Family Pride

by Family Pride (retail) (epub)

  They crept up the stairs and looked in through the door of the twin-bedded room where Viv and Vic had always slept. Viv was asleep in one and the other had the covers folded back as if the second occupant was about to walk in and get into its snowy crispness.

  “Poor Viv,” Sam whispered. “He doesn’t feel complete without Vic. I can’t imagine what the separation has done to them both.” They went back down the cold stairs.

  “Now then, tell me about Paul. Coming home at last, eh? Having another party then are we?” asked Sam.

  Gilly told him what she knew and made him laugh at the plans Shirley was making, then she asked, “Did you have any luck?”

  Sam shook his head.

  “You won’t give up though, she’s bound to be there, perhaps just around the next corner.”

  “I’ve looked just about everywhere I can think of. Every place that could give me a start of a trail. Now someone says they moved to Wandsworth. I’ll go there next Sunday and start knocking on doors again.”

  “Uncle Sam, why don’t you start again at the beginning? You could easily have missed something. I often notice if I’m searching for something, that I often go all round the house then I go back to where I thought it should be in the first place and there it is, I just hadn’t looked properly.”

  “That’s a good idea, Gilly. I’ll go over in my mind where I went on those first Sundays and perhaps I’ll think of something I missed. Now, bed for us both or Viv will be the only one to rise in the morning! There’s glad I am that Viv is home. Told you he’d be all right, didn’t I? We’ll have news soon of Vic for sure.”

  Viv settled into the bake-house work as if he hadn’t been away. Sam tried to tell him of all that had happened, but apart from anger at the news of Fanny’s murder and Gerry’s treachery, he seemed only half aware of what Sam was telling him. He waited for the postman every morning like a love-sick adolescent and that was the only time he showed any animation: short lived as it was, his face would light up with hope when the letters were placed on the counter and he would run through them, his face returning to its usual solemnity when he saw there was no word from his twin.

  His work was thorough and he did what was asked of him without complaint, in fact pleading for more and more work to be placed on his thin shoulders. Sam tried to persuade him to talk about his experiences but without success. Viv asked about Gilly’s enterprises and was pleased with her growing business. About the prospects for the family bakery he showed scant interest.

  * * *

  It was Saturday that Paul was expected home and on that day Gilly found herself extra work to do. She rose at five-thirty and spent two hours in the bake-house helping Sam, Viv and Dai Smoky, then went to open the café in the shop. Saturday was a busy day in both cafés but she had given the girl who helped her the day off to do some shopping.

  It was a deliberate action, making sure she wasn’t free to go down to see Paul the moment he arrived. Perhaps he had only written to her out of loneliness? A girlfriend to talk about must have been important so far from home. Even one he didn’t really love. Excitement at his return slipped lower and lower.

  Slowly, through the days and nights between being told of his return and the actual hour of his arrival, she whittled away at her own self-confidence until, on the Friday, she considered herself unattractive, dull and someone for whom a man like Paul could only feel pity.

  When the cafés were closed and the books made up to date, there was no further excuse to delay. She knew she ought to go to the house near the docks and see Paul. Shirley was expecting her. Paul was expecting her. But she couldn’t. It was raining and she put on wellingtons and a Mac and walked along streets that were gleaming in the lamplight, along pavements running with small rivers from down-pipes to the gutters. Straight through the town she walked, seeing no one. She didn’t stop, but allowed her feet to take her down to the silent beach. The rain pattered relentlessly around her and she tried to ignore the runnels of water that ran down her neck, and the dampness that slowly crept around her back and shoulders and chilled her.

  The sea looked like black oil with only a thin edging of lace visible in the darkness. The shops were all closed and silent, last summer’s hordes forgotten and the prospect of those to come not even thought of at this quiet, abandoned, joyless time of the year.

  She realised she was cold and wished she had thought to put a few coins in her pocket so she could have a bus ride home. There was the supper to get and although it was late and she felt as unsavoury and drenched as a rat swimming in a drain, she had to face Paul.

