“No,” I quickly say. I know he knows that I’m lying because he just laughed at that.
“Well I’m sorry I couldn’t make movie night. I have to finish up this project in the next few months. I have been working hard. I will try to get this done as soon as possible so we can have our time back. I miss you!”
I hate when he keeps bringing up the project. I want to know what it is and he’s antagonizing me with this.
“What did you say you were working on again?” I try to ask slyly.
He laughed hard at that one. “You think your slick. Nice one, but you’re not getting it out of me.”
Darn. I tried. It’s killing me not knowing everything. We said our goodbyes and hung up. Larissa thought it would be a good idea to watch the hangover. Good thing she was picking movies because my tears turned into fits of laughter.
We watched movies all day until she had to go home. Even though I was lazy today, it was a great day. I got to hang around my best friend all day. I hope we can still do this in the future even when the baby comes along. We will just have to make more kid-friendly choices.
***
Aiden
This past month has been crazy busy. My time has revolved around football and completing my project. I have very limited time to get this complete if I want this done by my deadline. I have the perfect time to present it, I just have to make sure there is no stalling. As much as it pains me to be away from Serena so much, I know that the end result will be worth it.
I even got Ben to help out. I filled him in on the secret but I made sure he wouldn’t say a word to Abby because we all know what a social butterfly she is. She can’t keep a secret, especially when she is excited.
I called Serena to check up on her today and she seemed like she was crying. I was a little panicked at first because I don’t want her to get second thoughts about all this but I realized that this is just the pregnancy hormones. I have to get used to this if I am going to make it through this pregnancy and still stay sane.
Everything so far is working the way I planned it. I can’t wait to see the look on Serena’s face when I’m finished. My dad also knows about this and he’s helping any way he can. Other than Ben and my dad, not a single soul knows what my intentions are.
I couldn’t be happier to have my dad so supportive of everything that is going on and my decisions. I couldn’t ask for a better Dad. I just wish my mother was around to share this joy. She couldn’t make it long enough to see her first grandchild since God had other plans for her.
Football has been great. It has really been kicking my ass but it feels great to be back in the game. Jeremy is one step closer to being knocked down a peg, and that makes me smile. I may be taking over his spot sooner than expected.
From what I’ve heard, Jeremy should have actually graduated last year but when he was a freshman, he decided that he was going to be a rebel and ditch school on a daily basis. His actions caused his grades to falter and in return he had to repeat freshman year. The only reason he got it together was for football. He was told he cannot play with those low grades. He straightened up and has been flying by with passing C’s. I overheard one of the other teammates getting on his case about picking up his grades or he will be off the team and will not get the quarterback position again because I am next in line.
Between football and the project, I am beat by the end of the day. By the time I get home I am in bed, passed out. It’s been a long time since I have slept so well. We can blame that on the exhaustion or we can blame that on happiness. Either or works for me.
I finish up working on the project for the day. I walk out the house and Ben is leaning against my car waiting for me. I figured he would have been gone by now. I walk up to him.
“Hey man, thanks for the help.”
“Anytime man. You going home now or you wanna chill for a little while?”
One of the good things about Ben helping me out is the time that we get to spend together. We get to catch up. It feels like it did before I moved, when we always spent time together.
“Yeah I have a little time. I’m tired so I can’t make it a late night,” I tell him as I am checking my phone for any texts or messages.
“It’s cool. I just don’t want to get back home yet. A little delay is always good.”
That’s strange. I hope something isn’t going on with him and Abby. He always wants to get home to her.
“Is everything okay? You and Abby aren’t breaking up are you?”
I am concerned over this because I know how much he loves her. They have been together for a long time. I would hate to see something wedge them apart.
“Please don’t tell anyone, even Serena. She doesn’t want anyone to know,” he starts. I sure hope everything is okay.
“Go on, you know you always have my word. I won’t say anything,” I promised.
“Abby and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year now. She wants one real bad and she keeps taking tests and either its negative or a false positive. She doesn’t want anyone to know because she keeps getting her hopes up and everything comes crashing down. She keeps pregnancy tests in the closet and if anyone ever sees them she always tells them they’re in case she has a scare, because she has had quite a few scares. In reality, she tests herself every month waiting for the double pink line. She feels embarrassed every time. It gets her hopes up all the time. Anytime she has been pregnant and it was a true positive, she would miscarry. She called me and said that she was taking a test because she’s late. As much as I want to be there, I also don’t want to see the look of disappointment when it’s negative. I also don’t want to see her get over-excited and then watch her world tumble down right in front of my eyes. I’ve been seeing it for so long and it’s eating away at me. It hurts to see her in pain. I always feel that this is my fault, that I’m inadequate and the one thing she really wants, I can’t give her,” he sulks as he’s telling me this.
