by Montana Ash
She didn’t say anything as she forced her way past the press of bodies in the room. Her entire being was focused on the tiny, pale imitation of her liege on the bed. Cali felt her insides wobble unsteadily as she took in the emaciated and lifeless appearance of her good friend. But she wasn’t lifeless, she felt that without a shadow of a doubt.
“What happened?” She croaked out. But she didn’t really need to ask. She knew what this was, this kind of lack of life, of energy. It was textbook chade. How had a chade managed to infiltrate their protection and drain Max to the point of death? Because you were out getting your rocks off, was her scathing internal reply.
“A chade.” Ryker’s voice was so deep and dark that she could barely understand him.
Trying to swallow the bile in her throat she reached out and touched some bare skin on Max’s hand – one of the only places left because six other trembling hands were already taking up residence. The bond flared to life and their brands began to thrash as they all tried to pump vitality into their liege. Now that they were all bonded, Max didn’t necessarily have to consciously take from them in order to recharge. They could also initiate the exchange but only through Ryker as a potentate and their Captain. It wasn’t as effective and it was slower going but given Max was unconscious, it was all they had to work with.
Several minutes later Cali was beginning to feel suffocated by the link. The sheer intensity of the emotions roiling through everybody was overwhelming; guilt, hurt, remorse, terror, anger. Dear Goddess, the anger. Ryker was barely holding himself in check, wanting to blast every single one of them, the chade, hell – the whole damn world. Cali couldn’t blame him. Months. They had been bonded to Max for all of a few months and she had been mortally ill twice now.
“You need to dial it back. It’s too much Ryker.” The voice belonged to Axel and Cali saw him remove his hand from Max’s neck.
Ryker snarled, “Fuck you. Put your hand back!”
Axel clenched his jaw, looked longingly at Max but still took a step back. “She’s okay. She’s doing better. She’s going to be fine but she needs to be awake for more. We’re just wasting energy now and the Order bond is a mess of emotions.” Axel shook his head, “Not good, man. Let it go.”
Ryker’s eyes were so dark they were almost black as he stared mutinously at the fire paladin – who was a damn sight braver than Cali. No way would she be telling Ryker to do anything. In his current state he was liable to rip heads from bodies, quite literally. She heard Beyden sigh and saw him step back along with Lark and then Diana. Ryker, Darius and herself were the only three stubbornly trying to maintain the full Order link with less than half of them.
“Axel’s right. We’re wasting vitality that Max will need when she wakes up. And we’re all being arseholes – our emotions are a mess. Max is empathic remember? Our feelings are not helping.” Diana said.
“Shit!” Cali took her hand away as if scalded. Diana was right; Max was highly empathic. Emotions were a burden to her and she sure as shit didn’t need any extra burdens at the moment. “Darius … Ryker …” She murmured.
Darius clenched his jaw but also stepped back and although Ryker curled his upper lip at the room at large and didn’t remove his grip on Max’s hand, she did see that his coat of arms stopped moving and his druidic symbol for life stopped glowing.
“What happened?” She asked quietly.
“Max was out in the garden last night because she couldn’t sleep. A chade came and attacked her before any of us were even aware. Ryker managed to scare it off but couldn’t kill it.” Lark explained, looking as weary as everyone else.
“Fucking thing took my scythe.” Ryker grunted, eyes never leaving his lover.
Cali frowned at that, chades didn’t take anything but vitality. “It took your scythe?”
“I threw it and I thought maybe I hit it but it kept going. I can’t find one of my blades anywhere.” He finally sighed and she saw his shoulders relax minutely, “But I haven’t really had a proper look. I’ve been more worried about Max.”
Cali was a woman of action. She was fine as long as she had something to do and sitting here staring at Max wishing she would open her eyes wasn’t her idea of a good time. That thought made her feel even more guilty; she should be parking her butt and holding vigil. But this was something she could do and it might be helpful. Maybe there were some clues or something in the garden and Ryker loved his dual scythes almost as much as he loved that woman on the bed. “I’ll go see if I can find anything. Call me the second she wakes up.” She announced, already backing from the room.
She wasn’t fleeing, she assured herself. She was simply walking very fast.
SIX
Cali was alone with Max for the first time in four days. They were settled in Max and Ryker’s bed with a mound of pillows, a Vin Diesel movie in the background, and a very large tub of Neapolitan ice-cream. Max had been unconscious for the first two days and barely coherent the following day. She was by no means back to her old self – physically at least. Mentally she was firing on all cylinders and they were having a hard time keeping her busy brain occupied in her convalescence. They had been taking it in turns to keep her company as well as coaxing her to take vitality almost constantly. They usually did that in pairs or more and they all congregated in her room three times a day so she could draw on all seven of them at once. Max had given them a good scare and that chade was as good as dead as soon as they could go hunting.
“There’s something different about you.” Max stated abruptly, drawing Cali from her introspection. Glancing down she saw that her liege eyed her like a bug under a microscope. Her eyes weren’t doing that swirly thing they did when they peered right into your soul but Cali knew they were observant enough without that anyway.
