“I guess so,” Jane responds. “Except I don’t take on the world’s problems so early in the morning,” comments Jane, referring to his paper.
“Ah yes, it is a bad habit of mine, among many,” Brad says, with a bit of embarrassment.
“Well, I’m the girl that’s learned only good habits,” counters Jane, trying to make him feel more comfortable.
“Speaking of bad things, are you wearing a certain red number?” asks Brad.
Jane smiles, imagining him having x-ray vision through the table cloth and her jeans.
“Why, yes, actually I am. I am a good girl, you know, generally obedient and a people pleaser. I do what people ask of me,” she says, showing a bit more sass than usual.
“Well, that’s my kinda gal,” says Brad, rubbing her leg.
Jane feels tingles at his touch and isn’t as defensive or scared as she was the night before. She can’t believe she’s becoming more outspoken and seductive with Brad.
“Are you okay with people knowing we are together? I mean, people here seem to know you really well, and they may get ideas about us being together,” Jane asks.
Brad gives her a side smile.
“Well, around here, people know not to get into my business. I’m sure they can see how lucky I am to be with such a pretty young lady.”
Brad lifts her hand and kisses it.
Jane looks around the room and sees that no one is watching anyway. There is a freedom in not feeling self-conscious like she usually does. For her not to worry about what anyone thinks is huge—her mother, the ballet teacher, the girls at school, and Brad’s community. It provides a real sense of freedom from all these illusions and expectations she has created for herself.
Everyone else’s rules all seem so petty and fabricated now, designed to force her into being someone she’s truly not. They never ask her what she wants, how she feels, or what she dreams of. They just want her to perform and look pretty for their own purposes.
Is that what Brad is doing to her, too, making her perform for him? The thought of this makes her feel sick. Is she just a puppet to him and everyone else?
“Excuse me, I need to use the washroom,” she says, removing the napkin from her lap.
“Are you okay?” Brad asks, concerned.
“I’m fine, just feeling a bit queasy. I’ll be right back.”
Chapter 28
Jane is in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She sees a woman who is ready to take off the mask she has been hiding behind. The good Jane, the easy-going Jane, the one who always says yes and feels shy. The Jane that everyone knows will do as she is told.
She hates this side of herself. She despises it, really. She wishes she had more something—strength is it? Courage? The ability to say what is really on her mind?
Her mother never taught her a thing about life, boys, or how to take care of herself, at least what she needed to know in the big city. No one told her what it was like, and now, she is left having to hold her own, on her own.
She is confused and not sure if she is sending herself down a rabbit hole by meeting with this strange man and having to do everything he tells her to do. No one else would make her wear a red thong and orgasm five times in a 12-hour period. No one else has ever asked her to do anything remotely like this before.
Jane decides she doesn’t want to play this game anymore. Being Brad’s obedient sex kitten doesn’t feel right. She needs to take a stand and see if he’ll put his money where his mouth is. Will he still pay her even if she doesn’t follow his instructions? She doubts it, but this whole thing is making her feel sick to her stomach.
Jane goes into the bathroom stall and proceeds to undress, taking off the red thong. She pulls her jeans back up and puts the thong in her pocket as an act of protest.
I’m not this kind of girl, she tells herself. I’m from Utah. I have dreams of being a ballerina. And I don’t sleep with random strangers. I have self-respect.
She repeats this in her mind as she washes up and leaves to go back to the table to sit with Brad.
“Oh good. Are you feeling okay?” Brad asks.
“Yes, just a bit queasy. I think it will pass,” she says.
“Excellent. I took the liberty of ordering something a little extra for you—smoked salmon with chevre cheese salad.”
Jane bubbles up with upset.
“Actually, that’s okay. I just want yogurt with granola and fruit. Okay?”
Brad is taken aback by Jane’s sudden abruptness.
“Um, yes, fine. I’m sorry, I just thought you might like it before we start our day,” Brad says sheepishly.
Jane is surprised how easily Brad recoils.
“Thanks for respecting that,” she says unapologetically.
“Is there something I said that’s upset you, Jane?” Brad asks, feeling confused.
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” she replies.
Brad is worried that Jane saw something happening with the call girl, or maybe somebody told her. Has she found something out about him, or perhaps she has this other side of her personality that is a bit crazy?
“Okay, well, whenever you want to let me know, I’m here,” he says, motioning to the waiter to cancel the order of salmon.
They eat most of their breakfast in relative silence. It’s awkward now and all the energy and tenderness that was there first thing in the morning is gone. Everything feels very bleak and empty between them, to say the least.
Then Jane speaks up.
“Well, if you must know,” Jane says firmly, “I no longer want to be your sex kitten.”
She pulls out the red thong and tosses it on Brad’s plate. A few people look at them, then look away when Brad stares at them.
“Jane, I think we need to talk about this privately, okay?” he says.
“Why, so you can tell me that it’s all over and our deal is off? I get it, Brad. That’s fine, but at least I’ll have my dignity,” she says.
“No, because I want you to stay, no matter what. No more games or instructions if you don’t want. This should be as much fun for you as it is for me,” he says, reaching out his hand and wanting to make a connection.
