She shook her head. “You won’t.”
Cam closed his eyes and groaned. He wrapped his arms around her in a vice-like grip, unable to resist her any longer.
God, he needed her.
He lowered his head and kissed her. There was no subtlety in the kiss, no gentleness or finesse. Only passion and raw need. But she stayed with him, returning his passion, giving solace. He greedily lapped it up, taking everything she had to give.
But he wanted, needed more. He lifted her and she wrapped her long, slender legs around his waist. He buried his face against her soft, sweet-smelling neck, inhaling her clean, floral scent. At the same time, he snaked his hand up her thigh and began to pull down her panties.
“Tell me to stop,” he rasped. “Tell me now while I still can.”
She kissed his jaw. “No, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
“Scarlet—”
She stopped his protest with a kiss, one that was nearly as needy as his own. Tongues swirled and danced and mated, hands touched, caressed. In a couple of swift moves, her panties were gone and so were his sweatpants, and he was deep inside her. He drove into her over and over, harder and harder, pushing her against the surface of the workshop wall. She felt so good, so warm and wet and welcoming.
A moment later, her muscles clenched around his cock, and he heard her breathless cry as she came. “Cameron!”
As her long legs tightened around him, he followed her over the edge, spilling himself into her as wave after wave of exquisite pleasure washed over him. He clung to her, their bodies still joined.
He couldn’t let her go. He needed her. His world was spinning out of control, and Scarlet was his only anchor in a turbulent sea.
Scarlet made a small sound of discomfort that jerked him back to his senses. He’d crushed her against the wall, hurt her. Immediately, he pulled out of her and set her on her feet. As he grabbed his sweatpants and pulled them on he called himself a hundred different names – bastard, coward, irresponsible fool. He’d used her to assuage his fear and pain and for that, he could never forgive himself.
“I’m—”
She put her finger over his mouth, stopping him. “No. Don’t you dare say you’re sorry. I’m not the least bit sorry.”
“Damn it, Scarlet, I didn’t even use a condom.” God, what if they’d just made a baby? It would be his nightmare with Laura all over again. How could he be so stupid?
“I’m on the pill.” She pulled her panties on under her dress, avoiding his eyes. “So you don’t have to worry.”
Relief hit him hard, followed quickly by an unexpected emotion. Regret. He shook his head.
She reached into her purse and pulled out her phone. “I’m going to call Ethan and tell him you’re okay, and then you’re going to tell me what’s going on with Tessa.”
He couldn’t talk about Tessa. At least not yet. “I need a shower.”
He brushed past her. Once he rounded the corner of the workshop, he ran the rest of the way to the house. If running away made him a coward, then so be it.
Cam stripped off in his small bathroom and stepped into the shower, turning the water to the hottest setting he could stand. He braced himself with one hand against the wall, letting the hard spray beat against the back of his neck. He didn’t understand why Scarlet would want to stay with him. The memory of her soft skin and her sweet scent came back in a rush. She was an incredibly beautiful woman. But it was the hunger in her kiss that he remembered most. It was almost as if she’d needed him as much as he needed her.
The shower curtain rustled. Scarlet slipped into the shower and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his back. “Don’t shut me out, Cameron. Stay with me. Talk to me.”
He knew what she meant. He’d been trying to push her away since they met. So had she. But somehow, they always found their way back to each other. Maybe he didn’t want to run anymore.
But sharing his thoughts, his burdens, even with family, didn’t come easy for him. He and Laura had never had the sort of relationship where they told each other their deepest secrets, or fondest wishes. Cam didn’t know if he had anything to give to Scarlet.
He turned in her arms to hold her and just like that he wanted, needed her again. He kissed her, pulling her hips against his erection, his body communicating the feelings he couldn’t put in words.
He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. After wrapping a towel around her, he lifted her from the tub. Scarlet rested her head against his shoulder and silently watched his face as he carried her to his bedroom. When he set her on her feet, he grabbed the towel and carefully dried her hair and body. But he couldn’t stop himself from touching her silky skin. He kissed the pale freckles sprinkled across her shoulders, and inhaled her sweetness, trailed his hand down her stomach to the cleft between her legs. When he inserted a finger, he found her slick and ready. She moaned his name, the sound fueling his desire.
She leaned against him, her hands roaming across his chest. “Cameron. Please.”
Cam pulled back the sheets, then lifted her into his arms once more and placed her in the middle of his bed before lying down beside her. He wanted to look at her – her pale, creamy skin, her perfect breasts with their rosy nipples, the triangle of red hair between her legs.
“You’re so beautiful.” His voice sounded thick with longing, even to his own ears.
“So are you.” She laid her hand on his cheek, her blue eyes imploring him. “Make love to me, Cameron. Please.”
He kissed her, softly, gently, loving the taste of her. This time when he made love to her, he wanted to take it slow. He wanted to take his time and make it good for her.
She deserved that much.
He trailed kisses across the delicate bone structure of her cheek and her jaw, over the golden freckles sprinkled lightly on her shoulder and collarbone. When he reached her breast, he licked the nipple with his tongue. She moaned and arched her back.
“Please, please, please.”
