“If you haven’t got any ideas, I have the only one that matters.” His mouth descended, kissing her with an urgency and passion his earlier kisses had only hinted at.
This was a man’s kiss, hot with desire for which she had no defense.
With their bodies and legs molded to each other, rapture spiraled through her, blotting out time, space, identity, will. In this man’s arms, she could say goodbye to all of it. Finally he allowed her a breath of air.
“That wasn’t a penalty,” she whispered shakily. “Y-you weren’t supposed to like it.”
“It’s too late to come up with anything else now.” Cutting off her escape route, he drank deeply from her mouth again until they were giving kiss for kiss, each one hungrier and more intense than the last.
As she moaned her need of him, there was a tremendous crack of sound in the atmosphere, louder than thunder at this elevation. When she could gather her wits she realized it was a jet overhead that had just broken the sound barrier. Clay burst into tears.
“Incoming!” Walker shouted. His body hardened to steel. In the next instant, he covered her head with his arms and pressed her so hard against his chest she couldn’t breathe. Worse, her mouth was just below the water, but his hold on her was like a vise.
He was back in Iraq!
Don’t panic, Paula.
Her son cried harder.
“Don’t die, don’t die…” She heard Walker’s mantra.
As he turned both their bodies toward the sound of Clay’s voice, the corner of her jaw took a hit against the edge of the pool, but it allowed her to drink in gulps of air. Using uncommon strength she caught his face in her hands and forced it upward. He’d gone pale and his eyes were glazed, exactly as they’d been at the parade.
“Walker? It’s Paula. You’re not in Iraq. We’re in the pool at the ranch house. We’re all fine. Clay’s fine. Can you hear me?”
She watched his hand reach for the jade and press it. “I’m not in Iraq.” He repeated the words like a litany.
“No, you’re not in Iraq. You’re here safe with me.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and burrowed her face in his neck. “You’re all right. Everyone’s fine,” she said over and over again in a soothing tone until she felt his rigid body start to relax.
“Paula?” he whispered. When she lifted her head, she was thankful to see recognition in his eyes once more. Clay was in hysterics, but it was more important she soothe Walker first.
“You’re bleeding!” He sounded horrified.
“It’s nothing. I scraped the edge of the pool by accident.”
He took a shuddering breath. “What’s wrong with Clay?”
“Nothing serious. He got upset when a jet overhead broke the sound barrier. Come on. Let’s get out of the pool.” As they used the steps to reach the deck, she could feel his body trembling.
“I’m coming, sweetheart.” Grabbing a towel, she pressed it to her chin, then hurried over and pulled him out of his swing. “Did that big plane scare you?”
Walker was right behind her and put his arms around both of them. “What have I done to you?” The sorrow in his voice just about killed her.
“You haven’t done anything. See? Clay’s already settling down and wants you to hold him.”
Once the boy was in his arms she heard Walker say, “I love you, sport.” He walked around the patio with her son to comfort him. Paula took advantage of the time to wash her hair and shower in the cabana before getting dressed. When she came out, Walker had put Clay on his lap so he could drink his bottle.
He watched her approach him. “I’ll drive you home. Just give me a few minutes to get showered and dressed first.”
“Take all the time you need.” She plucked Clay from his arms and sat down in one of the deck chairs while he finished his bottle.
Walker surprised her when a short time later he appeared from the cabana showered and dressed, carrying a first-aid kit. “We need to take care of that cut.”
“It stopped bleeding right away and isn’t deep.”
“Nevertheless it needs attention until a doctor can look at it. Put your head back.”
Paula did his bidding while he wiped the wound with an antiseptic pad and put a small bandage over it. He did his job with the expertise of a medic in the field. She couldn’t help but wonder how many of the men under his command had been the recipient of his services in combat.
He left the kit on the table. “Let’s go.” With the swing in one arm and the baby bag in the other, he walked them around the side of the house to the truck. Once settled in the cab, he turned to her.