This was a shocker. He hasn’t told me any of this, but then again why would he? If they have been trying for over a year that would have been around the time my mother died. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to tell me something happy during a time of grieving. When I moved, I kind of fell off the radar for a few months, so I can’t really blame him.
“Wow, I had no idea. First off, I’m sorry. Secondly, this isn’t your fault. If she keeps having miscarriages, maybe something is medically wrong with her that she needs to correct. You guys just turned twenty-one, you have a ton of time to have a baby. I would have waited that long but accidents happen and sometimes they are miracles. I think a miracle would happen for you guys. I think you need time. I think you guys should explore everything, get checked out, see if there is an underlying problem that you guys aren’t aware of. I understand about not wanting to see her torn down from all this but even though it hurts like hell, you should be there. If I was a girl and had to go through that, I would want someone there. I wouldn’t want to feel alone.”
I really hope he takes what I say to heart. We have always had heart to heart conversations and we both have helped each other out on numerous occasions.
“I know. I’m just scared of what’s to come and if something is wrong. I don’t want to hear the doctor tell me there’s something wrong with my perfect girlfriend. I do need to get to her but I’m glad I talked you. It’s been awhile, brother. Good to have you back.”
He hugs me and pats me on the back.
“I’m always here, man. Just a call or a drive away.”
We say our goodbyes and I head out to the car. I saw a text message from Serena.
Serena: I was eating a huge bowl of ice cream and I thought of you. Love you hunny!
I laughed hard at that one. She’s using this pregnancy to eat whatever she wants. Now that she is actually keeping it down. I am so glad that I don’t have to see her sick anymore. Her text just reminds me of how badly I miss her. I’ve barely seen her all week. This is killing me, but I always remind myse
lf that this will all be worth it in the end. I want to make her dreams come true. I know we are young, but I know this is true and I feel it in my gut that we will be together for the long haul.
I decide to call her instead of texting her back since I am driving. It doesn’t take very long for her to answer.
“Hi,” she answers cheerily. Earlier she was crying and now she’s happy. Pregnancy really does a number on your emotions.
“Hi Baby Girl. I didn’t want to text you because I’m driving. I’m on my way home now. How was your day? You sound awfully cheerful after I just heard you crying.”
“Well I watched a funny movie which got me out of my slump. Where are you at? I thought you were home?” she asks.
I know what she’s doing. She’s fishing for a clue as to what the project is. She thinks she can get this out of me but I am firm on keeping this a secret. I can’t ruin the fun or the moment. She will be surprised.
“I told you I was working on the project today.”
“Oh, yeah. Where is the project at? Egypt?” she joked.
Here she goes fishing again.
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. You will know when it’s finished.”
I can hear her sigh in disappointment though the phone. She probably doesn’t think I can hear it but I do.
“Okay. When do I get to see you? I miss you!” she whines.
“I’ll make it a point to stop by tomorrow before I head back to the project. I’ll come by and we can get some dinner. Sound okay?”
“Yes, as long as I get to see you. I feel very Aiden deprived. Do you really want to deprive a pregnant girl?”
She teased. I love when she makes comments like that to make me laugh.
I laugh, “No, I most definitely don’t want to deprive my pregnant princess. I just got home, baby. I will see you tomorrow for dinner. Make sure to bring your appetite,” I teased back.
“I’ll bring mine and the baby’s. Night Aiden. Love you.”
“I love you to, my sweet Violet.”
I only call her that in private because that name shows the extent of love I have for her. No one else needs to know. She is my one and only. I hang up the phone and walk in the house. My dad must be sleeping now. He took a day off today from helping with the project. He has been helping a lot, so I understand. I walk up to my bedroom and lay in the bed. It doesn’t take me long to fall into a restless sleep. Visions of my future play through my head making me fall into a deeper sleep.
Chapter 14
Serena
One Month Later
I am now four months pregnant and time is really starting to fly. One more month and I get to find out if I can dress my little peanut in pink or blue. I am literally counting down the days until my ultrasound. I haven’t been able to see the baby on the ultrasound since the very beginning and this is something I am anticipating. I find myself biting my nails lately just hoping time will fly by faster. Then I realize I don’t want it to fly by too soon because I’m just not ready yet.
I freak out from time to time because I am young. I don’t know anything about being a mom or raising a baby. The only thing that keeps me afloat is knowing that Aiden is here, with him around I know everything will be fine.
I have finally started to gain a little bit of weight and I have a very small bump popping out. It’s not very noticeable right now. I can still wear the same clothes I have been wearing. Not much longer before my buttons will pop though.
