It's Ilford's voice that wakes her up. The smell in the air whets her appetite, her now empty stomach growling, but as she sits up and looks over to the fire, she sees the roasted rabbit, and her appetite is gone.
SEVENTEEN
Over the next few days, Euodia avoids meat, even fish. She just can't stomach it, but she hopes this isn't a permanent change because she's always loved a well-cooked chicken. Ailie is the only one she talks to about it openly, and Ailie tells her that there are several people in the community who don't eat meat and she should talk to them to learn about where they get their protein. After a while though, a few of the others start to notice.
Thackery is sitting with them one day and brings it up. "I noticed you cut back on your meat. Oburn's a vegetarian, and I know he'd be willing to talk to you about it."
Ilford pipes up with his usual careless nature. "Because of the rabbit?"
Hana chimes in as she puts down her plate and squeezes in next to him. "What rabbit?"
"Well the other day, Euodia was helping—Ow!" Ilford is rubbing his knee under the table and looking at Ailie.
Ailie looks around at her friends. She takes Euodia's hand under the table. "It was a rough day." Her tone is clear. The subject is to be dropped.
While no one says anything outright, Euodia feels scrutinized. She decides to try to smooth things over. Besides, if Ilford knows the embarrassing story, the whole group soon will anyway. "Let's just say that I really understand where our meat comes from now, and it's spoiled it for me for the time being." There are snickers around the table. They may not know the whole story, but they get the gist.
The subject turns to Ilford's freshly bruised knee. "I'm sure Hana wouldn't mind kissing it better for you." Henley smacks Thackery on the back of the head as he starts laughing at his own joke. They all know the two are a couple, but nothing official has been said. Hana and Ilford don't look upset, but they stay still for a minute like they're waiting. Then Ilford looks to Auston and Hana looks to Ailie and they start to laugh. The whole table joins in, and as it starts to quiet down, Thackery leans into Ilford, but he's loud enough for everyone to hear. "Those older women, though, am I right?"
Euodia hadn't realized that Henley was older than Thackery. It couldn't be by much, and it obviously isn't a sore point. Henley leans into Thackery's shoulders in a slightly admonishing manner, but the smile on her lips says it's all just play. Euodia thinks through the math as the group continues their conversation. She hadn't thought about it, but there's a five-year gap between Hana and Ilford.
When she looks over to Ailie, she's laughing along with the others as Ilford and Hana defend themselves against the proposed impropriety of it all. Thackery says he's got Ilford's back, and Euodia speaks up. "I'm right there with you boys." The table quietens quickly. At first, she thinks this is just because she doesn't speak too often, but she turns to Ailie and she sees her lip quiver. Then she realizes they've acknowledged their relationship less in public than Ilford and Hana have. "She may only be a year older," Euodia reaches up and brushes the hair across Ailie's forehead back behind her ear, "But my what that year has done for her."
There are tears welling up in Ailie's eyes now, and her cheeks are shining with smile. Thackery starts a low chant. "Kiss her. Kiss her." Ilford is quick to chime in, and after a beat the rest of the group joins in. Ailie raises her eyebrows. It's a dare. It tells Euodia that she started this and asks her how far she is willing to take it. Euodia loops her arms around Ailie's neck and leans into the kiss. The group around them cheers.
It's only when Euodia pulls back that she sees Broderick standing in the aisle, watching them. Euodia can't help but let her lips curl up in a little smile, and as he turns to walk away, she turns back to her friends and puts her arm around Ailie.
EIGHTEEN
The dining hall is crowded when Euodia and Ailie walk in. As they move forward with the group, they see Norten refilling a large bowl of eggs from his skillet and ask him what's going on. He's out of breath from running things to and from the kitchen. "Jenson is sick, so we're understaffed."
"Can we help?" Ailie asks.
"We could use some help with dishes after?" He says it as a question, letting them know with his tone that it isn't expected but would be appreciated. They both have the day off, so they tell him they'll be back after they eat.
