"I thought you didn't do romance. I thought you only did fun."
"Come on," she said, stepping up onto the deck. "I can smell food and I'm starving."
A small buffet of seafood had been laid out across the bow, but no one was tucking in. Lizzie picked up a prawn and sucked the hot sauce off the end before dropping it into her mouth. She licked her lips, then her finger. It was just about the most sensual thing I had ever seen. How could she look so good doing something so mundane?
The captain gave us all the safety chat then headed off behind the wheel. Slowly, we started to turn then glide out way of the harbor. We sat in silence, sipping our drinks with our feet up on the railing as a subtle breeze sobered us up. Gradually, we found our way further and further into the middle of nowhere. There was no sight of the harbor, or even another boat. All that could be seen were the stars above.
"Orion looks incredible, doesn't it?"
“Which one is that? I've never been any good at astrology."
"Astronomy," she corrected me. "Anyway, Orion's Belt is that one," she said, pointing directly above us. "It's supposed to be the most mystical of all the constellations."
"I don't much fall for any of that."
"But you can't deny that its beautiful."
"I can't deny that you're beautiful."
"You're such a charmer," she laughed. "Sometimes I wonder if you practice these lines in front of the mirror."
She cuddled up beside me, her long hair draped over me like a tapestry of silk.
She fell silent and her breathing slowed down. I looked over my shoulder and saw Christy and Josh were making out like a couple of teenagers. Beside them, Adam was staring down at his phone, bored. I looked back down at Lizzie and saw her eyes were closed.
"I wish this didn't have to end," I said to myself.
"Hmm... What was that?" asked Lizzie.
"Nothing."
"You said you wished this didn't have to end."
"Maybe I did."
She stiffened and sat bolt upright.
"You mean us,"
"What else could I possibly mean?"
She ran her fingers through her hair, but the wind was picking it up, sending it fanning around her head like an auburn halo.
"Maybe in another life things would have been different," she said.
"Why can't things be different in this life?"
"Because... Because..."
She didn't have an answer, and so just looked out at the sea that was starting to become choppy as the wind picked up. The previously still water was now peppered with white, frothy waves and the yacht was starting to bob up and down with increasing fervor.
"They just can't," she eventually said. "We have two completely different lives. How are we supposed to keep it up? What are we supposed to do? Just suddenly move in together and live a normal suburban life?"
"Well no but-"
"Exactly. You will always be special to me. You're not the kind of guy that I could forget in a hurry but..."
"I love you," I suddenly blurted out.
The words hung in the air as bitter and startling to the senses as the salt.
"There, I said. I love you. It's not a cheesy chat up line. I didn't practice it in the mirror. I actually mean it. I really do."
I felt like an idiot. Never had I said those words to another woman that wasn't my mother, and I was shocked at the power that came from them. They felt as though they were bubbling out from some deep and hidden part of my body I had never accessed before.
But it felt as though they had fallen flat. They lingered between us for a second, then they simply drifted away on the sea breeze and disappeared out into the waves.
You're a fucking idiot.
Lizzie appeared shocked and didn't know where to look. She looked a peculiar mixture of flattered and horrified.
"Think I've had too much to drink" I said. "I'm going to find some coffee."
I walked away in search of the kitchen below deck. All these yachts were the same and contained a small kitchen tucked away down below. They were always cramped, but always contained the one thing a seaman is always in need of, strong coffee.
I darted in and out of the way of sleepy guests who were draped around the yacht in various stages of drunkenness. At the door, Louise was lying on the bench on her side, her purse tucked up under head and her knees pulled up to her chest. She snored softly to herself, being lulled into a deep sleep by the constant rocking of the boat. I pulled her cardigan up over her shoulders then stepped around her.
Inside, I shimmied down the stairs and caught sight of myself in the minuscule, circular mirror on the wall.
"You're actually an idiot," I told myself. "If you hadn't screwed things up before, you've fucked them now."
I gave my cheeks a few light slaps in a desperate bid to sober up, then ventured further down.
Once in the kitchen, I found the kettle and lowered it to the hob.
Lizzie
Did he just say he loved me?
I was in shock for a minute. I couldn’t move.
I watched his figure slink away through the crowd of people and then disappear completely into the shadows. He couldn't have just said what I thought he did. Jumping out my seat, suddenly as sober as a judge, I followed him, stumbling as I struggled to get my sea legs.
As I descended the stairs I could hear him clanking around the kitchen. I found him plunging a cafetiere as though he was trying to kill the thing.
“What are you doing down here?”
“Nothing.”
“What you said up there...”
“Just forget I said anything.”
At last, he poured the scalding liquid into a cup and spooned in three sugars. Seeing my expression, he said, “I need the pick me up.”
He held the coffee to his face, his eyes looking everywhere but at me.
“What's Christy up to?” he asked as though he was trying to force small talk.
“Nothing. It's like a battlefield up there with bodies all over the place. Everyone's passed out.”