What did she mean by different? Could she tell Cali was hiding something from her? She refused to let her mind wander to her underwear drawer, and the secret she was pretending didn’t exist, just in case Max picked up on it through the bond. She detested deception in any form and was a little sickened and ashamed that she was purposely keeping something from Max but a girl had to know when to pick her battles. And now just wasn’t the time.
“What do you mean different?”
“Underneath that thick layer of guilt from not being here when I got hurt there’s just something … something else going on. If I had my mojo back I’d have it figured out in no time.”
Cali winced at that because yeah, her guilt knew no bounds, and also because Max’s mojo as she put it had come dangerously close to being extinguished permanently. “About that. Max –”
Max raised a pale hand and pointed a thin forefinger in her direction with a decent amount of gusto, “Nope. Not going there. I refuse to let you wallow any longer. It’s been four days already. I am going to be just fine. None of you did anything wrong. Even poor Dex didn’t really do anything wrong for I’m positive he couldn’t help himself. You are entitled to your own time, your own space, and your own freedom. This changes nothing. Lark and Beyden will be going off on rotation as scheduled at the end of the month. I will continue to roam outside when I want as much as I want. Shit happens, Cali. Bad shit happens to good people every day and that’s just the way it is. There is no blame here, no fault, and no recriminations. You all need to get over it because it’s really starting to piss me off!”
Max’s tirade ended in a wheezy cough and one slumped little liege against the pillows. But her eyes continued to flash with their usual fiery spark of defiance and Cali found herself smiling for the first time in days. Although the situation wasn’t quite as black and white as Max seemed to think, she sure did have a way of cutting through the bullshit and hitting the bullseye of any given issue. “I figure I still have a few days of wallowing left in me before I move on. But …” she paused as she lifted a spoon of ice cream to her lips, “this sure helps.”
Max laughed at that. “I hear ya. So … not going to comment about me mentioning Dex?” She ad
ded on slyly.
Cali carefully blanked her expression. They had all been very cautious not to respond to any of Max’s words of defence over that frigging chade. They didn’t want to upset her further when her condition was so critical. Cali knew Ryker in particular was having a hard time over Max’s continued support of the creature’s innocence. She figured in a few more days the broken record that was Max would begin to receive a few more words other than ‘hmm’ and ‘uh huh’ on the subject.
“Ah, still no response. I must still look pretty miserable if none of you are willing to fight me on the whole Dex issue yet.”
You look worse than miserable, Cali thought silently but wisely kept her mouth shut. “Don’t worry. In a few more days I’m sure you’ll be overwhelmed with arguments over that motherforsaken chade.” Cali assured her.
Max smiled. “Good. I don’t like being treated like spun glass. And he’s not forsaken by the Great Mother. As I understand it, she’s very benevolent. He’s forsaken by his fellow people, which is a far greater sin in my opinion.”
Cali couldn’t argue with her there. Chades were forsaken, reviled and judged by all. It was a shame really. Although Cali didn’t feel the same hate as Ryker and Darius or even the same pity as Diana did, she did feel sorry for their families and the ones they left behind. Personally, she was a little more neutral on the subject; chades were a part of everyday life and her job was to ensure they got nowhere near the wardens. She accepted it just as the vast majority of society did. But she was beginning to feel ashamed for her potential ignorance where they were concerned. “You’re right.” She said to Max.
“I am?” She seemed surprised.
Cali nodded, reaching over to untangle a messy piece of Max’s hair. “You are. Turning your back on someone in need is a total dick move.”
Max giggled at that. “You know, I knew you and I were going to be friends the moment I saw you.”
Cali smiled. “Really? Friendship at first sight huh?”
“Definitely. My hate for your long legs and jealousy of your perky boobs was instant as well, don’t get me wrong. But there was also a sense of … recognition you could say. It’s the same with the others. It’s why I got into a car with three strangers and allowed them to drive me into the Australian bush.”
Cali actually felt the same way. There had been an instant sense of familiarity with the shorter woman. At first she had put it down to the natural bond that can be common between wardens and paladins but over the past few months she had begun to suspect it was something more. Something deeper. She knew the others thought so too. But talk of fate and revolutions made Max a little twitchy so she didn’t dwell on it for the time being. “And what about Ryker? Was he love at first sight?” She teased instead.
Her delicate liege snorted like a trucker. “Hell no! Lust at first sight for sure. I was a goner the second I saw those bars in his nipples. But love? No. The love came when the trust came. It came when he laid himself bare before me and allowed me to do the same to him. It came when he saw me, really saw me, and made the choice to love me despite what he saw. I’m so very grateful, Cali.”
Max’s eyes and voice were earnest and so sincere she could almost feel the words against her skin. Max wasn’t a romantic soul, Cali knew, she was too realistic for that kind of whimsy. But she was honest and probably the most self-aware person she had ever met. The way she had just described falling in love with Ryker sounded pretty damn perfect to Cali. She wasn’t convinced with the whole love at first sight thing either. “You think love is a choice?” She was curious.
Max nodded. “I do. I think love takes work and dedication just like any other thing that’s worth having in this world.”
