by Ben Ryder
Callum heard the muffled noise of Noah bounding across the bedroom and through the en suite bathroom door. He took Amy by the elbow and pulled her to the sofa.
“Sit down and shut the fuck up,” he growled. He walked through the bedroom and saw Noah bent over the toilet, his face red and his eyes already beginning to bulge as he dry wretched over the bowl.
“Fuck, no. No!” he said as his eyes streamed.
Callum pulled him gently by his shoulders until he leaned against the sink.
“Don’t worry,” he said firmly. “Let me handle this.” With a look of complete resignation, Noah nodded. Callum walked back into the bedroom and quickly threw on a pair of jeans. When he went back into the living room, he found Amy sitting with her hands gripping the cushioned seat so hard her nails had begun to pierce the thick material.
Amy’s eyes bore into his. He could see her mind was working overtime. Callum calmly walked around her and sat on the armchair opposite her, but never broke her gaze. They sat glaring at each other, neither willing to speak first.
Still looking shaken, and avoiding Amy’s eyes, Noah walked in from the bedroom and sat on the upright leather recliner next to the sofa. Amy’s pinched lips slowly relaxed as she studied them both. Clearly, she’d found her angle.
“Well, it seems that you’ll be helping Arnold after all,” she said with a defiant tone. She crossed her legs and leaned back in triumph.
“No, Amy, I won’t,” Callum said evenly. “If you think I’m going to spend my last two days here dealing with your mess instead of with the man I love, you’re mistaken.”
“Love?” she sneered. “Love? You two are fucking disgusting.”
Noah leaned forward as if to speak, but Callum held up his hand. He turned back to Amy, who wiped her hand across the material of her skirt as if she was casually brushing away lint. She was trying to give the impression she was composed, but Callum could sense that her mind was still ticking over. Finally, with a flick of her hair, she looked up.
“Right, here’s the deal,” she said, putting her fingertips together like a seasoned businesswoman. “Callum, you’re going to help Arnold get the system up and running before the opening of the arena.” Then she turned to Noah. “And since you led me on, I think I’m entitled to some kind of—” She paused as a wry grin crept across her face. “—compensation.”
Callum fought his rising anger and tried to remain as straight-faced as possible. But he knew the bullets he was staring into her gave him away.
“How much do you want?” Noah asked, still shaking from the adrenaline of being caught.
“I’m sure we can come to some kind of, well, let’s say financial settlement. I know you boys get paid a fortune.” She raised her eyebrows and gave Noah a thin-lipped smile. “In return, I won’t tell the owner of the Bobcats that one of his star players is queer.” She gave a mock look of confusion. “Is that the word people use now? Or do I say a ‘homosexual’? I know ‘dirty faggot’ isn’t particularly politically correct. Whatever it is, I’m sure he’ll be interested, especially since your contract could be up in a couple of days. In fact, he’ll probably be as interested as the press and all your adoring fans.” She cocked her head to the side. “Deal?”
The blood drained out of Noah’s face.
“Blackmail, huh? I can’t say I’m surprised,” Callum said, remaining stoic. “But no, I think you’ll keep your mouth shut about this.”
“Okay,” she countered as she rose confidently out of her chair. “I guess we’ll just have to see.” She walked in the direction of the door slowly, as if daring them to call her bluff. Instead, Callum calmly stood and stretched his arm like a gentleman as if to show her the way.
“Do what you have to do, Amy.”
“Don’t worry, I will,” she sneered as she walked past him.
“Callum, what the fuck are you doing?” Noah asked with shock in his voice. Callum again held up his hand to Noah, who was scrambling from his chair as if ready to grab Amy before she could get too far.
“I do hope they believe you, Amy. I mean, it’s your word against ours,” Callum said cheerfully, walking Amy toward the door.
“Oh, trust me. They’ll believe me,” she said with an evil smile. “Well, make sure you tell them before the police and the tax inspectors arrive. They might not find your word so trustworthy.”
Amy spun. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Callum mirrored the smile Amy had given him moments before and leaned his naked back against the cold wall. “Well, you see, I had a little visit from Arnold this afternoon. He was pretty distressed. Looked like he was almost on the verge of a breakdown.”
Amy’s eyes flinched, but she maintained her composure. “He was under the impression that you were the one who negotiated my company’s bid, since you dealt with his company for the entertainment software. Naturally, he assumed I must have been involved in your little scheme.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said quickly. “I think you do, Amy. The $20,000 kickback you got for awarding the entertainment software contract to Tronphonics? Ring any bells?”
Amy was stunned. “So Arnold, who thought that being sworn to secrecy was a way of protecting everyone, turned to me, thinking I knew what was going on. I played dumb and wheedled everything out of him, so he eventually told me the whole story. After all, he thought I was the only one who could get him out of his mess. As you can imagine, I found it all very interesting.”
She was, for once, at a loss for words. Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish as she grasped for a response.
“But what I couldn’t understand was that it seemed such a paltry amount, you know, in the scheme of things. Certainly not an amount worth losing your job over, when I’m sure a woman in your position is paid quite handsomely. And it’s certainly not an amount that could buy you, let’s say expensive jewelry, a convertible BMW, or a log cabin.”
