“You think you can find the philter?”
“I'm not sure. But I think we shall never find it if we continue to depend on those two illusions for information.”
She had a point. “But what about right now? Desi is with Hiatus, and—”
“And she has influenced him in a sinister manner. Haven't you noticed? We can not trust him in this context.”
She had another point. “I really don't care to—”
Mentia appeared. “There's a problem with the Interface,” she announced tersely. “It—”
“Oops,” Iris said. They both vanished.
Gary looked around. Hanna had appeared. “I've neglected you, my lord,” she said, smiling with false cheer.
Gary hoped that Iris and Mentia had gotten clear in time to avoid detection. He would have liked to talk with them longer, but he did have the gist of their concerns, which he shared. They needed opportunity to search for the philter in this ancient context, and to check the Interface closely, without any participation by the two illusions from madness.
Evidently Desi had finished with Hiatus; once he was asleep, Hanna could concentrate on Gary. He needed to take up her attention, so that Iris and Mentia could take their search farther. But the thought of being seduced by Hanna simply did not appeal to him; it was Gayle he wanted to be with. Yet he did not want to betray his real nature by being open about that. Gayle herself had warned him not to.
He looked at the illusion. What was he to do?
“I know you are really worn after your effort,” Hanna said, approaching him. “I know just how to relax you.”
Her gown went translucent, then transparent, showing him the form that had become increasingly alluring despite his better understanding of her nature. He was becoming entirely too human for comfort.
She wanted to distract him, and he wanted to distract her. All he had to do was let her do it. But he lacked the desire, in a certain way. “I'm not sure—”
She stepped into him and kissed him on the mouth.
Caught by surprise, and somewhat off balance, he grabbed on to her to steady himself. His hands landed on her narrow back and plump rear. Both were rather interesting in their fashions. She had said she could make herself as solid as she needed to be, and she was doing so now. The illusion of sight had been augmented by the illusion of touch. Maybe her body was a mere shell without innards, and her mind did not exist, but that did not seem to make much difference at the moment.
Yet it was her mouth that commanded his main attention. What an interesting sensation this firm pressure of lips on lips generated! He had never realized how nice it could be.
She drew back a bit. “Let me take off your robe,” she murmured. Her hands went to it, drawing it clear of his shoulders and body. As she did this, he looked at the front of her body, realizing just how intriguing it was. He had thought he lacked the desire, but he had not really given it a proper chance. This was not an objectionable process at all. Let her do it? He would help her do it!
In a moment she had him bare, and was embracing him again. Now his interest was intensifying in the manner of a storm of madness. All his prior cautions faded like forgotten illusions. He just wanted to proceed with what she had in mind.
“Maybe on the bed,” she murmured in his ear.
Go to the bed? He would have leaped out the window with her, if she suggested it now! He moved eagerly to the bed and flung himself down on it, with her.
Suddenly they had company. The Queen and governess had returned.
“Ixnay,” Iris said.
“Get out of here, you nuisance,” Gary retorted.
“Separate,” Mentia said, tugging at him.
“Go away!” Hanna cried, seeming even more annoyed than Gary. “This isn't your business.”
“Yes it is,” Iris said, putting her hands on the handmaiden's bare shoulders. But her hands passed right through the seeming flesh without effect. Iris might or might not be illusion at the moment, but Hanna was. She could be touched only when and where she chose to be.
“Get away from her,” Mentia told Gary. “She's definitely not for you.”
“How would you know?” he demanded, struggling to free himself from her hold. “Demons don't love.”
“That's why we can be rational about the matter. This pseudo-creature is deadly.” Mentia hauled harder, with considerable strength.
“Begone!” Hanna screamed.
“So maybe I can't touch you most places,” Iris said. “But I can stop you from touching him where it counts.”
She put her hands on the illusion's torso. They passed through, of course, and came to the edge of Gary's body.
Now Gary could no longer feel Hanna's torso either.
Hanna could make parts of her body seem solid, but not for one person only. As a result, there was nothing to hold him close, and Mentia was able to pull him away.
“****!” Hanna shrieked, making the air turn bilious.
“Then feel this!” Her hands formed into large sharp claws, and her face sprouted long fangs. She leaped at Iris.
But Mentia popped away from Gary and appeared between Iris and Hanna. The claws sank into demon flesh, and caught there, as if embedded in a thick mat. “You can't hurt me, you horror,” the demoness said. “But I may hurt you, if you don't let go. I'll break your nails.” She reached for the claws, her hands forming into metallic pincers. “And pull your teeth.” Her head became a giant pair of pliers.
“$$$$!” Hanna hissed, and vanished. The odor of the word was like burning garbage.
Gary had landed on the floor when Mentia quit her support, but he hardly felt it. “What's going on?” he demanded. “Why did you break it up, when I was doing exactly what you asked me to?”
“You explain,” Mentia told Iris. “I must safeguard Surprise.” She vanished.
“Because we learned the folly of our strategy,” Iris said, coming to help him up. She was solid; this was the real Queen. “We almost did you great harm.”
