Reality set in and she held Beck tighter. She didn’t want them to see her like this. She didn’t want her pain and nightmare on display, so she hid in Beck’s embrace and held on hoping he got her safely inside the hospital fast.
“Back up,” Beck ordered, getting everyone to leave a not-so-easy one-foot circle around them. It didn’t stop them from shouting her name and ordering her to raise her head and turn their way so they could get the best picture. She didn’t comply, just held tighter to Beck as he jostled her through the crowd and into the emergency room where security guards let them in and held back everyone else.
Beck set her on her feet, but held on to her like she couldn’t stand on her own. He turned just enough to let the photographers get a few shots of her, too thin and frail to hold herself up. The leggings showed her stick-thin legs. The short-sleeved top she’d changed into revealed her bony arms and skeletal hands. She kept her head down as a nurse and doctor took her arms and helped her sit in the waiting wheelchair. She leaned to the side, curled up on herself, and held her head in her hand, letting her hair spill over her face just enough to hide her eyes, but not her too-pale skin and sunken cheeks. She had been sleeping better, but the nightmares still woke her every few hours. She hoped that improved as her body healed, time passed, and she found some peace.
She wouldn’t get any today.
Beck stood beside her and took her hand.
“Let’s get her into an exam room,” the doctor ordered. “Tell X-ray she’s here and we’ll be up soon.” The doctor bent down to her. “Don’t worry, Miss Swan, we’ll take good care of you. I’m Dr. Bell Bowden. Beck’s friend Sadie asked me to be here for you. I’ll try to get you through this as painlessly and quickly as possible. I won’t leave your side.”
Ashley looked up and into the doctor’s soft gaze. “No matter what, Beck comes with me.”
“Unless you say otherwise, he can stay with you.”
Beck squeezed Ashley’s hand, but addressed Dr. Bowden. “Thank you for doing this. She’s been through so much.”
“We’ll get her through this. Let’s get her out of the lobby, settled in an exam room, and we’ll go from there. Slow and easy. We’ll start with some blood work, then do the exam, and head to X-ray after that.”
The nurse pushed her down the hall. The shouted questions from the reporters faded behind her, easing her mind on one front, but her anxiety amped up when they entered the private room and the nurse pointed to the gown on the exam table.
Dr. Bowden stood in the doorway after the nurse left. “I’ll be back in a minute. Put the gown on, opening in the front, then we’ll get started.”
Alone with Beck, she looked up at his grim face. “Getting through the reporters was easier than this.”
“Sadie assured me Dr. Bowden is the best. She’s had a difficult life, so understands your need for her to be kind and gentle, and she’s aware of how hard it is for you to face what happened to you.”
“Sadie?” she asked, trying not to show the jealousy eating away at her. They hadn’t really talked about their personal lives. She didn’t much have one because of her circumstances, but she guessed the gorgeous, smart, kind man had to have a woman, or women, in his life.
“She saved my life a while back when I busted her brother for cooking meth and took down a drug ring he was working for. She’s married,” he added, giving her a knowing grin that said he’d guessed her little green monster had poked his head out to embarrass her. “I thought a woman doctor would suit you in these circumstances and asked Sadie if she had a recommendation. Her husband’s family is close to Dr. Bowden’s husband, Dane.”
“It’s really true—everyone knows everyone in a small town.”
“Everyone in the world knows you,” he pointed out.
“Does it bother you that I’m famous?”
“It bothers me that I can’t bring you to the hospital for the care you need and not have at least four people on the staff sneak a photograph of you as we walk down the hallway.”
“That’s why you wanted a doctor you could trust to take care of me.”
“If anyone comes into this room and thinks they can invade your privacy, they’ll find themselves fired or locked up at best.”
The unsaid death threat and his clenched fists brought on a smile even though she didn’t feel much like smiling at all.
“Stop stalling, Ashley. The doctor will be back any second. Let’s get this done so I can take you home.”
