It was almost comical how clumsy I was. I might as well have had two left hands. I finally managed to get a good grip on the spoon I held, but the real trick proved to be getting the eggs from the plate into my mouth.
It was frustrating, but I managed to laugh at my attempt. I looked down and discovered half the eggs were on my lap.
I heard the door open and I looked up.
“Sarah?” His voice was startling but vaguely familiar. I wanted to close my eyes and turn away, but I was unable to.
I did notice that he was beautiful.
Just beautiful.
The most beautiful man I’d ever seen, as far as I could remember, which was all of four minutes.
He was a tall man with broad shoulders, hair black as night and the most piercing blue eyes I’d ever seen, and he stood just inside the door, flowers in one hand.
He had the biggest smile on his lips, revealing perfectly straight white teeth, and my heart beat faster at the mere sight of him. He was dressed in a dark navy suit with a light blue shirt and a dark blue tie that only intensified the blue of his eyes.
“Who are you?” My voice was shaking.
He quickly placed the flowers down on the table and crossed over to where I lay in the bed.
“Here, let me help you with that.” He took the napkin and removed the eggs I’d dropped in my lap. The fact that his hands were touching me in such an intimate way didn’t strike me as odd. What did, however, was how familiar he smelled; a mix of soap, outdoors and male. It was almost intoxicating.
“It’s me Sarah. Brad. You don’t remember me?” The pain that briefly masked his perfect features was evident. And those features…Holy Christ, all I could think was holy cow!
Strong jaw, dark, thick eyelashes, perfect brows and lips…lips that were excellent…and by excellent, I mean kissable. I found myself licking my own lips unconsciously. If not for the waxy taste on my tongue, I would never have known I had. I blushed.
“Don’t take it too personal, I don’t know who I am either.” I let out a small weird sounding laugh.
“Well,” he walked over to a chair, pulling it over to where the bed was and sat down, and with a sad look in his eyes, he continued, “you are Sarah Williamson, and I am Brad…Bradley Hunter. I don’t know if it is too much too soon, but we are engaged to be married, so that makes you my beautiful fiancée.”
The sound of the gasp that escaped me was probably heard in the hallway.
“Don’t look so horrified, I’m not that bad a catch.”
“It’s not that.” I looked at the wall, trying to find the words I wanted to use, but obviously memory loss has its disadvantages. “I’m having a hard time getting used to the fact that my name is Sarah. Every time someone calls me that, I feel frustrated that I don’t know my own name. Now you tell me that I’m engaged to you. A man I don’t know…or recognize. It’s just a little too much for me to grasp, and it took me by surprise.”
“I understand.” He looked somewhat melancholy.
“How long have I, um, been…disconnected?”
I must have looked ridiculous because he smiled that heart-stopping smile and I lost all train of thought.
“You’ve been ‘disconnected’ for just over five weeks. Actually, two days over five weeks to be exact.” He turned his head and his blues locked on mine.
“That long?” I stuttered. “I’ve been lying here for five weeks?”
“Not here. You were in ICU for over two weeks. Then you were put into the recovery ward for over a week. Then here.”
“Have you been here to see me, I mean, do you visit me often?”
“Every day.” He said simply.
“Oh.”
“How are you feeling?” He asked, and then continued before I could formulate an answer. “I can’t believe I’m actually sitting here and you are talking to me. I have been praying so hard for this day and now that it’s here, I don’t know what to say. I have to admit, I feel somewhat foolish.”
He smiled.
Heart raced.
“I feel weak. I’m clumsy. I can’t hold a damned spoon to save my life and I can’t put a face to my own name.” He looked at me oddly, “I have no clue what I look like. It’s all so confusing my head is spinning. And in three short minutes, I’ve found out that I am engaged to be married, I have a last name as odd to me as my first name…and I’m angry with myself for not being able to remember. Family. Do I have a family?”
“Yes. Your mother, who has also been in to see you every day as well, her name is Veronica Williamson. Your father, died before you had your accident. You don’t have any siblings.” He looked up to the ceiling and his eyes narrowed. I noticed that he was speaking very slowly, as if doing so will help it to sink in. “You’ve got three cousins, your mother’s sister Kate’s children; Lucy, who you are very close to, she’s been here to see you several times, Michael, her older brother and Nicholas, her younger brother. You have a great relationship with him. You call him your little bro.” He chuckled as he shook his head.
“It’s so strange not to know any of this. It’s like it’s all new to me. Like you’re creating my life as I lay here...” My voice drifted off.
“And as far as what you look like. You’re beautiful. You have long reddish brown hair with big…wait a second.” He stood and walked to the bathroom. I heard a few clings and clangs, but he successfully walked out of the bathroom carrying a mirror.
He looked at me, as if asking if I were ready and I nodded. Then he held the mirror in front of me and I stared at the stranger reflected back at me.
“And you have the most beautiful green eyes I’ve ever seen.” He finished.
I reached out and touched the mirror as though I were touching myself. I didn’t picture this. I really didn’t picture anything, but this was totally foreign to me.