  Her legs were chafed with the wetness of her woollen skirt, her hair stuck to her cold cheeks like it was made of jelly and she was stiff with the cold. A wind came up which blew away the rain, it sliced through her clothes and reminded her of the soaking they had suffered. On reaching home she turned away from the bakery shop door where a light showed invitingly from the room beyond, and went to Paul’s home. Best get it over with and seeing her like this would make it easier for Paul to tell her goodbye.

  There was no light showing when she reached the Greens’ front door and her knock went un-answered. Not certain whether she felt relief or disappointment, she turned away. At the gate she bumped into a tall man carrying a newspaper parcel. The smell was unmistakable, fish and chips. The man was unmistakable, too.

  “Gilly!” Paul said as, throwing the paper parcel onto the ground, he took her into his arms and kissed her until she was breathless.

  Paul seemed unaware of the straggling wet hair and the state of Gilly’s clothes. He held her close to him and murmured, “At last, at last. Oh, my lovely Gilly, you can’t imagine how I’ve longed for this. Oh, how I love you.”

  She said nothing, just breathed in the familiar smell of him, the familiar arms holding her tight, aware only of her own heart beating and of his embrace. When they kissed it was as if the years had rolled back and they were two seventeen-year-olds again, in love and realising it for the first time.

  He was taller, she realised as he released her and she looked up into his eyes there was a new maturity. He seemed older and worldly and for a moment she was afraid he was not the Paul she knew. He smiled then and he was there, her Paul, and he was holding her and telling her he loved her and it was all going to be all right.

  He led her inside after picking up the abandoned fish and chips and jokingly offered her a share.

  “Mam and Dad are at the hall, getting my surprise ready for tomorrow night. You’d think it was a royal wedding, all the effort they’re putting into it,” he said as he took her Mac and the sodden scarf she had put over her head. “I’d rather spend the evening with you so we could have our own special celebration, but they need it for themselves I suppose, and we can—”

  He then became aware that she was more than slightly wet. “Gilly, my lovely, what have you been doing? Swimming in the tide?”

  “I felt shy at seeing you again,” she admitted as he ran for a towel. “I walked away from your house and wandered for ages before I had the nerve to knock on your door.”

  “Silly girl,” he whispered as he began to dry her hair. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “You could kiss me again,” she suggested, her voice muffled by the towel.

  Shirley and Derek came in then, demanding to know where their supper was and, seeing Gilly rosy-faced and with a towel around her head, seemed half afraid to ask for an explanation.

  “Had a bath have you?” Derek grinned finally.

  “No I haven’t. I’ve been walking in the rain, that’s all.”

  “Best you come with me and we’ll find you something dry to put on,” Shirley laughed. “Can’t have you missing Paul’s party because of a cold!”

  True to form, Shirley found her not some discarded clothes that “would do” until she reached home, but some pretty underwear and some silk stockings. The dress she lent her was as glamorous as the undies, a sheath style with a drape of material across the hi
ps that showed her shapely figure off to perfection. The outfit was completed with shoes and a swagger coat with a hood.

  “Remember that awful school coat, Gilly love?” Shirley laughed. Well I think you’d even make that look good now, with your figure.”

  “And that awful hat?” Gilly laughed. “Did you know that it made a court appearance on the head of old Megan Moxon?”

  “You’ve come a long way since then,” Shirley smiled. “And what d’you think about Paul? Doesn’t he look well? Grown, too, and twice as handsome.”

  “I was afraid of seeing him, in case – I don’t really know why. Silly, isn’t it?”

  “He was longing to come to the shop to see you but I persuaded him to wait. I guessed you’d want to come in your own time. It must be strange seeing him after such a long absence. It’s all right though, is it love? You seemed, well, pleased with each other when we arrived. I’ve never seen your eyes so shining!” They chattered on like the friends they were, with no sign of a generation difference.