She pressed her lips together, then admitted, “That sounds really good.”
He held his hand out to her. She took it and he helped her up from the wheelchair. “Then let’s do that.”
“You know what would be even better.”
He stared down into her upturned face. “What?” His indulgent tone said he’d do anything to make this better for her.
“If you bought me a burger and fries and a chocolate shake on the way back.”
He finally smiled. This wasn’t easy for him either. “Deal. Now strip and put that gown on.” His teasing tone relaxed her a tiny bit. She didn’t have to ask him to turn his back. He gave her the privacy she needed despite the fact he’d already seen her naked and covered in bruises. “You’re still stalling.”
Instead of taking off her clothes, she wrapped her hands around his middle, clasped them at his taut stomach, laid her head on the back of his shoulders, and held him tight.
His warm hands settled over hers. “You can do this, sweetheart.”
She slid her hands around his sides and up his strong back and pushed away from him. She took a deep breath, squeezed his shoulders in a kind of thank-you for giving her the nudge she needed, and replaced her comfortable clothes with the hospital gown that made her feel as exposed as if she had nothing on. She didn’t underneath the thin fabric. She slowly stepped up on the platform in front of the table and sat down, pulling the gown over her bruised thighs and holding it closed at her chest and lap.
Beck turned back when she got settled on the crinkly paper covering. “Okay.”
“I’m scared.” She didn’t know why, but her whole body trembled and all she wanted to do was run.
Beck stood in front of her and wrapped her in his arms, protecting her and blocking her from the door as Dr. Bowden knocked.
“Come in,” Beck called over his shoulder, but never let her go.
The door swung open. “Do you need a few more minutes?” the doctor asked.
Beck leaned back, cupped her face and tilted it up so Ashley looked at him. “She’s ready.” The words answered the doctor and were meant to encourage her.
Ashley gave him a nod that she was indeed as ready as she’d ever be under the circumstances.
With the door closed, Beck stepped to her side. Ashley faced the doctor, nurse, and the next two hours of poking and prodding of her body and memory of what happened.
“We’ll start with the noninvasive stuff. The nurse will draw some blood. Then, I’ll take down the details of what happened to you and your injuries. We’ll do a physical exam, including a gynecological one. Beck can wait outside during that if you’d like.”
“He stays,” Ashley ordered, holding Beck’s hand in both of hers.
“Okay. Then we’ll go up for X-rays and possibly an MRI depending on your injuries.”
Ashley nodded, extending her arm to the nurse, who quietly and efficiently tied a band around her bicep, stuck a needle in her arm, and drew at least ten vials of blood.
Dr. Bowden waited for the nurse to leave them alone before she asked her questions. “I understand Beck’s already photographed your injuries, so we can skip that part here. Let’s start with your most recent injuries. Where do you hurt right now?”
“Everywhere.” Ashley admitted to the throbbing pain that ebbed and flowed the more she used her muscles and exacerbated her actual injuries. “My ribs and back the most.”
“What about this wrapped ankle?” Dr. Bowden pointed to her foot.
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p; “It’s just a slight sprain. It barely hurts anymore. It’s a bit swollen, but I can walk on it.”
“Let’s have a look.” Dr. Bowden unwrapped the bandage.
Ashley let out her breath. Starting with her barely hurt foot helped ease her into the exam and allowed her to relax before she had to show the really bad stuff.
“This doesn’t look bad at all.” Dr. Bowden flexed Ashley’s ankle. “Does it hurt when I do this?”
“A little. Not bad. It’s the side to side that hurts the worst. I got it caught on a root and twisted it when I fell.”
“In four-inch heels,” Beck added, his frown showing his disgust at what Brice forced her to endure to save her life.
Dr. Bowden glanced up at him, one eyebrow cocked. “You ran across miles of open land in heels?”
“Yes.”
“Carrying a four-year-old,” Beck added.