I moved over to him placing my arms around his waist. Everything about the moment was overwhelming. Looking up at him, I thought there was only one thing I wanted to tell him.
I wanted to tell him just how much I loved him too. At the back of my mind the words have been lingering for a couple days threatening to spill out my mouth, but the thought of letting them tumble out terrified me. The last thing I needed to do now was tell a man I loved him. Once again, I forced the words down deep inside me and held him close.
He brushed the hair from around my neck and kissed my forehead. I took his face in my hands and kissed him softly. When I pulled away I knew it was now or never.
Just do it. Just tell him!
“I love you too,” I said, the words escaping my mouth in barely more than a whisper.
He paused for a minute as though he was trying to figure out if I was being serious.
“Do you mean it?” he asked.
“I do.”
His whole body relaxed in an instant. He looked as though he had waited his whole life to hear those words. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him closer. Pressing myself up close to him, I kissed him hard, raising my hand to his chest. Popping the buttons off his shirt one by one I breathed in everything about him.
“Let's go somewhere nicer,” I said.
I took him by the hand and led him down the hallway to a cramped but cozy bedroom. The bed was pressed up against the wall. It was barely more than a hammock, but we both fell onto it gratefully.
“Wait,” he said and he stepped away to jam the chair underneath the door handle.
He came back with a smile that melted my insides.
I didn’t know what to think in that moment. I had never been more in love, but I also knew that I shouldn’t be because very soon it was going to come to an end.
Only a few days existed between this night and the end of everything. If only I didn’t h
ave to go home to normality.
If only this moment could last forever.
I looked up at him as he pulled off his shirt, watching as it fell to his feet. He kneeled on the bed and gently kissed my shoulders.
“I didn’t think I’d find anybody like you,” he said, hooking his fingers into the straps of my dress.
He pulled them down to my waist and exposed my breasts. He took them in his hands and squeezed gently before lowering his lips to one nipple then another. I leaned back and relished the feeling.
Sliding my dress over my hips, he left me lying in nothing but my panties. He stroked me over the top of them before pulling them down over my thighs.
I sat up and tangled my fingers into his belt pulling it off his body as it made the sound of a cracking whip. When I slipped down his boxer shorts he was ready, but I was going to make him wait.
I took his head in my hands and pushed it down between my legs. He smiled all the way down knowing exactly what he had to do. Unlike before, there was no time to tease me. His lips went straight to my clit, and I was instantly filled with a deep searing heat as liquid passion filled my whole body. I fell back against the bed clutching at the bed sheets as pure ecstasy shook my body. When it became too much and I couldn't contain my screams any longer, I took the corner of the duvet and stuffed it into my mouth biting down on it to stifle my cries.
Between my legs, he groaned as he sucked. I could feel a fast orgasm approach, but before it could take over my body, he pulled away.
“Don't stop!” I gasped.
A wicked smile came over his lips as he took his cock in his hand. He kneeled in front of me, pushing my knees apart. I was overcome with the need to have him closer, to feel every part of him. I pulled him down on top of me and pressed my breasts up against his chest, as I opened my legs even further apart.
We kissed tenderly, our bodies writhing together. It felt so natural, like we had done this a thousand times before. Like we had always been together, but there was still fire between us, still a desperate need to feel close.
He slid inside me easily, his movements slow, steady and deliberate. He kissed my face as he moved his hips, grinding against me as small groans escaped his lips.
I coiled my legs around his waist pulling him closer to me. His hands reached my breasts as my back arched and a rushing climax threatened to invade my body. I could hold it no longer, and it coursed through me, unfurling itself from somewhere deep inside me. I cried out as I came, and he pulled me close to him as his groans grew louder. I bit into his chest as the longest, strongest orgasm of my life ran through me.
He buried his head between my breasts as his movements became more desperate and with one final thrust, he yelled out through gritted teeth and ejaculated inside me.
For a long while he didn't move and lay with his head on my chest. I stroked his hair, my legs still tangled around him. Above us, I could hear footsteps and mechanical clunking followed by a change in the movement of the boat.
“Are you awake?” I said, shaking him gently. “I think we're going back to shore now. Phil?”
He was half asleep and looked up at me, his eyes dreamy a serene.
“I wish we didn't have to go back,” he said.
He held my hand tight, his fingers gripping mine.
“I wish we never had to move.”
I close my eyes and felt the smoothness of his skin. More than anything, I wanted to tell him that I loved him again, but something held me back.
“Lizzie,” he said.
A look of worry came over his face.
“There was really something I wanted to tell.”
His eyes couldn't meet mine.
“What is it?” I asked. “You can tell me anything.”
He sat up, smoothed back his hair and pulled the covers around himself.
“Listen,” he said.
“Lizzie!” came a voice, “Lizzie, are you in there?”
A violent knocking thumped at the door.
“Lizzie I've been looking everywhere for you. We'll be docking in like five minutes.
Christy's voice filled the room, an instant mood killer.
