‘Kate wants the Veil dead, and that would be the end of us.’ He held up a finger and thumb. ‘I once came this close to getting burnt at the stake. We can’t live in that world, Finn. It always ends in tears. Or in flames.’
She blew out a disgusted breath. ‘Anything else you’ve forgotten to tell me?’
‘I’m sure there is. It’ll all come to me.’
‘How about explaining last night, then? Why wouldn’t you speak to me?’
‘What?’ He laughed. ‘I spoke to you plenty last night. When you weren’t sulking.’
‘Yeah, yeah. Not then, before. Hours before. When I was in the wood on my own and you came by.’
He opened his mouth. Shut it again.
‘I saw you in the trees. You know I did.’
He’d gone very pale and he wasn’t laughing. Liath sat up and watched Finn very directly. ‘I wasn’t there earlier,’ he said. ‘I had to ride like stink to get there when I did.’
‘I know it’s a secret.’ She glanced around impatiently. ‘But we’re on our own. Conal. Come on.’
He seemed a little stunned at being caught out. ‘I dare say you did, Finn. Tell me what I said to you.’
‘I told you. You didn’t say anything. Trust me now?’
‘I see.’ His pupils were dilated but there was tumultuous silver light in them. ‘And what was I wearing?’
‘Your long black coat. That dead cool cashmere one. Stop it, okay?’
‘My eyes, Finn.’ He attempted a smile. ‘What colour were my eyes?’
‘Grey, you big tube, same as—’ Her laughter died quite abruptly. ‘Black,’ she said. ‘Your eyes were black.’
He took hold of the back of her head so suddenly she flinched, but he only gripped her tighter, staring into her eyes.
‘Was it your evil twin or something?’ She was angry with him now. ‘Let go.’
He did let go, very sharply. ‘Two sights,’ he whispered. ‘Oh, Finn. You have two sights.’
He gave the faintest sigh. Then he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, holding it so it didn’t spring back out. ‘Of course you saw me,’ he said, his eyes scarily bright. ‘But listen. It’s my business. Don’t mention it to anyone. All right? Anyone.’ He hesitated. ‘Especially not Seth.’
She nodded, speechless. As Conal got up, and helped her to her feet, she leaned forward and laid her hand on his breastbone. Then she snatched it abruptly away.
‘You’re afraid!’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘But you don’t have to be. The fetch can’t harm you.’
She opened her mouth to ask what a fetch was, but he was already striding across the sand, and the black horse was turning and trotting to him. The white wolf followed, but not before she’d given Finn the most reproachful look she’d ever felt in her life.
You’d have thought my brother and Jed were joined by an invisible wire. The boy was turning into a stalker since the incident on the beach, since his stupidity had nearly got him and Conal killed. My presence at Conal’s side gave him temporary pause, but at last he could no longer resist the tug of devotion. I wasn’t about to move from my spot by the fire and he must have known it, so he gave me a sidelong glare, then slumped down beside Conal.
He chewed his lip and muttered, ‘Sorry about your mother and that.’
‘Yeah, thanks. I thought she’d be sorrier to leave us.’
‘But she was old? I mean, really old.’
‘Ha. Yes.’ Biting a thumbnail, Conal slung his free arm round Liath’s neck. ‘But I don’t get why she was so happy to go. Life’s so good, Jed. Longer I live the more I get attached to it.’
Jed grunted. ‘Unlike that other guy.’
‘What?’
‘The guy you killed last night.’
Conal started on another fingernail. ‘Yes.’
‘He’s not too attached to his life any more, is he?’
‘It was supposed to be you, Cuilean,’ I snapped. ‘Someone does your killing for you: that makes you lucky. Not morally fecking superior.’
‘Seth, that’s enough.’ Conal rubbed his temples. ‘Life’s precious, Jed, but by an accident of fate and a chain of events, your life is more precious to me than his was.’ He leaned his jaw on his hand. ‘Cuthag meant what he said about Laszlo. His lieutenant was coming after you.’
‘Here. Have another vicarious death.’ Reaching into the fire I raked out an old charred chunk of rabbit, still singeingly hot, and tossed it into Jed’s lap. Yelping, he swatted it away across the flames; Torc caught it, shrugged, and ate it.
