Exhaling a shaky breath, I nod to myself and exit the apartment, locking the door behind me. The air is frigid and windy out on the street, I should have brought a jacket. As I walk briskly to the news station, my breath comes out as white fog in front of me.
I wonder if Jess really will be at my apartment when I return. This feels like some sort of sick joke from the universe, as if its shoving my pain in my face and saying ‘Here, have a mouthful of this before I snatch it all away again,’ and then laughing at my suffering.
I pause across the street from the news station to gather my thoughts and pull myself back together. I need this job. I want this job.
The heat must be turned on inside Channel 8’s reception foyer; I uncross my shivering arms from my cold chest and adjust my bag. Standing just inside the doorway, I lift my head, gazing up in awe at the enormous canvas pictures hung up on the walls. Some of them are news anchors, smiling and professional looking; others are scenes from local tragedies or triumphs, a horrific fire, a sports person clinging to a trophy. It’s somewhat stunning, really.
A small woman with dark brown hair and glasses pushes past me roughly, smirking over her shoulder as she makes her way to the front desk. I shake my head. Some people are just rude.
I make my way over to the front desk and stand away from her as I wait for the reception clerk to get my I.D. badge ready.
More interns arrive and we all mill about as a group in front of the flustered clerk’s desk as she fumbles with papers and clip-on badges. The rude brunette shuffles through the crowd toward me, I try my hardest not to groan loudly at her as she comes to a stop beside me.
“Hi.” I keep my face blank, she’s almost too cheery. I hate it. “So you’re interning here too?” she asks, gazing up at me expectantly, oblivious to my internal tirade. She has light blue eyes, almost grey. Instantly my mind conjures up an image of Jessica’s beautiful deep blue eyes. This girl’s eyes don’t even compare. Besides, this one wears glasses. I turn away from her and focus on the poor receptionist.
“Hey.” The brown-haired woman moves to stand directly in front of me on her tippy toes, trying to get my attention. She’s kind of short. I gaze down at her uninterested. “I was talking to you. I asked you a question. Don’t be rude.” She huffs at me, placing her hands on her hips. I roll my eyes at her and open my mouth to tell her to get lost when the receptionist calls everyone to come over and collect their badges before following the HR Manager, who’s standing to the side near the elevators.
I nudge my way past the pushy girl and snatch my badge off the desk, and then I walk over to the group gathering around the blonde HR Manager.
“Good Morning everyone, my name is Georgia, and I will be helping you find your assigned departments so you can all start your blossoming careers.” Georgia smiles, showing off her pearly white teeth and clapping her hands in anticipation. “Now, I’ve already assigned everyone a partner or teammate. You will have to be there to help and support your partner through your internship. Let’s begin, shall we?”
I sigh and glance around the dwindling group of people. Georgia calls out another two names and I look over at the last person besides me not assigned a partner. The pushy brunette strolls over to me with a smile. “Looks like we’ll be working together.”
“No, anyone but you,” the words slip out before I can stop them. The brunette gasps and my eyes widen in horror when I realize what I’ve said. What the hell is wrong with me? My social skills are severely lacking. The girl spins on her heel and dashes through the foyer toward the central courtyard of the building. I glance up at Georgia, embarrassed. She raises her eyebrow at me and purses her lips in anger.
“I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry,” I apologize, glancing at the other interns, who are staring at me in varying degrees of disgust or annoyance. I focus back on Georgia. “I’ll go find her then?”
Georgia nods. “Be sure to keep your harsh comments to yourself in the future, Mr. Reed. I will meet you both up on the fifth floor when you’re ready.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I turn and jog out to the courtyard, holding my bag steady on my shoulder as it bounces around.
The central courtyard of Channel 8 is like one big, beautifully manicured garden. I stop and take in the multitude of colorful flowers and plants before walking down one of the concrete pathways, searching for the girl.
I find her perched on one of the cement benches staring off into the distance.
