“A castle can be a wonderful place, or it can be drafty and cold.” He took her hand again as he sat back in the chair beside hers. “A castle doesn’t have to be big. Remember in the Bible Paul says he learned to be content wherever God had him? That’s what we need to learn, too.”
“I can’t do that.” Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. “I know God wants me to marry Andrew. I prayed about it.”
God, please give me Your words. He longed to wipe the tears from Lillian’s cheeks. “Lillian, consider this carefully. Andrew McClean has quite a reputation, and not always a good one. If you marry him only for money, you’ll be miserable.” He squeezed her hand again, releasing her when she pulled away. She stood up, and he knew he was losing her. “Please consider if you truly listened for God’s answer in this matter. Will you do that?”
She stood a minute staring down at him. He could almost see the war going on inside her. Her shoulders slumped. She put her hand to her head. “I have to go inside now.”
He watched as she fled, feeling as helpless as a baby to stop her from making a major mistake. God, please watch over her. Help her make the right choice. Not me, Lord, but You. Always Your way.
Exhaustion claimed Lillian again. The evening meal had been a disaster. At least this time she’d only spilled the water pitcher. Water wouldn’t stain the way tea did. Miss Gibson had looked as if she wanted to head the lynch mob that would be coming to Lillian’s room tonight. She sighed. To tell the truth, the woman had been more than patient in putting up with Lillian’s clumsiness. None of the other girls had this problem.
Doing a quick wash and slipping into her nightgown, Lillian got into bed before Dinah could come back to the room. She didn’t want to hear anything her roommate had to say. Ever since she’d told Dinah about Franklin’s and Andrew’s proposals, Dinah had been trying to get Lillian to reconsider. She even had the temerity to suggest Andrew might not have meant marriage. Dinah, too, said she’d heard rumors about Andrew McClean and his possible disreputable ways. Well, Lillian wasn’t listening to rumors or to any more lectures.
She closed her eyes as the door opened. Dinah wasn’t quiet as she came in and prepared for bed. Lillian feigned sleep. She tried to keep her breathing even as she listened to Dinah move around the room. When her bed dipped, she knew Dinah hadn’t fallen for her ruse.
“Lillian, I need to talk to you again.”
Lillian rolled over to look up at Dinah’s solemn gaze as she sat on the edge of the bed. Although Lillian knew her friend had her best interests at heart, she still wished Dinah would leave her alone. She tried to focus on some of Dinah’s artwork on the wall across from her but couldn’t bear to hurt her friend by ignoring her.
“I heard you gave your notice tonight. You’re not even going to stay and fulfill your contract. Why?” Dinah asked.
“I don’t have to tell you.” Lillian hated the defiant tone of her voice, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. “Andrew wants me to marry him now.”
“Has he actually used the word marriage?” Dinah asked.
“I’m sure he did.” Lillian’s stomach churned. She couldn’t remember anymore how Andrew had worded his proposal.
“Well, after what I heard tonight, I don’t think he did.” Dinah looked angry enough to spit nails.
“I don’t want to hear any more rumors. I thought you were a good Christian girl, Dinah. What would God say about you spreading gossip? Besides, you have your own secrets. I saw you hiding that drawing of a man in the box under your bed. What is he to you?”
Guilt flashed across Dinah’s face, making Lillian want to groan at her harsh words. Sorrow made Dinah’s plain features look more drawn as she bit down on her lip. “He’s nothing. I only want to keep you from doing something you’ll regret, Lillian. I care about you.”
“Then let me take care of my own life, and I’ll let you take care of yours.” Lillian tried to smile. “I’ve prayed about this, Dinah. I know what God wants for me.”
“Do you?” Dinah’s soft question hit a sore place in Lillian’s heart.
Lillian opened her mouth to reply, but the words wouldn’t come. She nodded instead.
“Okay.” Dinah’s eyes held a note of sadness as she eased up off the bed. “I’ll not say anything more.” She crossed the room to extinguish the light before crawling into bed. “But I’ll keep praying for you to do the right thing, Lillian. Your heart knows. Good night.”
