I turned onto my back and stared at the ceiling, frustrated. I wanted to trust Jack. I wanted to let myself want Jack. I felt this profound connection to him that I couldn't put into words, and I wanted to think that he felt that too. Bad experiences had taught me that pinning your hopes on a person only ever ended in disappointment.
"Good morning," came a gravelly voice from beside me.
I let my head fall to the side, where Jack was looking over and smiling at me. His eyes were warm and I couldn't help but return his sleepy smile.
"It's definitely not the morning anymore."
He laughed, grunting as he reached over me to grab his phone from the bedside table. He sighed and lay back. "It's 1:30."
That wasn't so bad. I didn't have to start my shift until four.
"Go back to sleep if you're tired," I told him. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"You didn't, crazy girl." Jack slipped an arm under my shoulders and rolled me, bringing my face to his chest. I was careful not to prod his injured rib, though he seemed like he was able to deal with the pain.
Me, on the other hand, I couldn't deal with pain. Not of the emotional variety, anyway. And this felt too good. Being with Jack felt too fucking good for me to deal with.
"I should go." I tried to pull out of his hold but he held me tight. "Jack, let me go."
"No."
"Why not?"
I looked up at him. He was smiling down at me, those lips curled into a deliciously devious smirk.
"I'll let you go if you can tell me that you honestly want to go," he offered. "Say the words and mean them and you're free to leave."
That wasn't fair.
"This isn't a good idea," I said. Those were words I could mean. "It was fun, but I need to get back to my life now. What's left of it, anyway. I've got lots of work to do if I'm going to set out on my own."
"I can't disagree with you there," he replied, stroking my head with his gigantic hand. "These next few days are going to suck. I disagree about this not being a good idea, on the other hand."
I opened my mouth to fight him on it, to find some way to communicate what I was going through without having to admit how deeply I felt him in my bones and how much that scared me, but he silenced me with a chaste kiss on the lips. My body liquefied.
"It's crazy," he whispered, lips brushing across mine in a feather soft touch. "This whole thing is crazy, but there's something between us, sweetheart, and I want to explore that. Don't you?"
How could I argue with that? I literally didn't even have the power to speak and so just kissed him back.
"I feel that too," I admitted afterward. "And it scares me."
"I know." He was quiet for a moment, and I listened to his heart thump in his chest. Jack reached over and tipped up my chin until our eyes met. "Why don't you come with me?" he asked. "You can leave all this drama behind. No strings."
It was tempting. The part of me that loathed confrontation would've been quite happy to just never show up for work again, to never have to worry about running into Donnie or seeing any of his goons. What a relief it would be, knowing that I could go the rest of my life without seeing Donnie's watery blue eyes narrowed with hate.
But it wouldn't be real. And it wouldn't be right.
"I know it's not much of one, but I've got a life here," I told him. "I can't run away from that. I've never known anything other than Cannon and the thought of leaving is too much, too soon. I'm sorry."
His face fell a little, but he nodded. "I understand." With a curl of his lip, he added, "Would it be alright with you if I hung around for a while then? I just don't see how I could physically walk away from you."
Something hot bloomed in my chest and I let my face fall against his shoulder, breathing in his manly, musky scent.
"I would like that," I said.
"Maybe you could even stay with me," he suggested. "For as long or as little as you'd like, of course. I don't mean to be too forward, I just know that you probably don't have anywhere else to go."
Reality hit me like a ton of bricks. Shit. I really didn't have anywhere to go, did I? I'd been living with Donnie for so long that I forgot what it was like to be on my own, and I didn't even have a clue where to start in terms of finding a place. If it wasn't this motel room, it would be one just like it but without the benefit of a resident sexy man. My only other option would be going to stay with Naomi and, while I knew she'd take me in like an injured puppy in a heartbeat, I couldn't ask that of her. She had two kids to worry about already, not to mention enough drama with her own exes to fill up a daytime soap.
"That would be great, actually." I kissed his chest and propped my chin up to look at him. "Really, really great."
"Oh yeah?" He grinned and ran a thumb across my cheek. "And how do you intend to pay for your room?"
I bit my lower lip, letting my eyelids flutter over my cheeks. Then, in a husky voice, I said, "Do you accept..."
I swear to god his breath hitched.
"American Express?"
Jack let out a burst of laughter. "Cheeky little minx."
He rolled me onto my back, jamming his body between my legs. He was hard against my stomach and my body responded instinctively, heat flaring in my core. I remembered how hot the sex was the night before and warmth stained my cheeks.
Jack rested on his forearms above me, mouth brushing lightly against mine as he spoke.
"I'm afraid we don't accept American Express," he murmured.
"What about Diners Club?"
His tongue swiped over my lower lip and I shuddered with pleasure. "No credit cards. And before you ask, cash isn't an option either."
"Then how am I expected to pay you?" I asked sweetly. "What is it you want me to give?"
"Everything."
His lips claimed mine, passion unfurling around us like golden starbursts. I sighed and let him take me, let him guide me to new, pleasurable heights. He was a better lover than Donnie ever was, and I couldn't recall ever coming as hard as I did in his arms the last time.