He knew what she wanted and could deny her nothing. Taking the taut nipple into his mouth, he sucked and licked and gently pulled while she moaned and writhed, her hands gripping the sheets. Cam gave equal attention to the other breast before moving his explorations further down her body. Her skin was soft and smooth and her fragrance surrounded him with sweetness, as if he were enfolded in a bouquet of roses. He smiled to himself at the ridiculous, romantic comparison, but somehow it seemed right. Here, in his bed with Scarlet, every touch, every scent felt right. Perfect, even.
He positioned himself between her legs, his hands kneading her buttocks. The first touch of his tongue to her mound made her suck in breath, her legs trembling.
“Yes, yes. Please, Cameron. Please.”
He wouldn’t make her beg any longer. Spreading the folds of her delicate flesh with his fingers, he exposed the tiny nub of nerves and took it into his mouth. She screamed her release, her body shaking with her orgasm. He stayed with her, suckling and licking until she came again and again.
He couldn’t wait any longer. Reaching across her to his nightstand, he found a box of condoms and quickly tore open a packet. She pushed herself up on her elbows as he slid the condom over his cock.
“Didn’t you believe me when I said I was on the pill?”
“I believe you.”
“Then why are you using a condom?”
He pushed her back against the pillows. “I also believe in insurance.”
He kissed her tenderly and was gratified when she responded in kind. He pulled back to look into her face, wanting her to understand. “As much as I love Tessa, I was careless when she was conceived. She didn’t ask to be born into the upheaval we’ve created. I won’t do that again to another child, or to you.”
She stared up at him again with an inscrutable look, one that wouldn’t allow him into her thoughts. Finally, she caressed his cheek, the barest hint of smile on her lips. “I understand.”
He kisse
d her again, and she wrapped her legs around his waist and held him tightly. He sighed with pleasure as he entered her, willing his body to hang on a little longer to prolong the ecstasy.
“You are so fucking sweet.”
He heard her whisper against his neck. “So are you.”
Then he started moving, setting a rhythm that she followed in perfect synchronization. His release built as he pushed harder, faster into her. But he held on to the last shred of his control, desperately wanting to bring her to release once more. He slipped his hand between them, inserting a finger inside her and finding the knot of nerves once more. He curled his finger, pressing gently against it. Beneath him, Scarlet’s eyes flashed open and she gasped.
“Oh, God. What are you doing to me, Cameron?”
With that, she came once more. He gratefully followed her, spilling himself into her. He held Scarlet tightly as spasms rocked his body over and over. She was the only thing that made sense right now, the only thing that kept him from flying into a million pieces.
And for a few moments, he’d lost himself in her.
But now, as his body settled and his heart rate returned to normal, it was time to face reality.
Tessa was gone.
Scarlet nestled close against Cameron’s side, her head resting on his chest. She could hear the steady beating of his heart, strong and reassuring. Their legs were entwined in the twisted sheets, joining them together. That was fine with her. She could stay like this with Cameron for days.
I could stay forever.
She pushed the thought from her mind. Forever was something she didn’t do.
But she couldn’t deny that what they’d just shared struck a chord deep in her soul. She’d never experienced such a deep connection with a man before. Making love to Cameron was more than a simple physical act. When they’d made love, they’d soared to another plane where they were emotionally and spiritually in sync.
Scarlet blew out a shaky breath. It was dangerous to fantasize about higher planes and relationships that lasted forever. Her track record with relationships on any kind of plane was abysmal. Better to enjoy this for what it was – great sex with a handsome man, no strings attached.
Besides, she had more important things to consider. Cameron needed her, and she needed to find out what was going on with Tessa.
She looked up into his face and laid her hand on his cheek. “Can you tell me what happened?”
His weary sigh told her how difficult it was for him to talk about his daughter. “Laura has a new boyfriend. Apparently, he got a job in California and Laura’s going with him and taking Tessa.”
“Can she do that? I mean, as her father, don’t you have some say about where she lives? I thought that was what custody agreements were for.”
“We don’t have a custody agreement.”
“What do you mean?”
“We were never actually married. I wanted to marry her when I found out she was pregnant, but Laura refused.” He gave a bitter laugh. “I guess she was waiting for a better offer.”
“But even if you weren’t legally married, you still have rights as Tessa’s father. I’m not a lawyer, but I’m sure you have a say in where your daughter lives. We should contact a lawyer and—”
“Leave it alone, Scarlet.”
She pushed herself to a sitting position and pulled the sheet around her breasts. “I don’t understand. You love Tessa, I know you do. You’re an amazing father. Why wouldn’t you fight for her?”
He pushed himself up and sat on the edge of the bed, turning his back on her. “I said leave it alone. You don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to me. What don’t I understand? Talk to me, Cameron!”
He turned his head, his eyes blazing. “You want to understand? Understand this. I’m an alcoholic. Every day is a struggle. Every day I think about having a drink, and every day I have to fight against the beast. What judge in his right mind is going to grant any kind of custody to an alcoholic?”
“So, you’re not even going to try?”
He stood and faced her, completely oblivious to his nakedness. “Did you hear what I said? I’m an alcoholic!”
