Whatever It Takes (Second Chances #2)

by L. E. Bross

  Ryan was back way too soon. “Just like I thought. Your starter is shot.”

  My stomach sank. I had no idea what that was, but it sounded like an expensive repair. “Is that something that costs a lot?”

  “Looking at over three hundred with labor, probably. If nothing else is wrong.”

  I crossed my arms over the steering wheel and dropped my head again. Three hundred dollars? Fresh tears burned the backs of my eyes. I could not get ahead. Every time I managed to eke out a tiny bit of savings, something happened and it was gone; the problems never stopped.

  My father’s words echoed in my head. Show me something worth looking at or I’ll make the hard decisions for you. How the hell was I supposed to pull things together when they kept falling apart?

  “Tess?” His voice had gone lower, more gravelly, and it was all I could do not to burst into ugly tears. Why now? Why here? Because yes, I had dreamed about seeing Ryan again one day. About what I’d say to him.

  None of this was part of that dream.

  I took a wobbly breath in and blinked a few times.

  “It’s fine,” I said hoarsely. “I’ll just call a cab and a tow truck.” I tried to smile, but my lips trembled. My gaze skirted past his. I could do neither, not without money. But he didn’t need to know that.

  I needed him to walk away.

  Right now.

  “I can get a starter for about fifty bucks,” he said. “And it would take me about an hour to put it in. Save you some aggravation trying to find a place open on the weekend that can get you in fast. I could fix it in your own driveway if you want.”

  It took a moment for his words to sink in. Fifty dollars? If I pushed back the electric bill by a week, I could manage that. But why?

  He had to hate me, because I hated me too, for what I did. For letting him slip out of my life without much of an effort to hold on to him.

  I lifted my head. His gaze was steady and I saw no judgment in his eyes. “You’re a mechanic?” It would stand to reason. He was always very good with his hands. I dropped my gaze to them without meaning to, remembering . . .

  “Nope, I work construction.” His voice pulled my attention back to his face. “But I know my way around these older-model cars.”

  “Why?” I asked. “Why would you help me?” I met his eyes, defiant. I wouldn’t let anyone take pity on me, not even Ryan.

  “Jesus, Tess.” He took his cap off and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. It stuck up in all directions before he slid his hat back on. “You looked like you could use a break today. That’s all.”

  I’d spent years taking care of myself and prided myself on being independent. Cinderella I was not, but somehow Prince Charming had appeared in the parking lot of a discount grocery store on a Friday. In the form of Ryan. The last person I ever expected to see again.

  I wanted to tell him thanks but no thanks, because being this close to him made my chest ache, but I couldn’t. He was offering me a lifeline and I was adrift in the middle of the ocean. Something had to give soon, and I was pretty sure it was going to be my sanity.

  “You going to fix our car, mister?” Noah asked before I could answer. He kicked his feet into the back of my seat, and when I peered into the rearview mirror, I saw his messy face grinning back at me.

  Ryan chuckled. “Still waiting on the answer to that one.” He met my gaze and gave me this questioning lopsided grin that made my pulse leap. Why didn’t he hate me? It would be so much easier to turn down his invitation and pretend I never even ran into him. Because after years of wondering about the man he would turn into, he stood right there next to my car and I could not deny he had it all going for him.

  I swallowed and drew in a quick breath to steady the thumping in my chest.

  Think of Noah, I admonished myself. Was pushing Ryan away still going to feel good when we didn’t have a way to get around, or couldn’t make one of the bills piling up on our table? Was I really going to torture myself in the name of survival?

  “Yeah, he’s going to fix our car.” I could handle one afternoon of being around him. When he was done, he’d leave, and that would be it.

  Ryan smiled that stupid smile again. “Do you have Triple A?” he asked.

  I almost laughed. That was a luxury I couldn’t afford. Along with dozens of other things I once had but didn’t anymore. “No.”

  Something passed over his face. Some emotion that I couldn’t quite figure out. Working at the club made me pretty good at reading people, but I didn’t get that one.

  “I have a buddy with a tow truck who owes me a favor. Let me give him a call, and then I can take you guys home. That way I’ll know where to come by to fix it. If that’s okay?”

  I nodded and opened the door. He reached in to help me out of the car.

  His hand was warm and calloused, and I ignored the way my arm tingled from just a touch. It had been so long since I’d felt anything other than exhaustion that it took me a second to pull my hand away.

  God, how long had it been since . . . I shook my head. Too long. That had to be why my body was running hot. I took a shaky breath in and hoped he didn’t notice. As I got Noah and his seat from my car, Ryan grabbed the groceries from the trunk.

  “Leave the keys under the visor,” he said. “And if there’s anything valuable, you might want to grab it just in case. Not the best neighborhood.”

  I almost laughed again. Unless my Taylor Swift CD counted, I had nothing worth anything.

  “I’m good.” I tucked the keys where he said and then took Noah’s sticky hand. I followed Ryan across the parking lot to a black jacked-up truck that had to have cost a fortune. Obviously he’d done well for himself. It made me strangely happy that he had.

  Especially because it meant my father had been so wrong.

