Never say forever (Never series Book 1)

by Taylor, Courtney A.

  I don’t even answer her. I’m not trying to be rude but my emotions are soaring and I just don’t even know what to say. We arrive at the place and sit in the waiting room. My mind is reeling with all the possibilities of what’s to come.

  They call my name and I go back. Abby follows me after I give allowance with the doctor for her to enter. “I need you to undress from the waist down and put the blanket over you. I know it seems unusual but we need you to be naked below in case we have to do an internal exam. I’ll give you a few minutes and I’ll be right back. Make yourself comfortable.” The doctor or nurse, whatever she is, walked out the room. Abby turned around so I could undress. I’m nervous as hell. I quickly undress so I can get this over with as quickly as possible.

  I am laying in this seat with the blanket over me when the nurse knocks. I tell her it’s okay to come in and she enters. She grabs some equipment I’m assuming she’ll need. I’m new to this, so I have no idea what to expect. She sits right by me and squirts some cold jelly on my stomach. I am already not liking this feeling. I don’t like to be cold. She then moved this object over my stomach that she just covered in this gel. She turns the computer or TV monitor in my direction. “See that?” She points to a little dot, kind of looks like a jelly bean. I nod my head. “That’s your baby. Congratulations.”

  I thought I would break down, but I’m amazed. Now that I can actually see the baby in my stomach, I’m in shock. I start crying on the spot. I know it’s silly, but my emotions are running haywire and I don’t know how to stop it. They are happy tears now. I may not know what to do, but I do know that I want that baby. More than anything, that baby is a keepsake of our love.

  The nurse walks out to give me some time to digest everything I just found out. Abby walks up to me and hugs me. “Congratulations, girl! I’m so happy for you.”

  “I don’t know how to break this to Aiden. He needs to know but I’m afraid of his reaction,” I said.

  “Have you gotten his a Christmas present yet?” She raises her eyebrow and smiles.

  “No and I have no clue what to get him either. Plus I have no money.” Ugh, that just reminded me. What the hell am I going to do? I have no money, no job, absolutely nothing.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll help you. How about you let him know about the baby through a present. That will be your present to him.” She has a point here.

  “But what if he isn’t happy with it?” I second guess this decision.

  “Honey, please. That boy will be ecstatic. I know him all too well. He loves you, he will love this baby just as much. I got the perfect idea on how to break the news to him.” She winks at me. This girl is seriously going to be a permanent fixture in my life.

  Christmas is a week away. I don’t know how I’m going to make it a whole week without letting him know. This means I can’t tell anyone else either, otherwise he may find out too early. I don’t like keeping secrets, but maybe this is the way to let him know. I guess I’ll find out soon.

  ***

  Aiden

  I woke up determined. It’s less than a week until Christmas. I have to get Serena something. I know I’m being a typical guy and waiting until last minute, but things are different. We professed our love, so now I want to get her something intimate, straight from the heart. I’m not even sure where to start. I can’t ask anyone because it needs to come from my heart. No one else’s.

  I have been looking for a job but have not had much luck lately. I hate to bum money from anyone but I force myself to ask my dad to borrow some money. I tell him why I need money, and to my surprise he just hands over several hundred dollars. I don’t think he’s ever given me that much money before. It’s very strange actually now that I think about it but I’m definitely not going to turn it down since this is our first Christmas together. I want to make this special.

  I know the mall is the worst place to go shopping, because they are so overpriced, but I can’t help it. There are so many stores in there, I know I will find the perfect present. Since it is close to Christmas the stores are packed, people everywhere, bumping into me. Now I remember why I never shop here. More importantly I must find the perfect present.

  I enter several stores, browsing anything and everything when I come across the perfect present. I look closely at it and know in my heart this is the present that’s meant for her. I pay the cashier who boxes up my item. “Good luck, sugar! You woman’s gonna love you when she gets this.” She teased me and winked.

  I lightly laugh. “She already does. I just want to make this special for her.”

  “She’s one lucky girl” She smiles at me as she hands me my receipt.

  I walk to my car and can’t stop thinking about the present. I’m very anxious and want to give this to her now, but I have to wait until Christmas. I won’t tell anyone about this present, not even Larissa or Ben. This will remain secret until Christmas. I’m very happy with my purchase. It’s a good thing my dad gave me that money, because this did cost quite a penny.

  Once I am home and have put the present up in a good spot I called Serena.

  “Hello,” she answered.

  “Hey Babygirl, you feeling any better?” I ask and I could be wrong but it sounds like Abby in the background.

  “Yeah I’m feeling much better.” She seems more cheerful than she was so I’m happy she is in a better state.

  “That’s good. Hey, is that Abby I hear in the background?” I questioned.

  “Yeah we’re going out for lunch.” I’m glad to know that their friendship has blossomed. Abby is a good girl, she would be a good friend for Serena.

  “You want some company? I was just finishing up some shopping and I don’t have much else to do. Plus I would like to see your beautiful face now that you’re smiling again.” I miss her terribly. I know I seen her yesterday, but she wasn’t feeling well. I miss my carefree Serena.