Ashley bit her lip, her mind taking her back to those dire hours, hearing Brice’s voice shouting at her in the night, the fear rising up and choking off her breath and making her heart gallop faster than her feet could carry her away.
“Breathe,” Beck ordered, brushing his hand over her hair.
She came back to the present, sucked in a breath, and looked up at Beck to center herself again.
“Keep the foot wrapped a few more days. Ice it, prop it up when possible, and stay off it as much as you can. That should give it time to heal without reinjuring it.” Dr. Bowen rewrapped her foot, then stared up at her. “We’ll weigh you before we go up for X-rays, but I’d guess you’re about twenty pounds underweight. Before you go, I’d like to do an IV with some vitamins and minerals. How is your appetite?”
“Coming back slowly. It’s hard to eat.”
“She does best with small meals. Her cravings are coming back. She asked me for a burger on the way home.”
“Good. Increase your calories a little at a time. Don’t go more than two hours without something to eat until you’re able to eat more at each sitting. Though I recommend the burger, try to get as many varied and healthy foods as you can. I’ll narrow down what you’re lacking once your blood results come back, but my guess is that you’re anemic and missing vital nutrients across the board. Red meat, dark green leafy vegetables like spinach and kale, and broccoli will help. High-protein meals to build back muscle. Complex carbs to help with energy.”
“At first, she could barely stay awake. Now she fatigues easily, but it’s much better.” Beck touched Ashley’s back to comfort her.
Ashley enjoyed the contact, but flinched when he hit a sore spot.
“Sorry, sweetheart.”
“It’s okay.”
“Let’s have a look,” Dr. Bowden took the opportunity to move on from the easy stuff to the hard and stepped to her side and waited for Ashley to drop the gown down her back, holding it over her chest.
“Okay.” Dr. Bowden’s voice held a note of alarm. “Have you been taking anything for the pain?”
“Beck gave me a Vicodin the first night, but since then nothing but ibuprofen.”
“Are you against taking something stronger?”
“I need a clear head to get through this.”
“I’ll prescribe something that will help with the swelling and pain but no narcotics.” Dr. Bowden did a visual exam of her back. “I know you’ve been through a lot, Ashley. I don’t want to add to it, but I’ll need to touch you to complete the exam. Is it okay if I touch you?”
Ashley appreciated the doctor giving her a choice when she’d had none living with Brice. “Go ahead.”
“I’ll be as gentle as I can. If you are uncomfortable, it hurts, or you just need a minute, let me know and we’ll stop until you’re ready to start again.”
Ashley endured Dr. Bowden’s gentle pushes and prods down her back, flinching when it hurt, and trying to point out areas that hurt now and had been injured in the past. Dr. Bowden took note of everything in the chart, circling areas on a human diagram on the paper in different colors to show her injuries now and from the past.
Beck helped her lie back on the table so Dr. Bowden could examine her torso and especially her aching ribs. Beck did what he always did and kept his gaze averted from her naked body. He never stopped holding her hand, even when she yelped in pain when Dr. Bowden pressed on the very worst bruises and swelling along her side. Even Beck flinched.
“I’m sorry, Ashley. Did he hit you with an object or his fists?”
“His fists on my back and ribs. Riding crop on my legs. He likes the different sounds they make. He likes to put his hands on me. He wants me to scream. But I can’t scream too soon, or it ruins his fun. If I do, he’ll punish me more. I have to hold it in and go to another place in my mind. I have to go to the river, where I can’t hear his taunts and how much he loves me. All I want to do is hear the river, see the pretty trees, feel the sunlight warm on my face.” She left off the part about the dark-haired man who always seemed out of reach. The man she’d hoped would save her.
Beck swore and squeezed her hand, bringing it to his lips.
She opened her eyes, and there he was, leaning over her, his gray-blue eyes filled with rage and sorrow and something she hoped was real and not just her imagination.
Dr. Bowden gave them a minute.