Amy’s eyes didn’t move. “And then I remembered you said you also dealt with some of the construction bids. They must have run into the tens of millions, which would’ve made the kickbacks pretty damn substantial. So when Arnold left, I went into your office and found a file conveniently marked ‘Contract Bids’. Though it didn’t show the amounts, it did show all of the companies involved in bidding for the work. I hope you don’t mind, but I made a copy of them, you know, to help out the investigators.”
“Who have you told?” she asked, now physically shaking, giving herself away. “No one, yet. I mean, there are so many people I have to inform, I don’t know where to begin. There are the police units that deal with fraud. Then the tax office, because, let’s face it, it’s not as if you’d be stupid enough to declare any of that money. Then, of course, there’s Taylorfield, who I’ll have to sit down with, as I’m sure they’ll want to investigate every single company you dealt with and contact the ones who lost out on the bids.”
Callum turned to Noah. “Actually, Noah, maybe our last couple of days won’t be spent together. I have a hell of a lot of people to talk to and so much to tell them.”
He turned back to Amy. “If you go now, you might have the chance to burn all your credit card statements. No, wait. The police will have full access to them from the credit card company. Never mind.”
Real tears began flowing from her eyes. Scared, frightened tears. “If you run, I am sure you’ll be able to delete any incriminating evidence off your laptop.”
Amy looked as though she was ready to bolt.
“Or at least you could have if you hadn’t left it in your office while you went to your meeting this afternoon with your bosses. Luckily, I had the chance to download the entire hard drive this afternoon. Maybe they’ll need it for evidence in your court case? I presume fraud is a crime for which you can be sent to prison in Canada?”
Now it was Amy’s turn to dry heave. She ran across the kitchen and leaned over the sink. Between the retches echoing off the aluminum, she shouted, “I won’t tell anyone abou
t you and Noah! I swear. I swear!”
Callum moved forward and turned her around so his face was just inches away from hers. He could smell the bile on her breath. “You’re damn right you won’t, because if I get even so much as a hint that you have, I’ll make your life a living fucking hell. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, yes. I swear.”
“As for Arnold, I’ll stand behind him and guide him through what needs to be done. But my fingers aren’t going anywhere near that program. Believe it or not, I want the new arena to succeed because its success has my name and reputation attached to it. But understand, I will throw you under the bus if my name is even mentioned if anything goes wrong or you get caught.”
Callum reached over to his briefcase on the table and brought out his iPhone. He swiped and tapped the screen a few times until Arnold’s voice and the confession played out into the room.
“I don’t care if you resign from your job or stay in it. I’m gone from here in two days and, thankfully, I won’t ever have to see you again. But take a word of advice. If you pull shit like this again, you will get caught. Greedy people like you always do. And if you utter a single word about Noah or approach him after I’ve gone, this recording and every shred of evidence I have will go straight to the police.” Callum stood back and looked at her. “Now get out. You disgust me.”
Amy nodded her head slowly, but left the apartment quickly and quietly, as though she was escaping a serial killer who’d been foolish enough to fall asleep.
Callum joined Noah on the sofa and shook his thigh. “Are you okay?”
Noah got up and paced around the room. “That fucking bitch! She would have done it. She would have gone to the press and to the owner of the team. What the hell would I have told my family? My teammates? The fans?” He was shaking in anger with his fists balled at the end of rigid arms. “That would’ve been it. She would’ve fucking ruined me.”
“But she won’t,” Callum said. He rose to his feet and caught Noah’s chest with his hand to stop him. Noah just knocked through it.
“But she would have! She would have fucking enjoyed it too.”
Callum sat back down and watched Noah. With each minute passed he seemed to become more and more volatile. “Noah, you know I love you,” Callum started, “and I hate to say this, but I think we have to face a few facts.” “What do you mean?” “Think about how you felt when she started shouting that you’re a faggot and when she threatened to go to the press. The idea terrified you.”
Noah sat down and buried his head in his hands. “You’re not ready to come out yet. I know over the past few weeks you’ve become perhaps a little more confident, which is great. But we were still in secret.”
“What do I do? I can’t expect you to live your life in the closet because I have to. I can’t ask you to keep your relationship a secret from the people closest to you just because I’ll start panicking that someone might let it slip.”
“Calm down, Noah. Take this one step at a time. Let’s just see how things go with your contract meeting. If they release you, then you can take some time off and see how you feel about things then.”
“And if they keep me on?”
Callum wasn’t sure how to respond. He didn’t know what they would do if Noah’s contract was renewed. “Look, I know how much hockey means to you, Noah. And I’ve promised you we will do whatever it takes to stay together. Besides, you think there’s a good chance they’ll release you, so we may be worrying about all of this for nothing. This time in a few months, we could be lying on a beach in Rio.”
“But things could change. You might meet someone else. You might change your mind and not want the trouble or the hassles if I stay here.”
“I won’t, Noah. It doesn’t matter whether we’re together now, six months from now, or three years from now. I’ll do whatever and be whoever you need me to be until we start our life together.”