“I’d planned for us to eat lunch here, but I think Clay’s had enough upset for one day. We’ll pick up some hamburgers in town and take them to your apartment.”
She nodded, glad he’d made that suggestion because food was the last thing on her mind right now.
“But first we’ll stop by the E.R. and have them take a look at that cut.”
“You really think it’s necessary?”
His lips tightened. “I think it needs a couple of stitches.”
“All right.”
An hour and a half later Walker helped her and Clay in the apartment. Sure enough she’d needed two stitches. He insisted on doing everything, including putting Clay down. A few minutes later he joined her in the kitchen and sat down in one of the other chairs next to her, but he didn’t touch his food. She saw the anxiety in his eyes.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Hey…” She smiled at him, wishing she had the power to take his worry away. “Now I have a mark of bravery from the war, too.”
He seemed to have trouble swallowing. “Don’t joke about this. It’s too serious.”
“The only thing serious is your overreaction to one tiny cut.” She put down the last of her hamburger. “You were trying to protect me and turned us both against the side of the pool for a shield. If there’d been a bomb, you’d have gotten the worst of it, not me.”
She heard his sharp intake of breath. “I’m no good for you.”
Her stomach twisted when he said things like that. “This has gone far enough, Walker. You’re using your PTSD as an excuse for what’s really wrong. For heaven’s sake, tell me what’s going on inside you. You’re as closemouthed as Brent!”
Lines marred his striking features. “I guess I should be flattered you could come up with a comparison.”
While she was trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean, he sprang to his feet. “I’ve got to go.”
Now he’d made her angry. “You always have to go.”
“Yup.”
As he turned away from her she glimpsed panic in his eyes. “Wait—” She raced after him, but he was already out the front door and down the stairs. She moved fast, but she couldn’t catch up to him.
By the time she reached the lower level in front of Angie’s vacant apartment, his truck had disappeared. In the distance she heard the squeal of tires. It sounded as if he was running for his life.
Her hands curled into fists. How easy for him to take off when he knew she couldn’t leave Clay to follow him.
Run then, Walker Cody! It’s better this way. You’ve just saved me the trouble of having to tell you your world is too dangerous for me.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, you just saw Walker Cody from Markton, Wyoming, clock a time of 4.2 this round. After the momentum he got at the Cody Rodeo in Wyoming last weekend, this has to be a bit of a disappointment for him here at the Crazy Horse Stampede. Wylie Hodges, number two in the world standings from Austin, Texas, is in the box now. He—”
Walker didn’t wait to hear any more. He exited the arena where Jesse was waiting for him behind the barrier. Boyd indicated he’d take care of Peaches.
He eyed his brother. “Who am I kidding, Jesse? My timing’s off. I haven’t got it.”
“We all have our bad nights. I had a bad one mys
elf tonight.”
At least Mark Hansen hadn’t come to South Dakota to compete in this one. That had to be a plus for Jesse. “An eighty-eight is in the ballpark, bro.” They walked out behind the pens. “With a 4.2, I might as well chuck it all in. Six years away have taken their toll.”
Jesse squinted at him out of those brilliant blue eyes. “That’s not the reason. Don’t you think it’s time we discussed Paula Olsen?”
His jaw hardened. “Who’s been talking?”
“Who hasn’t?”
“Hell.”
“Don’t you know there aren’t any secrets on the Cottonwood Ranch? Mrs. Olsen isn’t just any woman, you know.”
“That’s right. She’s Brent Olsen’s wife!”
“Ah.”
Walker frowned. “What do you mean ‘Ah’?” No one could get to him like his older brother.
Jesse clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re the brainy one in the family. Just don’t take too long figuring it out. We’ve got the Mesquite Championship in Dallas next weekend.” He put his cowboy hat back on. “The twins are waiting at the trailer for me. They had a good night.”
“I know. Tell them I’m proud of them.”
He nodded. “We’re going to head out now.”