I had a rat’s nest for hair, pale complexion and big black circles under, okay, I’ll admit I liked the color of my eyes. Greenish, kinda. But my face—wow, it’s still strange to realize that it was my face—was gaunt, hollow and not very pretty at all.
“I’m ugly.” I whispered.
“You are most definitely not ugly. You have to realize you’ve been in a…you’ve been sleeping for a long time.”
“You can say coma. It’s okay. I know.”
“Coma.” He mumbled, almost to himself.
“Do you know what happened to me? How did I get here?” I asked.
It felt like it took me a full minute to say every sentence. I’m sure it wasn’t the case, but that’s what it felt like.
“How long have we known each other? Engaged? Do you have any proof I am who you say, and that we are…is there anything you can show me…something?”
“I can.” He looked somewhat taken back. Surprised I didn’t just trust him and take him at his word. “I can tell you everything I know. I can…I have…yes, I can prove everything you asked.” He looked down at the floor then back up at me. “But I’m sorry, I don’t know how….how it happened. I mean, what happened to you. All I know is that I came home from work to find you…” He shook his head and stood up abruptly walking to the other end of the room…I think I heard a string of profanity flow out between his tightening lips. He looked angry, and it was frightening.
I began to tremble.
“You’re scaring me.” I said, my voice low.
He spun to face me. “I came home to find you lying on the floor. Jesus Christ, I thought you were dead.” His face actually paled. “I wasn’t there for you. If I were there I could have prevented it.”
His face became red and I could see he was clearly agitated.
“I don’t remember any of what you just said. Did I fall?”
I didn’t want to say anything about the dreams I’d been having. Right now, I didn’t know who I could trust. Not yet.
“No one knows. The police investigated but found nothing conclusive.”
“There was an investigation.” I felt a chill run do
wn my spine.
“Yes. I insisted on it. Sarah, you are not a clumsy person. You never ‘fall’. You were always active, athletic. You were in great shape. You ran every day. You never fell.” His voice was cold, tense and I could tell he was holding something back, which had me feeling even more uneasy than before.
He reached over and grabbed both my hands in his one. I’m sure it was to comfort me, but it did anything but.
“I’m sorry for frightening you. I’m just angry with myself for not being there.”
“I understand.” I didn’t, but I didn’t want him to get angrier. “What’s next? I mean what happens next?”
“The doctors will be in to speak with you later today.”
He walked over and unwrapped the flowers, and took them, as well as a vase that was sitting on the windowsill in the bathroom. I heard the water running. After a minute or two, he came out and placed the vase on the table next to me.
“Your favorite.” He half smiled. “You loved it every time I brought you home a bouquet. You always said ‘the simple daisy doesn’t get the credit it should’.”
I looked at the flowers; pure white petals surrounded a bright yellow center. Little white flowers sprayed here and there, adding brightness to the background of green leaves. The bouquet of daisies made me smile. I don’t understand why, but they took the edginess that had been building in the room and erased it.
I don’t know the reason I was feeling so unsettled, I could only attribute it to the fact that I can’t remember anything and was paralyzed by the darkness settling in my brain.
I didn’t think that not remembering anything could be so scary. Terrifying even. You start seeing everyone as the enemy because you don’t know who you could trust. And at this point, I was unable to make those judgments.
“Anyway, after your physical therapy, when they say you are okay to go home, I plan on taking you home. Our home.” He must have seen the shocked look on my face. “I’ve been doing a lot of research on your condition, and I totally understand the fears you have.” He looked at the ceiling again, as if the words he searched for were written there, “Sarah, the last thing I want is for you to feel tense, nervous or uncomfortable. When we go home, you will have the master bedroom to yourself and I will take one of the guest rooms.” He smiled sheepishly. “When and only when you’re ready, when some time passes, hopefully your memories will come back to you. Maybe then we can get back to things being the way they used to be, and pick up where we left off.”
I felt the heat rise right up my neck to my face and I smiled awkwardly.
He smiled at my awkwardness and I swear my heart skipped a beat.
I was thankful that he was this considerate of my feelings, and that he somewhat understood my need to feel safe until I felt more at ease. I was thankful he was patient and not pushing me in any way to be someone I don’t remember.
Of course, it would be disturbing having a stranger in my bed, even a beautiful stranger that I was engaged to be married to. And of course, there was a part of me that hoped to remember everything so we could ‘pick up where we left off’, but in either case, I believe I was looking forward to getting out of here. I don’t think ‘Sarah’ liked hospitals and although I was a bit trepidatious about going ‘home’, on the bright side, I was hopeful it would jog a memory or two. I wanted so much to feel like I belonged. To know myself, and who I am.
Even with the elephant in the room, I guess it could have been worse. It could have been a troll in that chair telling me he was my husband. I laughed out loud.
“What?” He smiled, “fill me in, what’s so funny.”
“I was just thinking about how relieved I am that you’re not a troll delivering me the news that we were husband and wife…I wouldn’t know the difference.”
“Well…I’ll take that as a compliment, as odd as it is.” He chuckled.
“Good plan.” I said.