“Harm? I was just getting to like it!”
“To be sure,” the Queen said, grimacing. “And had you been with me, you could have continued and had a grand experience. Maybe we'll get to that, another time. But we have learned that those two fetching illusions are in fact our deadly enemies, and now that we have caught on to that, we're apt to have real trouble.”
Gary began to realize that the Queen and demoness had not just been making mischief. Actually, he might have suspected it when Hanna screamed the unprintable four letter words and sprouted claws and fangs. She had then seemed more like the Hannah Barbarian he had known before. “So what was the harm she was about to do me?” he asked.
“She was going to steal your soul.”
This was so unexpected that Gary was unable for a moment to assimilate it. “My what?”
Iris picked up his clothing and offered him some of it to put back on. “I realize what a shock this is to you. It shocked us, too, but when we discovered it, we knew we had to act immediately. The two things the illusions desire are substance and souls. They can get some substance from the madness; it seems that the magic is so thick within it that it can be distilled into temporary solidity. But it can't be distilled into the stuff of souls. So those are what they have to steal, if they ever hope to become real.”
“But illusions aren't real!” Gary protested. “How can they even have desires?”
“True illusions can't have desires. But those two do desire substance and souls,” she said. “Which of course is two more than the illusions I craft. That's why I was so long about coming to this conclusion; I assumed that all illusions were like mine, which are really part of me. But you see, I have substance and soul, so I don't miss them, and neither do my illusions. But illusions that lack these things are different, it turns out. Perhaps only in the Region of Madness can there be such illusions, but it is clear that they do exist here.”
“But aren't they projected by someone?” Gary asked, still confus
ed. “The way they alternate in speech and animation, except when in the strong madness—isn't that because that person can't focus on two animations at once?”
“They may be projected by someone who lacks a soul,” she said. “In which case, Hanna was merely trying to collect your soul for her master or mistress. The consequence to you would be similar.”
“Someone without a soul?”
She handed him another item of apparel. “There are a number of creatures without souls. It seems that most animals lack souls, and don't miss them. But all who have any human ancestry, such as the human/animal crossbreeds, do have souls, and value them. So there might be an intelligent unsouled animal, like a dragon, hiding here in the Region of Madness. It might eat us, but then our souls would be lost to it, because killing the host frees the soul. So it is being more careful. It wants to get our souls first; then it can safely eat us. Now that we have balked it, it may decide to eat us anyway. That's why a situation that has been polite may now become dangerous.”
“A dragon—hiding in the madness?” he repeated, his appreciation of the danger growing. “Smart enough to craft illusions that emulate us and talk to us intelligently?”
“It's a frightening notion,” she said. “But yes, that's what we think we're up against. A dragon—or something worse.”
“Then we had better get out of here in a hurry!”
“I'm not sure that's wise.” She gave him the last of his clothing.
“But if it's going to eat us—”
“We think it won't eat us as long as it has the hope of getting at least one soul. The soul is incalculably valuable to it, as it is to us. But if we leave the Region of Madness, it will lose us. It would probably rather eat us than let us go. So that's when it's most likely to attack physically. We don't dare try to leave until we know a good deal more about the nature of our enemy, and then we'll have to do it by surprise, so we can get clear before it realizes. But if we act as if we're staying, it will probably hold off. After all, it hasn't even tried for my soul yet, or Surprise's.”
“Probably it would have to shut down the two female illusions entirely, and craft male illusions instead,” Gary said.
“Yes. And it may know that females are less foolish than males, so can't be seduced as readily. It was a close call with you—and with Hiatus.”
“What happened with him?”
“That's how we got the key. He's in love with Desiree, and Desi is a real temptation. But he knows she's just an image, and he wants the original. He was willing to go along with the image, to an extent, because males are foolish about nymphs and the like, but he didn't turn off his mind. And finally he got her to admit what she was really after.”
“Why did she tell him?”
“Hiatus' role as Lord Hiat is a pretty devious character.
He hinted that he might be more seducible if he knew Desi truly loved him. She said she could truly love him if she got a soul. That gave him the hint. He told Mentia, and she told me, and we realized what Hanna wanted from you.”
“I never even thought of it,” Gary said, shuddering with reaction. “She said she just wanted to help me relax.”
“Yes, so you would let go of your soul more readily.”
“How—how would she actually take my soul?”
“We're not sure. But we think that at the moment of the ellipsis of stork summoning, a person's soul is loosened.
It's the desire to share with one's partner; the two souls wish to embrace even as the two bodies are doing. So that instant of generosity may allow an unscrupulous partner to snatch the soul. Once it's done, it's done; I think you would have a hard time getting it back.”
“I think I owe you my deepest appreciation for interceding,” Gary said, feeling weak in the human knees.
Iris smiled. She was surprisingly attractive that way.
“Just do the same for me, if it is ever required.”
“But you are forewarned. You will never let your soul be loose.”