“Of course I heard you! I’d have to be deaf not to.”
“Then why are you still here? Why aren’t you running as far and fast as you can?”
Good question.
“Because I know you love your daughter and you’d do anything for her. I know you’ve been sober for three years and even though that beast is with you always, you’re strong enough to slay that dragon every single day. You keep fighting because you want to be there for Tessa, and your family. And I’m proud of you.”
Her last words were spoken on a whisper. Tears pricked at her eyes, but she sniffed them back. For a long minute, Cameron stared at her, as if he couldn’t understand what she was saying.
Finally, he shook his head. “You knew about me, that I’m an alcoholic? All this time?”
“Yes. Ethan told us before he and Harper left on their honeymoon. He was worried about you.”
He looked up at the ceiling. “He thought I was going to fall off the wagon because of our argument.”
“But you didn’t, did you?”
“No.”
“Maybe you should give yourself a little credit. And maybe you should have some faith that a judge will see what I see when I look at you – a strong man who has his daughter’s best interests at heart.”
A mixture of surprise, confusion, and relief skipped across his face. At last, he sighed and sat on the bed once more, this time facing her. “I don’t know why you have so much faith in me, but thank you.”
“It’s easy to have faith in you because I know what a good dad you are.”
He turned away, closing his eyes and bowing his head. “I’m not sure that will matter anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“Laura says Tessa isn’t my child.”
For a moment, Scarlet couldn’t speak. The fact that Laura would stoop so low astounded her. It angered her, too. How could she do this to Cameron?
“She’s lying.” She couldn’t stop the quaver in her voice. “Tessa looks exactly like you. She has your dark hair and eyes.”
He shrugged, the nonchalant gesture not able to mask his pain. “It could simply be a coincidence.”
“I don’t believe it’s a coincidence. I think Laura’s lying because she knows taking Tessa away from you is wrong. We have to fight for her. A DNA test will settle the argument once and for all.”
He started shaking his head before Scarlet finished speaking, his jaw set in stubborn firmness. “No.”
“If it’s a question of money, I’m sure Ethan will help you.”
“No. I’m not taking Ethan’s money. This is my problem, not his.”
“Tessa is Ethan’s niece. Don’t you think he’d want to help both of you?”
“Ethan’s already done too much for me. I can’t ask him to help with this, too.”
She touched his arm, surprised at the tension locking his muscles. “Cameron, please. Don’t let your pride stand in the way of your daughter’s future. Do you think Laura is a good mother? Will Tessa be safe with her as her only parent?”
He hesitated, and Scarlet clearly read his feelings. “You’re worried about Tessa being alone in California with Laura and her boyfriend, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” He swallowed and turned his face away. “I don’t think she’d ever physically harm Tessa, but I’m worried about neglect. Laura isn’t exactly maternal.”
“Then you have to fight for her. If the tables were turned, if you’d been the one holding the winning lottery ticket instead of Ethan, and if he was fighting for custody of his child, wouldn’t you want to help him?”
His answer came swiftly. “Of course.”
“Then why can’t you believe he’d want to help you?”
He sighed and shook his head. “It’s not the money, not really. I know Ethan would want to help. If it w
as only a question of money, I’d get down on my knees and beg for Tessa’s sake. I’d beg the judge to give me sole custody. Hell, I’d even beg Laura to stay in Minnesota.”
“I don’t understand.”
“What if a DNA test proves that Tessa isn’t my daughter? What then? Would I lose all access to her forever? Since Laura and I were never married, she wouldn’t be my daughter in the eyes of the law. At least, if I don’t know, there’s still a chance she could be my daughter.”
The pain in his voice nearly brought her to tears. But tears weren’t what he needed right now. Scarlet snuggled close and laid her hand on his chest. “Tessa is your daughter no matter what any test says. She’ll always be your daughter.”
“I know.” His voice choked with emotion. “But the legal system might not see it that way.”
“All the more reason to get a good lawyer and find out for sure where you stand. Maybe the worry is worse than the reality.”
He kissed her forehead. “Yeah. I can’t pretend this will all go away. I know I have to do something.”
Scarlet intertwined her fingers with his. “You’re not alone in this, you know. You’ve got your family and for what it’s worth, you’ve got me, too.”
He gently tipped her chin to look into her eyes. His lips curved in a sad smile. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
As he kissed her, Scarlet gave herself over to the emotion welling inside her. Right now, all she wanted to do was ease his pain. She’d worry about what happened next tomorrow.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
At seven the next morning, Cam pulled his truck up to Scarlet and Maggie’s cottage. Scarlet pulled in next to him. For a moment, they simply looked at each other through the open windows of their vehicles. God, she was amazing. His body came to life just thinking about the things they’d done to each other. He realized with a start that until Scarlet came into his life, he’d never made love with a woman before. He’d had sex with plenty of women, but it had never felt so right, so spiritual that it transcended the physical.
Spiritual? He gave his head a shake and opened the door of the truck. He didn’t do hearts and flowers. But he couldn’t deny the way his heart lifted when he looked into her amazing blue eyes.
Secrets and Solace Page 15
