“Is it Melanie’s bullshit, then? You know I don’t care about her,” Trent insisted as he squeezed her breast too hard through her bra.
He always did it too hard. She had just overlooked it up to this point.
“I care about you, Nikky. I’ll show you, we’ll skip the blowjob and go right to bed.”
“How sporting,” she said drily.
Trent scowled. She had just gone from a mild annoyance to anger.
“What’s your problem? For fuck’s sake, Nikky, you don’t think I got enough to deal with handling my witch of an ex and my shit-head boss? And now you gotta make me jump through hoops to get in your pants?”
So these are his true colors, she thought. He had the sulky look of a man denied what he wanted. Nikky was suddenly seeing his ex in a whole new light.
“I’m not your whore, Trent, so don’t talk to me like one.”
His lower lip was trembling. She had definitely hit a nerve. “I thought you were different. You women all think your shit doesn’t stink. I try, I fucking try. I spend time with you, treat you well, but you know what? You always get your hooks into us in the end. Oh, you may not take my money like Melanie, but you want me for a surrogate husband, to make you feel good at night. You cash out each and every time I come here, Nikky, so let’s just say it, you are a whore. A fucking, ex-cheerleader, has-been whore.”
Nikky slapped him hard. Sheer reflex. Given their difference in size and strength, it would probably only make him madder but there was no taking it back now.
Trent held his hand over his cheek, deflated. “I guess I had that coming, didn’t I? So where do we go from here?”
“There is no we. I think you should go home,” she said.
“Just because I called you a whore?” His eyes held panic as he realized he was about to be cut off. “Hey, I’m a whore too, it’s nothing personal. We’re a whole fucking planet of whores, only some of us get to be on top.”
He seemed different, weirdly scary and…desolate. Nikky watched intently as he pulled the silver flask from his back pocket. More alcohol. That made her very wary.
Shame on her for not noticing sooner. Too much Ian on the brain, sleep-walking through her day, imagining his lips on her bare skin, drawing her in, holding her, letting her laugh, cry…and come.
“I need to use the bathroom. I gotta clear my head.”
Her heart was pounding. “Sure, Trent, you know where to find it.”
“When I come out, we’ll fix things up. You get naked, Nikky, I’ll make this right.”
“I’ll be in bed,” she promised, her mind kicking into survival mode, already two steps ahead, planning her way to the cell phone on the counter, praying he wouldn’t try to take it from her. “You know I still need you, Trent, you know I want you.”
His eyes widened as she pulled the shirt over her head, giving him a sneak preview. She had her gray bra on, the one that did so much for her cleavage. “Hurry,” she rasped.
He nearly tripped over his feet on the way.
What a mess. A part of her wanted to run like hell out of the apartment. Another part was afraid for Trent. What if he was suicidal?
She had never seen him like this, there was no telling. One thing was sure, she definitely needed help. Should she call 9-1-1 or was there another way?
“Please, Trent, take a long time,” she whispered fiercely as she retrieved the phone and hit the button to return the last call. “And you, Mr. Sex Guru,” she whispered to Ian wherever he was. “You better fucking answer your phone, you hear me?”
Chapter Five
Ian was just messing around at the moment, hitting the ball, slamming his body against the wall over and over, forcing himself to rebound the most impossible, punishing shots. He paused mid-swing when his cell phone rang and walked over to pick it up from his bag.
“Hamilton,” he announced into the receiver, not bothering to look at the caller ID.
“Ian? Oh god, is that you?”
His heart stopped dead in his chest. “Nikky? What’s wrong?”
He could only make out every other word. Something about her bathroom and Trent, her dinner date, not wanting to leave.
Ian would kill the man, whoever he was. “Nikky, where do you live? I don’t know your address.”
She breathed out the number and the street. He knew the neighborhood well. It was less than ten minutes from the club.
“Have you called 9-1-1? Are you still in the apartment now? Do you have anything to protect yourself with?”