‘Wanker.’ Jed stood up and clenched his fists, breathing hard. ‘You’re not normal.’
I howled a laugh. ‘Normal! Look who’s talking!’
He shrank back as I got to my feet, and seemed satisfyingly afraid as I tilted his head and gazed into his eyes. ‘You’re an aberration in a warped world, Cuilean! How’s that normal? Your food’s full of chemicals! Your mother’s full of chemicals! You don’t even exist, normal boy.’
‘Get away from me!’ Jed tried to push me back.
Rising, Conal gave me a cold warning glare. ‘Yes. Get away from him, Seth.’
‘No, let’s play Trivial Pursuit.’ I grinned in Jed’s face.
‘Get away from me!’
‘What’s your dad’s name? She ever tell you?’
Jed wanted to hit me, and I was hoping he’d try. But I wasn’t watching for Finn. The first I remembered of her was when she flung herself at me, knocking me almost off my feet, hammering at my face with her fists and kicking viciously at my groin. I grabbed her wrists, desperately holding her at arm’s length.
‘Look, Conal, look!’ Now that I’d got over the shock, I was helpless with laughter as I dodged her flailing feet. She squealed with rage and pain as she tried to tug her wrists free. ‘Finny’s gone native! She doesn’t give a toss for us, she’s sticking up for the whelp!’
‘Get your hands off her!’ Conal grabbed my fingers and twisted them savagely. I stumbled back, blowing on my knuckles, still laughing, as Conal seized Finn. There were tears of fury on her cheeks.
‘Don’t cry, Dorsal! He doesn’t exist, your Lost Boy!’
‘You. You heartless bastard!’
‘Too right, sweetie! Best way! Saves me ending up like your father!’
She gave an abrupt scream of pure rage, clawing hopelessly for my face. ‘My father had a heart condition!’
I had to step back, gasping with half-hysteria. ‘Heart condition?’ I howled. ‘Gods yes! Hard for a heart to go on beating with a blade in it!’
Silence. Horrible, thick and dark. Conal’s expression was like winter without the beauty.
I knew I’d gone too far. And as Conal released Finn I knew he’d lost control, I knew it from his bared teeth and his shining silver eyes. So I shouldn’t have been surprised when he barked an insult at me and my mother in the same cold breath. It was as true as it was vicious.
‘You bastard son of a whore.’
Sionnach took a shocked breath, but no-one spoke. Branndair backed protectively against me, showing Conal his fangs in spite of Liath’s warning growl.
That was good. That was loyal of him. Lightly I touched Branndair’s mind with my own. I took a breath, and another. I waited for the sharp steel pain to fade, and then I smiled coldly.
‘That’s me, big man.’
Conal shut his eyes. ‘Murlainn,’ he said.
‘That temper of yours.’ I made my voice mild. I ran my fingers idly into Branndair’s fur. ‘It’ll be the death of you.’
‘Seth, man, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.’
‘No.’
‘You know I didn’t. I’m sorry.’
No. I knew that. And I knew that apology had come hard. Leaning my head against the roan’s neck, I gave Conal a reluctant sidelong grin.
Finn would rather have seen me get a proper slapping, not just a verbal one. ‘Why are you apologising to him?’ she yelled.
‘He’s r
eminding me,’ I said coldly, ‘that lies are sometimes better than the truth.’
She stared at me, then at Conal. ‘That explains it, then. You lying to me for sixteen years.’
‘Yes, actually it—’
‘Shut it, Seth. Finn, it wasn’t like that, I told you. I didn’t want to—’
‘My father!’ It came out on a raging sob. ‘You said it was his heart. You lied about my father!’
How nice that this time, the hideous silence was not on my account.
Still, ‘Get over yourself,’ I snapped. ‘Aonghas was as big a loss to Conal as he was to you. More. And Conal’s been as much your father as Aonghas would have been.’
‘Who? Sorry? I’m not quite sure who you mean.’
‘Finn—’ But Conal hesitated, and was lost.
‘You mean him? The man I don’t even know? The one who rides around with a sword and kills innocent farmers?’
Eili stood up. Sionnach looked at the ground.
‘I loved you, Conal. But I never even knew who you were.’
She flung Jed away and stumbled off into the trees.