“Hi,” I say softly as I take a seat beside her. She fidgets with her I.D. badge in her lap, ignoring me. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it.” I keep my gaze on her, waiting for her to acknowledge me. She twitches and turns her head to face me. Looking at her now, I realize she must be around my own age if not younger.
“You’re such a liar. If you’re going to insult me in front of everyone, the least you could do is be truthful when you apologize,” she scoffs, clipping her badge back on her shirt and running her hands down her pant legs.
I stare at her in shock, struggling to return my expression back to my normal unfeeling coldness. I nod and look down at my clenched hands. “You’re right. I’m sorry for being an asshole,” I reply flatly.
The girl twists on the bench so she’s fully facing me and holds out her hand. “Bailey Nichols.”
My mouth drops open in surprise. She let my insult go just like that. I reach out hesitantly and shake her hand. “Kristian Reed.”
She smiles. It lights up her entire face. “Looking forward to working with you, Kristian Reed.” She stands and heads back up the pathway toward the reception door. I’m too stunned to do anything but stare after her. She turns back at the last minute and looks at me curiously. “Well, are you coming?” I shake my head to get my thoughts in order and jump off the bench to follow after her.
Georgia is waiting for us when we reach the fifth floor. As soon as she spots us, her face lights up in pride. “Glad to see you two have worked out your differences.” She smiles and starts to walk away, calling over her shoulder, “Shall we get started?”
Bailey and I follow her into a busy office full of white cubicles and desks. It’s a hive of activity, people buzzing around with armloads of paper, running to their desks to answer phone calls, standing in the lunch area drinking coffee and eating snacks.
Georgia leads us to a double cubicle with one large desk and one flat screen monitor and computer. “You will be sharing this desk while here. Your start time is eight and you finish at five. Any questions?” She clasps her hands together and waits expectantly. Out of the corner of my eye I see Bailey quickly glance my way.
A tall red-haired woman comes to a stop behind Georgia and taps her on the shoulder. Georgia jumps in surprise and turns with a smile. “Ah, hello Fiona, these are your new research interns. I’ll leave them in your capable hands.” Fiona smiles shrewdly and then turns her attention to us. Georgia gives a small wave as she leaves for the elevator.
“So,” Fiona starts. Her voice is clipped and harsh. “I need you two to finish the research on this article.” She slaps a wad of papers down on the desk between us. “I expect it to be done by the time you leave this afternoon.” She spins around and strides away, her head held high with authority.
Bailey lets out a heavy breath beside me and sits down across from the computer. “Better get started.”
Finding information on Brokenridge fuel prices is monotonous and boring, the clock ticks away slowly as we scribble down notes and print out articles. Bailey doesn’t say anything to me until she starts packing up her things and shuffling all of our research into one pile. She looks tired as she smiles over at me. “See you in the morning?” I nod in response and shove my own notebook in my bag, slinging it over my shoulder.
My stomach grumbles painfully as I trudge along the sidewalk in the near dark toward my apartment building. Glittering lights catch my attention from across the street. I stop to gaze at the Chinese takeout place, contemplating. I haven�
�t unpacked anything at home, which includes all the canned food and non-perishables.
The noodles are hot against the palm of my hand, I should have asked for a bag. I shuffle the noodles into my other hand as I reach into my pocket to get my keys and unlock the door. My apartment feels empty when I walk in. Everything is shadowy and dark. I flick the light switch beside the door and look around. My things are still scattered across the floor, everything else is still packed. Everything is how I left it…except…
“Jess?” I whisper into the quiet. Nothing, just silence. I start to panic, maybe it was just my imagination. I try again. “Jessica?”
“Kristian,” Jessica’s soft voice echoes back at me. Relief washes over me and I sit down at the small table in the kitchen. Something brushes against my hand on top of the table and suddenly Jess materializes beside me, holding my hand. She runs her hand up my arm, down my side, and rests it on my knee, not losing contact as she sits down beside me while I eat.