Larissa and Abby became quick friends one time when we all hung out. Now when anything is set for a girl’s night, we make sure we can all be there. I have been spending a lot of time with the girls since I haven’t seen too much of Aiden. It’s a good thing I know him and trust him otherwise I would be freaking out right now. Okay, I lied. I totally freak out on a daily basis. I constantly think that maybe Aiden is out with another girl who isn’t sitting at home eating ice cream and getting fat. Maybe he found someone he could have sex with without a belly getting in the way. Then I start thinking how unattractive I am and maybe he’s just losing interest. I start thinking crazy thoughts. Maybe it’s the pregnancy, I’m not all that sure. The one thing I know is that I have never acted this way and I have never felt this way. Am I just jealous? Or am I just too afraid of ending up broken-hearted with a bun in the oven?
It’s a good thing I have my girls. Every time I start thinking crazy, and believe me, they know when I’m thinking crazy. As soon as a tear falls or I get the deer in headlights stare, they know I’m deep in thought. They extinguish that fire before it blazes. They tell me how irrational I am and that it’s just my hormones flying crazy in my body. I want to believe them, I really do, but how can I when the only person I have ever loved is not even present for these important moments?
Abby even told me that Ben has been with him helping him out. I feel a little bit better knowing that because I honestly don’t think that he would cheat on Abby. Even though they are four years older than me, I still see them as the high school sweethearts, prom king and queen. They are the cutest couple you can stumble across. Even their house is cute. It’s a small cozy house fit for a small family. I would love to have a place like that someday, unless I grow a bigger family.
Today has been a little difficult for me. I woke up still exhausted. I have been tired lately and it has been lasting all day. Laziness has taken full effect and without Aiden here, I am bumming around the house. I text him a lot and I get the feeling that I’m bugging him but I can’t help it. I am lonely, even when I have my two best friends, I am lonely as hell. I need that connection we have, which is lacking because he is away from me.
Abby sends me a message to let me know she’s on her way to get me. She is taking me to her house today. I really don’t feel like it. I don’t want to move from my seat but I know that if I don’t I will just worry about Aiden and our relationship and become depressed. That’s not good for me or the baby so I decide to suck it up and deal with it.
I finish what I’m doing and change my clothes. I grab a bottle of water and some snacks I know I will need. I have been hungry a lot lately. It’s March now so winter is slowly dying down so now I can enjoy watching Aiden play football without freezing. I go to his games because right now, that’s the only chance I get to see him. I feel so deprived.
Abby pulls up and we go back to her house. I enjoy relaxing in her house. It’s quite peaceful. I sit down on the chair as Abby is preparing something for us to eat. Whatever it is, it smells very good. I could get used to being here. I browse my phone in hopes to have something from Aiden, but I get nothing. No text, no call. I don’t feel all that great about it.
I decide to call him because I just need to hear his voice. He answered the phone and I hear a bunch of background noise. I can’t quite make out what it is.
“Hey, where are you at?” I ask hoping to know what is going on to make all that noise.
“I’m working hunny. What do you need? Everything okay?” he worries.
“Yeah, everything is fine. I just miss you. I haven’t heard from you and I just wanted to make sure you’re still my boyfriend.”
It sounds quiet on the other end so I am assuming he moved away from all that clatter.
“I know, Baby. We went over this before. I hate being away from you but trust me when I say this, when this is done, you are going to be happy. This is worth it. Let me do this for you. I love you, I’m not going anywhere, I promise. My heart belongs to you, and you only. That’s a fact.”
I wish I could stop the crazy emotions that flow through me, but I can’t because this baby is still here and I have another five months to drive him insane with my hormones.
“I know, it’s just that I’m lonely. I miss just laying in your arms. Heck, I just miss hugging you. Can you come and hug me? That’s all I ask,” I whine.
I hear him sigh on the other end.
“I know, Baby. As much as I want to, I can’t drop what I’m doing to come there and hu
g you. Once this is done, I will give you as many hugs as you want. I promise.”
That’s just enough to send me into tears. I just want a hug and he can’t even come by here and hug me. I feel so unimportant.
“Okay,” I say through broken words.
“I’m so sorry, Baby. Don’t cry. I love you! Always and forever,” he whispers on the phone.
“I love you, too.” I hang up the phone and look up and Abby is looking at me like she’s ready to scold me.
“Did you just call Aiden?” She asks.
“No,” I say quickly.
“Don’t lie! I know you called him.”
“Alright, fine. I called him because I wanted to hear his voice and I wanted him to come and hug me,” I say pathetically.
“I’ll give you a damn hug. Leave the poor boy to do his work. He isn’t going to finish this if he has you calling him every second,” she says.
Never say forever (Never series Book 1) Page 15
