before I change my mind, crazy girl,” he says with a quick thrust of his man parts in my hands.
***
3 Hours Later in the middle of nowhere…
“Why did you come back for me, Miles?”
Miles is silent. His knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel with everything he has.
“Talk to me, Miles,” I plead with everything I have.
“I came back because I want you. I need you,” he says with his eyes solely on the wide open road that lies before us.
I follow his lead and stare at the land before us. This road is my future, as is Miles. I don’t care what he has to tell me, nothing will deter me from him. Just like that obnoxious double yellow line that never gives up on guiding travelers on their journey, I too will never give up on him.
I carefully slide over to the center seat, pull my clear shimmery lip gloss from my bag and apply it. I kiss Miles’ cheek, leaving behind his favorite shimmery imprint. That gets a little grin from my boy. Before tossing my bag in the back seat, I grab our jumbo bag of Skittles from it and plop them in my lap, then I pull on Miles’ black hoodie, covered in his scent. I lay my head on Miles’ shoulder, and let out a loud sigh.
“I’ll wait for you,” I tell him, plain and simple.
Ten very silent and awkward minutes go by. Yes, ten, I have watched each one pass on my phone. Miles slows down Black Beauty and pulls to the side of the road. He drops his head to the steering wheel in defeat then violently slams his fists down on the dashboard.
“Fuck this. I fucking hate life sometimes. Why can’t it ever be simple? You know the house, the white picket fence, and the dog to kick.”
I grab for his closest hand and hold it, “Dammit, Miles! Just talk already. For Christ’s sake, are you a wanted felon, an axe murder, a registered sex offender? What is it? What’s so bad that you’re torturing yourself?”
Miles finally picks his head up, and the look of sheer terror on his face breaks my heart.
“Miles, you’re hurting me without talking,” I whisper. “And it’s starting to scare me.”
He reaches over for me and pulls me onto his lap. My ass lands on the horn, so Miles carefully readjusts our bodies. We both can’t help from letting out a little giggle at the sight of us and the sound of the horn.
“Just think of the boner you could pop in this position,” I tease him, and then I place a kiss on his forehead.
I remove both his hands from my ass and interlock our fingers together. Our fingers fit together perfectly. Every time we hold hands, I’m just that much more convinced that we were created for each other. My lips kiss each one of his knuckles, and by the tenth I tell him, “Just hold my hand, Miles.”
“Willow, you were right—there is another woman in my life.”
Those words steal my breath away, but I don’t allow my body to flinch or take flight.
“Unclench your butt cheeks—it’s my mom. She’s dying. She’s an awful rotten human being, but she’s my mom. Her name is Sarah, and I should hate her, but I don’t. It’s my job to take care of her. Willow, you have to promise to still love me after this.”
Without hesitation, I whisper, “I promise.”
Still holding his hands, he continues. “I grew up in a trailer park. I was born in Nevada. My mom moved us to California when I was five. We moved there to be with her boyfriend of the month. He dumped her shortly after we arrived, and she found another and then another one. Our trailer was the revolving door for men, drugs, and alcohol.”
Miles takes a slight pause, and without thinking, I ask, “What does any of this have to do with us or you mysteriously leaving every couple weeks?”
“I came to The Shop that day looking for Milly,” he quietly whispers.
I’m not sure why, but my body starts to produce tears that leak down my face. I grip on tighter to his hands, a silent signal to him that I’m not letting go. I’m holding his hand.
“Why?” I whisper.
“I came for her, but found you, Willow. I found you. I’ve been used by everyone in my life. I have been beat like a dog by my mom’s endless boyfriends. I fought to survive every day of my life until I met you. Jesus Christ, babe, I fought in backyards to make money just to eat. Willow, you take away all that pain and show me what normal life looks like, but the cold hard truth is that I’m the boy from the wrong side of the tracks who was raised in the trailer park, and I don’t deserve you or this life.”
My tears spill harder, if that’s even possible. Miles gently wipes away the tears one at a time.
“Why Milly?” I whisper again.
“She’s my sister.”
“She’s your what? No, it can’t be,” I stutter out.
Miles just silently shakes his head.
“You tricked me,” I accuse in utter horror.
Every ounce of betrayal from Greyson comes instantly rushing back into my fragile system. Miles did the same thing to me. He’s a liar and used me to get close to Milly.
“You used me,” I whisper.
“Jesus Christ, Willow. I knew you would do this. Just freak the fuck out without thinking. What the fuck have I used you for? My mom is dying. I’ve had to hear about an elusive sister that I’ve never met my whole life. Had to hear how sorry my mom felt for leaving her. I had to fucking hear about this while being beat and burnt by her countless boyfriends. If bringing her home will help my mom pass on in peace, then I need to do it, and if your petty little brain classifies that as using, then I guess I used you and you need to call your brothers to come rescue you.”
“But why didn’t you tell me earlier and why haven’t you told her?”
“Because for once in my life I was living my life and enjoying it my way. I found you and felt happy, like really happy. I’ve always had to be a caregiver and survive on my own until you. And now my past that I have no control over just ruined us.”
Miles reaches into his pocket and hands me his cell phone. “Go ahead and call your brother. I’ll wait here until he picks you up, but please just give me these next couple hours to be with you.”
I take the phone from him and dial Cree’s number. As I wait for him to answer, Miles drops his head to my chest, so I rest my chin on the top of his head.
“Cree, it’s Wils.”
Silence.
“I need to tell you something very important. You remember that time when you told me that I would find a man that was worthy of calling me Wils?”
Silence.
“Well, I found him at mile marker 261 on Hwy 22 today.”
I snap the phone shut and smile.
“You have a lot of issues, Miles, but I’m a better person when I’m with you. If you want Cree to pick up my petty little brain, you have to call him yourself.”
Miles slowly picks up his head. I grab both sides of his face, placing my fingers on his scruff. The scruff
that I have fantasized about petting and licking while Miles lies naked in front of me for weeks now, and I just smile at him.
“You’re not leaving?” he whispers.
“Miles, I choose you. I want to be with you. Hold your hand. Watch you eat Cap’n Crunch in your tighty whities. We can work through the rest, Miles. You are my sweet, sweet boy.”
“Why didn’t you tell him?”
“It’s not my place. You’ll do it when we get back.”
“They’re gonna hate me after I tell them, you know?”
“Possibly. But I have faith in my family. They may get upset, but they’ll accept you.”
“They’ll never forgive me.”
“Forgive you for what? Being born to a shitty mother, and having a horrible childhood? Miles, you have done nothing wrong, baby. I love you, and I’m here forever.”
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he whispers into my mouth as he places his lips on mine.
I melt. Instantly melt into Miles, allowing him to devour my mouth. His lips are soft and delicious, and his scruff is strangely comforting rubbing against my tender skin. Miles deepens the kiss and enters my mouth with his tongue. A low groan escapes him when he does. The sound is hot and full of need. My hips instantly start to dance in his lap.
I bite down on his bottom lip and growl into his mouth. “Baby, I can feel that boner.”
Miles doesn’t slow down. His tongue slides right back into my mouth and doesn’t miss a beat. He continues worshiping my mouth one lick and flick at a time. This time, I let out a sensual groan as I begin to explore his mouth. Miles’ large rough hands sneak into my shirt and run the length of my back. My senses are on overdrive with his touch, honesty, and tongue.
I can’t handle one more throb of pleasure from this man without combusting. I throw my head back, thrust my breasts forward, and let out a loud, exhausting groan of pleasure. Miles bucks his hips up, meeting my wet core. I can feel every inch of his desire pressing against me, hard and ready. He reaches forward and bites down hard on my breast through my shirt.