  Soon after I’d moved in with my dad, my father asked what Ryan’s plans for the future were. I didn’t have an answer, because Ryan still wasn’t sure. I knew he could do anything he set his mind to, but my father questioned how he would even afford college.

  The next time I saw Ryan I asked him. He didn’t know and I told him it was important to make a decision. High school wouldn’t last forever. I’d already taken on extra coursework to pad my transcripts, at my father’s urging. He said if I applied myself 100 percent, I could aim for the Ivy Leagues.

  That was something I never even dared to dream about.

  He encouraged me to join after-school clubs that would look good on an application. Community service. Student council. Before I knew it, my schedule was full. Something had to give and somehow, my father managed to convince me it was Ryan.

  The worse part about all of it was that he never expressly forbade me from seeing Ryan. The choice to move on with my life had been all mine when I got too busy with everything else in my new life. My father had convinced me that Ryan was not part of my future without ever saying those words.

  Seeing Ryan now, the confident, successful man standing in front of me, made me strangely proud of him. My father was so wrong.

  But then, he’d been wrong about a lot of things. And I was the one paying the price.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ryan

  I tried to get the car seat buckled in the middle of the bench seat in my truck, but holy shit—some engineer must be laughing his head off somewhere at all the idiots trying to work these things. Straps and buckles and nothing made any sense.

  Finally with a little sigh of frustration, Tess pushed my hands aside and pulled the seat belt around it and clicked the belt shut. Oh. That didn’t make me feel dumb at all.

  I tried to ignore the way she smelled like strawberries when she leaned in close. Or how every nerve pulled tight when her fingers brushed over mine.

  It was like all those years just disappeared. Being this close to her screwed up my head. I wanted to ask her so man
y damned questions that I practically choked on them, but I didn’t. That show of defiance when I told her that I could fix her car made me want to smile. That was my Tess. She’d been missing when I first approached her and it worried me, but it didn’t take long for the spark I remembered to come through.

  The girl who used to call me on my bullshit and, in the same breath, tell me that she loved me. God, how the hell was I supposed to reconcile that girl with the one sitting next to me now?

  She glanced over at me and I recognized the look of both hopelessness and sheer determination in her eyes. Seth had the same look when he got out of prison and couldn’t help his sister, Sara.

  He could have gone either way in the weeks that followed. He almost had despite the fact that both Avery and I tried to help him. When he went after his stepfather, I thought that was it. I thought I’d have to visit my best friend behind bars for the next ten to twenty.

  But Seth finally got a break from the shitfest that had been his life and now Sara was out of rehab and on her way to a real life, and Seth didn’t have those shadows in his eyes anymore. Because Avery gave enough of a shit to make him see he was worth it.

  Which has nothing to do with this situation, I reminded myself.

  “So where to?” I asked when she closed the door and pulled on her seat belt.

  Tess gave me directions to her home, and I was surprised to hear that it was only about a half mile from Granite Estates. Neither was in the best part of town. I wanted to ask, but it wasn’t really my business. I glanced over at Noah, who was sitting in the middle of the bench seat, singing the ABCs. Tess had her head resting on the glass, staring out the window. I turned the heat up as soon as the truck was warm enough.

  “Let me know if it gets too hot, ’kay?” I told her.

  She gave me a short nod in reply but didn’t turn her head away from the window. If Noah wasn’t sitting there, I’d be tempted to ask her what happened to her life. I assumed it had something to do with Noah. There wasn’t a ring on her finger, and the amount of groceries she’d bought would barely feed her and Noah, let alone someone else.

  It struck me that she hadn’t called anyone, or asked to borrow my cell. Because there wasn’t anyone at home to call?

  So she was doing this alone, as far as I could tell.

  Why did that make my heart rate speed up?

  “What’s that?” Noah asked, pointing to the toolbox I had wedged in front of the bench seat.

  “My tools. I build things.”

  “I build things too,” Noah said proudly. “I have a lot of blocks, and I make tall castles that my cars can go through. Do you have a lot of blocks too?”

  I chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I do. But I use nails and hammers and a saw to build houses.”

  His eyes got round. “Wow. I need a hammer and a saw too.”

  Tess chuckled. The sound raised goose bumps on my arms. Damn it. “Yeah, I don’t think so,” she said. Her gaze met mine for a second, then dropped.

  “But I could build us a real house, like in the picture we have,” Noah said.

  Tess’s face crumpled and she looked away. Her fingers curled into fists in her lap and I could see her shoulders rising and falling as she sucked in deep breaths.

  Shit. That haunted look was back. The one that made me want to pull her close and not let go. Tess had always had this confidence, this light around her that drew people like moths to a flame. It’s what caught my attention all those years ago.

  Even back then, I just knew she was going places. Not only because she was crazy smart but also because her determination didn’t leave room for anyone to doubt her ability.

  But I didn’t see any of that in the girl sitting in my truck.

  “Hey, buddy, maybe you can be my helper when I come back and fix your mom’s car tomorrow?” I asked, trying to distract him and Tess. From what I had no idea, but it was clear as day, something about a picture made her draw far inside herself.

  “Her name is Tess,” Noah said, puffing out his little chest. “And I can do that,” he said excitedly.

