But today there were to be no arguments.
‘There you are, my pet,’ she said, giving Joanne a bottle of diluted orange drink. ‘Your nana would say you had to drink it from a cup, but you’re much happier with your bottle, aren’t you?’
Joanne smiled and happily glugged away at her orange.
‘You’re a good little mum,’ Victor said, smiling at the baby. ‘Your mum would of been proud of you.’
‘Mum wanted me to stay at school and get a good job before I got married,’ Scarlett said sadly.
‘Ah, but she would of loved being a granny. She loved kiddies. Wanted more herself, but it wasn’t to be.’
‘Pity,’ Scarlett said.
How much easier it would have been if she’d had a brother or sister to share the burden of caring for her father. They were both silent for a few moments, remembering the woman they had loved so much.
‘We don’t see much of that friend of yours nowadays. What’s-her-name? Brenda,’ Victor said.
‘No. She’s got other things to do.’
She had hardly seen Brenda since Joanne had been born. Brenda wanted someone to go out dancing and chasing boys with, and clearly Scarlett was no use for that any more, so other girls had taken her place as Brenda’s best friend. And then, when she did come round, either Joanne was making a fuss or Victor was drunk or Ricky was arguing about something, so it wasn’t a very welcoming atmosphere. Scarlett missed the hours of talking about pop stars and records and films, and the gossip about who was going out with whom.
Joanne dropped her bottle and got to her feet, using Scarlett as a steadying post. Scarlett and Victor watched with pride as she toddled off the blanket, tripped on a tussock of grass, picked herself up and stumped off towards the old Anderson shelter.
‘She’s a grand little kiddie, isn’t she?’ Victor remarked.
Scarlett heaved herself to her feet and went to rescue her before she fell in the stinging nettles. As she did so, she felt a nagging pain in her back.
‘Oh, God,’ she said.
‘You all right, love?’
‘Yes.’
She knew just what it was. It was a week or so early, but the pain was unlike any other. She waited to see whether it was just a twinge or the real thing. By midday she was sure. They were coming every fifteen minutes.
‘I’ve got to get moving,’ she said.
‘What?’ Victor was dozing in the sunshine.
‘Got to get Joanne round to the Harringtons’. Good thing I got everything packed the other day.’
She had it all planned out. Much as she disliked having to do so, she had arranged to leave Joanne with her mother-in-law while she was in hospital. She looked at Victor. How nice it would be if she could trust him to take Joanne to her nana’s while she waited for the taxi. As it was, Victor needed looking after himself. She was afraid that if Ricky came home and found him dead drunk, he would turn him out. She heaved Joanne and her things into the pram, together with her hospital bag.
‘You’ll be sure to get yourself up and out tomorrow morning, won’t you, Dad?’
‘What? Are you off somewhere? What’s happening?’
Scarlett groaned with exasperation. ‘The baby’s coming, Dad. I’ve got to get to hospital.’
Victor finally realised what was going on. He got up and held her. ‘Good luck, my darling. You just get on with what you got to do. Don’t you worry about me, I’ll be just fine.’
Scarlett knew just what would happen the moment her back was turned. He would take whatever booze he had hidden about the place out into the garden and quietly drink himself senseless.
‘You’ll make sure you eat properly, won’t you? There’s milk and cereals and beans and bread. You can manage those all right.’
‘Yes, yes, don’t worry. Now, off you go.’
He was looking distinctly nervous. Scarlett guessed he was afraid she might give birth then and there. She gave him a kiss and set off, not without misgivings, but right now she had to leave him to his own devices. She had more urgent matters to take care of.
Even in this extremity, Ricky’s mum was less than delighted to see her.
‘I thought you had another couple of weeks. I’ve got my Mothers’ Union meeting this afternoon and you know I don’t like to miss it. Still, these things were sent to try us, I suppose. You’d better sit down. I’ll go next door and see if I can use their phone, seeing as it’s an emergency.’
Scarlett collapsed into the nearest chair and doubled over as a contraction gripped her. Thankfully, the taxi that Mrs Harrington had phoned for was quick to arrive. Her mother-in-law gave her an exasperated look.
‘Have you got enough money for the fare?’
Scarlett shook her head. Mrs Harrington sighed dramatically and pressed two half crowns into her hand. Joanne clung to her mother, wailing, but Mrs Harrington peeled her off.
‘That’s quite enough fuss from you. You’ve got to learn to behave yourself, young lady,’ she said, holding onto the struggling toddler. ‘When Mummy comes back, she’ll have more than enough to cope with, without you playing up.’
Scarlett felt as if she were being torn in half. She had to go to hospital, but she hated leaving Joanne with this woman.