“This thing is smart, very smart. It is surely figuring out a new strategy even now. We may find that as tricky to grasp and oppose as we did this one. With its command of illusion, we will hardly know what is real and what isn't.”
“That's another thing. If talents never repeat—”
“How can it have the same talent as I have? That has bothered me all along. Actually it's not quite true that talents never repeat; a person in one historical time may have a talent used by another person in another time. And the Curse Fiends, or Curse Friends as they call themselves, all seem to have the same talent of cursing. But I have never known of a Magician-caliber talent repeating. There have been close variants, though. Sometimes different talents can have similar effect. So I think this creature has a talent for illusion that may seem similar to mine, but differs in its mechanism. At any rate, it's an interesting situation. I have learned how to identify its illusions, which complement mine. If I deleted my illusions. Hinge would become a mere shadow of itself. I see no point in that, so I maintain them. I think that's best, until we know more about our enemy. For one thing, it might assume that I would shut down my illusions preparatory to departing.”
“Maintain your illusions!” Gary agreed.
“So now we had better get together with the other members of our party, and decide what to do next.”
“We should keep searching for the philter,” Gary said.
“That's why we came, and why we would be expected to stay. Once we find it—”
“The crunch will come,” she said. “Because our enemy will know we're done here. Good point.”
They left Gary's room and went to the one where Mentia and Surprise stayed. The other two were there, as was Hiatus. “I understand I helped interrupt something,” Hiatus said to Gary.
“Thank you,” Gary said feelingly. “The Queen explained.”
“Just as I have explained to Surprise,” Mentia said.
The child turned to Gary. “How come you weren't explaining it to me, Tooter?”
“Tutor,” Gary said. “I was—” He caught Iris' warning glance. He couldn't tell a child what he had almost done with Hanna. “I was getting dressed.”
“Oh. I thought maybe you were getting 'duced by Desi.”
“Seduced by Hanna,” Gary said before he caught himself. “I mean—oh, never mind. We have a serious situation here. What are we going to do about it?”
“On top of that, we messed up with the Interface,” Mentia said. “I was about to tell you, before the illusion got hot for you. It was supposed to incorporate a filter element, so that the water passing through it from Mundania isn't polluted. But that isn't there.”
“Philter?” Gary asked.
“Filter. It's right there in the specs they worked out over the centuries. We forgot to include it in our invocation. Now the bad water comes right in.”
Gary was stricken. “That's why the geis of the gargoyle had to continue! It was supposed to be abated by the inclusion of the filter—of the magic philter. How could we have overlooked that all-important detail?”
Desi appeared. “It's our fault,” she said. “I am desolate because of it.”
“Desi the Desolate,” Hiatus said somewhat cynically.
“What do you care that we made a mistake?”
“Because if Hanna and I hadn't been distracting you, you might not have made it,” Desi said.
“Distraction!” Hiatus exclaimed. “You were trying to steal my soul!”
“I didn't realize it was so important to you,” Desi said, sending him a desolate glance. “I never had a soul of my own.” She looked so sad that Gary was almost tempted to try to console her—and she hadn't even been directing her effort at him. “I'll do anything to make it up to you.” She put one hand to her dress.
“Not that!” Iris snapped. “If you really want to help, tell us how to fix that omission from the Interface.”
“Why, of course,” Desi said. “Just assign the gargoyles to the inf
lowing rivers.”
“But that's what we came to end!” Gary protested. “I'm tired of—” Then he caught himself. “Of having to depend on gargoyles to do what should be automatic.”
“I'm sorry for the gargoyles,” Desi said. “But the Interface is permanent. It can only be fixed by being corrected and recompiled.”
“Recompiled?”
“That's what you just did, in your roles as ancient folk. You compiled it and set it in place.”
“And now we are at the three-thousandth anniversary of that compilation,” Mentia said. “So we can fix it.”
“You could recompile it,” Desi said, “but there doesn't seem to be much point.”
“Why not?”
“Because the reason you didn't include the filtration factor is that you lost the philter. Since you don't have that, you can't improve on the Interface as it stands. The outer and inner filters will have to remain as they are.”
“Inner filter?” Iris asked sharply. “What is that?”
“The one that confines the madness to a small region,” Desi explained. “With that filter in place, only ordinary magic can escape to the main part of Xanth.”
“The expanding madness!” Hiatus exclaimed. “Because of the missing filter!”
“How,” Iris asked firmly, “can we fix the inner filter? Patch it with more gargoyles?”
Desi laughed. “Of course not! For that you need a spot filtration spell. Then the Interface, thus patched, will be as good as it was supposed to be.”
“Except that the gargoyles will be stuck forever doing a job they shouldn't have to do,” Gary said dryly, which was unusual for his species.
“Who cares?” Desi asked. “They're only animals.”
Iris spoke before Gary could. “We, as compassionate folk, do not care to subject any species, whether human, crossbreed, or animal, to unnecessary drudgery. We must fix the Interface.”
Mentia had another angle. “That spot filtration spell that contains the madness—how durable is it?”
“Oh, that's no problem; it will last as long as the magic does.”
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