“You mean she may not remember anything?” Was that hope?
“That is the one of the mysteries of the brain, she may not recall anything from the accident, or she may remember everything. Be patient. Dr. Hawkins is one of the best in his field.”
“When will we know?”
“When Sarah is ready, she will let us know.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t worry Mr. Hunter, she is alive…that is the most important thing right now.”
“But I want my Sarah back.”
My Sarah?
“You will have Sarah back Mr. Hunter. Think of what almost happened to her. You have to be grateful for the chance to make new memories.”
“Sorry, you are right. She is alive. That is the most important thing.”
“She’s a very strong woman.”
I felt someone lift my arm and wrapped their hand around me. I breathed in deeply and shuddered. The grip around my arm loosened immediately.
“Don’t be afraid, as she starts coming out of the coma. Her body will be reacting oddly, be patient Mr. Hunter.”
“Thank you. Thank you nurse…Westley.”
“It’s Doctor Westley.” I heard shoes tap along the floor, “and have the nurses’ station page me if you need me.”
“We will…and thank you.”
I could sense something wasn’t right, even through the thick haze that protectively embraced me.
Who was this man?
Who was he to me?
Thankfully, my mind and body were exhausted, I turned and twirled, drifting back into the warm hollow where I found solace in the darkness; unsure if I would ever be ready to come out.
“Ahhhhhhhhh. Stoppppppppp.” I screamed over and over again. But the pain didn’t stop. The icy cold claws held me still. I tried to move, the unyielding grip rubbed against the skin of my ankles and my wrists. The loud clanging echoed inside my head over and over again, reverberating through the small space. Bouncing off the sides, the top, the bottom, seemingly right through me.
I was being buried alive and I couldn’t escape.
My fingers searched for something to hurl at the loud banging, but my arms ached as I pulled them to no avail.
My body trembled. It was as though someone had lifted me up and dropped me onto the cold hard surface, and then the noise was gone. Silence again.
The cold bands released my hands and feet and the surface beneath me moved slowly, like a drawer being opened. As my body moved out of the tomb, the chill in the air assailed me, first my feet, then legs, all the way up to my shoulders. It was startling. But nothing prepared me for the burning intensity of the bright lights piercing through my eyelids. I squeezed them tightly, but the pain persisted.
There was distant murmuring.
I heard something.
Voices.
They got closer.
I could hear them speaking as they approached, until they were almost on top of me.
“Ahhhhhh.” I heard myself scream, the sound echoing off the walls of my mind.
“Sarah?” a soft voice called out.
“No.” I breathed.
“Sarah. Try to open your eyes for me.” She asked, her tone cajoling but stern.
I shook my head, and the pounding inside increased, the pain unmerciful. I felt the wetness of warm tears slide down the sides of my face.
A small hand touched mine and held it firmly.
“I need you to try to open your eyes Sarah.”
I mouthed ‘no’.
“Please Sarah, I know you’re in pain, but it will be gone shortly. I’ve given you medication to ease the pain in your head, but I need you to try to open your eyes for me. Please Sarah.”
I was momentarily angry with myself for succumbing as I slowly opened my eyes. The room had been darkened.
It was hard to focus.
A fuzzy image of a face hung over my own, surrounded by a brown haze, and as my eyes slowly adjusted, I could make out her features a little more. The brown haze was her hair. Her smile was warm. Relief was evident in her brown eyes.
“It’s nice to have you back, Sarah.”
Her smile was genuine.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words came out no louder than a whisper.
“Where…”
“You are in Mercy Hospital. You were in an accident. But you’re going to be fine.”
She said the words slowly, deliberately, letting the information sink in.
“What happened?” I spoke so sluggishly that my words came out garbled.
“You fell down a flight of stairs and hurt your head.”
Again, she spoke slowly for my benefit.
“Do you understand what I’ve told you?”
I nodded slightly.
“Good.” She turned and lifted a blanket up, placing it over me. “There we go. It’s rather cold in here. Is that better?”
I nodded. The heated blanket enticed me back into my hollow, lulling me to sleep, my eyes heavy, and my body listless.
“Let’s get her back to her room so she could rest.”
“I’ll call Mr. Hunter. He gave explicit instructions to be called when she opened her eyes.” The voice came from the corner, her image fuzzy. I wasn’t able to focus on her face.
“I will call Mr. Hunter nurse.”
“Yes, doctor.”
She held my hand and leaned close to my ear.
“Sarah, I will be in to see you later. After you’ve rested a bit. My name is Doctor Westley.” She looked up thoughtfully, “I think we’ll give you a little more time to adjust to waking before we call Mr. Hunter.” She said the second part more to herself than to me.
I squeezed her hand and she squeezed mine in return.
The last thing I remember was moving. Gliding. The sounds of the bleeping and thumping machines faded into the background, sounding smaller as I rolled along.
Chapter Three
I hesitantly opened my eyes.
I was alone.