  I saw Tess relax her shoulders, and her fingers loosened in her lap. I wanted to tell him I already knew her name, had known it for a while, but it didn’t seem like the time.

  “Cool.” I reached over and ruffled his hair, then wondered why the hell I just did that. What the hell was I doing? Playing with fire, a voice in my head said. I ignored it.

  “This it?” I asked as we got close to Center Street.

  “Turn right here, then it’s the building on the left.” Tess straightened up and reached down to get her purse.

  I pulled the truck into a small parking lot. It looked like there were eight units, four on top and four on the bottom. The building could use some work and definitely some paint. I hoped she was in one of the top ones, since it was a little safer up there.

  “I’m that one. Three B.” She pointed at the end apartment, top floor, and I pulled into a spot with a tilted sign that read 3B in faded paint. Tess reached over and unbuckled Noah, then started to push the door open before I could pull the keys out of the ignition.

  “Hold on.” I turned off the truck and pulled the seat belt free, then jumped out and jogged around to her door. When I opened it, a bemused smile crossed her face.

  “Thank you.” She hopped out and then lifted Noah down. He immediately headed toward the steps that led up.

  I helped Tess collect her bags and the car seat, but kept it and the heavier bags to carry for her.

  She tilted her head and looked up at me. The gesture was so familiar that it took me a second to remember we weren’t teenagers anymore. This weird mixing of the past and present was fucking with my head.

  “I can carry those myself you know,” she said.

  “I know. I just need to feel useful.” I gave her a half smile and a shrug.

  Noah had reached the small balcony and waved down at us. “You coming, guys?” he yelled down.

  Tess shifted her bags and I thought she was going to ask for the ones I was holding, but with a resigned shrug of her shoulders she turned and started leading me up the stairs. I followed behind, trying to keep my eyes above the waist. And almost succeeded. I was an ass man, and damn, she had always had a nice one that seemed to have only improved.

  I shook my head.

  Not going there.

  Then what the hell are you doing carrying her groceries, dumb-ass?

  Hell if I knew.

  She stopped in front of the door and Noah dug into her purse. He pulled out the keys and struggled to push one into the lock.

  “I got it. I got it,” he muttered.

  I caught Tess’s gaze and chuckled. This kid was a hoot. I didn’t have a lot of experience with little kids, but he seemed damned smart for his age. Which made me wonder exactly how old he was and what the story was with him.

  She’d always wanted kids, but not until we were older and had that house with the blue door and pink roses all around the front. After she became a famous astronomer, of course.

  Looked like her dreams had changed.

  Finally Noah pushed the door open with a loud tada and ran inside. Tess stepped in, then turned, and I could literally see her wall go right back up.

  “I can leave these right here, if you want.” I got it. This was awkward for her too. What was she going to do, invite me in for coffee? Pretend the last seven years had never happened and ignore the kid in the room?

  Her cheeks turned red but she held my gaze. “That would probably be best, yeah. I wasn’t expecting anyone. It’s kind of a mess right now. Well, most of the time honestly, but Noah refused to pick up his toys before we left for the store, so it’s pretty bad.”

  I doubted there was even enough mess to worry about. After my mother walked out, my father barely found the energy to take the trash to the Dumpster. How many
times did I throw out the dishes because they sat encrusted with food for so long, it was easier to throw them away?

  But I wasn’t going to be an ass and call her out on her obvious lie. “No problem, I should get going anyway so I can call my buddy and get your car back here.” I was going to see her tomorrow, so why the hell wouldn’t my feet move away now?

  “Hey, mister, you wanna see my blocks?” Noah asked from just inside.

  “Maybe next time, buddy. And hey, get a good night’s sleep tonight. Can’t have my helper too tired to help.”

  “I will!”

  “Oh, can I see your phone?” I asked her.

  Her eyes widened and I saw her fingers go tight around her bags.

  “I want you to have my number in case something comes up or maybe if you get a better offer.” Her choked-out laugh was worth it. It eased some of the strain around her eyes.

  “Noah, can you give Ryan my phone, please.”

  Hearing my name on her lips hadn’t gotten old yet. And that should have me running for the fucking hills like a madman. Instead, Noah brought me her phone and I programmed my number in. “I should be here around ten tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

  She nodded. “That sounds good. And . . .” She took a deep breath, as if the words hurt to get out. “And thank you, Ryan. For the ride and for fixing my car.”

  “I’m glad I was there to help you.” And I meant it. I actually never expected to see Tess again, but now that I had, I almost wished I hadn’t. Not like this.

  Not close enough to see how vulnerable and tired and determined she was.

  Because the girl I used to love needed help, and fuck me if I’d be able to walk away from that.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  tess

  I would have bet a night’s pay that Ryan wouldn’t show up in the morning. I knew he hadn’t gotten my number, only given me his, so he’d be out nothing if he just didn’t come by. As awkward as yesterday had been, I still wouldn’t trade it for the world.

  I got to see Ryan.

  And it was obvious that seven years had not changed the way he made me feel. Which was what had me half hoping he didn’t show up this morning. I knew nothing about his life. Did he have someone at home? Someone like him surely would.