Lost Without You

by Heather Thurmeier

  But she had to be careful.

  Chapter Three

  Chip reveled in the knowledge that he’d possibly just wormed his way into a tiny fissure in the wall … no, fortress, surrounding Zoe. He hadn’t realized it would be as easy as a look, a smile, and a touch. If he’d known, he would have tried long ago.

  Of course, that would have gotten him in trouble before. Producers couldn’t flirt with contestants. But now they were both crew so the rules had changed.

  But his feelings for Zoe hadn’t changed at all.

  He was still as captivated by her as he was the first time he’d laid eyes on her. Still as amused by her as the first time he’d spoken to her. And still as distracted by her as he’d been the first time he’d watched her walk away. Damn, she had a great ass.

  “If this is what you’re like when there’re no cameras around,” he squeezed her hand again and dropped his voice low so only she would hear, “I wonder what you’re like when there aren’t people around either.”

  She pulled her hand out from his as if it were on fire and picked up her sandwich instead. Her shoulders went back, the softness in her features replaced by hard edges and narrowed eyes.

  Wow. He really must have said the wrong thing. Damn it. And right after he felt like he made progress with her. He may have briefly found a tiny crack in her wall, but she’d patched it up with plaster and cement.

  “Sorry, Zoe. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  “I’m not uncomfortable.” Her voice was confident but he wasn’t an idiot. She was lying through her perfectly white teeth.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Cormack,” said one of the younger production assistants they’d hired from college for the summer. “But I need to put this box of supplies away and no one told me where to put them.”

  He sighed. Why did he have to do all the work around here? Seriously. If he took a sick day, production would come to a screeching halt, which was exactly the reason why he’d never taken one.

  “Well,” he started then paused, trying to come up with the girl’s name. When he couldn’t, he continued. “What kind of supplies are they?”

  She set down the box with a thunk on the table and pulled a couple of handfuls of cords out. Instantly, the cords unraveled and twisted together. The sight of tangled wires and cords annoyed him like nothing else.

  “What are you doing? You’re making a mess,” he snapped, sounding a little meaner than he’d meant to. But really, how hard was it to pick up a mic pack without completely tangling the cord?

  “I … ” She blushed and looked at her feet.

  He clenched and unclenched his jaw a couple of times. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know what she was doing. She was new. He had to remember that.

  She fumbled with the mic packs, dropping one. As she attempted to catch it before it hit the floor, the others in her hand slipped, tangling even more.

  “Oh for the love of — ” He jumped up and grabbed the things from her hands while she bent to get the mic pack from the floor.

  “This is how you hold mic packs,” he said, wrapping the cord and securing it around the black box. “Not whatever that is you’re doing now.”

  “I’ll fix them all. I promise. Just point me in the direction of where to put them.”

  “We have two supply tents, one for film stuff and one for food stuff. These mic packs and other related film things would go in the — ”

  “The film supply tent?”

  Really? There was still a question in her mind?

  “Yes,” he answered as gently as he could.

  “Okay, thanks. Sorry to bother you.” The girl shoved the rest of the things back into the box, heaved it into her arms, and scurried away.

  Chip gathered his trash from lunch and Zoe’s as well and threw it all in the garbage. When he turned back to the table, Zoe stood, shaking her head at him.

  “What?” he asked.

  “You’d catch more flies with honey, you know? That poor girl was obviously trying so hard to please you and you were rather rude to her. And here I thought you’d changed by how nice you were to me. I guess you’re still the same old Chip I remember from the previous shows.”

  Without giving him a chance to respond, she walked out of the tent. He followed quickly, not wanting to let her walk away while thinking badly of him. Not that he should care so much what she thought about him, but he did. And knowing she thought he’d acted like a jerk on not one, but many occasions apparently, really bothered him.

  They came out into the sunlight just as a cluster of sound people were walking in. One of them stopped and stared. “Zoe Oliver?” she asked.

  Zoe smiled as if she was completely comfortable meeting her adoring “fans.” Maybe she was. She had been in the spotlight a lot over the last year or so thanks to his shows. And she always seemed to like being the center of attention. This was probably fun for her, having a fan at base camp.

  “Hi,” Zoe said, offering her hand to the girl. Her voice was sweet and charming. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Oh my God, I can’t believe it’s really you,” the girl said, rushing up to Zoe and throwing her arms around her. “I’ve loved you since you were on The One!”

  Zoe visibly blanched, all the color draining from her face as the girl hugged her tight. She pulled at the girl’s arms, forcing her to let go, and took a quick step back toward Chip, distancing herself from the sound girl.

  “That’s great. But how about next time you love me from a distance instead of invading my personal space, okay? If you’ll excuse me, it’s been a long day and I need to prepare for my hosting spot in front of the camera. Some of us actually need to look good and rested each day.”

  Zoe strode off toward her tent leaving the girl looking like she’d just been kicked in the gut.

  “I think she’s still in shock from being host and forced to sleep in a tent with no electricity,” Chip said to the sound girl. “You know how these princess-types are. Try not to take it personally.”