“Wait, hold on a second.”
Ian heard a man’s voice in the background, more pathetic and miserable than dangerous.
The next sound was that of a door opening. Then he heard Nikky sigh into the receiver. “Looks like we can call off the Marines, he’s getting sick in the toilet. I’ll take it from here, Ian. I’m sorry I involved you.”
“Baby,” Ian heard the man moan. “I’m not feeling so hot.”
Ian’s jaw clenched. “Why is he calling you baby?”
“Because it’s a date, remember?” she said sardonically.
“Nikky,” the man whined, his voice echoing in the porcelain bowl. “I need a wash cloth.”
Ian had heard enough. “Don’t you go near him, Dominique. I will be right there.”
“Ian, I told you it isn’t necessary.”
“Well it’s not your fucking choice anymore,” he growled, speaking with a passion he had never fully realized until just this moment. “If you can’t make the right decisions, I will have to start making them for you.”
“This conversation is over,” said Nikky. “I would say our relationship is over too, but we never had one, did we?”
Ian hurled the phone against the wall, splintering the metal and plastic. They did have a relationship. They always had and he was going to prove it once and for all.
* * * * *
Ian’s words had hurt. Deep down in a place Nikky didn’t think anyone could get to anymore. It wasn’t the content. Men were always criticizing her but she could usually see it coming a mile away. Even if she couldn’t, it just bounced off. But Ian was supposed to be different.
What about all his fancy speeches and fancy lovemaking? Was it all a cruel joke, the universe’s way of kicking her ass?
Ian the geek transformed before her eyes into Ian the cruel.
At least he was out of her life. Shame on her though, for caring what he thought or whether he respected her or not, right?
Trent was groaning, grabbing his stomach. She had him sit on the edge of the bathtub.
“I’m such a monumental fuckup,” he rasped. “I trusted that bitch Melanie. She took everything. Love is shit, Nikky, absolute shit.”
“You’ll get no argument from me. Come on, I’ll help you to the couch.”
“Jeezus.” He shook his head. “What the hell did I say to you before?”
“Nothing worth repeating.”
Nikky staggered under his weight. He had his arm over her shoulder, his wrist limp. They half walked, half stumbled into the living room. She had just managed to get him settled and snoring on one of the pillows when the pounding started at the front door.
Fuck. Now what?
Was she going to have to deal with a psychotic Melanie or would it be Ian, her own personal nightmare?
Nikky opened the door, upbraiding him instantly. “Keep it down, will you? Trent is sleeping it off in here.”
Ian’s gaze narrowed menacingly. “The hell he is. I’m putting his drunken ass out on the street. What did he do to you, anyway? If he laid a hand on you, I swear to god—”
“He didn’t do a thing,” said Nikky, filled with sudden venom. “Not compared to what you did.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You didn’t have to.” The emotions were backing up, making it harder and harder to be logical. It was a damn uncomfortable place to be.
Hell, maybe she and Ian were more alike than Nikky had realized.
; “You made it clear where you stand, Ian. I’m an irresponsible little twit in your eyes. Women like Kaity and I must really amuse you, huh? Well, that’s our job, we make you hot and if you play your cards right, you take us to bed. Been there, done that. I’m yesterday’s news. So who you got lined up for tomorrow? Kaity? Or maybe Miss Viera, our old Spanish teacher? She’d be about forty. You’d still do her, right?”
“Have you lost your mind, Nikky? Where is all this coming from?” Declining to wait for an invitation, he pushed his way in.
“No, Ian, I don’t want you here, not in my apartment, not in my life.”
Something dark flashed across his eyes. “Why the fuck not? Are you hell bent against being with someone who treats you decently?”
“Trent doesn’t judge me. He shot his mouth off because his life is a hot mess most of the time. He needs sex to make it bearable and so do I. We don’t all live on Tibetan mountaintops.”