He fucked me slow and gentle. Hard and fast was incredible, but slow and steady made me feel like he was sampling my body like a fine wine. And the buildup of pleasure? Fucking explosive.
By the time we pulled our sweat soaked bodies apart for good, it was nearly time for me to go to work. I couldn't believe we'd spent the afternoon having sex, and what's more I couldn't believe that I still wanted more.
"I don't want to go to work," I said, sitting up. "I don't know what I'm walking into."
"What do you mean?" Jack sat up beside me, pulling me against him as he pressed his lips to the top of my head.
I sighed. "Donnie's Uncle Hank runs the Alibi. I don't think breaking up with his nephew is a fireable offense, but then again everything in this town more or less works the way the Beringers want it to. Labor laws be damned."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Jack asked.
It was tempting, which shouldn't have surprised me. Jack was walking, talking temptation, and if I could have him at my side at all times to chase away the bad guys and hold me close when I was feeling sad, I would be over the moon. That wouldn't solve any of the problems, though. It would just sweep them under the rug.
"Just another one of those things I have to deal with alone," I said regretfully.
"I respect that about you, you know." He kissed down to my shoulder, holding his lips there as he spoke. "Nobody would blame you if you asked for help. In fact, I would rather be with you from now on, just to make sure that nobody fucking touches you. All the same, you're fearless and you've got principles."
"If I was that fearless I would've broken up with Donnie a long time ago," I muttered.
"But you still did it." He nuzzled against my neck. "And you did it on your own terms."
"I guess so," I said. "I just hope I don't end up regretting it."
"You won't."
He said it with such conviction that even though I was doubting myself, at least I coul
d believe in him.
Chapter 16
Jack
Much as I tried to convince Melissa to just stay a little while longer, she eventually had to go to work, leaving me alone. I had no idea what to do with myself. If I were at home and didn't have any work to do, this was usually the time that I'd do some work on the house. It was an old place, and probably wasn't worth the frustration of fixing it up, but I couldn't just let my mom's house rot. It wasn't right. Even if I ended up leaving Bell Springs for good, I would never let that house fall to pieces.
But I wasn't in Bell Springs right now, and therefore had nothing to do. I also didn't know how long I was going to be here, but I figured it was long enough that I should find something to occupy my days.
I stretched down to pick up my jeans from the floor and fished the business card out of the back pocket. Then I tossed the jeans away and leaned back against the pillows.
Neil Buckins, it read. Project Manager.
"Fuck it," I muttered. "Worth a shot."
I grabbed my phone from the side table and punched in Neil's number. He picked up after only a couple of rings, sounding every bit as bright and cheerful as he had when I spoke to him at the bar.
"Hi Neil, this is Jack. I don't know if you remember me but—"
"Jack the fighter!" he roared. "It's great to hear from you. Heard about that mess last night...awful, just awful. That Beringer boy can be a real villain when he wants to be. I thought after that I wouldn't be hearing from you."
"Yeah, well I decided to stay in Cannon for a bit." I scratched my head, second-guessing myself on whether this was a good idea. "You said you had some work—"
"Fuck, do I ever have some work. You'd be surprised how few guys there are in this town who know which side of the hammer to use, if you know what I mean. Can you come by the job site tomorrow?"
"Sure," I said. "And thank you. I appreciate you taking a chance on me."
He laughed, and I could just picture his ribald face filling with cheer. "I bet on you once and I'll bet on you a dozen times more. See you tomorrow, Jack."
I hung up the phone and stared up at the ceiling. I guess I had a job. A real one. If everything went as smoothly as Neil seemed to think it would, then it might be a while before I needed to fight again. It was a comforting thought. I couldn't imagine having someone lay into me right now, not in the state I was in. Plus, I needed to save up all the strength I had in case Donnie or his friends tried anything while I was staying here. I would find it strange if they didn't.
I had a couple missed texts from my sister asking if everything was okay, and I decided to call her just to keep things simple. Even as the phone was ringing I still didn't know how much of what happened yesterday I was willing to reveal to her. She hated me fighting almost as much as mom did, but for now it was what I needed to do if she was going to stay in school. She worked part-time making coffee as it was, and full-time during the summers to save up money. Education didn't come cheap, but I refused to let her pass up on the opportunity to better herself.
"Hey bro," Sadie answered. "I was worried about you. Everything okay?"
"Yeah, fine," I said. It wasn't exactly a lie. The past twenty-four hours had been a mix of shit and roses, so I figured calling it even was fair. "I just had a busy night is all. How are things going with you?"
"Same old, same old," she said with a light laugh. "I've been thinking about coming home for a weekend soon. When would work for your schedule?"
My eye twitched. "Uh, I'm not home right now."
"What do you mean? Where are you?"
"I'm in Cannon," I said. "It's about thirty miles away from Bell Springs."
"Cannon..." She sounded suspicious. I didn't blame her. It wasn't like me to up and move to another city without any warning. "What are you doing there? I've never even heard of it."
"It's a small town," I said. "Probably around the same size as home. There's some work here so I'm just going to ride it out for a while."
