by KJ Bell
Guadalupe holds an icepack to my eye as my father paces the room. “You should not have challenged him. I warned you that underneath all the nice exterior, he’s still an animal.”
I frown, staring at my father; a once powerful man who’s now as helpless as I am. “Papa, stop, please.”
“I’m going to kill him!”
“And the cartel will kill you. What then? What will happen to Guadalupe and the kids?”
“There has to be a way to get rid of him. I just don’t know who to trust.”
“It’s okay, Papa.”
There’s a tap at the door. Marco enters and makes his way to me. “Mr. Montez sent me up to check on you.” He stands close and I feel him slide the phone into my pocket. He whispers. “Do whatever you need to. I’ll help you.” Then he stands and says, “He wanted to see if you’ve recovered from your fall. He asked if you’re ready to join him?”
“Tell him I’m feeling better and I can’t wait to join him.”
I politely ask my parents to give me a moment alone and they leave with Marco. A small smile touches my lips as I glance at the camera in the bedroom on my way into the bathroom. This time, the lock on the door is secure, and I run the water in the shower to drown out the sound of the text I send Tug.
Once I’m finished typing, I bring the phone close to my chest as though if I squeeze hard enough, I will somehow feel him.
Over the last few weeks, the feelings I keep denying for Peyton have grown more intense. I like her and I want her to play a significant role in my life. I want her to officially be my girlfriend. The woman saved me and did so by simply believing in me. She’s not a doormat, or willing to put up with an ounce of my shit. Peyton knows the type of man I am behind the walls I put up, and yet, this glorious angel still cares, still wants to be here. I’ve been honest and she’s still eager to take a chance.
I’m in awe of her. Of each time her contagious laugh forces me to smile, of each time my bullshit is challenged with a harsh look. She’s unexpected and brilliant and although she scares me, I’m all in with Peyton.
My conflict resides in knowing that my relationship with Eduardo is coming to an end. His money has been routed without a single detail missed. A thick paper trail has formed and the theft all leads back to Eduardo. I’ve succeeded in hustling the ultimate hustler and Eduardo will never see it coming. Thanks to my hacker friend, Riley, not one dime of Eduardo’s money was ever wired to me. Instead Eduardo stole and invested a large sum from the Guerra cartel, a fact I will soon be alerting Mr. Guerra to.
If not for Maria and Javier, I would have done so already, but I need an opportunity to warn them first. I owe them that much.
Robert Dellisen admitted to his crimes. The police found Peyton’s belongings in his house, and with the break-in at her place, he didn’t stand a chance of winning a jury trial. His confession was merely a means to reduce his sentence, but I’m grateful she’s free from him. He’ll be bound to an ankle monitor and attending classes for the next year. With the addition of the restraining order the judge granted, I feel confident Peyton is safe.
The last couple of days, I’ve come to believe Peyton and I have a real future. The time has come to let go of my past and to no longer allow it to control me. Peyton’s a fresh start, one I didn’t see coming, but needed desperately.
Peyton comes into the living room. I expect she wants me to come to bed. It’s late and I’ve been working on my laptop at the kitchen island. The worried look on her face concerns me as she approaches, holding my cell phone out to me in her outstretched hand.
“What is it?”
Without an answer, she places the cell phone in my hand and bends my fingers over it. I can barely hold onto it as I read a text I never expected.
M: My dear Tug. I’m sorry it took so long to reach out to you, but he watches me. I have to warn you. Eduardo plans to ruin your career and then he wants to see you dead. Please be careful. I’m sorry I left, but it was to protect you and your family. Know that I love you more than anything.
Peyton in my side-vision blurs away. A wave of emotion ripples through me as I stare at the screen, a mixture of anger and regret, happiness and confusion. As the words on the screen settle, I fear who’s actually on the other end of the phone. Eduardo could be testing me and I respond appropriately.
T: My business with Mr. Montez is none of your concern. Don’t contact me again.
I glance up at a sad Peyton, but before I speak, my phone vibrates with another text.
M: You don’t believe it’s me, Ryan?
I smile, remembering how I told Maria my name was Ryan when we first met and then continue reading.
M: We once had a cereal fight in your kitchen. You proposed to me on the beach. Our first time was in the shower. Please, it’s me. You have to believe me.
She could have told those things to Eduardo. I think of a question that she’d have to answer quickly.
T: What was the first thing you ever said to me? You have seconds to respond.
She does.
M: I asked if smelling cigars helped you decide which one to buy.
I need one more to be certain. As I try to think of something another text comes in.
M: Come on. You thought I was a barista or worked fast food. You asked to feel my kitty. It’s me.
T: Maria.
M: Yes. Please, whatever you’re planning, don’t go through with it.
T: I have to, but I don’t want you to worry.
M: Eduardo was in the lobby at your place the night I left you. He threatened to kill you and my father if I didn’t leave you and go with him.
T: I’m going to get you and Javier out of there. We’re going to be a family again.
I answered immediately and without a second thought of the woman, who moments ago, I was all in with. The angel standing beside me radiates concern. She knew this day would come, and I would be forced to make a choice. Sadly, she also knew it wouldn’t be her.
