by Ben Ryder
“Oh, Arnold is really good with that sort of stuff. He’s the entertainment software guy working at the arena. I’m sure if I ask him, he’ll do it for you. He owes me a few favors,” Amy interjected.
Owes you a few favors? Callum thought to himself as he returned his beer to the table. “Sure, no problem. I’ll hook it all up for you,” Callum said casually, as if the decision had already been made and any further mention of Arnold would be ignored.
“I’ve always loved Niagara-on-the-Lake,” Amy said dreamily. “It’s so beautiful. I used to go there when I was a little girl. It seems like forever since I’ve visited, which is such a shame.”
Jesus Christ, could you be any more fucking obvious? Callum thought as he waited for Noah to take the bait and invite her along. He looked at Amy, with her perky tits, long blonde hair, and her bimbo routine and, just for a moment, hated Noah for falling for it.
“You should go up there sometime. It’s damn cold this time of the year, but the summers are amazing,” Noah said, without even a hint she would be included.
“I don’t mind the cold,” she protested. “In fact, I’ve considered buying a place up there for myself. Perhaps we could get together and you can give me some real estate advice?”
“Actually, I could probably go one better and give you my realtor’s number. He’s pretty good and should be able to answer any questions you have.”
Callum could see Amy’s mind working overtime, trying to find another angle.
“So are you okay leaving Saturday morning? It shouldn’t take all day,” Noah asked.
Callum nodded and, with an amount of relish, watched Amy’s face fall. Even she knew when to stop.
Chapter Six
11:32 a.m. C ALLUM looked for a place to take cover as the heavens opened. He recognized his intended shelter the moment he saw the red grapes painted on the black sign swaying in the wind. Stompers, the premier gay wine bar in the area, was usually packed with the more affluent gay men of London at night. But now, it was filled with businessmen looking for a boozy lunch during the day.
Callum shook the rain off his jacket and ordered a Coke from the stocky but well-dressed barman. He looked around and saw nothing much had changed since he and his best friend of ten years had frequented the bar in their early twenties. They’d enjoyed so many nights laughing, talking of lovers, and discussing their careers at this bar before they headed out to dance the night away at the nearby nightclubs.
Callum took his phone from his pocket to text his friend to let him know he was there and reminiscing about the good times. He stopped halfway through the first sentence of the message. They hadn’t spoken in six months. He lamented the loss of contact, especially now. His best friend would have been one of the only people in the world who could have accomplished the impossible and distracted him today, all morning if he had to. He could come up with some crazy plan that would have had Callum laughing the hours away or would have put his mind at ease with his no-nonsense, no-holds-barred brand of advice.
But that was before his friend met his new partner, who slowly pushed Callum and their circle of friends out of his life. Callum hated seeing his once independent, gregarious friend slowly become more withdrawn and increasingly controlled by this stranger. At times, Callum even suspected physical abuse in the relationship, but any questions were met with laughter and denial. Callum finally confronted his friend over his change of personality, but his friend defended his partner, like he had done so many times before. Though the argument hadn’t officially ended their friendship, all communication had stopped.
Callum looked at the name on his phone again. He tried to shake the feeling that he was mourning the loss of someone who was still there, but he missed his friend very much.
“W HATthe hell did you expect?” Noah asked as he laughed at Callum, who was trying to walk with an armful of chopped wood.
“I didn’t know I was here to do manual labor. I’m a tech guy, not a bloody lumberjack!” Callum called behind him as he reached the front porch of the cabin. “You’ve just spent thousands of dollars on a new entertainment system. Invest in a gas fireplace, man!”
Noah caught up and effortlessly dropped his larger bundle of wood on the pile. “That hardly suits country living, does it?”
“And 200 channels, Internet, and a Blu-ray system all scream ‘log cabin on a lake’?”
“What can I say? I like my luxuries.” He surveyed their progress. “I think one more load should do it.” “Fine, but you’re chopping it. I’ve already cut enough wood to make a beaver jealous and my shoulder is beginning to hurt.”
Noah raised his hand to Callum’s shoulder and massaged it with a couple of squeezes. “You okay?”
Callum had a love/hate relationship with Noah’s casual touches. They sent chills up his spine that thrilled him, but they also added to the consuming frustration he felt. The unintentional teases had Callum’s whole body aching to be with Noah.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I pulled a muscle swinging the axe.” “I don’t just mean your shoulder. You were a little quiet on the drive up here. I didn’t ask about it because you looked like you had something on your mind. You know you can talk to me about it, whatever it is, right?”
“Thanks, but I’m okay. I was just tired, that’s all. I didn’t get a great deal of sleep last night.” “Nightmares?”
“Nah, just a sad dream.”
“Well, glad to hear it’s nothing serious. You’re a much better laugh when you’re awake.” Callum found a nearby log to sit on and folded his arms for warmth as he watched Noah take an axe to the wood. As he swung, his thick, knitted sweater raised, showing a flash of his taut stomach.
Even your damn navel is a turn on , Callum thought as he imagined licking the dark trail of hair that led to the waist of Noah’s unbelted jeans.