"Riiiight."
"Really."
Sadie laughed. "Brother, you are so full of shit. What's her name?"
Damn my sister and her uncanny ability to tell when I was lying. It was annoying as hell.
"What makes you think I'm staying here for a girl?" I asked. "You know how things are at home. It's hard enough to get a job delivering pizza, never mind in construction."
"That hasn't sent you searching for greener pastures before," she pointed out. "You're a total homebody, so if you're staying in a buttfuck nowhere town called Cannon then it must be because of a girl. Either that or you've officially lost the plot."
I sighed. This wasn't a game I would be able to win. "Her name is Melissa."
"I knew it."
"You're very smart. Give yourself a pat on the back." I rolled my eyes but couldn't keep the grin from my face.
"Jack's got a girlfriend!" Sadie teased. "Jack and Melissa, sitting in a tree—"
"Do not start with me," I warned. "Just because I've never given you a wedgie doesn't mean I don't know how."
She giggled. "Alright, tough guy. I won't bother you about your girlfriend. How long are you going to be there?"
"I don't know."
"When you find out, let me know. Maybe I could come visit."
The thought of Melissa meeting my kid sister wasn't unpleasant. But not now, it was way too soon.
"Yeah, maybe. I'll keep you in the loop. Now get back to studying."
"Yeah...studying..."
Sadie might joke, but she was the hardest worker I knew. She could study for hours on end and not break a sweat.
After my phone call with Sadie, I was officially out of distractions. Now there was nothing but me, an empty motel room, and my thoughts. I wished Melissa didn't have to work. I could have spent all day in bed with her as easily as breathing.
My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since my burger the night before. Ma's Diner felt like it had happened years ago, and my stomach was feeling that too.
I took a quick shower, debating my options while the hot water cascaded down my back. I didn't know anywhere in this town other than the bus station and the Alibi, though I could probably find somewhere to eat if I put my mind to it. But why bother? I already knew where to find the Alibi and I already knew that they had the sexiest bartender in the world.
I got dressed, realizing that I was going to have to go back to Bell Springs at some point, or else I was going to have to get real used to the shirt and pants I had with me. And the blood stains on them. I couldn't even tell if it was my blood or not.
I remembered the route Melissa took when she drove me to the motel yesterday and was able to find my way down to the bar on foot. On the way I got a good look at my new locale, which looked remarkably similar to my old one. The same squat stucco houses, the same long, dusty roads, the same weathered, tired faces. Fuck, I may as well have been in an ad for rural Arizona. Everything looked and smelled the same but it wasn't comforting the way familiar sights and smells are supposed to be.
I wanted something different. I wanted out. I would stay in Cannon as long as Melissa wanted me here, but I decided right then that once I was out of Cannon, I was out of everywhere like it too. I wanted something different. I wanted big leafy trees and fields of green and rain. I wanted a fresh start. Melissa had inspired me, and I wondered how she would take the idea of making a fresh start with me eventually. I couldn't imagine anything more cathartic than the salt spray of the ocean on my skin, especially when my present nightmare was the baking sun and red dust, like I was strolling through a Martian landscape.
I reached the Alibi after about a twenty minute walk, and I was thirsty by the time I got there. And starving. The kitchen smell hit me when I walked through the door and my mouth watered.
At first I didn't notice that the place fell eerily silent. When I did notice, I looked around to see the few customers staring at me, though they quickly looked away before we could lock eyes.
Well, it looked like last night's drama had gotten more than just Neil's attention.
I looked to the bar for a friendly face, but Melissa wasn't there. She wasn't anywhere, as far as I could see, which I found unsettling to say the least. I took a table at the back and waited, ready to jump to her defense again the second she called on me.
Chapter 17
Melissa
None of the staff from last night were on shift when I first got into work, which was a small blessing. I wouldn't have minded Naomi so much, especially since she really stepped up for me when I needed her and I owed her for that, but I could do without the questions of any of the other girls who'd been around when everything went down with Donnie. It was bad enough that I was probably going to be questioned by the customers, and definitely by my boss.
I put my stuff away in the back without running into Hank, though I could tell he was in because there was light showing under the crack of his door. That was a problem for another time. I went right to work behind the bar, catching up with the regulars and trying to seem as cheery as possible.
A little over half an hour into my shift, Hank came out from the back hallway and gestured for me to follow him back to his office. Dread settled in my stomach like a lead weight, but I tossed my bar towel by the sink and went down to accept my fate. If he was going to fire me, so be it, but I wouldn't be going down without a fight.
"Hey Hank," I said cheerily when I entered his office.
"Don't Hey Hank me." His mouth flattened into a sour line. "Sit."
I took a seat across from his desk, squeezing my hands into fists out of his line of view.
"Things got fucked up last night," Hank said, scratching his head. "And from what I hear, you had front row seats."
"Are you referring to when your nephew and his friends nearly killed someone in your parking lot?"
Hank narrowed his eyes. "From what I hear, the guy who got knocked out was also the one who challenged Donnie to a fight in the first place. Is that true?"
Protecting Her Heart Page 31