She knew she had struck a nerve, she just didn’t know how deep.
“We don’t all fall off them either, goddamn it,” he shot back.
Nikky cocked her head. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing, not a frigging thing. Just make your choice—either he goes or I do.”
“You aren’t making sense, Ian. You have to slow down. I’m not a genius, remember?”
Ian frowned. “Stop putting yourself down, will you?”
“Then you stop hiding,” she fumed. “Stop acting like some kind of frigging existential monk and just be a regular guy. Talk to me over a damn cup of coffee. Tell me that you’re as fucked up as the rest of us.”
“I don’t drink coffee.”
“Did someone say coffee?” Trent groaned from the sofa.
Nikky looked straight at Ian. She wasn’t sure who cracked first but they both ended up laughing. They were so wrapped up in each other that they’d totally forgotten about Trent.
“I’ll call a cab for Trent,” Nikky said.
* * * * *
After Trent was safely packed off, Nikky turned to Ian and they fell into each other’s arms.
“I died,” Ian whispered. “When I woke up and found you gone the other morning, there was nothing left of me.”
“Oh, Ian,” she sighed, centering herself in his deep and wonderful eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t know what to do.”
“It was my fault.” He brushed the stray hairs from her face. “You are right. I should have slowed things down.”
“No.” She beamed at him. “That wouldn’t be you. You’re Ian the geek, remember? You do everything in your own inimitable way. Come on, admit it, you used Einstein’s theory of sex on me, didn’t you?”
“All fucking is relative,” he deadpanned. “Unless it’s between you and me.”
“I will definitely confirm that theory.” She kissed him fiercely, fencing with his tongue. Her eyes slid shut, her body was hot against him, her breasts pulsing, her sex moistening, as if on cue.
“Keep that up,” he said huskily, “and I will take you straight to bed.”
“I’m counting on it,” she said, tugging his T-shirt from the waistband of his jeans.
“You’ve been making me some big promises, old buddy. I hope you can back them up.”
“Haven’t I already?”
“That was just beginner’s luck.”
Ian growled playfully. “We’ll see about that.”
She squealed as he lifted her off the floor and cradled her in his arms.
Oh god, that felt good. She could stay there forever. And she might too, except there was so much more waiting for the two of them to enjoy back in the bedroom.
“Point the way,” he said, reading her mind.
She did so, directing him to her four-poster bed which was about to get a much needed workout, as was she.
“By the way,” he said, tossing her on the bed. “You could have just said yes when I asked you for a date earlier. It would have been a lot simpler.”
“Since when have you and I ever been simple? Oh god, Ian, I do love you. I think I always have,” she sighed, watching, mesmerized as he pulled the T-shirt over his head baring his sculpted, bronzed chest.
He arched a brow as he undid the snap of his jeans. “So you love me, huh? And how exactly would you define that?”
She blinked as though the admission had been as much of a surprise to her as to him. “I don’t know. What about you?”
“What about me?” He had his sneakers off and his jeans were down at his ankles. His erect cock tented his boxers, tantalizing her with its hidden dimensions. Once he was naked, she noticed some scars and realized that he still owed her answers about his past.
“What do you think, goofball? We’re talking about love, remember?”
“Oh yeah, I tend to get forgetful around divine perfection.”
“If anyone’s divine it’s you,” she insisted, opening her arms to receive him as he crawled onto the bed, his lips seeking hers.
He kissed her softly, teasingly. “The truth is, I love you too, but I’m not sure what it means either. And believe me, that’s a lot for me to admit.”
“Tell me about it. You used to know everything.”
“Hah. When it came to the one thing that really mattered, I was clueless.”
Nikky reached up and touched his cheek. “Dear, sweet Ian. What am I to you, really? By your own admission, I can’t even make decent life decisions. That hardly qualifies me for goddess material.”
“It does if I say so. Trust me. You are totally immortal in my imagination.”