“Boyd and I are, too.”
“See you back at the ranch.”
They both took off. He loved Jesse, but little did his brother know Walker’s problem was insurmountable.
THE CALL FROM ANGIE CAME after ten on Friday night when Paula was in bed. Her friend’s nursing hours dictated when they could talk, but Paula would have waited for it all night if she had to. She needed to unload to her before she went crazy.
“I got your message earlier, but I couldn’t call until now.”
“You think I don’t understand? You’re a friend in a million, Angie.”
“Ditto.”
“How are things going?”
“Good. Danice likes the woman I found to babysit her. My sister spells her off when she can. It’s saving my life.”
“I know it’s hard leaving Danice, but you only have four semesters to go, and then you’re done.”
“Oh, Paula. I was a fool to quit nursing school to get married, but then—”
“Then you wouldn’t have your adorable daughter,” Paula broke in. “So you can’t think that way.”
“You’re right. How’s my favorite little boy?”
“He’s good. I know he’s missing Danice. Whenever we go down the stairs, he wants to run into your apartment and looks up at me in such bewilderment.” She knew Clay was wondering where Walker was, too.
Angie sniffed. “You shouldn’t have told me that. I take it you haven’t heard from Walker since we talked the other day.”
“No. It’s been two weeks since he did his disappearing act. No phone calls. Nothing.”
“Considering the extent of your fear, it’s probably best that it ended this way.”
Paula’s heart started to race. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve decided I don’t want it to end.”
There was a long silence. “Since when?”
She jackknifed into a sitting position. “Since the time you made the remark that you didn’t realize my fear was so deep-seated. I’ve done a lot of thinking about that. When I met Brent, he told me he was in the Reserves. The possibility that he’d have to go overseas was a given, yet I continued to date him without worrying that he’d lose his life in war.
“When Kip went through that period where he did his bulldogging, I didn’t agonize that he’d be fatally injured. The thought didn’t enter my mind. Only since Brent’s death have I developed this…phobia.”
“I’m impressed you’ve figured that out, Paula. It is a phobia, but one you came by legitimately.”
“If Walker and I are ever to have a relationship, I’ve got to get over it.”
“Agreed.”
“Looking back, I can see I overreacted the day that dog tried to bite Clay.”
“Maybe a little, but aren’t you glad you did? Otherwise you wouldn’t have gotten to know Walker.”
The thought of Walker not being in her life anymore was beyond her comprehension. She slid out of bed. “He thinks I’ll never get over Brent, but he’s wrong!”
“You and I both know that.”
“His mom once told me she hoped he would start believing in himself. I don’t know if he told her he might be sterile, and that was what she was talking about.”
“Considering he’s a Cody who’s used to being the best in the world at what he does, it could be harder on him than some men.”
“That’s what I’ve been thinking. Angie? I’ve put a plan in action to talk to him, but I want your opinion before I carry it out.”
“This is exciting. I’m all ears.”
“My brother keeps me filled in on the Pro Rodeo schedules. Walker’s competing at the Mesquite Championship in Dallas this weekend. In anticipation of flying down there tomorrow, I drove Clay to Garland this evening. His grandparents are going to keep him until Sunday.”
“It sounds great so far. Do you know where Walker’s staying?”
“When Kip was at the Cottonwood Ranch, Walker showed him and Ross around. They got to see inside his luxury horse trailer. According to Kip the interior is like a holiday villa with every amenity. Apparently Walker and Boyd stay in it on the grounds of the arenas where they compete. I won’t have any problem finding it.”
“Well then, I say, go for it, girl!”
AFTER A 3.7 AND A 3.6 FOR the past two nights, a dispirited Walker had to face the possibility that he was finished. Washed up.
He took care of his horse, then walked around to the living quarters of the trailer and went inside. Boyd had gone off with the guys, which was a good thing. They’d decided not to leave Dallas for the ranch until morning.