‘Be kind to her, please,’ she begged as she plumped down on the back seat of the taxi. ‘And you will tell Ricky what’s happened when he comes home?’
She couldn’t be sure that the message would get through from her father.
‘Of course I will. Whatever do you take me for?’ Mrs Harrington asked, speaking loudly over Joanne’s screams.
Scarlett worried all the way to the hospital. But, by the time she got to the maternity ward, things were so far advanced that she had to leave it all behind her. The midwife scolded her for leaving it so late, got her into a gown and rushed her straight into the labour ward. By eight o’clock that evening, baby Simon was born.
At evening visiting time the next day, Mr and Mrs Harrington arrived with Joanne, a card and a bunch of carnations. Mrs Harrington, in full grandmother mode, bent over the bassinet to admire her new grandson.
‘Isn’t he just beautiful? What a lot of hair! Is he feeding yet?’
Scarlett answered all the usual questions and gave Joanne lots of attention. It was strange how huge Joanne seemed now. She had always thought of her as a baby, but now she was the big sister. What with coping with her and replying to all Mrs Harrington’s ideas as to who the baby looked like, it was a while before she could ask about what was worrying her.
‘Does Ricky know?’
All down the long ward, other mothers had their husbands with them, except for one poor unfortunate unmarried mother who only had a couple of friends to support her.
‘Oh…well…it’s difficult to contact him, you know. That relative of Brian’s they’re staying with isn’t on the telephone, and of course we aren’t either, as you know. He’ll be back tonight, so he’ll find out then,’ his mother said. ‘Now, we mustn’t tire you. You’ve got to get your rest and get better, so I think we’ll run along now.’
There was a big drama from Joanne, who didn’t want to be parted from her mother, and then they were gone, leaving Scarlett feeling uneasy. Why did Ricky have to go away just when she needed him? He ought to be here.
The next day Mrs Harrington came in the afternoon without her husband.
‘Is Ricky coming this evening?’ Scarlett asked.
‘Oh, yes, I’m sure he will,’ Mrs Harrington replied. ‘Joanne’s been such a good girl, haven’t you, darling? She’s eaten up all her dinner for Nana and she slept really well last night and didn’t wake Nana up till nearly seven this morning.’
‘Oh, good. That’s nice. So Ricky knows about the baby, does he?’
‘Oh, yes. And she sat on her potty like a good girl. That’s splendid, isn’t it? You want to get her trained as soon as possible. Washing two lots of nappies is going to be a handful.’
Mrs Harrington chattered on, relating eve
ry minute detail of Joanne’s behaviour. Scarlett was relieved to hear that she was not pining too much and even let herself get sidetracked into discussing the merits of different brands of teething rusks, but she still hadn’t had a straight answer to her question about Ricky.
‘Nana, when did you speak to Ricky?’
Mrs Harrington looked flustered. ‘Well, dear, I haven’t actually spoken to him as such.’
Scarlett’s head felt like cotton wool. Something wasn’t making sense here.
‘But he is home, isn’t he?’
When he got home last night and found that she and Joanne weren’t there, he would have guessed what had happened and gone round to get the news from his parents, even if he didn’t ask her father.
‘Well…er…’ Mrs Harrington looked acutely uncomfortable. She took refuge in speaking to Joanne rather than Scarlett. ‘Daddy’s not actually back yet, is he, darling? But I’m sure he will be soon.’
‘He was only supposed to be away for one night!’ Scarlett cried.
‘Well…yes…but I suppose he must have got held up somewhere. He’ll be back this evening, don’t you worry.’
Scarlett had to be content with that.
By Saturday, Scarlett had reached the tearful stage and Mrs Harrington had run out of excuses. Ricky had not been home, nor had he visited his parents, nor had he been to work. Mrs Harrington sat on the hard chair by Scarlett’s bed and wrung her hands.
‘I don’t know what’s happened to him! I sent George round to Brian’s and Alan’s parents’ houses, and they’re back, but Ricky isn’t.’
‘But don’t they know where he is?’ Scarlett cried.
Mrs Harrington shook her head. ‘Some man came to see them play on Wednesday evening, and he and Ricky went to a coffee bar together afterwards. The others waited and waited for him, then they came home to Southend, and they say Ricky turned up at about three in the morning at Brian’s cousin’s house and got his case and went with this man. He wouldn’t tell Brian’s cousin where he was going, just that he was going to…to…what did he say? Hit the big time. That was it. Hit the big time. Brian seemed a bit cut up about it.’
Scarlett had no time for Brian’s problems. ‘But he will be coming back, won’t he?’ she asked, in between sobs.