In the darkness, Lillian fought the tears burning the back of her eyes. The lump in her throat felt like it was the size of a boulder. Andrew would arrive tomorrow on the train. He would be taking her away with him to get married. Why didn’t she feel the elation she’d expected? Why was her heart so heavy? Why were her dreams full of Franklin and those incredible eyes of his?
Chapter 9
Sitting on her bed in her traveling clothes, Lillian reread the letter from her mother. Her family was doing well. Rain had been plentiful. Looked like a good harvest coming up. They would have a little extra for some necessities.
Lillian, I can’t thank you enough for the monies you have been sending to us. I’ve put some away to help us through the harder winter months. We did as you asked and your father bought the children a bag of sweets at the store last week when we were in town. They all say hello and thank you. I have also put enough aside to buy shoes for everyone when the cold weather starts. What a blessing to have shoes for the children to wear to school.
Tears blurred Lillian’s vision until she couldn’t read any more. Just when her resolve had wavered, she’d received this letter as a reminder of why she had to marry Andrew. Although he’d never asked about her family, she knew he wouldn’t mind helping her parents out after the wedding. When he had so much, he would want to share a little with the needy, especially if they were his wife’s family.
She closed her eyes. Franklin’s face swam into focus. Just the thought of his smile set her heart pounding. She could still feel his strength as he carried her to her room. She ached to be close to him, to hear his deep voice, to see the kindness in his eyes. She loved him. That thought hit her hard enough to double her over. She gasped. How had this happened? Why couldn’t Franklin have been the man with money?
God, I know what You want for me. Give me the strength to carry through.
Wiping her eyes on her sodden handkerchief, Lillian rose from the bed and picked up her packed bag. She had to get to the train station to meet Andrew. He’d sent a message that he wouldn’t be staying overnight after all. He wanted her to be ready to board the train with him now.
Her feet wanted to drag. She’d already said good-bye to the other girls. They were all getting ready for the lunch crowd anyway. Slipping out the back door, she walked to the station without looking back. This door of her life had to close forever. She was following what God wanted. Wasn’t she?
The whistle of the train had her picking up her pace. She needed to be there in time to board. Her heart ached as she thought of how much she wanted to drop her bag and race to the stables to find Franklin. She wanted to see him one last time and tell him … What? What would she say? I love you, but I have to marry Andrew for his money? How would anyone ever understand this need she had to provide for her family? This was the work God had given her to do, and she had to do it. Squaring her shoulders, Lillian stepped onto the platform as the train huffed and hissed to a stop.
“There you are, my dear.” Andrew pulled her into an embrace. Lillian stiffened then tried to relax. The feelings would come. Given time, she would enjoy his embrace as much as she longed for Franklin’s.
“Come, let’s get your bags on board.” Andrew picked up her worn traveling case and looked around the platform.
“That’s all I have.” Lillian could feel the flush working up her cheeks.
“Well, that’s fine, then. We’ll have to get some things made when we get to Phoenix anyway.” Andrew took her arm and helped her up the steps of the train. “We’ll be riding in her
e.” He escorted her to the luxury car, one she’d never seen before. The chairs were plush enough to get lost in or to allow for sleeping.
Andrew ran his hand down her arm. Lillian repressed a shiver.
“I hope you don’t mind. I reserved a room in Flagstaff for a few days. I thought we might enjoy some time to ourselves before it’s back to work in Phoenix.” The gleam in Andrew’s eyes made Lillian uncomfortable.
She had to clear her throat twice before she could speak. “So we’ll be getting married in Flagstaff?”
His forehead creased for a moment before Andrew managed another smile. “I have some special surprises in store for you, my dear. You’ll see.”
Dread stole her breath. Dinah’s warnings whispered through her mind. “We are getting married, right?” Lillian remained standing, despite Andrew’s attempts to help her into a seat.