  Gilly and Paul weren’t on their own again until much later, when Paul walked her home. They walked through the sparkling streets slowly, from one circle of lamp-light to the next, arms around each other, talking very little. In the porch of the shop he held her close and she was aware of his desire.

  She wondered with a surge of fear if he was sexually experienced now he had been away from her for so long. He was almost twenty-three and many men were married by that age. She felt a moment of jealousy and regret that he may have learnt something without her sharing it. Then she put the worry aside. He wouldn’t, not Paul.

  “I won’t come in,” he said. “The place is in darkess and – I wouldn’t trust myself alone with you. Gilly, I’ve missed you. I love you. Seeing you again made me realise just how much I want and need you. I haven’t made any plans for the future but I know whatever I do I want you with me, my partner in everything, including love.” He kissed her slowly and with increasing passion and then whispered, “I wish tomorrow’s party was our wedding party. Don’t you?”

  “Oh, Paul, yes, I do.”

  “Then let’s make it soon? We’ll tell Mam tomorrow and then she can have fun getting it arranged with you. Like sisters you are.”

  “She and I are good friends,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t say something similar about his father. Even in this wonderful moment she would have found it hard to lie about how she felt about Derek Green.

  He kissed her again, pressing himself against her, making her body do strange and wonderful things. Then he eased himself away.

  “Goodnight, my lovely Gilly. Dream of me.”

  In her bedroom she removed Shirley’s clothes from her now warm and glowing body and placed her own wet garments in the basket of laundry, moving as if in a dream. She slid into bed and imagined being married to Paul.

  Shirley would be a perfect mother-in-law but the face of Derek loomed up in her mind and spoilt the picture of married bliss. She knew both Uncle Sam and Uncle Viv were relentlessly searching for evidence of Derek’s guilt, examining Granfer’s books and papers for evidence. Please, she whispered in prayer, please don’t let them find anything bad about Uncle Derek until Paul and I are wed.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The party began at eight and Paul planned his and Gilly’s entrance for when everyone else had arrived and were waiting. He called for Gilly in a taxi, wearing a dark suit and a white shirt with a neat bow tie. His hair was brushed back slickly with scented oil. The jacket of his suit was a little tight across his shoulders and the sleeves just a trifle short. There hadn’t been time for even Shirley’s contacts to obtain a new, well-fitting suit in time. But he looked more handsome than ever in the formal clothes and when she took his arm she felt as if her feet weren’t touching the ground.

  She wore her hair swept up at the back and Auntie Bessie had lent her some cameo earrings and a necklace consisting of a matching cameo set on a yellow velvet ribbon. In her butter-cup yellow dress she smiled as she compared her appearance to that of the previous evening.

  The ride was brief and before she had settled in Paul’s arms the car pulled up and they were being helped out. Someone waved before running in to tell the others Paul had arrived. Gilly felt excitement rise. Paul nervously straightened his tie and they smiled at each other. This moment, she decided, is pure bliss.

  They walked in to the gaily decorated room to wild cheers of welcoming friends. People swooped towards them but Paul swept Gilly at once onto the dance-floor. After that first dance to the strains of “You’ll never know just how much I love you,” people crowded around them and there was no chance for them to talk. But what had been said the night before remained with them, adding a sparkle to their every touch and the night was magical.

  Gilly stood close to him, their hands entwined, and the evening was filled more with talk and laughter than with dancing. Friends pushed through the throng to greet him and news of all that had happened in his absence was shared. Paul brought her into every snippet of conversation, flattering her with his attentions, making sure she didn’t feel neglected for a single moment and making it clear to everyone there that they were to be considered a couple. Gilly felt so happy she thought her heart would explode with the joy of it.

  The evening was perfect until eleven-thirty when people were beginning to leave. Uncle Sam had declined to come, confessing that he didn’t like dancing and, in any case, he had to go to London to search for Lillian. Uncle Viv was another who had refused Shirley’s invitation, but now, at this late hour, he walked in still wearing his bakery overalls and cap, and made for the table where Derek sat with Shirley.