When they head back to the kitchens, the dining hall is beginning to empty out and the kitchen workers are sitting down to eat. Euodia is stacking dirty dishes while Ailie soaps the water when Jin walks in. The door is open, giving Euodia a clear view as he stops to talk to Norten and Vaness. Euodia picks up a towel and starts to dry the plates Ailie has cleaned. As she places a stack in the cupboard by the door, she lingers, listening to their conversation. They're talking about Jenson. He must have gotten very sick very quickly to need to stay with Jin and Manny. It sounds like Jenson is quickly getting worse. Manny keeps waiting for the fever to break, but it hasn't yet, and now Jenson complains of itching and pain. They're just trying to keep him hydrated and treating symptoms as they arise.
Euodia's taking too long to dry, and the sideboard is filling with clean dishes. Ailie turns to her, "You okay over there?" Euodia turns back to her work, and once the dishes are clean, dry, and safely put away, Euodia sees Vaness and Norten leaving, and runs to catch up with them. "I'd be happy to help out in the kitchen until Jenson is back on his feet."
"That'd be great," he says immediately, and Euodia smiles as kindly as she can, trying to hide the guilt she's feeling.
She turns to see Ailie standing there, a look of understanding on her face. "You'll still have to deal with meat in the kitchen." There's no judgment in her voice. She takes Euodia's hand and leans against her as they meander down the path.
"But I won't have to kill it." The others had seemed to understand her aversion at first, but as the weeks had progressed, and she had still not contributed meat in the same way that the rest of the scouts, she had felt a change in attitude, as if those around her thought she was slacking. She had begun to pick up extra shifts in the gardens and fields to make up for it and it was why she was offering to help Norten now. She didn't want people to think she wasn't contributing, but she'd vomited again when trying to gut a fish on her own a few days before. She'd been so embarrassed that she hadn't even told Ailie about it.
Ailie interrupts her thoughts as they approach the torch line. "I think I'll go forage for some nettles & witch hazel, see what I can find. I'm sure if Jenson is itching, Manny will be using it. You want to come?"
"I think I'll head on to Manny's and see if he needs any help there." It isn't the only reason she wants to go. There's something else that Euodia needs to do that she wants to do without Ailie. They stand there for a minute, both aware of the unspoken and waiting for the other to say it. Eventually, Euodia decides to keep the charade going. "So I'll see you in a bit."
"Yeah." There's definitely a curt tone in her voice as she turns to walk away.
Euodia walks towards Manny's knowing that she will have to deal with the fallout of that interaction at some point, but she needs more information first. She doesn't want to worry anyone if there isn't a need. Manny answers her knock, "Euodia, come in." He turns back to Jin. "I know that there's a chance it might backfire, but nothing else is working, and this is the only other thing I can think to try." Jin hugs Manny, whose arms hang limply by his side. His shoulders are hunched, and his head presses into Jin's chest.
Manny takes a deep breath here and turns back to his work table. When he speaks he sounds more casual. "Euodia, I heard things were busy at the dining hall this morning. It's amazing how little we know of what a person does until they're no longer there."
"Yeah, it seems like Jenson has become indispensable there. We got things done, but it definitely wasn't as smooth as usual." Euodia sits and tries to calm her own fears, but her nerves are showing as she fidgets her hands. "Ailie went to find some nettle and witch hazel in case you're
running low." Manny turns in her direction, but it's as if he's looking through her. After an awkward silence, she continues. "She thought that you might be using it for the itching."
"I haven't, but that's very kind." The second part of the sentence feels like an afterthought, as if he knows it's what he should say.
"How is he?" She's afraid to ask, but she must.
Manny looks to Jin, and then he speaks. "Birch tea seemed to be working fairly well, but we're running very low on leaves, and it will take time for more to dry as needed. One of the others is collecting some now." Names don't seem to be very important to Manny. He has plenty of other things to take up room in his head, but she can't help but wonder who it is, and whether or not they know how serious this may be. "I'm using ginseng for the inflammation, and valerian seems to help him sleep." He doesn't continue, seeming to have said everything that he has to say.
Euodia can't tell if they are all worried about the same thing. "Is there anything I can help with?"
