by Chloe Walsh
"Anyway," I muttered, moving on from that awkward statement. "Things are…complicated in my life right now. It wouldn’t work out between us." It couldn’t. Teagan would be used against me and I couldn’t let that happen. I needed to keep my eye on the donut – and ignore the stupid voice inside my head telling me she was the donut. "Not that it even matters considering she hates me most of the time."
"You know what they say," he laughed. "Hate is the closest thing to love."
"I'm not good for her, Kyle," I told him quietly. "I don’t want to…." I paused and stopped running. "I don’t want to break her."
Kyle stared at me long and hard before finally speaking. "Be careful, Noah," he told me in an oddly serious tone. "It's a very long drop, kid and there's no coming back up. I hope she's worth the fall."
****
Noah
"What do you want, Gonzalez?" I asked in a flat tone as I mentally scoped the area. It was the middle of the day, a week before Christmas and he'd shown up at my house with my perfectly polished car in tow.
Either I'd earned the gang leader's respect the other week or I was about to be taken up the mountains and kneecapped. Neither boded well with me. Mortico Gonzalez wasn’t the type of person I intended doing business with again.
"What's with the face, Messina?" he chuckled, shoving his meaty hands into his jean pockets as he leaned against my car that was currently parked in my driveway. "You still tripping over the girl?"
A vein ticked in my neck. "My girl," I said in a cold tone, hoping like hell Teagan went to school this morning because if she heard me calling her my girl she'd more than likely has a conniption fit. "And yeah, G, you can bet your ass I'm still tripping." And he was tripping my fucking fuse box by making little of what he'd done...
"I get it," Gonzalez coaxed as he raised his hands in the air. "She's yours. You don’t share. I went too far."
"Looking in her direction was going too far," I snapped, filling with rage as the image of him with his filthy hands on Teagan tortured me. "Putting your hands on her took it to a whole new level."
He ran a hand through his greased back hair and sighed heavily. "Well, tripping or not, a deal's a deal, kid. You upheld your end of the deal," Gonzalez rasped. Raising his hand, he smirked and tossed my keys towards me. "And unlike your step-daddy I'm a man of my word."
I caught them mid-air but remained exactly where I was – on my porch – stoically silent and not trusting his word.
A man's word meant nothing to me…
"You'll find your bread in the glove compartment," he added before taking his phone out of his pocket and pressing a few buttons. "Such a shame," he mused as he studied my face. "Such talent wasted… if you ever get tired of being your step-daddy's bitch, you phone me up."
"Am I missing something here?" I asked him, not having a fucking clue of what was going on. Yeah, I'd upheld my side of the deal and put Cortez out of commission but hell…I'd lost my shit with him. None of this was making any sense to me. "I hit you, Gonzalez. I threatened to kill you."
He stared up at me with dark intense eyes. "And would you do it again?" he asked.
"For her?" I nodded my head and folded my arms across my chest. "Absolutely."
"Then you're missing absolutely nothing," he chuckled. "Loyalty, Messina," he mused as a black Harley pulled up at the curb beside my house. He climbed on behind the driver. "Is a rare attribute – something your daddy didn’t have enough of."
Gonzalez shook his head and patted the driver's shoulder. "You're not Antonio Messina," he called out. "So why do you still pay for his mistakes?"
****
Teagan
"Forget it happened?" Hope asked in an indignant tone as we walked towards the student parking lot Friday afternoon after school.
Courtesy of the school principal, Mr. Lafferty, my uncle had gotten wind of my absenteeism and had personally driven me to school this morning and had even gone as far as walking me into the building. I thought this was pretty pointless considering we were getting our Christmas holidays from school today, but what the hell did I know… According to my uncle, attendance was essential.
I had hoped to avoid everyone I knew, but that plan had gone bust the moment Hope caught me in the bathroom and demanded answers. I'd spilled my guts, telling her everything about the ring of fire and Noah.