Callum snapped back to reality and forced his thoughts to return to the present. “So what made you buy this place?” Noah stopped swinging the axe and let out an exhausted breath. “I wanted somewhere to get away that was isolated, somewhere I could relax and not have to be worrying about anything.”
“Worry?” “You know, just come away and be me. Plus, this place reminds me of being a kid. I grew up in Vancouver and my family had a cabin on Bowen Island, just across the bay. Actually, that’s where I learned how to play hockey. Every winter the pond would freeze over and my three older brothers would slide across the ice without skates and play games with the local kids. My parents would have freaked if they ever found out.” Noah shook his head and sighed. “I tagged along with them like a shadow and threatened to tell on them if they didn’t let me join in. I was only seven or eight years old and all I wanted in life was to be like my big brothers.”
“They must be proud of you now.” “They are. It’s strange, though. Now they tell me they want to be just like me.” Noah shook his head again, a little slower this time, then added, “They haven’t got a clue that I’ve spent the last few years wanting to be like them again.”
“What do you mean?” Callum asked, perplexed. Noah buried the axe into the trunk he’d been using as a platform to chop the wood and sat on a log next to Callum. “Hockey is my life. I live, sleep, and breathe for the game. It’s part of who I am. I just wish I didn’t have to deal with all the other stuff that playing professionally brings with it,” Noah said. Callum watched his breath smoke as it hit the cold air. “Everything is up in the air at the moment. The first part of my contract is up in a few weeks. They can either decide to let me go, extend it for another three years with the Bobcats, or sell it to another team. Though selling my contract is unlikely.”
“But if your contract is extended, doesn’t that option make things continue as they are?” “Yes, but I can’t be 100 percent sure that will happen. One of my teammates walked into coach’s office a few weeks ago and saw a load of stuff about the New York Warriors on the desk. When coach saw him looking at it, he apparently quickly covered it up to get it out of s
ight. Ever since then we’ve noticed he’s acted weird every time the team is mentioned. Almost gets flustered. It has us all worried.”
“Why?” “The Warriors are one of the best known teams around, but they’ve had a few bad seasons. They have a lot of big star players who bring in a hell of a lot of revenue. There’s a rumor going around that one of them is looking to leave and go to another team that’s winning more games and offering more money. He may have approached the Bobcats, since we’re pretty high in the rankings. With the new arena and the success of the team, we’re an attractive option. But if he comes to the Bobcats, it means that one of us will have to go to make room for him. And my contract is the next up for renewal.”
“Wow, that sounds really frustrating. Do you think there’s a chance it could happen?” Callum asked. “I don’t know for sure how true any of it is. Any player would be crazy to leave the New York Warriors. The prestige of playing for them is priceless. But, then again, some players are greedy and love to be on a winning team.”
Callum nodded his agreement before Noah added, “Anyway, enough about that. I can’t say what’s going to happen. How are you enjoying it here, by the way? Canada, I mean.”
“Yeah, I like it. Toronto seems like a great place, and I never would’ve imagined somewhere like this to be so close to the city,” Callum said, looking out to the sun-dazzled water only yards away. He took out his phone and held the view of the lake on the screen.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Noah said as he pulled at the axe in the stump and walked in front of Callum. “Can you take one of me? This’ll be the first ever photo I’ve had up here.” He rested the axe on his shoulder and posed casually for the shot. Callum snapped a few pictures and then showed them to Noah, who nodded his approval.
“Glad you like them, Mr. Big Shot. Now, grab some of these logs and make a fire before I freeze my arse off!” Callum demanded with a laugh.
Half an hour later, Noah had a fire roaring and warmth filled the cabin. Once Callum declared he could feel his fingers again, they began to unbox the entertainment system.
“This may as well be in Chinese for all I can make of it,” said Noah. “You funny man,” Callum said as he looked over and saw Noah was, indeed, staring at the Chinese instructions for the flat screen TV. “I’ll make you a deal. You teach me the basics of hockey and I’ll teach you the basics of setting up equipment like this.”
“Deal,” said Noah. “But don’t blame me if I blow this whole thing up.”
They set up the system while Callum briefly explained the purpose of HDMI and coaxial cables, audio inputs and outputs, and subwoofer connections. Noah, in return, explained the positions of players and strategies of the game using the top of an empty box as the rink and a bag of gas station gummy bears as players. In the end, neither understood much more of what the other had said, but Noah had a complete home theater system and Callum had a belly full of gummy bears.
Once they finished the setup, they both sat back on the sofa, which Noah explained was the only piece of furniture, other than the wooden coffee table, that was left by the cabin’s previous owners.
“It’s hot as hell in here,” Noah said, taking a couple of beers out of the cooler and opening them.
“It’s a log cabin! We may as well be in an oversized sauna.”
“Sorry about that. The wood was drier than I thought,” Noah said, handing both beers to Callum, leaving his hands free to pull off his sweater. He hooked the sweater over his head, raising the white T-shirt underneath. Callum stole another look at his muscled stomach. “A few beers should cool us down.”