  The girl wandered on into the kitchen tent not looking very convinced and Chip sprinted to catch up with Zoe. He fell into step beside her.

  “So what was that thing you said earlier about catching flies with honey?” he teased, trying to lighten her mood. He didn’t want her to have a bad first day on the show. That could set a bad standard for the rest of filming.

  He didn’t want to see her upset either.

  “Shut it, Chip. You were rude to an employee who was just trying to do the right work for you. That girl assaulted me. She needed to be put in her place.”

  “Assaulted you? From where I stood, it looked like a hug.”

  “Well it felt like an invasion of privacy and I’m not interested in having it happen again. So, how about you do me a favor and tell your staff to keep their grabby hands to themselves?”

  “Doesn’t it seem to you that you’re overreacting just a tad to the whole situation?”

  They got to her tent and she paused after unzipping the door. She turned to face him. Her entire demeanor had changed from what it had been earlier. First she’d been playful and funny, then rude and hostile, and now … now she looked as if she might cry. Had Zoe always been such a whirlwind of emotions?

  “I just don’t want people to touch me, okay? Is that so terrible? I’m not one of those touchy-feely girls who likes to be hugged by people. So I’d really appreciate it if you’d tell your staff how I feel or else I’m afraid we may have more incidents like this last one. Got it?”

  She disappeared into her tent and he fought the urge to go after her and comfort her. There was more to this situation then some stupid, harmless hug, but following her when she was upset and forcing her to talk would be like convincing the Great Wall of China to scoot over an inch. It just wasn’t going to happen.
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  • • •

  Chip clenched his jaw while contestant Rick flirted with Zoe. Again. If he’d known Rick would take such a liking to Zoe — his Zoe — he would have picked someone else to fill the fourth spot on that team. After all, this wasn’t a dating show and he certainly hadn’t been trying to fix anyone up with Zoe … himself not included.

  Zoe was here to host and hopefully fall for him just as much as he’d already fallen her. He’d wanted to be with her for so long. He was tired of waiting for his chance with her and there was no way he’d let some new guy waltz into her life and take away his chance now.

  She was definitely not here to fall for some random jerk who got off on fishing and shooting things. Zoe wouldn’t go for that kind of guy anyway. She was way too high maintenance for that lifestyle. Being at base camp was even pushing her to her limits. A guy like this one — huge, scruffy beard, and who probably wouldn’t miss not having a shower all that much — was not her kind of guy.

  And yet there she was with him, laughing at his unfunny jokes and acting like he was some kind of Hollywood heartthrob. It didn’t make sense.

  It also pissed him right the hell off.

  But he was the producer and she was the host who was currently doing her job. Why she had to be so goddamn charismatic on TV at this particular moment, he didn’t know.

  “Rick, you’re too much.” She giggled.

  She. Giggled.

  Zoe Oliver never giggled. The only time he’d heard that sound come out of her body was when she’d been trying to win the affections of Brad from The One. Was she trying to win Rick’s affections too?

  Chip cursed under his breath. Thank goodness he was far enough away from the cameras and never wore a mic pack. He really didn’t need that heard by the world.

  “You’re right, I am too much for most girls, baby, but I think you can handle me. Why don’t you come back here tonight and we’ll test my theory?”

  Holy shit. Really? How did he pass the screening test and why the hell wasn’t Zoe bothered by that comment?

  “I can’t tonight. But I’ll keep your offer in mind.”

  Rick whispered something in her ear. Chip found himself walking toward Zoe on instinct.

  “Zoe, we still have other camps to visit tonight before it gets too late. We really should head out.”

  Zoe pulled back from Rick, giving him a flirtatious smile.

  Why didn’t she look at Chip that way? He’d been waiting for that look the entire day and nothing. But five minutes with Mr. Wilderness and she was flirting up a storm.

  “I’ve got to go and you’ve got to start behaving yourself or I’ll be kicked off the show and you’ll get a new host.” Zoe’s tone was teasing.

  “Well, we can’t have that now can we, baby.” Rick winked. “I’ll be good … until you ask me not to be.”

  Zoe gave Rick one last look then waved at the rest of the team. “See you guys tomorrow at the new location on the map. Try to get a good night’s sleep. You’re going to need it.”

  It was the same way she’d said goodbye at the other camps, just as he’d directed her to before they left base camp earlier. It was the perfect line to lead into the next challenge when they edited the clips together for the show and promo spots.

  If only he could think of the perfect line for himself that would lead to him being on the receiving end of Zoe’s flirtatious nature.

  • • •

  Zoe nodded her head and tried her best to look interested while the fifth and final team showed her around their camp. The four men, all rowing buddies on an Ivy League team, were pretty darn proud of the job they’d done around camp. And they had every right to be proud. There progress on setting up camp was amazing.

  Like the other teams, they’d made a fire and pitched their tents, but this team had also dug a latrine, organized and stored their food, and started building furniture out of logs and branches to set around the fire.