“I'll be right out,” I said and scrambled for my clothes.
Phil
For Christ's sake how can this still be happening? It's like there's a curse on me on or something.
Literally every time I tried to tell her, something happened. The next time I opened my mouth I'd probably get struck by a bolt of lightning.
We were approaching the harbor now with everyone bleary-eyed on deck. Some folk were still drunk while others were in the early stages of a hangover.
As I took in the sight of the harbor, I could feel the heat of someone staring at me. I turned round and saw Adam looking right at me. It was as though he just knew what we had done. Not that it was any of his business. Although I wasn't prone to pettiness, I had to admit to myself that it gave me a strange sense of pride to know he couldn't have her and I could. She stood beside me now, head on my shoulder and one arm around my waist. There was a calm look on her face as the lights from the shore twinkled in her eyes.
“Who are all those people?” she asked.
“What people?”
I could just about make out a group of guys clubbed around the palm trees. Some had their phones out while others were supporting large cameras with long telescopic lenses.
“Shit,” I said. “No way!”
“What?”
“Paparazzi...”
“Why would they be here? Oh, I bet it's because of that film director everyone's been seeing.”
I just hoped to God that was the case.
As we glided into the harbor, and at last the constant swaying of the boat subsided, people staggered back onto land, some excited by the paparazzi, some too drunk to notice.
I had to think of my next move. Sunglasses could help, or they might prove tricky in the darkness. I fumbled for them in my pocket, but found that they weren't there.
Crap. What am I supposed to do now?
“Come on,” said Lizzie, pulling me by the hand.
“Just give me a minute.”
Adam was still behind us, still staring. It was now just the three of us on board and I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Paparazzi on one side and Adam on the other.
What does he want? Why does he keep staring at me like that?
To my relief, a small dinghy appeared at the side of the yacht. Jet black and barely visible, it contained the dark figures of Stephen and the team. They were crouched low by the rocks and I caught Stephen's attention. He gave me a thumbs up and his usual cheesy smile.
“Who are those guys on the boat?” asked Lizzie. “There's just so many strange people around tonight.”
She was still pulling me by the hand, but I wouldn't budge. Behind me, Adam's eyes still burned into the back of my head. I looked around at him and saw he was angrier than ever. It was hard to see how she ever found him attractive. He may have had some money, may have looked flash to some girls but it only took a look beneath the surface to know what kind of insidious selfish creature he really was you.
I didn't know what possessed me to do it. Maybe I childishly just wanted to wind him up or perhaps I wanted to prove a bigger point, but I found myself pulling her towards me possessively taking one last look at him and giving him a cheeky wink.
The result was just what I wanted. He instantly grew enraged, his hands immediately turning to fists as his eyes blazed.
“Asshole!” he said, his jaw clenched tight.
Stephen and the team were watching us intently, but so were the team of paparazzi
I laughed in Adam's face, and that made him mad as hell. Before I knew it, he grabbed me by the scruff of my neck, and that was when all hell broke loose.
Before I could even react, Stephen and the team were on board. A scuffle broke out, limbs flying everywhere as Lizzy screamed. Before I knew it, there were the blinding flashes of cameras illumina
ting the night like flashes of lightning.
“It's okay, we've got you, Your Highness,” said Dylan.
He grabbed me by my arms and pulled me off the birth.
“Get Lizzie!” I said.
She was staring blankly at us, her eyes growing wider and wider.
“Your Highness?” she asked, a look of confusion and realization sweeping over her face.
“You son of a bitch,” yelled Adam.
Once again, I watched as he was dragged away by my team.
“What's going on?” screamed Lizzie.
The confusion on her face and the look of fear that crossed her eyes made me feel terrible, but I couldn't do anything because I was also being dragged away. Paparazzi were all around us, the light from their flashes blinding my eyes. I tried to cover my face with my hands but it was no good.
“Prince Philip! Prince Philip!” they yelled.
“Is this your girlfriend?”
“Where have you been tonight?”
“Were you ever in love with Bibi?”
“How long are you going to live on the island?”
“What have you got to say about the sex club?”
“Prince Philip tell us more about the sex scandal?”
“Is it true you're in exile?”
The questions were peppered at me too fast to process. The last thing I remembered was the feeling of being pushed into a blacked out Mercedes and being pressed down into the back seat by Stephen.
“Fucking parasites,” he said. “I hate those fucking paparazzi.”
* * *
I was in my room, lying in bed staring at the clock, but I wasn't tired. If anything I was wired to the moon. Stephen and Dylan were snoozing soundly in the armchairs by the door. It always astounded me how they could sleep through anything.
Trying to steady my nerves with a scotch and soda, I sat on the edge of the bed and thought over everything that had happened. My mind took me back to Lizzie's body beneath mine as the rock of the boat matched our steady rhythm. I thought about the noise she made as she's sunk her teeth into my chest. I raised a hand to my pec and felt it was still tender.
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