"Not that I can think of at the moment." They're all sitting quietly, awkwardly, when Callie comes in. She doesn't knock, just opens the door and comes in, and Ailie is behind her. Manny and Euodia stand, and then Manny turns to Jin. "Would you mind getting me some bread from the kitchen?"
Jin looks around the room. He's no idiot either. "You have your little pow wow, but I want in on it when I get back." He kisses Manny on the cheek and heads out.
Callie starts speaking as soon as the door closes. "Do you know what he has?"
"I suspect." He says it quietly, and he isn't looking at anyone. When he does look up, he catches both Callie and Euodia in his gaze. "I imagine you do, too. Seems like the most likely reason for you to both be here."
Euodia turns to Ailie. "I thought you were foraging."
There is anger in Ailie's response, and fear, but she's trying to control it. "Callie didn't lie to me. This is a sickness from the city."
There's apology in Callie's eyes as Euodia looks to her, but it is a quiet, shallow apology. She obviously thinks that Ailie has a right to know. Manny responds quickly. "It might be. Let's not go shouting it unless we know for sure."
"What does it do? Is it contagious? Can you treat it?" Ailie's voice rises as she speaks, and she cuts herself off abruptly.
"I'm treating what I can. If it is what we think it is, then yes, it is contagious, and no, I can't cure it without medicine." Callie and Euodia already knew this, but they're just as quiet as Ailie, just as frightened to hear it out loud.
Each of them, stuck in their own memories, is pulled back by Ailie's question. "What do we do?"
They all look at each other. It is Callie, not Manny who finds her voice first. "For now, we stay quiet. We keep Jenson here and do what we can to help him get better. This may very well be something we can treat."
"And if it isn't?" Ailie always likes to have a plan.
Now it is Manny who answers, albeit vaguely. "If it isn't, then we'll just have to deal with it."
NINETEEN
Euodia's working her way through her kitchen chores, learning a little more every time she comes in to help out, which is almost daily. She knows she' s slower than the others as she learns the responsibilities and routines, so she offers to stay behind when most of the work is done. All that's really left to do is fold up the napkins. Thackery offers to stay with her, but he seems distracted. "Thackery, is everything okay?" Euodia asks.
He looks up, surprised. "It's just that Henley wasn't feeling well earlier." He looks around to be sure they're the last ones left. "I know we're all hoping it's not, but what if this is the same sleeping sickness we had years ago? What if it followed us from Dracon?"
Euodia finds herself looking around as well. She doesn't want to be the one to start a panic. "We don't know that. Jenson is old. It could be any number of things." He nods as he continues folding. "Why don't you go on home to Henley? I'll finish up here, and I'm sure she'll be fine."
He looks at the napkins still on the table and then around the room. "I wouldn't usually, but I'm worried." He only pauses for a minute to think about it. "Thanks."
"Go ahead. I'll be fine." He squeezes her hand before he stands up, but once he's up he doesn't waste any time getting out of there. His worry shows, and it heightens hers. She thinks about what to tell Ailie as she finishes folding the napkins and puts them out on the serving table for the next morning.
She unties her apron and puts it away before stepping out of the building. It's still light out. The summer sun keeps late hours.
A heavy thud makes her jump, the sound something large hitting the ground. She recovers quickly and turns to see Broderick standing there, a deer at his feet. Broderick's smile makes it clear he's noticed her discomfort.
"I'm sorry, Euodia. I didn't mean to startle you." He was lying, his tone almost mocking. "What are you doing here so late?"
She knows that he knows, but she plays along. "I'm helping out in the kitchen while Jenson is sick."
He feigns confusion. "Sorry about that. I thought you were on the hunting schedule today." They both know she was. And they both know she didn't go. He kneels down and ties up the deer's back legs. "You mind keeping her balanced while I pull her up?"
She knows he's hoping to goad her into a response, but if she's going to skip hunting duty, the least she can do is help the person who did bring something in. So she walks over to the deer, taking the front end opposite Broderick, looking into his eyes and hating that little smile on his lips.