“You worry too much.” Andrew’s smile became strained.
“I have to know.” She forced her shaking legs to hold her up.
“We will have a wonderful time, Lillian. I can show you wonders and buy you things you would never have otherwise.” Andrew reached out to touch her hair. Lillian drew away.
“I send money to my family each month. Will I still be able to do that?” She clenched her hands in the folds of her skirt so he wouldn’t see how badly she was shaking.
“My dear, I don’t take on charity cases. My money is for me and my family, not yours.” Andrew frowned. “You can’t expect me to throw my money down a hole like some churchgoing do-gooder.”
Anger gave Lillian the strength she needed. How had she ever allowed herself to be deceived into thinking Andrew was God’s answer to her prayer? The floor beneath her feet shifted. The train whistle blew a shrill blast.
God, why is this happening? I prayed about my need. This is Your answer, isn’t it? She closed her eyes. The pastor’s words from a few Sundays ago came to mind. “Having food and raiment let us be therewith content … rich fall into temptation … love of money is the root of all evil … that they be rich in good works.”
Lillian could picture how rich her parents were. They were content with their life. How many times had her father said he was a millionaire because he was blessed with so many children? Didn’t her parents abound in good works? She could hear God saying, You prayed, but you didn’t ask. You told Me what you wanted.
“God, what do You want?” Her quiet question received an immediate answer.
Leaning his head against Moses’s shoulder, Franklin breathed in the tangy scent of stale sweat and mule. Why had he opted to stay this morning instead of leading the mule trip down canyon? He knew the answer before thinking the question. Lillian was leaving today. He had some wild dream about persuading her to stay, telling her one more time he loved her, watching her kick McClean off the El Tovar porch as she leaped into Franklin’s embrace. He groaned aloud. That was about as realistic as being able to fly across the canyon with wings like a bird.
“Moses, you should be glad you don’t have to worry about women.” The mule flopped one ear backward as if listening, though his eyes remained half shut.
“God, I don’t know what to do. She rejected me, but I still can’t get her out of my mind. She’s made her choice.” He clenched his jaw, fighting the anger at the thought of how wrong Lillian’s decision might be. “Tell me what to do, please.”
“Hey, boss.” Perry strode toward him from the corrals, where he’d finished seeing to the mules that hadn’t been used in today’s ride. “One of the boys saw your lady friend heading for the train station with her bag. Don’t tell me she finally hit the wrong guy in the mouth with the ice cream.” He grinned at Franklin, who knew the mule skinners had heard the story and loved that their boss had been the victim.
Forcing a weak smile, Franklin tried to think of a reply, but all he could do was picture Lillian walking to meet McClean at the station. She was leaving with the man today. She would be married. Not his wife. McClean’s.
“You know, boss.” Perry rested his arm across Moses’s rump. “If I had a girl I thought that much of, I wouldn’t be moping around while she was preparing to leave. I’d be fighting for her.” He grinned. “Maybe not physically, but at least I’d show up and give her one last chance.” He chuckled. “Then again, maybe I’d even do a little physical fighting.”
Franklin’s sour mood lightened. Perry had a way of making things look brighter. He stilled. Was this God’s answer to his prayer? Should he give Lillian one last chance? A moment of quiet told him what to do. God didn’t want him to give up without one last attempt to convince Lillian to do the right thing.
“Thanks, Perry. I think I’ll ride on down to the station.” Franklin clapped the mule skinner on the shoulder, untied Moses, and mounted.
“Can I come watch?” Perry’s eyes twinkled.
“No fighting.” Franklin tried to look stern. These mule skinners were a rough bunch, but they were good guys. The only thing they liked more than watching a fight was participating in one. “Besides, if there was a fight, I’d have to charge you a quarter to watch, and I know you don’t have the money to waste.”
“Aw, you’re right.” Perry dug his toe in the dirt like a chastised young boy then grinned up at Franklin. “Go git her, boss.”