Ashley stared into Beck’s eyes, seeing so much without him having to say a word. She hoped he saw the same thing in her eyes for him.
Sometimes you just didn’t have the words to tell someone how much it meant for them to stand beside you and comfort you through one of the worst moments in your life.
Beck closed the front of her gown. Not because of the terrible injuries, or to keep her from being embarrassed about him seeing her, but to offer her some protection from being exposed like this. She felt open and raw and violated all over again even though this was necessary and required to help her. He got that.
“Finish up, Doc.”
“I’ll need you to move down the table.” Dr. Bowden put the stirrups up.
Ashley’s whole body shook uncontrollably. Beck remained leaning half over her, his gaze steady on hers.
Ashley got into position, though it took all her courage and strength to put her feet up.
“I’m sure you’ve done this before, but I’ll talk you through each step so nothing is a surprise and you expect each touch.” Dr. Bowden did just that, completing the exam as quickly as possible and making her notes for the official record.
“Everything looks fine, Ashley, including the strings from your IUD.” Dr. Bowden pulled off her gloves with that rubbery snap echoing through the room. “Go ahead and scoot back.”
Ashley did so, rolling to her side, facing Beck, and tucking her legs up to her belly. She stared at Beck’s shirt, tears sliding down her cheeks. She didn’t know why she cried anymore.
“Can you tell me approximately how many times or at least how often he raped you?” Dr. Bowden’s whispered words didn’t lessen the impact of what they meant.
“Does it count if he never actually achieved that particular brutality? Do all the times he put his hands on me, rubbed his body against mine, forced himself between my legs but never got it up, make any difference if he didn’t actually do the act?”
Beck leaned down, his hand braced at her back, the other holding her hand at her chest. “Yes. Every ugly thing he did to you counts. He will pay for all of it.”
Ashley recited the terrible things Brice did to her in a remote voice that didn’t sound like her at all. Dr. Bowden wrote them down to add to the assault charges against Brice.
Beck stood beside her, a vibrating ball of barely contained rage.
She went numb.
“Let’s head up to X-ray, then we’ll do the IV. While that’s being done, Ashley, for the official record and your well-being, I’d like to have a psychiatrist talk to you. It’s not that I don’t think you’re coping well, but I think you’ll want an evaluation for your case and a chance to talk about what happened.”
; “I have Beck.” Though maybe it wasn’t fair to dump her shit on him when he had so much of his own to deal with.
“Is there a female doctor available?” Beck asked, knowing she didn’t want to talk to a man who might inadvertently feel like a threat to her. A woman might relate more to her than a man in these circumstances.
“I’ve made that request. If there’s not, we can find someone and do it later, but I’d like her evaluated soon so it’s on record.”
Beck helped Ashley sit up and slide off the table. He held her arm to steady her as she sat in the wheelchair. Her ribs and back ached more after the exam.
“Do you have a blanket or sheet?” Beck asked Dr. Bowden.
“Behind you in the cupboard.”
Beck pulled out a sheet and draped it over her. She clutched it to her chest and settled back into the chair, exhausted already.
Dr. Bowden touched her shoulder gently. “We’re almost done.”
Ashley wondered if this whole ordeal would ever be over.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Brice sat next to his high-priced lawyer, bored out of his mind and pissed off that the sheriff left without doing what Brice wanted. These people didn’t know anything. They didn’t get it. He resented them keeping him waiting in this small room that reeked of burnt coffee and other people’s desperation. The officers outside the inner wall of glass stared at him. Some with nervous smiles, overcome with their excitement at seeing a celebrity. He felt like an animal caged behind glass. His sense of freedom faded with every second that ticked by and they built their case against him for something they didn’t understand.
Ashley wanted to be with him. She wanted to be transformed.
“Brice, we need to come up with a better plan than accusing Ashley of kidnapping a child who doesn’t actually belong to you. The cops are going to ask about his mother, his father, other family members. Do you even know?”
Montana Heat: Escape to You Page 18