The room was dimly lit. I squinted as I tried to focus on the blinking numbers on the machine next to where I was lying, but the numbers confused me and I squeezed my eyes closed. Looking towards the wall of windows, I could see it was dark outside. I turned my head and was able to make out the outline of two chairs, a large television screen hung above the footboard and there were two doors against the far wall.
One door had a small window and I could see the silhouettes of people as they quickly walked past. The other door was shut.
I was thirsty. My mouth was so dry. I ran my tongue along the surface of my lips. They felt rough and dry.
The door opened and I instinctively closed my eyes. Breathing as evenly as possible, I remained still.
A small hand checked my arm and hands, adjusting tubes. I heard what sounded like fingertips tapping over a hard surface, each tap accompanied by a low beep. Then whoever it was walked around the bed. I heard footsteps as they crossed the room.
I remained still. I heard what sounded like water running briefly, then the footsteps again as they approached me. I noticed my blanket was pulled up higher.
A few moments later, I heard footsteps retreating and the sounds of the hallway for a few seconds before a door closed.
Silence.
I kept my eyes shut and lay still for a few moments, trying to breathe evenly.
“Sarah?” A voice softly called out to me.
I jumped.
I hadn’t heard the door open.
I slowly opened my eyes.
“There you are.” She smiled at me. She stepped on something under the bed and the bed began to rise, slowly bringing my body up to a semi sitting position. She lifted a pitcher and poured what looked like water into a glass. She raised the glass, with a straw dangling out of the top, and held it up. “You must be very thirsty.” She brought the straw to my mouth and I began to drink it.
“Slowly. Drink it slowly. Your stomach is not used to having anything in it for a lon
g time. We don’t want you getting any cramps.”
I took a long draw and released the straw between my lips.
“Thank you.” The sound of my voice, scratchy and coarse, was oddly unfamiliar.
“You’re welcome. Do you think you feel well enough to try to get some broth down? Maybe some Jell-O?” She smiled.
“Would. Like. That.” The words came out broken. I tried to smile back at her, but I was pretty sure I looked ridiculous. It felt as though I had no control over my mouth.
“Good.” She picked up the phone and dialed. “Yes, hello…this is Doctor Westley in Neuro, please have a liquid tray brought up to room 1414…and throw and extra Jell-O on there.” She winked at me.
“Thank you.” I mumbled, barely audible.
“I know you must have a lot of questions, but I think it would be better if we talk tomorrow when you are a little more lucid. I’ll go over what happened to you and the injuries you sustained, but first I just want you to try to do a few things for me okay?”
I nodded.
“Good. I want you to lift one arm at a time up. Like this.” She raised her arm up until it was shoulder height. “If at any time it hurts, you need to stop. Okay. Let’s start with your left arm.”
It took me a little time to figure out which arm was my left, but then I slowly began to lift it up. I could feel my muscles shake. It was odd to move at all and I could feel the strain. My whole body felt like a rusty machine that needed oil.
“Very good. Now your right arm.”
I began to lift the same arm up and she smiled.
“Your other right arm.” She laughed.
I lowered the one slowly back down, and then started lifting the right, right arm.
“Excellent. How about we try to bring your knee up.” She put her hand on my ankle and I slowly raised it. “Very good. Now, the other leg.”
I got no more than a few inches before a shooting pain ran down the entire length of my body on the right side. I yelled out.
“Okay. That’s good for now. You injured your right leg when you fell, so that one will be a little stiff for a while. But you did really good.”
“Will it always hurt like this?”
“We’ll know more when you begin physical therapy, but I think you’re just a little stiff from not moving your muscles for such a long time.”
The door opened and a young girl carrying a tray entered.
“Just put it on the tray table. Thank you.” Doctor Westley instructed.
The young girl smiled sweetly and walked out, casting a glance backwards before disappearing behind the closing door.
That was strange.
“You are our miracle girl, Sarah.”
I hadn’t realized I’d said that out loud.
She laughed.
“Here, let me help you with this.” She removed the top off of the broth and using the spoon, put a small amount in my mouth.
It was chicken I think, somewhat flavorless, but my stomach felt like it was curling in on itself and I was inexplicably hungry. It took a while, but I finished the broth and managed to drink some of the plain tea.
“Now for the good stuff.” She smiled.
Peeling back the top of the Jell-O, she took a giggly spoonful out and brought it to my lips. I opened my mouth and closed my eyes. The texture of the wiggly dessert felt odd on my tongue.
“Good?” she asked.
I nodded.
I must have been smiling, because she smiled widely as she brought over another spoonful.
Cherry I think.
After I finished, I took a deep breath.
She held up the other Jell-O. “Seconds?”
“No thank you. I think I’m good for now.”
“Okay. I’ll leave it here with the extra spoon in case you get the night munchies.”
“Do you think I could bother you for some Vaseline or something? My lips feel like gravel.”
“I’ll see what I can come up with.” She walked out the door and within minutes was walking back in carrying a new Chapstick in her hand. She opened the package and trailed a coating of the waxy stick over my dry lips.
“Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome. Can I get you anything else?”
“My memory?”
She laughed, “If only it were that easy. I’m curious though; do you have any memory of what happened?”
“No, I don’t and every time you say that name I feel somewhat confused.” I spoke slower than I wanted, and it frustrated me.
“You’ve been asleep for a long time, don’t worry so much. This is all to be expected.”
“I don’t like it.”
“I’ll let you get your rest. It was a big day for you. I’ll check back in with you later.”
“Thanks for the extra Jell-O. I think I remember liking it.” I smiled.
“Who doesn’t like Jell-O?” She laughed.
She stepped on that pedal and lowered the back of the bed down a little. I was exhausted, but it didn’t stop me from straining my brain, trying to remember something…anything. All I ended up with is a giant headache and a thousand more questions. But I had to admit it felt good to be out of the darkness, even though I was scared as all hell.
I quickly fell asleep.
I was running. My heart was racing so hard, my ribcage ached and I was convinced it would beat right through my chest. I could scarcely catch my breath. An injection of adrenaline coursed through my veins, giving me the strength to keep my legs moving. I turned and ran into a room. Looking around frantically for a place to hide.
Closet.
No.
Under the bed.
No.
A large rocking chair with a blanket thrown over it sat in the corner. I slipped behind it and crouched down low, pulling the blanket down over the back until you couldn’t see my legs and feet. I grabbed the rung of the chair; I held it tightly, trying to steady it.
I heard loud footsteps in the distance.
A man’s voice drifted down the hall. I couldn’t make out what he was shouting, but I could hear the anger in his voice and I began to shake. The sound of his shoes stomping on the hard wooden surface, told me he was getting closer. I swiped at the perspiration running down my face into my eyes, smearing it across my cheek. I briefly looked down and I saw blood on my hand and stifled a gasp.
The footsteps were very close now. Then they stopped right outside the door. I held my breath and closed my eyes tightly, as if it would in some stupid way prevent him from seeing me. The door squealed in defiance as it was pushed all the way open, slamming into the doorstop. I nearly jumped, but I stood still. My body so tense it hurt. I couldn’t see him from my position behind the chair, but I could sense that he was there. The faceless man who was trying to hurt me.
I slowly raised my eyes up and saw a dark shadow looking down on me. I screamed, and screamed. I stopped abruptly when I heard laughter. The sound rang throughout the room. He laughed like he’d just won a game of hide and seek. The sound rattled me. The maniacal laughter was deafening.
My eyes flew open.
I was panting and too weak to sit up. My hand flew to my chest in an attempt to steady my beating heart and heavy breathing.
A nurse came running into my room and pushed a button on the monitor next to where I lay.
I felt the bed shaking under me and knew it was because my entire body was trembling. I was lightheaded and dizzy from breathing so heavily. I gripped the side railings on the bed and tried to sit up.
The nurse placed her hands on my shoulders.
“It’s okay, dear. You just had a bad dream. You’re okay. Lay back. It’s okay. Lay back.”
“Is he here?”
“Is who here? Are you alright dear?”
“Bad dream?” I asked my voice hesitant. I breathed as I looked over her shoulder, searching the room for the man.
“Can I get you something? Maybe some water?”
“Yes. Water please.”
My body was still shivering, but my breathing began to slow down.
She held the cup for me and I took a long sip, sucking faster than I could swallow and began to cough.
“Too much at once. Look up.”
I did and the hacking cough slowly stopped.
“Your face is flushed. Are you feeling okay?” she asked as she took something off the table and held it to my forehead. I flinched. “I’m just checking to see if you have a fever.” She held the strip in place for a few seconds and looked at it. “Nope. No temperature. Try to get some rest. You’ve had a very busy day.” She looked back at me when she reached the door, “Try to relax, it was only a dream.”
I just nodded.
It was more than just a dream to me. It was a memory, I think.
“Good to have you back with us Sarah.” She said as she stood in the doorway.
“Thank you.” I said on behalf of Sarah.
Chapter Four
“Honey, are you hungry? I have some scrambled eggs and some tea.” A woman in blue scrubs said as she placed the tray down and pushed the table towards me.
“I am.” I was surprised at how hungry I was.
She stepped on the pedal and the bed rose up until I was in a sitting position. I felt the blood leave my head quickly and was surprised at how dizzy I got for a few moments.
“That okay?”
“Yes.”
“Do you need help?”
“No, I think I can do it.”
“Is there anything else you need?” she asked without emotion.
“No, thank you.” I whispered.
She removed the tray from last night and left, disappearing behind the slowly closing door.
I was glad for the time to myself to adjust to this new reality. The darkness outside was just giving way to light, it must be morning.
I grabbed the corner and managed to pull the tray table closer to me and pushed off the top that covered the plate.
I lifted a spoon, thinking I would most likely have better luck with it rather than the fork.
Ever, Sarah Page 2