Today Moses would try the patience of Job. If he’d been the one leading the children of Israel, they would have taken a hundred years to cross the desert instead of forty. No amount of coaxing or threatening would convince the mule to pick up his pace.
“If you don’t quit lollygagging, I’ll leave you in the forest to have dinner with the mountain lions.” At Franklin’s threat, Moses flipped one ear up and down and snorted as if to say he knew an empty threat when he heard one.
The train whistle echoed through the trees. Franklin could hear the engine straining as the train started up to leave the station. He and Moses left the cover of the trees in time to see the last of the cars heading down the track.
Franklin’s hope plummeted. She was gone. Following her dream. She would be rich. He prayed she would be where God wanted her to be. As for him, he would treasure the time he’d known her. He patted Moses. “Maybe someday I’ll be able to forget.”
He didn’t have to close his eyes to remember her blue eyes or the way the sun glinted off her golden hair. He could still feel her slender form as she rested in his arms. Bowing his head, Franklin couldn’t quell his longing to know what it would feel like to kiss Lillian. The image of them growing old together hadn’t ever faded. Now she would grow old with another. His heart ached. He couldn’t seem to summon the will to move.
“I don’t suppose you’ve seen a handsome prince looking for a princess, have you?”
Franklin jerked his head up, startling Moses. The mule took a couple of sideways steps and stopped. Lillian stared up at him with luminous blue eyes. She held a small traveling case, both hands wrapped around the handle. Her smile wobbled as if she were fighting tears.
Taking a deep breath, Franklin tried to still the pounding of his heart. “I don’t know a single prince.” He watched as disappointment crossed her face. “However, I do know a Knight on a mule who would love to have a princess if she’s willing to have him.”
Her smile rivaled the beauty of the day. Tears coursed down her cheeks. Franklin swung off of Moses. Lillian dropped her bag as he pulled her into an embrace. She laid her cheek against his chest. He knew this was part of God’s plan for them.
“I’m so sorry, Franklin. I’ve been giving God orders instead of listening to His instructions.” Her breath hitched out on a sob. “I thought I had to be the provider for my family. God showed me that He is capable of doing the job. They don’t have to have plenty. He’s given them enough.”
She drew back to look up at him. Tears sparkled like diamonds on her lashes. “Is your offer still open, Mr. Knight?”
“It is, but I don’t want some forward woman.” He released her and dropped to one knee beside the deserted statio
n. “Lillian, will you marry me? Just as I am, no matter what?”
She nodded, biting her lower lip.
“I don’t think I heard that.” He pressed his lips to the back of her hand.
“Yes, Franklin, I’ll marry you.” She reached over to stroke Moses on his nose. “I don’t know why I got hung up on the prince instead of considering a knight on a strong charger.”
Franklin laughed. He stood and gathered her close again. “The only thing Moses might charge is the feed bin.” He sobered and cupped her cheek. “I love you, Lillian. I’ll love you forever.” He could see her love shining back at him in her gaze.
Chapter 10
The sunlight coming through the window glinted off the simple ring on her left hand. Lillian moved her hand from side to side, smiling at the way the plain piece of jewelry pleased her. Like most girls, she’d dreamed of a fancy ring with a beautiful stone. Now, however, she realized the ring only symbolized the commitment and oneness in the marriage relationship.
She glanced over at Franklin to find him watching her, his gray-blue eyes filled with so much love her breath caught in her chest. Franklin Knight. Her husband. The man she loved with all her heart. The man God had given to her.
He smiled, and she delighted in the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. She smiled back. “I see you’re finally awake. You’ve been missing all this scenery, you know.”
“The only scenery I want to look at is you. You’re the most beautiful thing around.” He stroked his finger down her heated cheeks. “I love you, you know.”
“I think I’ve heard that somewhere before.” Lillian couldn’t stop the broad grin. She’d never thought she could be so happy. The past few weeks had been wonderful. She’d gone back to work at the El Tovar to fulfill her contract. Franklin had come every day to see her, insisting they should have a proper courting time.
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