  “Yeah sure, meet us up at Starbucks. Were just here for a light lunch,” she exclaims.

  I tell her I’ll be there soon and I start heading out to the car. I drive to the nearest Starbucks and I spot them instantly upon walking in the entrance. I see Serena sitting there drinking water, which is pretty odd because she is a coffee drinker and she loves her Starbucks. I don’t mention it because she’s back in her happy mood. I don’t want to make her mad at me. I see Abby is drinking a coffee. I see the sparkle back in Serena’s eyes before she notices I’m here. I missed that sparkle.

  Serena notices me and rises from her chair and gives me a kiss. I whisper in her ear before parting “I missed you baby” I kissed her cheek and sat down. I have a feeling I interrupted girl time. There was probably conversation going on that I don’t want to hear but oh well, I want to see my girl.

  It’s very weird because when I came in they were both engaged in conversation and they were smiling and laughing. Once I made an appearance, everything is silent. Did I damper the mood? Or maybe they were talking about me? Whatever the reason they’re acting strange which brings me to one conclusion. I really don’t know shit about women. I’ll never figure them out. What guy can?

  “Abby, nice to see you again. I was surprised to see you. We were just at your house yesterday.” I am a bit shocked to see her but maybe the girls really hit it off when Ben and I made our trip to the store.

  She shrugs her shoulders and smiles. “What can I say? I’m irresistible, even to females in a committed relationship.” She grinned as she brought her drink up to her mouth. That got me laughing. She always did make me laugh whenever Ben and I hung out and she was around. She just has that personality that will grab anyone’s attention, whether it’s male or female.

  “Just don’t steal my woman and we won’t have any problems.” I chuckled and folded my arms over my chest.

  “I can’t help it if she likes me more than you.” There goes the grin again. She’s really enjoying fucking with me. I’m loving this though, because Serena is laughing so hard. After the way I seen her last night, I
welcome this laughing fit she’s having. This makes my day.

  Now that Serena and Abby have become friends, I have a feeling I’m going to be seeing a lot more of Ben. I have no issues with that since he’s my best friend. My hands are on my lap as I feel a hand grab it. I look up and Serena is smiling at me as she is grasping my hand. I can feel and see the true love in her eyes and her touch. It’s absolutely breathtaking.

  Abby must see this going on because she has her head in her hands and she’s looking straight at us batting her eyelashes. “Well if it isn’t Romeo and Juliet themselves.” She’s always teasing but I love it anyways. I laugh at her.

  “I’m gonna get going before you make me laugh to death. I can only take you in small doses” I said to Abby. That alone made her laugh.

  “Small doses? Shit, people need to get drunk on me. No shots. I’m talking the whole bottle.” She seems awfully cheerful. Not sure what’s going on but I can feel something that they’re not telling me. I haven’t seen Serena engage with anyone like this besides Larissa. I wonder where she is by the way. I hope she didn’t toss Larissa for Abby. I would feel terrible.

  “Real quick, before I go. Where’s Larissa? I thought you would be hanging with her today.” I ask that and I see something on Serena’s face. I’m not sure if she just got nervous or she’s trying to hide something.

  “I was actually going to see her after this.” She stumbled the words out. Something is definitely up. Maybe something happened between them or maybe she’s feeling guilty for hanging out with a new friend and leaving her out of the loop. I’m not all too sure, but something feels different and I can’t quite put my finger on it.

  I give her a kiss and head out, trying to think of what it is. I’m drawing blanks. Hopefully I’ll find out soon.

  Chapter 11

  Serena

  Christmas

  I woke up Christmas morning feeling like a typical pregnant woman. I feel sick as all hell, but I don’t let it show. As much as it hurts to hide it, I have to. I have Aiden’s present wrapped up and under the Christmas tree. I am both anxious and nervous. I tossed and turned in my sleep all night thinking about today.

  Even though I am nauseous, that doesn’t change the joy I have because of this holiday. The smell of the Christmas tree, the blinking lights, all of it seems to lighten my mood and make me smile. I’m glad to have Aiden to spend Christmas with.

  I spent Christmas with my family yesterday. My mom got me all the normal stuff she always gets me. Mainly clothes because that’s how Moms operate. The clothes will only fit me for a few more months but I don’t say anything because she doesn’t know yet.

  Aiden sent me a text letting me know he was on his way. My hands are shaking, my heart is pounding because I know this is it. I let it out and find out if he’s with me or I really do end up pregnant and alone. The nerves alone are causing my stomach to clench and become more nauseas. When will this go away? I hope I don’t have this the whole pregnancy. No matter what happens, this baby is staying. I refuse to give the baby up for adoption and I definitely will not abort. No matter what it takes, this baby will have a good life. I will make sure of it.

  Aiden arrives at the door. If I thought my nerves were shot before, I am literally going crazy. My mind won’t stop running and my heart won’t stop pounding against my chest. I am scared out of my mind of this outcome. I don’t think I have ever been this scared, even as a little kid scared of the strange creaking noises in the house.