Nobody met anyone else’s eyes for long seconds. The past tense hit me like a delayed ricochet; the gods knew what it was doing for Conal.
‘Will I—’ began Sionnach.
‘No. No. I don’t think – no, leave her. Let her cool off. I don’t know.’ Conal’s jaw was tight.
‘She’ll get over it,’ I said.
‘Not if you have anything to do with it,’ growled Jed.
I shrugged, hefted the deer carcass and lugged it out of the clearing. Hard to butcher it in the darkness and the closeness of the trees, but that wasn’t why I wanted away from everyone. A little beyond the edge of the wood, just below a sandy landslip, there was a jumbled outcrop of rock. Slinging the carcass down, I drew my hunting knife, aware that Conal had followed me. He kept staring back into the trees.
I did think, for a moment, I should offer to go after her myself. Apologise to the silly cow. Calm things down. Tell her how she’d hurt him; I knew, even if he didn’t, that she’d forgive him in the end, and the sooner the better. I’d give her a little longer. Then if Conal didn’t go, I would. I could swallow enough pride, even if I choked on it.
I jerked my knife through the deer’s belly and tugged out its entrails, then flung them towards Branndair and the blue roan. The horse beat the wolf to it, but they’d both had quite enough anyway. Conal watched me so intently, I knew he was trying not to think about Finn. Pushing his shirt sleeves up his arms, he stared out at the morning lightening over the sea.
‘She can’t go far,’ I said. ‘She’s just cooling off.’
‘I know.’
Maybe we didn’t want to think anything else. Me especially. If I opened my mouth now, how would I ever explain myself?
It was a bleak landscape, and it was already paling into winter. The translucent sky was streaked with great archipelagos of cloud, lit by an unseen sun below a cloudbank on the landward horizon.
‘Sunrise already,’ I said, not looking up from my bloody hands. ‘It’s been nearly two days.’
‘Gods.’
‘You don’t need to panic.’ I sat back on my haunches and studied his face. Sometimes I wanted to shake my brother. ‘But Jed should be long gone.’
‘Jed should, yes.’ I’d expected a bollocking, not his sad defeated misery. ‘Tell me, Seth. Am I wrong?’
‘You’re asking the wrong person. You know what I think. Finn should have been brought here a long time ago.’
Rubbing his neck, Conal stared at the dunes in the middle distance. The old deep parallel lines still stood out white and ugly on his left arm. ‘I’ll take her back. Eventually.’
‘She won’t go before ‘eventually’. She’s not ready, she needs to be where she belongs. She’s been lied to for a long time. Stella’s had her way for sixteen years.’
‘And I’m as mad as hell at her. That what you want to hear?’
I shrugged. ‘Fact is, you don’t want Finn to go back either.’
‘No, I don’t. I have to stay now; I don’t have a choice. If Finn goes back, I might never see her again.’
‘Give her time, then. Give yourself some, for that matter.’
‘If you say so.’ He tore off a nail with his teeth. ‘I’m not sure how long I can risk it. Never mind Kate, my life won’t be worth living anyway. I’m for it.’
I grinned. ‘You’re safe. Stella can’t come back here; now you can’t go there.’
‘Oh, cheers. Thanks a lot.’ He punched me amicably.
‘So you might as well get Jed.’
‘I’ll do it right now.’ He winked at me, and raised his voice only slightly. ‘Jed? Come on out.’
The silence and the stillness remained for a few moments, but neither of us spoke, and at last the boy crawled out from a gap in the grey rock outcrop.
‘Thank Christ you’re not a social worker,’ he muttered. Conal grinned at Liath, in whose amber eyes Jed’s reflection was trapped like a fly.
‘It’s time we got you home, that’s all.’
‘About time,’ Jed grunted. ‘I don’t belong here.’
‘It’s not that,’ said Conal, slinging an arm round Liath’s shaggy neck, ‘though you don’t.’
Jed shook his head. ‘You’re such a tosser.’
‘See? You and Seth are of one mind.’
I laughed.
Jed nodded at Conal’s bare arm, and the white scored lines. ‘What are those?’
‘Those?’ Conal ran his finger across one of them, avoiding my eyes, and tugged his sleeve back down. ‘Those are my sins.’