Jane looks back, a bit stunned that he’s responding this way in front of everyone. She looks around the room. Others are watching to see how she will react.
She reaches her hand back, a bit limp and hesitant. He holds it gently and warmly connects to her. “I mean it, okay? I told you at the beginning, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. This is fun for me, but it needs to be for you, too, okay? I never want you to feel uncomfortable.”
He looks deeply into her eyes and she can feel his sincerity. Her shield is melting.
“And honestly, I’m proud of you for taking a stand for yourself, for not letting yourself just go along and do what I tell you. That makes you a strong and true woman, Jane. It makes me want to be around you more, you know.”
A strong and true woman, Jane repeats to herself, taking in Brad’s perspective of her. I’m a strong and true woman.
She feels she can trust him again, that he really does see her for who she is, and he is willing to have her there with him no matter what she does.
Jane reaches over and takes the thong back and puts it in her pocket.
“Honestly, I kinda like how it feels when I wear it,” she says, smirking.
“Well, that’s good. I like the thought of you wearing it,” he replies, reaching for her hand. “Wanna go down to the beach?”
“Yeah, but let me put this back on first,” she says.
Chapter 29
They stroll together along the beach and begin to share more about who they are. Brad holds onto Jane’s sandals so she isn’t burdened by them.
“So, tell me more about you, Jane,” he asks, pressing his hand against her back. She can feel the warmth from his hand go up her spine and she feels like she could lean back on him forever.
“Well, what do you
want to know? I’ve told you how I got into ballet. I’m not sure what else there is to share,” she replies.
Nobody has ever really asked much about her before.
“What’s your favorite color. Wait, let me guess. Pink,” he says.
“Oh, cause all ballerinas wear pink, right?” she says.
“Well, yeah,” Brad jokes.
“Wrong. Purple. My favorite color is purple. I even painted my room purple, and got my first tutu in purple.”
“Wow, I’m glad I asked,” he said. “I would hate to buy you something in pink. Purple it is!” he notes.
“Let me ask you something. Do you always buy your friends,” Jane asks seriously. “I mean, is there anything more than money for you?”
Brad has to really think about this. All his life, people have been around him and he would either foot the bill or buy something so they would stay friends. He can’t really say he has ever had a friend who didn’t expect this of him. He just sees money as part of life, and everyone knows he has a lot of it. None of his friends are really down and out, either.
“Well, honestly, money just comes easy to me. Most of the people I know expect me to buy them something. It is kind of how I keep friends, I guess,” he says, analyzing this for the first time. “And most of the people I know make a lot of money, anyway.”
“So you have friends who are kind of like business transactions then,” points out Jane.
“Yeah, I guess you could put it that way.” Brad looks a bit disturbed. “Just like how my parents treated me,” Brad adds.
“I’m sorry, that was out of line. It just seems a bit sad, that’s all,” she says.
“No, you’re right, that’s exactly how it is,” says Brad. “As they say, it’s lonely at the top.”
Jane could feel this deep truth about Brad’s life. He really hasn’t had friends. Just people around him who like him for what he can offer them, not much more.
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I don’t have friends either. Most people who know me expect something of me, to be something for them that they want. I’m kinda sick of it now, to be honest,” Jane says openly.
“You know what, Brad. I’m going to give you a challenge. When you have an urge to give something to me, I want you to do something for me, no money involved. Just something that comes from inside of you, like writing a note, picking flowers, or… rubbing my feet,” she says in a cheeky way.
She side swipes him to show him she’s joking.
“Wow, you know, I think that might actually be hard for me, but I’m in,” Brad accepts, feeling like he’s moving into new territory with the relationship.
“Great. I want you to know there’s more to me than money,” assures Jane. “I actually like being around people who are decent and caring, you know? Not just rich.”
“Well, that will feel a bit foreign to me, Jane, I have to say,” he says. “But I like that about you. It’s refreshing.”
“Thanks. Can’t take the Utah outta the gal, you know,” she says, feeling more like herself now.
“So, tell me, Brad, what’s your favorite color? Wait, let me guess—black!”
“Ha-ha,” he says sarcastically. “No, actually, my favorite color is silver.”
“Silver? I don’t think I’ve met anyone who has silver as their favorite color,” she remarks. “Cause it’s like money?”
“Oh, you’re full of jokes today, aren’t you? No, because it’s meaningful, a metal that lasts a long time, and it’s shiny, like no other color in the spectrum.”
“So you always have to be different than the pack, eh?” she says.
“Wow, you really know how to psychoanalyze someone, don’t you? Underneath that sweet façade is a street savvy woman. Where did you learn how to read people?” he inquires.
“Well, because I’m a bit of an introvert, I’ve spent most of my time watching people. At school, I could see who the mean girls were, spot the cool geeks, and figure out the things that mattered to people. It’s my super-power, I guess. Thing is, no one took that much time to care about what mattered to me,” she reflected.
“I think we’re a lot alike, Jane,” Brad says, putting his arm around her. “Is it okay I do this?” he asks.
“Sure. It’s nice,” Jane says, snuggling into him a little closer.