What Walker needed first was a shower to wash off the grime and sweat of the day. A few minutes later he shrugged into his robe and walked in the kitchen barefoot. Usually a hot shower helped him relax enough so he could eat, but tonight his thoughts were too black. He hadn’t bothered to shave and had no appetite.
Two weeks without seeing or talking to Paula—not knowing how she was—had ruined his focus. He was torn up inside. In that amount of time Clay would already have grown so much, Walker wouldn’t even recognize him. Worse, the little guy wouldn’t have a clue who he was if he ever saw him again.
In an unprecedented move since returning from Iraq, he reached for the Jack Daniel’s that Boyd kept on hand and poured himself a drink. A couple of them ought to send him into oblivion where he wanted to go—for tonight at least.
As he raised the glass to his lips, someone knocked on the trailer door. He was in no mood for company and took a swallow. If he ignored them, whoever it was would go away.
To his irritation they knocked again, louder this time. What the hell? He slammed the glass down on the counter spilling it and headed for the door. Whoever it was, he’d get rid of them in a hurry.
“Paula,” he whispered in absolute shock after he’d flung the door open. Her fragrance assailed him.
The light from the interior illuminated her glorious blond hair and blue eyes. The sight of her standing there in designer jeans covering womanly hips and a short-sleeved denim top that cinched in at the waist rocked him back on his heels.
“I’ve never seen you ride before, Mr. Cody. You were awesome out there tonight.”
Walker’s respiration had started acting up, so he couldn’t take anything more than a few shallow breaths. “What are you doing here?”
She flashed him a provocative smile. “What do you think?”
He held on to the door for support, not able to think. “Where’s Clay?”
“With his grandparents in Garland.”
Walker shook his head to clear it. Maybe he was hallucinating. “How did you get here?”
“I flew to Dallas and rented a car.” He could see it behind her. �
�Kip gave me your rodeo schedule and described your trailer to me. The rest…was easy. Aren’t you going to invite me in, or have I come at an inconvenient time?”
His emotions were in chaos. “You shouldn’t be here.”
She studied his taut features. “If there’s a woman with you, just tell me and I’ll go away, but I won’t be happy about it.”
Paula, Paula. “There’s no one but me.”
“I can smell alcohol. It’s clear you’re in need of help. It’s group-therapy time. You and me.”
“I’m afraid that isn’t what I require.”
“Then invite me in and we’ll talk about what you do require.”
The tiny scar on her jaw was healing. In fact it was scarcely noticeable, but he was the reason it was there at all. He closed his eyes to shut out the heavenly vision before him. “I can’t do that.”
“Can’t isn’t a word in my vocabulary. As I see it, you’re afraid of commitment.”
“Paula—”
“No, no, no. Don’t interrupt. The Cody brothers are famous for not sticking to one female too long. Even Elly agrees.”
He sucked in his breath. “Your opinion of us is very flattering.”
She broke into a smile. “The truth scares you, doesn’t it? Well, guess what, I’ve had some fears of my own about what could happen to you in the arena, but I’m working on them because you’re worth it. There’s only one way to say this. I’m in love with you, Walker, warts and all.” She placed a hand on his chest, right over his heart. “Are you listening? I love you. Only you.”
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“I’ll always love Brent, of course. He’ll have a permanent place in my heart, but he left this world a while ago. We did have one talk before he was deployed about what would happen if he never came back. He made me promise to get on with living, raise our son and find another man to love.
“When I promised him, I didn’t understand what rivers of sorrow I would have to wade through. It’s true that there’s no one like Brent. There never will be. He’s the love of my past life.”
Her blue eyes welled with tears. “I’m here tonight to tell you the door to the past has closed. Another door was literally flung open when Walker Cody blazed into my life one wonderful May morning. You arrived like a bolt of lightning. The air sizzled and crackled around me, lifting the hairs on my neck. I haven’t been the same since.
Walker: The Rodeo Legend Page 18