I lay my head back and closed my eyes. This conversing thing sapped every bit of energy I had and I suddenly realized how tired I was.
“You’ll want to get some rest. Your mother will be in shortly. She’s on her way back from the Hamptons this very moment, and is very anxious to see you.”
“Hamptons?”
“Yes, she had a benefit she had to attend, but once she got my call telling her you were awake, she…well, she screamed in my ear and shouted she’s on her way.” He looked at his watch, “which knowing your mother, means she’ll be here within the hour.”
“Oh my.” I could feel my mouth hanging open.
“You really shouldn’t worry, she could be a bit animated, and God knows the hearing in my left ear hasn’t fully returned, but she loves you very much.”
“I’m sort of scared now.” I smiled.
“Don’t be, Veronica is a wonderful woman, and mother.”
“Thanks for the warning.” I kind of smiled, I think.
“I’ll let you get some rest before she gets here. I’ll be back later with some dinner.”
Now that got my attention.
“Food?”
“Yes,” he laughed, “Dinner does typically include food.”
“Do you know what I like?”
“I do.”
“Bring it on. Apparently being in a coma increases one’s appetite.”
He out and out laughed.
“Why are you laughing?” I asked.
“Because you still have your corny sense of humor.”
“Corny?” I was a bit put off.
“Okay. You still have your sense of humor.”
“Just bring the goods, Mister.” I interjected.
“Yes, ma’am.” He bowed mockingly. “I love you…I’m sorry. I apologize, that was too much, too fast. I’m just so happy you are sitting here talking to me, guess I just got carried away.”
The shocked look fell from my face. “No problem. But please take it real slow…at least for a little while.”
“Again, I apologize. I will go as slow as you want.”
He got up and bent over, placing a kiss on my forehead.
“I’ll see you later.”
“Okay.”
“And for the record, you did love me back.” He turned and walked through the door.
Damn, damn, damn! I was so frustrated. I wanted to remember. I was engaged to that? That beautiful hottie with the killer smile and dreamy eyes?
I think it’s only fair that I remember it all. And I mean everything!!!
I closed my eyes and my frustration faded as I did.
Chapter Five
“Sarah!” A woman’s voice resonated in the small room. “Dear, it’s me. Your mother.”
I opened my eyes and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw how close the woman’s face was to my own.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. The doctor tells me you don’t remember anything.” She stood up and took a step back, which afforded me a good look at this undeniably attractive woman. She had dark brown hair, piled on her head with wisps framing her youthful face. Her long bangs were swept to the side, exposing the greenest eyes, I think I’ve ever seen. Her mouth was light pink with the slightest shimmer.
She was tall and full figured, with an ample chest and slim hips. She wore an olive green business suit with an ivory silk blouse. Her long legs ended in her high heel olive green stilettos. She put her purse down on the chair that was occupied earlier by the very handsome man who tells me he’s my fiancé.
All in all, today was turning into a very strange day indeed.
“Well, do you recognize me?” She stood with her hands on her hips, staring intently at my face.
My guess is that she was trying to use her eyes as laser beams, shooting into my brain, to somehow force me to recognize her.
Okay, so maybe that was reaching a little bit.
“I...I’m sorry. I don’t.” Her smiled faded immediately and I could see the tears accumulate in her eyes. Her face softened and she moved her purse to the
table and sat down, looking defeated.
“I so hoped you would, but I’m so happy to see you are finally awake Sarah. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Um, thank you.”
She reached over and took my hand in hers. “You look dreadful.” She opened her purse and pulled out a brush. “Do you mind if I brush that tangled mess?”
Something about her mannerisms was familiar and I felt comfortable for the first time since this whole accident business.
“Have at it.” I said and was rewarded with a big smile.
“You sound just like my Sarah.” She stood and walked over to the other side of the bed and raised the mattress. “I’ll try to be gentle. You used to love when I brushed your hair. But of course you don’t remember that, do you?”
I was reluctant to say I didn’t remember, not wanting to see that sad look cloud her beautiful features again, “I could believe that.”
“Well, let’s get those knots out shall we?” She seemed a little happier. “Has Bradley been here since he’s called me.”
“Yes, he said he’d be back with dinner, later.”
“Do you remember him?” I could tell she was fishing, and I wanted to put her at ease.
“No, I don’t. It’s the strangest thing having no memory of the people who are so important in my life.”
“Well, you are just mad about him. He loves you very much. His heart was just broken when they told us that they needed to put you into that coma. Brain injury. His heart was just broken…as was mine.”
“Th…thank you.” I didn’t know how to respond to that. I was so confused.
I felt a tug.
“Sorry darling, you have a rather stubborn knot here. I’m not hurting you am I?”
“No. Not at all.” I lied. It did hurt a little, but I’m sure having my hair free of knots was worth a little discomfort. “De-knot me.”
She blurted out a laugh.
“My, you sound just like my Sarah. Corny as ever.” She giggled as she ran the brush down the length of my hair.
“You’re the second person to call me corny today.”
“Well, dear, you are unique. Maybe corny is not the right word.”
Ever, Sarah Page 3