An entire school day had passed and the girl was still like a freaking detective trying to suck information out of me. But to be fair to Hope, she was the bearer of good news this morning when she informed me that Jason and Ellie were both absent – apparently Ellie was out of state with her dad for Christmas and Jason had contracted chickenpox. Reese was in school, but she hadn’t said a word about the events of that fateful night. Instead she just glared evilly at me whenever we'd passed one another in the hallway.
"You can't be serious, Teagan?"
"It really wasn’t a big deal, Hope," I muttered as I popped an earplug in my ear and stared down at the screen of my phone, flicking through songs. "Forget about it – I have."
Ironically, Maroon 5's One More Night blasted through my earplug and I immersed myself in the lyrics.
"…You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war…"
"…But baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you…"
Hope reached over and grabbed my phone out of my hand, preventing me from dutifully ignoring her. "You and Noah have been tormenting each other for months," she hissed.
Hope looked even more beautiful than usual clad in a red coat, black skinnies and white high heeled pumps. Her black curly hair was pinned in an elaborate half up half down style. I looked like something old and moldy next to her in my workout clothes I'd changed into after last class and a huge padded coat. I had plans to hit the treadmill after school and work off some of the tension burning inside of me…
"You finally get down to business and screw it out – pun intended – and now you're saying you want to forget it ever happened?" Her blue eyes were narrowed in disbelief, proving she knew I hadn’t forgotten a damn thing.
"We didn’t screw it out, Hope. We kissed," I hissed, upping my pace as I stalked towards her car. It still hadn’t snowed and I was feeling seriously let down…
"Yes, you kissed," Hope countered as she pressed a button on her car key and her white Jeep lit up. "And a hell of a lot more – while you were naked. This is huge, Teagan – you can't tell me it's not."
"Whatever." I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I walked over to the passenger side of her jeep and flung the door open. I clenched my eyes shut and tried to block out the memory of Noah kissing me, and just how good it felt, but Noah's words had stung like the lash of a whip.
"You're not worth the fucking hassle…"
Yeah, that still stung like something fierce.
"I'm over it," I muttered, climbing inside. Truth was I was nowhere near over it. I hadn’t seen Noah in weeks. He wasn’t in school today and I forced myself to believe that I was happy about this, ignoring the dull ache in my chest. Maybe he had chickenpox, too… Ugh, it didn’t matter to me because I didn’t care about him.
I wouldn’t.
"Do you like him?" Hope persisted as she climbed into the driver's seat. "Seriously, Teagan, do you have any feelings for him at all?"
"Does hatred count?" I offered sweetly as I rooted through a pile of CDs and placed a disc I wasn’t familiar with into the car stereo. "He's good," I mumbled as a voice I was familiar with blasted through the speakers. "Is this his new one?"
"Yes he is and it is, don't change the subject." Turning down the volume on her stereo, Hope turned to look at me. "Well?"
I exhaled heavily, knowing she wasn’t going to let this go without a full confession. "He sets me on fire," I reluctantly admitted, leaning back in my seat, the memory of Noah touching me was causing my entire body to heat.
I closed my eyes and shivered. "Noah Messina lights me up like a firework and I can't even begin to exp
lain the multitude of emotions he rouses inside of me."
Hope's eyes widened but I carried on now that I was on a roll. "It's terrifying and addictive and wrong and right all at the same time. My brain can't stand him, and my body can't get enough of him." I let out a sigh. "Happy now?"
Nodding, she grinned and wiggled her eyebrows at me.
I automatically blushed and Hope's grin widened. "He's so bad for me, Hope," I confessed quietly. "The things he's involved in. He's so…he's…"
"I knew you were hot for him," Hope said smugly. "How far would you have gone with him – if Jason, Reese and Ellie hadn’t interrupted you?"
All the way… "I'm going to pretend you never asked that question," I shot back quickly.
"Dude, you have no idea how lucky you are having Noah live next door to you."
I rolled my eyes. "As opposed to?"
Hope's face was suddenly serious. "The object of my desire lives in a different state, Teegs," she huffed. "And won't touch any part of my body that's covered with clothing." Her brow wrinkled in confusion as she stared down at her hands. "I don’t get why Jordan won't sleep with me."