M: I want that but I’m scared. My time is up. I have to go, but I’ll text again soon. I love you.
Maria loves me. And just like that, those three words alter the future I had been looking forward to with Peyton. I can’t even look up because I know she is going to hate me. I have to go with what’s in my heart.
T: I love you, too. I never stopped loving you.
I type the words and as I set the phone down, Peyton comes into focus immediately, not providing me a single moment to sort my thoughts. She brought the phone to me, knowing there was a chance it would mean losing me. And now she waits to see if that’s what’s going to happen. Regrettably, I think it is, but I’m confused.
“Thank you for bringing the phone to me.” She stares at me silently, waiting for me to elaborate on what the texts mean for our future. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Neither do I.” I catch her covering her mouth with her hand as she strolls away from me.
The door to the bedroom closes and I slam my hand onto the countertop. I love Maria beyond reason, but there’s a part of me already falling in love with Peyton. Maria’s love pulls just a little bit stronger and I hate myself for spending all this time with Peyton. It was wrong when I have unresolved feelings for Maria.
My cheeks hurt from smiling, but my joy diminishes as I focus on the reality of my situation. Tug believes he’ll win, but I’ve seen Eduardo come back from the dead on more than one occasion. He’s a weasel with the ability to maneuver any situation. Eduardo plays the game more ruthlessly that Tug.
I find Marco and carefully slide the phone into his pocket before I take Javier up to bed. My mind races with worried thoughts as I lay my head on the pillow.
There has to be a way to protect Tug
I’d give my life to protect him.
I laid awake most of the night watching Peyton sleep. Now I sit next to her at a loss for how to feel or what to say. How can I carry on with her when I know there may be a real chance to put my family back together? For the
first time, I understand how Tori felt. She once said that she was in love with both me and Brady and it was killing her.
I can’t say I’m in love with Peyton, and I hate knowing I’m going to hurt her. The thought of not having her in my life is what kills me. If there’s a choice to be made, I always choose wrong. My gut told me to steer clear of Peyton, but I chose my needs over hers. I craved how I felt around her, like I was whole again, so I took from her without considering the consequences. My poor choice is blowing up in my face and the only one who will get burned is Peyton.
“What’s on your mind, handsome?” Her sleepy gaze rakes over my face, sending shards of guilt slicing through my heart.
Time to man up and own my mistakes. “We need to talk.”
Her brow knits as she sits up hugging the sheet to her chest. It’s as though she forgot about last night for a brief moment and now reality is raining down on her. The ache in the pit of my stomach cripples me. Her eyes move back and forth over mine as I seek the courage I need to be honest.
“You want her back, and now she wants you, too.” Sarcasm attempts to mask the pain in her voice.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
She presses her warm hand to my cheek. “Then don’t.”
I take in a deep breath and allow the words to flow out when I exhale. “Maria loves me.”
“Okay.”
I try not to grin. Okay is her standard answer to pretend she’s not bothered with something, but this is serious.
“I don’t know how to say this without hurting you so I’m just going to say what I feel. I care about you, but I found out Maria left me to be with Eduardo because he threatened to kill me and her father if she didn’t. She loves me, and if . . . no, when my plan succeeds, I want her back.”
“Okay.”
“It’s not okay for me. I’m confused, and I think it will be easier on both of us if we don’t see each other anymore.”
“You mean easier for you. If you were so sure about your choice, you wouldn’t be confused.”
“Don’t you think I know that? I own my shit. I did this to myself. I have real feelings for you, but Maria and Javier were ripped out of my life and not a day goes by that I haven’t thought about them. I won’t allow them to be hostages to that animal because I met someone else. I can’t just fall out of love with her, or pretend I don’t know the sacrifices she’s made for me.”
“Okay.”
“Would you stop, please? I know it’s not okay. I’m a dick. Yell at me or something.” While I wait for her to respond, I can’t help but question if going back to Maria is a huge mistake. What if her text was just another way to play me? No, I have to believe she loves me. If I hold onto an ounce of doubt, I’ll miss the opportunity to get my family back. I care about Peyton, but ending this now is the right thing to do. “Truth?” Peyton nods. “I want you both.”
“What do you want me to say, Aidan? That I’m devastated? That I don’t understand how you can trust her? That I think you’re acting out of guilt and a misguided obligation to your son. Your fierce loyalty is your downfall. Do you want me to tell you I think you’re making a mistake? Because I do, but I can’t change how you feel.”
The more she talks the more furious I become. “The only mistake I made was taking a risk with you.”
Her eyes widen just before my cheek burns with the slap I earned. How could I say something so cruel?
“You bastard! Don’t be mean to me to ease your guilt.”
“Fuck, Peyton . . . that came out wrong.” I rub my cheek and look away. “I only meant that I always choose wrong.”
“And maybe you’re choosing wrong again.”
She slides out of bed, wrapping the sheet around her body and goes into the bathroom. My heart feels like it’s been ripped in two and I have no one to blame but myself. Maybe wanting to be with Maria is the wrong choice, but ironically, it was Peyton who taught me that some risks are worth taking. It doesn’t matter because I’m willing to lose everything I have to get my family back, including Peyton.