He walks over to the rope tie and hauls her up, Euodia keeps the body from swaying too much. She feels fine, but he ties the deer up quickly, and before Euodia can move away he pulls his knife out and starts cutting into the skin of its belly
He's not looking at her, but she knows that Broderick knows she's watching. Where Ailie's method was smooth and gentle, respectful somehow, Broderick's is rushed and harsh. His lines are less defined, his precision less aware.
She's backing away without realizing it, and just as he reaches in to pull out the guts, she turns and walks away. She hears them slither to the ground behind her, and it her stomach churns. She heads towards the music barn where she's meant to meet Ailie and takes a moment outside to breathe.
When she feels a little better, she heads through to the open area in the back, watching people dance as Ailie plays. She's halfway through the next song when their eyes meet. Euodia still feels a little shaken, but those eyes convince her to smile, and she is thankful.
Ailie passes the guitar off after the next song and comes over. "What is it?"
Euodia had thought that she was holding it together, at least on the outside, but she doesn't see the point in lying. When she speaks, her voice is low. "I had a little run in with Broderick." She glances around as though Broderick might be nearby.
"Do you want to step outside with me?" Ailie asks.
Euodia nods and follows Ailie out. They stop at the sleeping cabin, grab two blankets, and head towards the edge of Solace. They pass Auston, and Ailie tells him they're going to the cave. The trees are dense and Euodia wishes she had both hands free to push branches back rather than one hand dedicated to the blanket that she isn't sure they'll need.
They've been quiet for most of the walk. They started going uphill pretty much as soon as they passed Auston, but the ground is evening out now. As they catch their breath, Ailie turns to her. "So, you want to tell me what happened?"
Euodia lays it out, focusing on the facts. She tells Ailie exactly what happened, and when she's done, Ailie is looking at her like she's waiting for more. "And then I came to meet up with you."
The path has opened up on the flatland, and they're walking side by side. Ailie looks back to the path before speaking again. "I'm not saying that what he did was okay, but do you know why it bothered you so much? You were pale when I saw you."
"I'm always pale."
"This was different. It was like if I went pale." Euodia looks at Ailie's skin, tanned from so mu
ch time spent in the sun. Euodia wonders what it will look like in winter. "You're not even that pale when you vomit."
Euodia hates that Ailie has seen her vomit. She looks back up to Ailie's face and sees that she's just trying to help. "It bothered me because he's right." Euodia has been thinking it for a few minutes, but it feels even worse to say it out loud.
Ailie stops walking to turn to Euodia. "What?"
"I should be able to do this. Everyone else can do this." She feels tears well up in her eyes and she finds herself rambling to hold them at bay. "No one else has the problem that I have with meat, and it's not even a moral thing. I think it's fine for us to eat meat, I'm just squeamish. I just can't eat it without thinking of the blood when it's fresh. It's not even the killing. It's just the body, and if I can't even do this, how am I supposed to help Solace? How am I supposed to take care of you?"
She stops when she hears the last words escape her mouth. There are tears in her eyes, blurring her vision, but they don't fall. She looks up, hoping that Ailie will be smiling, but instead she looks concerned. Ailie turns and starts to walk again. She doesn't speak. Euodia is learning to be patient when Ailie needs a minute to put her words together.
After a few feet, Ailie turns back around. "First off, I can provide for myself. You know that. Secondly, no one has a problem with you being squeamish." She stops Euodia before she can correct her. "Except Broderick, who is a ridiculous ass. Thirdly, you were assigned to the scouts because Lorna thought it would be a good fit, and honestly because she thought we would be a good fit. She likes to play matchmaker, and just because she was right on one front doesn't mean she has to be right on both. You should be assigned where you can best serve, and if that's not hunting, there's nothing wrong with that."
One tear slips down Euodia's cheek and glides down to her smile. Ailie isn't angry with her. Euodia feels protected, and the feeling only increases when Ailie reaches out to rub the tear from her cheek. She wants to thank her and plan a future and explain every feeling crossing her heart, but she can't calm her brain enough to get the words together, so instead she says just one thing: "I love you."
Her of the Wood Page 11