"Okay," I chuckled, shaking my head. "Talk about a subject changer…"
"I'm serious, Teagan," Hope snapped before letting out a pained groan. "I've loved him my whole life." Hope's shoulders slumped and she rested her forehead against the steering wheel. "And he won't give it up – which makes me feel like a huge virgin slut because who thinks like me?" She exhaled dramatically. "It's supposed to be the man who's desperate to take the next step, but Jordan…" Hope threw her head back and slammed her palms against the wheel in frustration. "He's like a freaking priest."
"Maybe he's trying to respect you?" I offered lamely, not knowing what else to say. "You said he's older than you, right?"
"Twenty-one," Hope replied immediately. "He is twenty-one years old, Teagan." She stared at me like I was missing something crucial. "Name another twenty-one year old man who wants to wait."
"Edward Cullen?" I offered, struggling to keep my face straight.
Hope glared at me. "He was one hundred and nine," she snapped. "And I know we're supposed to be talking about your screwed up tryst with Noah, and I am interested, I swear I am, but Jordan's coming home this weekend for the holidays and I'm done with the waiting. He has to have sex with me." Hope blew a curl off her face. "Please help me make my boyfriend have sex with me, Teagan," she begged.
I stared at her determined face with a horrified look on my own. "Well this is the most uncomfortable conversation we've had in a while," I muttered, shaking my head.
Hope didn’t have a chance to respond because the back doors of her jeep opened and three testosterone fuelled triplets piled in.
"This conversation isn't over," she mumbled before shifting her car into gear and tearing off. "You're still sleeping over tonight, right?"
"Yeah," I mumbled. "I'll swing by after my workout."
"Great," Hope muttered. "We'll hatch a plan then."
****
Chapter 16
Teagan
My plan to hit the gym after school seemed like the perfect stress reliever – until I realized I wasn’t the only one with the idea.
"We need to talk, Thorn." A deep, husky voice hissed from behind me and I momentarily tensed before running through the foyer of the Henderson Hotel in the direction of the elevators. The gym was underground so that was where I was going, if he would just disappear…
The elevator doors opened and I rushed inside only to pale when he followed me.
The doors closed and I was trapped.
Trapped with a guy whose car I destroyed with paint. A guy who riled me up more than anyone else on the planet. A boy who looked entirely too tempting in sweats. A boy who'd seen me naked.
I swallowed deeply.
Oh shit…
"If I didn’t know any better I'd swear you were trying to avoid me," Noah said dryly as he dropped his gym bag on the floor and folded his arms across his chest. "What are you doing here, Thorn?"
"What do you think I'm doing here, Noah? I'm here to work out…oh, but don’t worry, I'm here for more than just the release of punching the crap out of things," I sneered as I purposefully avoided looking at the way his t-shirt was glued to his chest, or the way his black tattoos looked fucking fabulous against his tanned skin.
"What the hell is that?" Noah demanded, pointing his finger accusingly at my chest.
"It's called a sports bra," I spat. "You should learn the word. It's what people do for fun…they take up a sport."
"You're not gonna get over that anytime soon, are you?" he asked in an annoyed tone.
"The fact that you beat people up for money?" I shot back sarcastically. "No…I'm afraid not."
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hit him or throw myself at him and the memory of him kissing me did little to calm my frazzled nerves. I needed to keep my guard up with this one. I knew that, now all I had to do was make my body understand.
"So this is the way it's gonna be between us?" he asked in a level tone. "Ugly?"
"Looks like it," I shot back.
"Fine." Reaching over Noah pulled the strap of my sports bra before letting it snap back against my skin. "So are you working out or going working?"
"You know what, screw this." I was either going to scream or cry with temper. Suspecting the latter I made a decision. I shoved past Noah and slammed my hand on the keypad. "Keep your bloody gym. I'm out."