  Viv’s punch to Derek’s face sent the man flying, his chair was thrown back to slide across the floor making startled guests run to avoid being knocked down like skittles.

  “Uncle Viv?” Gilly said in a frightened voice. For a moment no one else spoke. Everyone stood around staring at Derek who was getting up and trying to stem the blood pouring from his nose.

  “What was that for then, Viv?” Derek asked and his voice was so nasal and funny that someone nervously laughed.

  “That, you lying, cheating toad, is for what you stole from my family while me and my brothers were away fighting your war for you!”

  In the silence that followed Viv grabbed Gilly by the arm and marched her out. She was twenty-three, yet she daren’t argue with him. His rage was too terrifying. She looked back as he pulled her through the doorway but Paul wasn’t looking at her, he was attending to his father and mother. She doubted if he would ever look at her again.

  “Uncle Viv, wait, I want my shawl—” she began but he pushed her across the car park to where the horse was patiently waiting between the shafts of the cart and almost threw her onto it.

  “I want you to promise me never, never, to have anything to do with that thieving scheming lot ever again.”

  “I doubt if they’ll ever want to speak to me,” Gilly sobbed as she huddled up beside him, her arms around her shivering shoulders. “Why, Uncle Viv?”

  “They cheated us, that’s why. I’ve lost years of my life and probably lost my brother, too, fighting a damned war and while thousands of us have been living in conditions worse than animals could expect, he and that Gerry Daniels have been systematically bleeding us of our livelihood.” It was a long speech for the usually taciturn man.

  Gilly didn’t ask any more but sat huddled as the horse unhurriedly took them home. As soon as they reached the back lane and her uncle opened the stable door, she ran up to her room and sobbed until she was drained of all feeling.

  * * *

  Sam spent that Sunday wandering the street where he had walked with Lillian. He had found the site of the school where she had once taught and had been directed to the place where the school had been re-housed.

  At random he chose a few doors and showed Lillian’s photograph and asked if anyone had seen her. It was in a public house that he found his first clue to her whereabouts. The
barman remembered the large family well and was able to point out the road but not the number where the family now lived. With his chest tight with excitement, Sam ran almost all the way.

  The house he tried first was a shabby one at the corner of a long, curving road and as he knocked, he saw the curtains in an upstairs window across the road shake as if someone was watching.

  “Yeh, I know ’er, mate,” the occupant of the house told him. “Teacher ain’t she? Thought so. Lives just across the road.” He pointed to the house where Sam had seen the curtains twitch and he hurried across, feeling that at last his search was over.

  He knocked several times before he heard someone coming to open the door. A young boy looked up at him expectantly.

  “Hello,” Sam smiled and showed the photograph. “I’m looking for this young lady, is she in? Her name is Lillian. Tell her Sam is asking for her will you, son?”

  “She don’t live ’ere no more. Gorn she ’as.” The boy went to close the door but Sam’s boot stopped him.

  “Come on, I’m not going to hurt her, friends we are. Tell her it’s Sam. I know she’s here, the man across the road told me. Please,” Sam pleaded.

  “’Im acrorst there? Barmy ’e is mate. You can’t believe nothin’ ’e tells yer.” This time the boy succeeded in closing the door.

  Above him, Lilliam stared at the walls unseeing. That Sam should come back now, when everything was ruined, when it was too late, was cruel. She looked at her reflection in the mirror to see if her figure looked any different. She knew she was going to have a baby although the doctor hadn’t yet confirmed it. The realisation had been frightening at first but now she was pleased that she would have someone to care for, someone of her own. The only disappointment had been that it wasn’t Sam’s baby. Now he was back. She stayed in her bedroom staring at the walls and didn’t hear her small brother call up that he’d done what she’d asked and sent the geezer away.