“I’m not sure Diana and Darius would agree with that. Darius swears it was love at first sight for him – so does Ryker where you’re concerned.”
“And yet Diana and Darius both made a choice to ignore that initial spark – that initial potential – for over eight hundred years.” Max pointed out. “And Ryker? Well, he was seriously displeased with that potential and fought fruitlessly for a while before caving. That initial spark? It’s easy to give in to the lust but it needs to be tended, to be cultivated if you don’t want it to burn out.”
Cali mulled that over and decided she liked that theory. Her serious relationships were practically non-existent but they didn’t have to be. There had been a guy or two that she could have seen herself with long term. But instead of seeing them through and putting in any real effort, they had fallen by the wayside. It’s not like she had the luxury of being allowed to form real relationships in the past anyway, but still ... As nice as Max’s thoughts on love and relationships were Cali didn’t really believe she was built for a serious partnership anyway. She had a problem with commitment and with intimacy, thus her preference for one night stands. It was all Stefan’s fault – her previous liege – along with the medieval mentality of most of her old Order. Curious, Cali said to Max;
“You haven’t asked me about my old Order.”
Max replied with a simple; “Nope.”
“Why not?”
Max shrugged shoulders that still looked terribly frail. “Why haven’t you asked me about my time on the streets or my time working the streets?” She queried.
Now it was her turn to shrug, “It’s not really any of my business. I’m more than happy to listen – that’s what friends are for – but I figure you’ll tell me if and when you want to.”
Max smiled at her and Cali was pleased to see the usual spark of liveliness in her turquoise depths. “You just answered your own question.”
“My old liege was a misogynistic bastard who believed women were only good for one thing; sex.” Cali blurted out before face-palming herself with a sharp slap.
Where the heck had that come from? Did she really want to talk about this with Max? Diana was one of the only people who knew the full depth of what had transpired in her old Order. Oh, she was well aware most of the wardens and paladins around the world had an inkling of what went on – Stefan was never shy about his beliefs. She was also aware that she was still whispered about in certain pockets of the community for being not only a ‘paladin whore’ but also a whore who couldn’t perform her duties and had been dishonourably discharged from her Order. Stefan, the snivelling little prick, had spread around that she was terrible in the sack and couldn’t fight her way out of a wet paper bag. Thus, relegating her to uselessness in their society – until Ryker had come along of course. She had more than proven her worth as a soldier over the years at the training centre and she had been careful to never sleep with anyone in town. Even though it was perfectly acceptable for male wardens and even male paladins to be free with their affections. Hypocritical much?
“That was over fifteen years ago now, right?” Max’s question was spoken easily and casually as she dug around the nearly empty ice cream container.
Cali took a deep breath and decided Max needed to know who exactly she had allowed into her Order. And who knows? It might even help with her feelings of guilt over her most recent one-night stand, because the Mother knew she already had enough guilt issues when it came to sex. She really didn’t want to add to them. “Yes. I found myself evicted from my old Order just over fifteen years ago. I’ve been living here since then and helping train the new recruits.”
“Must have been a bit of an adjustment after living in Sweden for so long.” Max observed.
Cali laughed at that. “The weather sure is different.” And she could admit that she sometimes missed the pristine whiteness and the silent beauty of the softly falling snow. Maybe they would travel more now given their Order had been officially recognised by the IDC. She was sure they had many a task they hoped Max would be able to assist with around the world. Forging on, she continued;
“I was born in Sweden almost one hundred and fifty years ago to a paladin mother and a paladin father, who I have never met. Apparently he was no-one particularly special and my m
other didn’t want him around. She didn’t particularly want me around either – we were never close – and I have no siblings. So after passing basic training I was more than happy to set out on my own. I didn’t join an Order for some years because no warden requested me. Male paladins were in much higher demand those days. But when I was just going on sixty a handsome, sophisticated Water Warden from an aristocrat family started paying attention to me. I was flattered and honoured of course and when he put in a formal request to the IDC for me to join his Order, I was ecstatic.”
“You wanted to serve your purpose.” Max stated quietly.
Cali nodded. “I did. I was a knight, a soldier. I know there are some paladins who begrudge their birthright and would happily choose not to fight or protect.” Like their very own Beyden and Lark, she added silently and with no recriminations whatsoever. “But I wasn’t one of them. I’d heard, read and seen wars waged and I desperately wanted in. Too bad I hadn’t seen or heard about the reputation of the Order of Neptune.”
Max rolled her eyes and snorted, “The Order of Neptune? Water Order, right?”
Despite the sick feeling in her stomach, Cali found herself smiling anyway. She knew Max hated their nomenclature system. She thought it was trite and clichéd. “Yep, water. I assumed it was one of the reasons why he chose me given I’m a water paladin. But no – it was the blonde hair, the blue eyes, the legs, and the tits.” She stated cupping said tits and giving them a depreciative shake before pressing on. “Whilst I was with him, my liege had two male paladins whose express role was to see to his physical safety at all times. He also had three female paladins whose only responsibility was to ensure he received vitality on a daily basis. I was female number four. The only way he would allow an energy exchange was through sex.”