“Promise you won’t give up on me.”
“Never.”
Chapter Thirteen
2:55 p.m. C ALLUM’S phone buzzed in his hand. 1 Unread Message— Noah.
Just finishing up the meeting. I’ll call as soon as I get out of here. I love you.
Callum took the bank notes from his wallet and tossed
them on top of his bill, leaving a generous tip. He double
checked that the rain had stopped before he headed toward
the door. He didn’t need an audience for this.
“Good luck!” the barman called. “I hope it’s the news
you’re waiting for!”
Callum turned and gave an appreciative wave. As he
stood outside the bar, he stared at his phone like an angry
hawk on a mouse.
“Come on!” he shouted at his phone, urging it to ring.
T HE conversation in the car to the airport was like any other that Noah and Callum had shared in the gym. The only difference was that, this time, after every burst of laughter came a sad silence.
The arena opening had been a huge success and Callum watched Noah help the Bobcats to their first win in the new venue. He also watched as the entertainment software ran without a glitch, thanks to the stone-faced advice he’d given Arnold. He’d sat next to Michael Weiss during the game and at the reception after. Knowing he was leaving the next day, Amy eyed him closely all evening, terrified he might expose her at the last minute. Wanting to punish her even more, Callum took advantage each time he saw her staring at him by leaning in to Michael and talking directly into his ear, as if whispering. Callum knew each sharp jab of terror this caused her would be a small reminder of what could come if she ever spoke to anyone about Noah.
“This is tough,” Noah said as Callum prepared to join the line to go through security. “Made even worse by the fact that we have an audience.” His eyes darted over to the line of passengers waiting to go through the metal detectors. Many of them recognized the star hockey player and were staring at him. But from the outside, all they saw was two men awkwardly facing each other, as if they were little more than acquaintances.
“It’s okay,” Callum said with a soft smile, making it clear he understood Noah’s lack of affection in public.
“This may not be for long.”
“It will be for as long as it takes, Noah.”
“My meeting with Howie, the Bobcats’ owner, and our coach is on Friday morning. I promise I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”
“I know you will.”
“Stay positive. I may be released from my contract altogether. Then it’s you and me on a beach in Rio.”
Callum looked at his watch. “I’d better join this line or I’ll miss my flight.” Noah brought his hand up to his face and slid his fingers against his stubble. He looked at the passengers in the queue.
“Fuck it,” he said, before he leaned into Callum and threw his arms around him. They swayed as they tightened their hold on one another. Noah managed to turn his head enough to land his lips on Callum’s cheek before whispering into his ear, “I love you.”
Callum whispered back, “I love you too, Noah. We’ll make it work, I promise.” Callum felt Noah’s head nod into his shoulder before he released him. “Now get out of here. This is fucking torture.”
As Noah walked away, Callum felt a boulder drop in his stomach.
The Call
3:00 p.m.
CALLUM’S phone finally rang.
“Hey, how did it go?” he asked quickly into his phone. Callum walked briskly down the road in anticipation. “Not quite the way I expected, to be honest.”
Callum steeled himself. He couldn’t read Noah’s tone.
“Why, what happened?”
“I told them I’m gay.”
“You did what?” Callum asked, shocked. He felt his
selfish heart leap as high as his legs as he jumped over a deep puddle in the road. “Hang on, let me explain.”
“Sure, of course,” Callum said, knowing the outcome of
the conversation. He wanted to tell Noah he was sorry that his contract hadn’t been extended, but he feared the joy in his voice couldn’t be disguised.
“I arrived to the meeting early because I knew my agent was going to try and head me off.”
“You told your agent?”
“I called her this morning. I understand that she was shocked, but her gut reaction was to tell me that what I was about to do would ruin my career and any chances of future contracts or endorsements.”
“And her agency fee.”
“Well, true. But she’s not like that. She’s always had my best interest at heart. It’s why I’ve stayed with her for so long. But I’d made up my mind. I went in early so I could build myself up to do it. If I had waited around for her, I knew she would have said anything she could to talk me out of it. So I sat with Howie and the coach. I knew they’d already made their decision, so I wanted to put it on the table before anything was said. I felt like I owed them that much.”
“That’s admirable, Noah, but why now? You didn’t do this for me, did you?” Callum asked, the full strength of his guilt kicking in.
“I was up all last night thinking about it. When Amy threatened to out me, I reacted badly. I know that. But I also know I never want to go through that feeling again. I realize now that it was less about people finding out I’m gay than it was that it would come out as some kind of dirty secret. It would’ve been sensationalized, as if it was sordid. Like it had been something that was exposed. I was ashamed of keeping it secret, not the secret itself. I think being with you has taught me that.”
Callum remained quiet and let him continue.
“So I told them there was something I needed to say before my agent arrived. They’ve been damn good to me over the years, so even if they weren’t renewing my contract, I still wanted them to hear it from me first, before it was reported anywhere else.”
“How’d they take it?” Callum asked, raising his gaze from the pavement just long enough to make sure he wasn’t about to collide with a passer-by. His trembling legs were moving, but Callum had no idea where they were leading.