They walk the length of the beach, then return to the hotel. Brad gives Jane her sandals as they step into the hotel lobby, only to be met by the manager. They step into the hotel lobby and the manager comes up to Brad.
“Sir, there is an urgent call for you. Your investment banker needs to contact you immediately,” the manager says.
Can you excuse me, Jane. This seems urgent and honestly, it may take a while. Can I meet you later for lunch? I’ll have my driver pick you up here at the front entrance and bring you to meet me,” he says.
“Yes, that’s fine. Good luck,” she says encouragingly.
Brad feels her softness penetrate into him. He finds her gentleness so touching.
“Thanks.”
He walks away and Jane goes to her room, laying on her bed with flutters in her heart.
As the fan spins over top of her, she feels the cool breeze coming through the curtains. Life feels good, easy, and light all of a sudden. She falls asleep and takes a nap for an hour, finding respite in simply trusting herself for the first time.
Chapter 30
Jane gets up and changes into the white bikini. She wants to relax in the hot tub before heading into town for lunch. She feels so free and beautiful. Is it possible that Brad is unlocking something inside of her, a part of her truth and her heart that has been hidden all these years?
She grabs a large towel from the bathroom and wraps it around herself. Putting her hair up, she recognizes a light in her eyes that hasn’t been present for ages.
Jane leaves her room and heads down to the hotel lobby to ask where the pool is. She isn’t even self-conscious about people seeing her in a bikini. In fact, she kind of likes being noticed for once. Brad has given her the gift of freedom to be herself, and she feels so much more confidence.
“Excuse me,” she asks the gentleman at the desk. “Where is the hot tub?”
“Yes, ma’am. It’s through the doors over there and down the stairs. Would you like someone to escort you there?”
“Oh no, that’s okay, but thank you. Have a good day.”
“And you, as well,” responds the clerk.
The hotel staff has noticed how she’s changed already. She’s not walking in a shy way with her head held low, nor is she just waiting for Brad to tell her what to do or where to be. They usually see him bring women in who don’t have a backbone, who just fawn over him while he bosses them around, only to cheat on them with escorts.
Quite honestly, the hotel staff doesn’t like Brad that much, but they pretend they do. He’s demanding and expects everyone to be there for him no matter what. The hotel can’t afford to lose the huge amount he pays, so they meet his every request. Plus, he is generous with tips.
For them, it is quite refreshing to see Jane here. She’s like a whole other type of woman than his usual guests. They wonder how he even met her. She looks so normal, kind, down-to-earth, and has some values and morals to her. At first, they thought maybe she was his niece, but seeing how they were at breakfast caused them to reconsider.
Jane walks through the door to head for the hot tub. Her flip flops making a loud noise down the hall, reminding her of how unsophisticated she feels.
As she walks over, she notices she is not the only one there. There are two bathrobes hanging on the hook, one blue and the other white, and the slippers are on the ground.
Jane opens the first set of doors and through the other glass door she sees Brad sitting in the hot tub. Jane is a bit confused because she thought he’d been called away for important business. His arms are back and he is laying there looking relaxed.
Jane imagines going up to him from behind and covering his eyes w
ith her hands, then kissing him on his neck until he gets goosebumps. She’d want him to grab her and pull her into his arms in the hot tub and kiss her under her chin, on her neck, down to her cleavage, then put his hands all over her tits until they are hard and dying to be sucked. He’d reach down into her bikini and stroke her with his palm until she gets all turned on.
Jane daydreams all this, wondering if she has the courage to actually do it. She knows Brad would want to do it, too.
Jane starts to open the other door, ready to surprise him, but she sees a woman in her thirties with blonde hair sitting in a lounge chair. It looks like she is talking to Brad from behind. He’s not saying much, it seems.
Then the woman gets up out of the chair. Her body is firm, she has large tits, and she is fully tanned. She walks over to Brad and steps into the hot tub. Brad lifts his head and moves over for her to sit.
She seems to get closer to him. Too close. It looks like she is rubbing his leg and trying to lean in to kiss him. Brad doesn’t move her hand away, but he doesn’t let her kiss him. She looks rejected and moves away, sitting in the hot tub.
Brad waves his hand to show he’s not interested in whatever she is saying. The woman gets out of the hot tub and goes to get her things. She comes toward the door to leave.
Jane steps back and moves away, not wanting to be seen. She walks quickly down the hall and back to the front desk area with tears in her eyes. She doesn’t know how to contain them.
One of the clerks says to Jane, “Done so fast?”
“It was too cold,” Jane says, her head hanging down so no one will see she is crying.
“Oh, that is so strange. I checked the temperature myself. I’ll be sure to get someone to check it out,” says the clerk.
“Don’t bother. I’m sure it’s fine,” Jane replies, not wanting her lie to be discovered.
Jane walks over to the beach and finds a hammock to fall into. She starts sobbing quietly, curled up and without anyone there to comfort her. She feels sorry for herself but then realizes Brad didn’t take the bait. It actually looked like he wasn’t interested and didn’t respond to her advance. But why? She is so beautiful, closer to his age, looks like she has it together, and she’s confident. Why wouldn’t he want to be with her? She seems like she would be exactly his type.
Protecting Her Heart Page 73