For six days, I’ve tried to ignore how much I miss Peyton. Days of reflection have forced me to be honest with myself. I love her. I don’t want to, but I do. However, I did the right thing letting her go. My heart belongs to someone else.
My focus has been on work and on finalizing the demise of Eduardo Montez. On getting my family back and healing until the three of us feel normal again. I’ve avoided my family, including Liv who texted a few minutes ago to see if I’d walk her down the aisle. How can she ask me to give her a way to a man I know will eventually hurt her?
I stare at the screen as I wrestle with answering. No matter what I decide, I’m wrong. Not agreeing makes be just as terrible a brother as pretending to be happy for her. Still unsure, I reply that I need to think about it.
When my phone vibrates, I expect to see Liv’s response telling me to fuck off and that she never wants to speak to me again, but it’s from Maria.
M: I’m sorry I haven’t responded to your texts, but Marco keeps the phone until it’s safe for me to use it.
Marco’s aware of our communications. I knew he’d never be loyal to Montez. We were almost friends before all of this went down.
T: It’s okay. I know you don’t have a lot of time, but you need to do something for me. Tell Marco to keep this phone nearby and if I text you the word sunset, I need you to take Javier and leave the mansion. Promise me you’ll do this for me.
M: What is your plan?
A small part of me feels the hustle. Maybe it’s there and maybe it isn’t. Only time will tell if I can truly trust her.
T: I can’t tell you yet. Just promise you’ll leave when I text you
M. I promise, and I should go. He’s expecting me. I love you.
T: I love you, too, sweet girl.
Sweet girl . . . two words that always make me feel safe. I beam with happiness as I head downstairs to join Eduardo for dinner.
The bruises on my face, although faded, still hurt, but they’ll heal. My heart is whole and strong and refuses to let Eduardo defeat me. I put on the face of his happy wife and stroll into the dining room where I take my place in the seat next to him. He hasn’t said a single word to me in six days, so when he says hello, I’m surprised.
“I trust you are through interfering in my business?”
“Yes.”
“You are my wife. Javier is my son. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
The chandelier above the table hums as he studies me. His eyes stop on each fading, yellow bruise and cut. I hope somewhere in the reaches of his conscience he feels the pain he inflicted.
“I’m happy to hear you understand. I’m sorry I had to take such measures to convince you. Look what you make me do. How crazy you make me. But, because I want to make you happy, I’ve decided not to go after Mr. Hunter.”
My mouth opens with the shock I feel. “You have?”
“Yes, so long as you remain a good wife, I will leave Mr. Hunter alone.”
“I’m completely devoted to you, Eduardo. Only you.”
The lie falls out of my mouth with ease as I know eventually I’ll find a way to flee my prison and take my son. And if I don’t, Tug will.
“Good, because I’m leaving tonight. I had something come up that requires my attention.”
“And you have to go now?” I say, feigning disappointment. Playing the good wife makes me nauseous. I don’t know how much longer I can ignore the disdain and pretend to have a shred of concern for this man.
“Unfortunately, I have to leave after dinner.”
I practically sit on my hands to avoid clapping in celebration.
“I’ll be lonely why you’re gone. Can’t I go with you?” I ask for good measure, already aware that if he could take me, I’d be going.
“Not this time. I wish you could.”
“Me, too,” I lie. In all honestly, I wish his plane would crash and I’d never have to lay eyes on him
again.
Throughout dinner, I think of how close I came to losing myself. Without realizing it, I’d given Eduardo a test of his devotion and if he’d not reacted how he did . . . if he’d agreed to my request to leave Tug alone before he put his hands on me, I would have fallen for him. He would have proved he loved me. I’d have been the wife he wants me to be. I should thank him one day as I nearly lost myself forever.
The moment his car leaves the mansion, I run to Marco’s room and knock on the door. He opens it, grumbling about how loud I am.
I shove past him into his room. “I need the phone.”
A long sigh leaves his mouth as he retrieves the cell phone from under his bed. “You text him in here.”
“Fine,” I answer, taking the phone.
What I really want is to hear Tug’s voice, but I can’t risk anyone hearing me.
M: Eduardo has left Monterrey for three days. Can you come?
His response is immediate.
T: Yes. I’ll be there in the morning. Where should I meet you?
M: The barn down the road from Café Infinito. Do you know it?
T: Yes. I’ll be there. 10 AM. I love you.
M: I love you, too.
Marco reads the text when I hand the phone back to him.
“Are in insane? He’ll find out.”
“No, he won’t. I’ll have my parents take Javier out to lunch or something with Leticia and Alejandro. If you take me, no one will know. Please, Marco. This is my chance. I have to see him.”
He mumbles about my stupidity but agrees to take me.
“You’re a good man.” I smile.
He doesn’t return my smile as he shoves me out of his room. “No, I’m nothing more than a thug, but I did love someone once and I’d give anything to have her back.”
I stand outside his door, realizing in all the time I’ve known him, that I know nothing about him. “What happened?”
“Go. Make your plans and be ready to go in the morning.”
I accept he isn’t willing to share his story and go to my room. Soon, I’ll be in the arms of the man I love and all will be right.