They sat back on the sofa, and for the next three hours Callum took Noah through the numerous options and features on his new entertainment system with the help of five different remote controls.
“You’re a good guy, Callum,” Noah said warmly. They were both a little buzzed, as they’d been drinking beer steadily throughout the tutorial. The television was playing an old black-and-white movie on mute while the sounds of Coldplay streamed from the stereo and echoed through the nearly empty room. They both sat back with their socked feet crossed on the coffee table. “I’m really pleased I met you. It’s nice I can be myself around you.”
Callum stayed silent and a surge of guilt ran through him. Callum thought of Noah as a buddy, but knew the level of attachment was much more one-sided. No good would come of telling Noah he was gay, and Callum hated the idea of being rejected as a friend. He might no longer have Noah’s company, though he knew he enjoyed that company far more than he should.
But the beer also amplified his guilt. He’d lived an open life and had never been ashamed of who he was. Was it fair not to give Noah the chance to accept him as he was? He had proven himself to be a good guy. Didn’t he deserve to know? But was it worth the risk?
Noah knocked his knee against Callum’s. “Hey, you there?”
“Yeah, I’m here,” Callum said softly, almost sadly. He took another swig of beer. He settled farther into the cushions of the sofa and stared at his beer bottle. “I’m glad I met you too, Noah. I really am.”
“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?” Noah asked, looking confused.
“It kills me that you said that you can be yourself around me, because I haven’t quite been myself around you.”
“Why? What do you mean?”
“Noah, there’s something you should know.” Callum sighed before the words came out. “I’m gay.”
Noah cocked an eyebrow. “So there really is a ‘butt’ coming?” He laughed at his own joke for a moment, but stopped when he saw the seriousness in Callum’s eyes. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m gay, Noah. I don’t really know why I haven’t told you sooner. For what it’s worth, I feel shitty that I didn’t. It’s not something I’m ashamed of. In fact, if anything, I’m the proud gay man everyone refers to. I know I haven’t known you long, but I really do regard you as a friend, so I thought you should know.”
Noah furrowed his eyebrows and looked confused. “No, I don’t understand why you’re telling me like I didn’t already know.”
“You knew?”
“Of course I did. What, you mean you didn’t know I knew?”
“But I never said—”
“I assumed that joke you told about the Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman was your way of coming out to me. The Englishman asked for ten years supply of Playgirl? There’s me thinking ‘that’s a very clever way to tell me’”—he laughed—“and you didn’t even realize you’d said it by mistake?”
“I didn’t say Playboy?” Callum asked incredulously. He leaned forward and pulled his feet off the coffee table as he slapped his hand on his forehead. “I didn’t tell you because I was worried you might have a problem with it!”
Noah shook his head as if it might help the jumbled thoughts rattling in his head find the right slots. “Me? Of course not. Wait. You mean you haven’t figured out I am too?”
Callum dropped his bottle onto the coffee table in shock. His nervous and clumsy hands felt out of control as he tried to stand the bottle upright while the beer poured across the table. He didn’t know where to look or what to say until he felt Noah rest a hand on his shoulder.
“You really didn’t know?” “I had no idea.” Callum scrambled to contain the mess on the table to hide his shock.
“Leave that, Callum.”
“But it’s going to run onto your floor,” Callum said, looking around nervously to find something with which to wipe the table. He was hoping to buy some time, some precious seconds to compose himself. He needed time to think about what to say or do, but his head was spinning too fast to figure it out.
Noah pulled off his T-shirt and ran it across the beer, mopping up the stream before it reached the end of the table. Callum stopped in his tracks. It was the first time he had seen Noah shirtless, and he was even more beautiful than Callum had imagined. Noah’s body was thickset, like his skin had been laid over perfectly cut sl
abs of meat. The dark hair on his chest tapered to a thick trail down his stomach, only to widen again below the navel Callum had lusted over earlier. Finally, he could see the top of the tattoo that stretched across his broad shoulders and down his muscled arm. It was a black-and-gray image of God blowing wind on intricately designed angels and demons.
“Fuck, you’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?” Callum said, instantly regretting his words. He didn’t know whether Noah just meant he was happy to have a gay friend, or if there was a chance he wanted more. Callum suddenly became very self-conscious.
Noah laughed again and shook his head in disbelief. “We were always in the gym! I thought you were being discreet in case someone overheard us. The only other time I saw you outside of our workouts was at the arena or when we were out with that man-eater, Amy.”
“You invited her!” “I thought she was a friend of yours! I didn’t want you to think I was being rude when she obviously wanted to come. Trust me, I would have much preferred for us to be on our own.”
Once again, Callum didn’t know what to make of this. Noah could have meant that he just wanted somewhere to talk alone or possibly that he viewed it the same way Amy had: as a date.
“Does anyone else know?” Callum asked.
“A couple of my very good friends know, ones who I’ve known for years and I can trust. Other than that, no, I’m still pretty much in the sports closet.”
“Yeah,” Callum said, still in shock. “I guess that’s understandable.” Noah gave a noncommittal bounce of his head from side to side. They sat in silence for a moment.
Noah arched his back and Callum saw pain shoot across his face.