“You know,” she conceded, running her fingers over his chest. “You weren’t the only one fantasizing.”
“Oh?”
“I had a dream about you once. It freaked me out a little, to be honest. I had forgotten about it until this morning.”
“Was I that repulsive?” he teased.
“No, it was just so intense. It was our junior year. We were up all night, doing our final English projects.”
“You mean we were up all night doing your English project. I had mine done two months in advance.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Do you want to hear this or not?”
“Depends,” he rasped, sliding his hands along her thighs, up under the hem of her skirt. “Are you going to get me all worked up and then leave me high and dry afterward?”
“Yeah, because that’s really something I would do. Not.”
Ian turned her over slightly and gave her bottom a playful smack. “Talk woman, now.”
Her breathing quickened from the sudden heat of his palm. “I was on the beach, wearing my yellow bathing suit—you remember the one?”
“Are you kidding? I had every article of clothing of yours memorized, right down to that sparkly belt you used to wear with your white jeans. God I loved that belt.”
She laughed. Her cheeks flushed. “If I had known you were so fond of it, I would have given it to you.”
“You’re all heart.”
“Anyhow, it was really hot,” she continued her recollection. “I was on my back, letting the rays bake me. I kept thinking how nice it would be to have someone rub in some lotion. I expected one of the usual crowd of jocks but all of a sudden you came along. I remember it so clearly. ‘Why are you surprised,’ you said, ‘when I am the one who knows you?’ Isn’t that strange? And then you started rubbing in the lotion.
“Oh god, it turned me on. You just laughed and told me to relax. Next thing I knew I had my legs apart. You took off my top and my bottom, pulling on the little strings and then…and then you got on top of me. I have never told that dream to anyone Ian. Not even Kaity.”
“I’m glad you waited,” he said, lifting her arms and maneuvering her out of the pretty pink tank top. “I would have freaked out if you had told me back in high school.”
She put her arms around his neck and drew him close. Their bodies melded, soft moans between them, speaking the needs that kept buil
ding and building.
“I thought one night would settle things between us,” Ian explained. “I thought it would balance things.”
“What things, Ian?”
“I will tell you later.”
“Is it about the accident?”
“Later,” he repeated, unzipping her skirt.
She was in no position to argue.
Her limbs had all but lost the power to move. Feeling like a rag doll, she let him maneuver her onto her side. He slid the skirt off and moved in close against her and began nibbling at her neck.
“Shall we see about giving those sweet breasts some attention?” he whispered hotly in her ear.
She arched her back, reaching for him. “Please, yes, Ian.”
He undid the clasp of her bra and slid it off. One by one he kissed her shoulders, filling her with warmth that radiated outward. By the time it reached the juncture of her thighs it was like a red-hot sting, a gnawing itch she couldn’t satisfy.
Mindlessly, she clawed at her panties, trying to pull them away from her skin, suddenly as hot as the sun on a summer beach.
“Not very patient, are we?”
“Will you take me from behind?” she pleaded.
“I will give the matter my utmost consideration,” he promised.
Nikky ground her ass against his cock. “I’ll make you come right now, smart guy,” she threatened.
He scoffed. “You think I’m an eighteen-year-old with no self control?”
Working herself free of his grasp, Nikky wriggled onto her other side so she was facing him.
“Mine,” she reminded him, taking control of his shaft with tightly clenched fingers. “Remember?”
“That was a one-night deal,” he countered.
“I’m renewing it. Any problem with that?” Nikky pinched his left nipple, holding it fast.
Ian sucked in his breath. “I suppose I should answer very carefully at this point.”
“Yes, slave, you should.”
“I would be careful with the role-play. Don’t get in over your head. I make it look easy, but it isn’t.”
Nikky squeezed his nipple harder, getting his attention. “You really are full of yourself sometimes, Mr. Hamilton, you know that?”
Ian winced and smiled at the same time. “So what are you going to do with all this new-found power?”
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