“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” I ask, concerned.
She shakes her head with a small smile. God, she’s so beautiful. “No, I don’t think I need to eat anymore, I don’t feel hungry.” I use the plastic fork to shovel noodles into my mouth, I’m starving. “Where are we?” Jess asks, watching me eat like a pig. I slow down and self-consciously swallow my mouthful.
“Brokenridge. It’s about three or four hours from home.”
She nods. “So, you didn’t get a chance to answer this morning. How is everyone, what’s been happening since I…” she trails off and glances at me cautiously. I can feel the pain swell up inside me. Dropping the plastic fork on the table, I sit back in my chair and stare at the cream colored wall across from me.
I have to answer her. “Umm, not much has happened, actually.” I’m instantly taken back through all the nights I spent drinking or losing myself in other women. Guilt consumes me; I peek over at Jessica’s expectant face.
“How are my parents?” She looks so innocent and peaceful; I can’t tell her I stopped talking to her parents because it hurt too much to be reminded how I couldn’t save her, how I killed their only daughter, every time I saw them.
“Oh, I umm, I actually don’t know.”
She frowns and looks away. “Maybe I’ll try and visit them when I can figure out how.” She looks back at me with a smile and squeezes my leg. I muster up a fake half smile, then start packing up my noodles, and clearing the table.
Turning the water in the shower as hot as it can go, I try to burn away my guilt and pain. She’s here and alive, sort of, actually, come to think of it, I don’t know what to call her state of being, but it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t stop the overwhelming grief.
I can’t feel her in the bathroom with me, but I still glance around every time I grab the soap or snatch my towel off the rail. It’s disconcerting knowing she’s here, but I can’t see her.
After I towel myself off and throw on a pair of boxer shorts, I slide under the covers and lay on my side facing the empty side of the bed. I have the bracelet clutched in my hand in front of me. It seems to have something to do with being able to see her. A soft light fills the dark room as Jessica appears, lying on the bed beside me, our hands intertwined in the middle.
“I love you, Kristian,” she whispers, running her cold fingers down my arm.
I move forward and press my forehead to hers, holding her gaze. “I love you too, Jessica. I can’t believe you’re actually here.”
“Me either.”
I close my eyes and drift off.
***
“Both of you will be accompanying Gary on his off-site filming this Friday,” Fiona snaps, not making eye contact with either of us as she explains the details. Once she leaves, Bailey leans across the desk toward me.
“Oh, how exciting, I can’t wait to be out in the field.” She grins, being her usual cheery self. Did I mention how much I hate it? Huffing in annoyance, I roll my eyes at her before getting back to the notes I’ve been taking on the new set for the morning show. Bailey sighs loudly and sits with a heavy thud. “Well, you’re no fun.” I ignore her, shoving the computer screen her way so she can use it for her own notes.
As soon as the clock hits five, I’m out the door. I need to see Jess. I need to touch her and make sure she’s real.
CHAPTER 4
JESSICA
I lean closer to the toaster and stretch out my fingers slowly. I’m not sure if it was my imagination last night, but I swear I could feel the sheets on Kristian’s bed without him touching me. My fingers disappear through the polished surface, I can’t feel a thing. Disappointment crashes through my chest. Maybe it was all in my head.
I float through the small apartment, my body sliding through the table and chairs. I’m not tired or hungry, just lonely. It’s like I don’t exist when Kristian isn’t here to see me.
I turn in a circle and my legs bang into the coffee table.
Ouch.
I turn and glare at the table and then do a double take. Did I just touch the table? Oh my god, I wasn’t imagining it! I drop to my knees on the hard floor; and slowly, very gently run my fingers across the glass surface. It’s cool under my touch. I nearly scream in joy. Jumping up from the floor, I race around the room touching everything I can find, just to make sure. I can feel everything. The soft material of the sofa. The cold surface of the TV screen. The gauzy feel of the curtains swinging in the light breeze of the open window. I never thought anything so trivial would make me so happy. I squeal like a little girl and jump up and down. This is fantastic.