"Stop pressing it," Noah snapped. "It's already moving. Teagan, stop, you're going to jam us…"
"No," I roared, pressing all the buttons just to piss him off. "I won't stop. You stop – stop telling me what to do. I want out of here, Noah. Now."
"Teagan," Noah warned as he moved towards me and tried to shoo my hand away from the keypad. "You're going to break it."
The words weren’t out of Noah's mouth when the lift suddenly jolted, causing me to press up against him.
A few seconds later everything went dark and I didn’t need a jolt to press against Noah; I practically climbed up his body.
"You just don't listen to a damn thing anyone says," he snarled, wrapping his arm around my waist. "I goddamn told you not to press them all at once."
"Oh shut the hell up, Noah," I hissed, wrapping myself around him like ivy, squeezing his neck for dear life. "This is your fault."
"My fault?" he demanded in outrage as he clamped his hands on my thighs – which were currently wrapped around his waist – and held me tighter. "Please tell me how you came to that conclusion when you're the one who went nuclear on the goddamn keypad?"
"You touched my bra," I snapped, flustered.
"You grabbed my dick the very first day of school," he shot back angrily. "What's your point? And besides, I've touched more than your bra, Thorn."
"You shouldn’t have said that about going working," I shot back, furious. "You hurt my feelings."
"Oh, I'm sorry." His tone was highly sarcastic. "If you're that fucking sensitive then take care of yourself."
With that Noah dumped me on the floor, in the dark, on my own.
"Why weren’t you in school today?" I demanded, desperately trying to distract myself from the suffocating feeling engulfing me. "We had a test in English."
"I was supposed to be," I heard him say. "But something came up." He paused before adding, "I had… an appointment."
"At the STD clinic?" I shot back, breathing in through my nose and slowly through my mouth.
"Funny," he grunted.
"And another thing," I snapped, clinging onto my anger. Anger was good. Anger was better than fear. "Tell your asshole dad not to threaten me again."
"What?" Noah asked flatly.
"You heard me," I snarled. Why I was bringing this up was beyond me, but I was desperate to clutch at any straw that kept me angry with Noah because the alternative… The alternative terrified me. "Stay on my side of the fence." I mimicked the creep's deep voice from weeks back. "You t
ake after him."
"George is my stepfather," Noah corrected me in a soft tone. "He's not my real dad. That title goes to the scum bag who left me to clean up his mess."
"Go scum-bag dad," I muttered and I immediately regretted my horrible words.
"Noah, I'm sorry," I told him, but I already knew it was too late to apologize.
The atmosphere around us changed…chilled.
Noah was breathing hard and fast and was silent for so long I thought he would never speak to me again. But then he let rip. "Do you have any idea of what it feels like to have a stepfather just shoved on you when you're fifteen – one that hates your goddamn guts?" His body stiffened beside mine and I shifted away. "A guy who uses your mother's treatment as a goddamn bargaining tool?"
"Noah…"
"Do you know what it feels like, Teagan?" he roared. "To be fucking alone in a family you don’t belong to – with people who make you sick to your goddamn stomach?" Noah jerked away from me and then I heard the sound of his fist pummeling the wall of the elevator.
"Do you know what it's like?" he roared. "Having to pay back the debt of the woman who spent the best part of your childhood shoving you into cupboards and locking you away in a basement for weeks on end because she's convinced the fucking world is against her?"
"Noah, please stop…"
"Or being the one to console her every time one of my daddies – and those were a dime a dozen – left in the middle of the night?" he sneered. "Have you ever been afraid Teagan, truly afraid of your parents? Have you ever been cold or felt the absolute fucking agony that is hunger pains?"
"No," I replied quietly.
"No," he sneered. "Of course you haven’t. A good little girl like you wouldn’t have a clue…"
"It that where your mom is?" I asked him nervously. "Having treatment?"
"Yes, she's having treatment," he spat in a mocking tone. "George is out doing god knows what, fucking god knows who, and Ellie's probably following suit. Is that enough information for you, Teagan, or would you like to know some more so you can ridicule me and talk down to me like I'm a piece of shit?"