  Zoe had seen all of it for filming, except the latrine. She’d taken their word for the workmanship of that. Then she quietly thanked Chip for providing base camp with a bathroom that at least sort of resembled normal. If she’d had to use an outdoor bathroom like these guys … well, she would have walked off the show long ago.

  The only other team that had even remotely set up camp as well as these guys was the outdoorsy team with Rick as their leader. The rest of his team members, his brother and sister-in-law and high-school aged nephew, had done a good job on their camp.

  But this rowing team really knew how to work together, and it showed. As did their muscles.

  She’d thought Rick was built, but these boys looked as if they’d been sculpted to resemble the perfect male specimen thanks to hours spent on the water practicing their rowing techniques. Obviously, all that hard work building muscles had paid off. They were easily one of the leading teams now on their survival skill alone.

  “Looks like you guys have everything covered here.” She made a big deal of really looking around. “I guess there’s not much else for me to do but give you the new map.”

  “What new map?” one of the men asked.

  “Tomorrow you’ll use this map to find your way to a new location where you’ll meet up with the other teams and compete in your first team challenge.”

  “You mean this wasn’t the first challenge?” another guy asked, motioning to the camp around him.

  Zoe nodded and smiled. “It was. But this game isn’t only about surviving. It’s also about competing against the other teams. I’ll tell you more about the challenges tomorrow with the rest of the teams present. Now, before I leave, do you have any other questions for me? I’ll try my best to answer them.”

  One of the guys who’d been fairly quiet the whole time, standing at the back of the pack as if he didn’t want to be noticed, finally stepped forward. “Do you have a question?” she asked him, getting a good look at him for the first time. There was something sort of familiar about him. Probably just because she’d seen him briefly when she’d announced the start of the show.

  He shook his head, but narrowed his eyes at her. It made her feel as if she was being evaluated. Inspected. It made her uncomfortable.

  “Okay then,” she said, forcing herself to relax. “I’ll see you all tomorrow. Try to get a good night’s sleep. You’re going to need it.”

  She smiled for the camera one last time and fought the urge to roll her eyes at having to say the same stupid line five times. Hopefully tomorrow she’d only have to say things once since she’d be meeting with all the teams at the same time.

  Chip and Zoe started down the barely marked path that would take them back to base camp saying nothing for the first few minutes.

  “You did great today … with all of this,” Chip said.

  “Thanks. I feel like I’m just copying what I saw Spencer do when he’d hosted our shows. It feels … weird.”

  “Well, you’d never know it from how you were today. Every time you had to film something, you seemed really confident and comfortable.” He glanced toward her. “And completely charismatic. The camera loves you. The contestants love you. I can already tell that America is going to fall in love with you too.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  Maybe I won’t be the villain for a change.

  “I knew having you host was a good idea.”

  They fell into silence again, the sounds of crunching leaves and twigs under their footsteps blending with the noises of insects and animals roaming the woods. Her thoughts went back to the last camp and the guy who’d looked at her differently than the others. Why? And why did he seem so familiar?

  “What was that guy’s name?” she asked, no longer able to keep the questions contained to her head. If anyone could tell her who that guy was, it was Chip since he’d hand selec
ted every contestant.

  “Which one?”

  “The one with the dark hair and the blue shirt at the last camp. I don’t think he told me his name or if he did, I didn’t hear him.”

  “That’s Alex.”

  The name sent off a warning bell in her memory that sounded like an air raid siren, and yet she couldn’t put her finger on why. But her pulse responded to the name anyway, spiking up at least a dozen beats faster. Maybe if she had his last name it would bring the memory forward.

  She cleared her throat. “Alex who?”

  “Alex Brighton.”

  Zoe’s head spun as memories rushed to the surface. No way. This couldn’t be happening. She knew he’d looked familiar, but not that familiar.

  They’d gone to school together from kindergarten until her accident just after she turned fourteen. He hadn’t changed much over the years — a lot more muscles, hopefully a bit more maturity — but the same intense eyes, sneer instead of a smile, and ability to make her uncomfortable.

  Had he recognized her?

  And if he had, would he share her secret with the world?

  Chapter Four

  Chip stood outside Zoe’s tent for the second time wishing he could comfort her in some way and feeling completely inadequate. He didn’t even know what was wrong with her. One minute she’d been fine and chatty and the next she’d been closed off, bordering on what appeared to be an anxiety attack.

  Twice.

  The first was when the sound girl had hugged her after lunch. The second when they walked back to camp and she’d asked about Alex.

  As soon as he’d said the name, it was as if a switch went off inside Zoe and she closed herself off to everything and everyone. It was strange. And disconcerting. Why did hearing the name of one of his contestants have that effect on her?

  He forced himself away from her tent, not wanting anyone to see him and think he was creeping outside her tent. The last thing he needed was for some rumor to start and Zoe to catch wind of it.

  Once he’d zipped himself into his own tent, he grabbed a beer from his private stash and sat on his cot, head in one hand, beer in the other. It was only day one. He shouldn’t have put so much pressure on himself to connect with Zoe or have some kind of breakthrough with her on the very first day. Building trust — building a relationship — took time and effort. But she was worth it.