I remembered how deep the cuts had gone. No wonder the scars were ugly.
‘Oh, aye? Is that what you do for a penance round here?’
‘A penance? Count them, Jed. There’s only one of me.’
I stretched my arms, yawned. ‘Conversation over, Cuilean.’
Conal lay back to watch the astonishing sky, the wolf slumping beside him to wash his ear with her tongue. ‘Hey, Liath, that tickles.’
Rebuffed, Liath turned her mothering instincts on Jed, licking his face till he grabbed her muzzle to scratch behind her ears. While he was distracted, I took a long glance at Conal. The morning light was strong on the angles of his face, his eye sockets and cheekbones hollow, the stubble of a dark blond beard on his jaw and lip. His eyes were haunted and miserable.
I shook off a twinge of anxiety. All he needed was a few hours’ sleep.
‘Cù Chaorach, you look like shite,’ I said. ‘You need to—’
‘Get going. Right.’ Conal stood up, the exhausted sadness gone. Or it would have been, if I hadn’t known him better. ‘And so do you, Jed. You might not have noticed, but you’re getting kind of comfortable here. You want to watch it when that happens.’
‘Listen, man, I can’t wait to get out of here.’
‘Just before you do,’ I murmured, ‘be a dear and give us back that brooch.’
‘What?’
‘You know. The one you nicked off Leonora’s workbench.’
His face froze, but he studiously avoided looking guilty as he fished in his inside pocket for the jewel, and handed it over. It was even more beautiful in sunlight, and the dazzle made the stones look bigger.
‘We wouldn’t have known,’ said Conal kindly. ‘Leonora told us.’
‘I didn’t know she knew.’ Jed sounded sullen and offended.
‘Ah, she only knew because she missed it. She knew every piece, and no-one else could possibly have taken it. Nicely done, by the way. You could have given me a few tips.’
‘What?’
‘I mean, you’re better at it than I ever was.’ Conal winked.
Jed’s fierce blush faded as he let that sink in. ‘You’re a thief and all?’ He paused. ‘People don’t notice you, of course.’
Conal rubbed his scalp. ‘Not much.’
‘I could use a Veil. In Tesco.’
I snorted.
‘Sionnach will take you back to the watergate, okay?’ Conal studied the elaborate tangle of gold, then placed it back in Jed’s hand and closed his fingers over it. ‘Don’t sell it for a pittance, right? It’s worth a lot. Should keep you going for a while.’
Jed was too shocked to say anything, and I thought better of it too.
Conal couldn’t quite meet Jed’s eyes. ‘It was nice knowing you, okay? I think you’ll be fine.’
Jed swallowed. ‘Are you all right? Is something bothering you? Can I—’
‘Yes. No. And no. Is that all?’ Conal smiled thinly. ‘What is it, Sionnach?’
The man’s face was white as he ran out of the trees.
‘Cù Chaorach,’ said Sionnach. ‘She’s disappeared. Gone. Finn’s gone.’
PART THREE
Clambering over the barbed wire, Jed dropped to the ground and stared back into the gloom of the wood. The weather had turned fast; the beaten-metal surface of the Fairy Loch was pale grey and wintry between the black pine trunks, a faint breeze feathering its surface. There was an ache in his gut he hadn’t expected.
He was glad he’d got out of that hideous wild place. Hated to think what Conal would be doing by now. Stringing everyone up, if he hadn’t found Finn. Stringing her up if he had.
He shook off the memory: Conal’s wild grief and fury, his bawled order to Sionnach to get the boy home now so he could get his arse back and help with the hunt. Jed wondered what had happened to Finn: why she’d vanished, and where to.
Oh, who cared? The way she’d acted in the last few hours – self-absorbed, throwing tantrum after tantrum – there was no reason why he should. Anyway, she’d been so clearly desperate to see the back of him. Hell with her, and to hell with Conal. It wasn’t his business any more; never had been. With luck his mother would soon up sticks and move again. Please, God, he thought, this time let her pick a decent-sized city, somewhere he wouldn’t even get the chance to be tempted to make friends.
Mila would have to get her head together soon, before the authorities latched on to her. For all Jed knew, their number was already up and the social workers had moved in in his absence.
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