  He walks in with the purest smile on his face. No wonder I couldn’t resist him before, He is irresistible. His smile could make me melt in a heartbeat. He has a small box in his hand which has me wondering what he got me. I am excited in a way, but nervousness is overriding any feeling of joy.

  My mother has gone to my grandparent’s house to spend Christmas there. I saw them yesterday so I decided not to go, that way I can have some alone time with Aiden before the whole world knows my secret. My mind is going crazy thinking about this, I’m not sure what to do. Should we jump right into presents? Because I just want to get this the hell over with so I can ease this battle running through my body.

  Aiden stops my mini meltdown with a gentle kiss to the lips. “Merry Christmas, Babygirl.” He says this in the kindest, gentlest way that calms my nerves and melts my heart. I really hope he is in for this long haul because I can’t imagine my life without him. He is my every breath, my heart and soul.

  He hands me the present he brought me. Well I guess its present time. I am excited as I tear the wrapping off to discover a box that I know can only contain jewelry. I open it up and I’m stunned speechless. It is a silver necklace with purple gems surrounding the outline of the heart. On the back has an inscription:

  My Violet

  I can’t hold back the tears that threatened to escape. They made their way and I’m crying like a little baby. If I thought my heart melted before, I was in for something else. He leaned over and whispered “A violet heart for my Violet. The heart represents my heart.” He turns me around and helps put it on. He turns me back around and fingers the heart necklace. “No matter how far we are, my heart will always be attached to yours” he places his hand over my heart where his heart necklace lies.

  Seriously, how can a girl deny anything to this man? I know I was stupid before and didn’t give him a chance, but I’m sure glad I did now. My heart just grew a smiley face. I know I’m crying but they are happy tears. I never imagined a life with anyone besides my mother or sister. Now I can’t imagine my life without Aiden.

  I look down at the necklace and see perfection. I don’t even care how much this costs. It could have cost twenty dollars but who cares? This came straight from the heart. That you cannot put a price tag on. I look up still glossy eyed and he’s looking right into my eyes. “I love you Babygirl, always and forever.” Here come the water works again.

  I wrap my arms around his neck and embrace him. I kiss him hungrily, trying to feel that connection we have. I can get lost in him. Just the smell of him, the taste of him and his touch send me needing more, craving more. I can never get enough of him.

  I step away from him and walk under the tree. I am walking slowly because right now my nerves are causing me to tremble. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for so why am I having trouble with delivering this? Oh that’s right, because he can easily walk out and take the coward way out.

  I grab the metallic blue present that’s laying by itself under the tree. I walk back, feeling crazed with all these thoughts running through my mind. I hand him the present and stand across from him. I close my eyes for a brief moment because it almost hurts to look.

  He opens the wrapping and pulls out a cookie. The cookie says baby on it. I don’t see any difference, probably because I call him baby. The second cookie he picks up is the one that really sets my anxiety at bay. That’s the cookie that has the sonogram picture on it. He’s staring at it, not saying a word. I’m mentally freaking out at this point. I don’t think I’ll survive heartache. He hasn’t looked up yet and I want to scream. The adrenaline in my body is on fire because of the nervousness at bay. He needs to say something, do something, before I have a mental breakdown.

  He looks right at me and that’s all it takes for the tears to start streaming down my face. Why hasn’t he said anything?

  “Baby? You’re pregnant?” He doesn’t have much expression on his face so I’m not sure how he’s feeling about this. That’s what is starting to hurt. I nod my head because that’s all I can do. I can’t speak or I will sound like a little kid that got their candy stolen.

  “How is this possible? We used a condom every time,” he questions and my heart sinks more. That question alone just sends the signal that this isn’t what he wants. He is going to leave me.

  “Condoms aren’t a hundred percent effective.” Those are the only words I can get out because I am hurting.

  I look down because I can’t take it anymore. The more I look at him the more the tea
rs flow, because he’s not giving me a response. It takes a few minutes and I feel a hand at me cheek. I look up and he brushed my hair behind my ears. “I know you’re not ready and you didn’t want this and I’m terribly sorry.” That’s totally not the reaction I wanted from him.

  “I won’t however say I’m sorry that I’m happy. I want this baby more than anything. Our love is strong enough to last a lifetime. This baby is a sign of it. I can’t tell you what to do, but baby if you keep this baby, I will do whatever it takes to take care of you two. Everything will work out the way we want. I’m in this for the long haul. I’ll stick by your side no matter what, that’s what love is for right? Thick and thin, baby! Always!” He kisses my forehead and leans his head to mine and closes his eyes. “My Violet, making my dreams come true, one step at a time.” I’m stunned, baffled, I can’t speak. He just grabbed hold of my heart and never let go. He has my heart for life. I kiss him happily.

  “I’m so happy to hear that. I was afraid you would bail on me.” I know I’m insane for thinking that but I’m a girl. We always think like that. Plus it doesn’t help with the pregnancy hormones.