Suddenly I’m across the room, standing beside the front door. What just happened? I stare wide-eyed at the sofa on the other side of the apartment. I swear I was just standing beside it. How did I get all the way over here?
The apartment door swings open and Kristian walks in, immediately searching for me. I move in front of him and touch his hand. His eyes light up as he sees me, but he doesn’t smile, he never smiles.
“I missed you,” he says softly, pulling me into a hug and holding me tightly to his chest. “I love my new job, but all I think about all day is coming home and being with you,” he whispers into my shoulder. I smile and grip him tighter. I feel like I’m getting a second chance to be with the love of my life. I won’t waste it.
***
KRISTIAN
Jess stops me before I leave my apartment on Friday morning. Clutching my hand, she drags me over to the small sofa and pulls me down to sit beside her.
“I think I’ve finally figured it out.” Her eyes sparkle in triumph.
I frown with confusion. “Figured what out?”
“Today, I’m going to try visiting my family back home.”
“Do you think they’ll be able to see you?” I ask, gazing at her in all seriousness. What if they can? Will she stay there, opting to stay with her family instead of me? The thought leaves me breathless, but I keep it to myself. I can’t be selfish. I can’t keep her from them.
“I just want to see them. See how they’re doing,” she whispers, looking away. Her hand twists in mine with worry.
I reach over with my other hand and pull her chin around to face me, gripping her hand tightly. “Just, please be careful.” I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her again.
Her whole face brightens as she smiles. “I will, promise.”
The way she looks right now, it’s exactly the same expression she gave me on the night of our Prom when I asked her to dance. It makes me want to feel something after all the years devoid of strong emotions. I can feel them building up inside me. Jess’s expression changes to one of yearning. Without thinking, I move forward quickly, placing our joined hands on her knee and pressing my lips firmly to hers. She’s stunned for a brief moment before giving in, her lips coming to life under mine.
She puts her other hand on the side of my face, holding me closer as we kiss. I’m out of breath when she pulls away and looks down shyly, her delicate cheeks turning a beautiful sha
de of pink. A half smile tugs at my mouth. It’s the first time I’ve really felt somewhat happy since she left.
***
JESSICA
Nobody can see me. It’s a weird feeling walking down the street unnoticed and invisible, people walking straight through you. I turn down a familiar street, pausing to gaze around at the changes in my neighbors’ yards.
A small child skips along the cement pathway in my direction. As he gets closer I prepare myself for the unsettling feeling of someone walking through me. It’s like being nauseous and light-headed while having a tingling sensation run up your spine at the same time. The kid stops in front of me and stares up at my face. Oh my god, can he see me? He can’t be more than three or four years old, with cute curly blond hair and big blue eyes.
“Zander!” a panicked female voice calls out from around the corner. The owner of the voice appears beside a tall male figure. I squint, trying to make out the oddly familiar couple as they come closer to collect the child. My eyes widen and I take a step back in surprise as I recognize the slightly older faces of Jenifer and Brodie. “Zander, there you are, you naughty boy. Mommy was so worried.” Jenifer leans down and picks up the stunned child, walking straight through me. Brodie bends in close to them as they walk away, kissing them both on the cheek.
I stay where I am, frozen in shock. She was one of my best friends from school. It feels like it was only yesterday I encouraged her to talk to Brodie, now they have a child together. A little prick of jealousy grows inside me, but I push it away and hurry to my parents’ old house. Hopefully they haven’t moved away.
The front of my home looks exactly the same. White weatherboard, green trimmings, a large tree covering the front yard. I exhale the breath I’m holding and walk up to the light green front door.
November Sky (Hardest Mistakes Book 2) Page 3