Mrs Harrington was almost as upset as she was. For once they were in accord. ‘Of course he will, dear. Of course he will,’ she said, tears starting in her eyes.
Joanne, finding herself ignored in this crisis, started wailing as well. Scarlett cuddled her close and laid her cheek on her dark hair. It was some comfort to hold her small body, but not enough to quiet the fears that were multiplying inside her.
Brenda came to see her, bearing flowers, grapes and a blue matinee jacket.
‘What do you mean, disappeared?’ she asked, when told about Ricky.
‘He was supposed to be playing in London somewhere on Tuesday evening and somewhere else on Wednesday evening, and come home Wednesday night, but instead he went off with some man who came to see them play and no one’s heard of him since.’
‘Oh, he’ll be back,’ Brenda said. She sat on the bed and put her arms round Scarlett. ‘Hey, what’s all this crying about? You’re usually the brave one.’
‘I’m sorry, I c-can’t help it,’ Scarlett sobbed. ‘What am I going to do if he doesn’t come back? What are the babies going to do without a dad?’
‘He’ll be home. He’s got to come home, he can’t just go off like that,’ Brenda said.
Scarlett managed to get the better of her tears. She was so pleased to see her friend again. Brenda was the only person she could open her heart to, and she needed to talk.
‘I don’t love him, you know,’ she confessed. ‘Not the way I loved—love—Jonathan. Not at all, really. But I need him. The children need a father. We need someone to pay the rent. If I’m left with two babies and my dad to look after, what am I going to do? I can’t leave them and go back to factory work, and I can’t take them with me. How are we going to live?’
‘You’ll have to go on the dole, like my mum did,’ Brenda said. ‘It ain’t much, but you won’t starve. But it won’t come to that. Come on, cheer up. He’ll be in here with a big grin and a bunch of flowers and you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.’
‘I hope you’re right,’ Scarlett said.
By the time she was due to leave hospital the following Friday she was rested and recovered physically, but in a state of emotional turmoil. Ricky was still away. Nobody had heard from him—not his parents, nor his friends, nor his workplace. Victor organised himself enough to take the long bus ride out to the hospital and confirmed that Ricky had not been home and hadn’t so much as written a note of explanation.
‘Do you want to come back to our house, just until Ricky gets back?’ Mrs Harrington asked when she came to meet Scarlett and take her home.
‘No, thank you. I want to be there when he arrives,’ Scarlett said. What she didn’t admit was that she couldn’t possibly leave her father any longer. He had been ten days on his own now. She doubted if he’d had a proper meal in all that time.
She sat in the back seat of the taxi with Joanne trampling her lap and wound round her neck while Nana held her new grandson. It was wonderful to be with Joanne again. She had missed her terribly in hospital. But everything else about her situation filled her with trepidation. Ricky had to come home. He had to.
At the door of the flat she hesitated. She couldn’t possibly invite Ricky’s mother in. God knew what sort of a mess the place was in. She leaned forward and made herself kiss her mother-in-law on the cheek.
‘Thanks ever so much for all your help, Nana. I don’t know what I would of done without you.’
Which was perfectly true.
It took a bit more before Mrs Harrington took the hint, but in the end she put Scarlett’s case inside the door and handed her the baby.
‘You know where I am if you need me,’ she said.
Scarlett could tell from her voice that she had taken offence, but there was no helping that. She just couldn’t let her in.
‘Thanks,’ she said again.
What with having a new baby, Ricky disappearing, not knowing how her father was and now her mother-in-law looking hurt and upset, Scarlett felt as if her head would burst. It was all too much. But she did have to stay on the right side of Ricky’s mum.
Joanne was already toddling into the hall. Scarlett had a brainwave.
‘Come here, darling. Say goodbye to Nana.’
For once, Joanne responded and came back to her. Scarlett squatted with the baby still in one arm and put the other round Joanne.
‘Thank Nana for all she’s done, looking after you.’
The little girl looked up at her grandmother. ‘Nannan,’ she said obligingly.
Mrs Harrington softened.
‘It’s been lovely having you, darling. A real pleasure.’ She looked at Scarlett. ‘Ricky was lovely at this age.’
What a pity he had changed so much.
The thought was so strong that Scarlett wasn’t sure whether she had said it out loud or not. She glanced at Mrs Harrington. She was still smiling at Joanne, who was now hanging onto Scarlett’s coat like grim death.
‘I’m sure he must have been,’ she managed to say.
She finally closed the door on her mother-in-law and carried baby Simon into the living room. The place reeked of stale drink and ashtrays. Dirty plates, cups and glasses stood on the floor and furniture, some of the cups with mould growing in them, all with fag-ends piled up on them. An old pair of shoes and a dirty shirt had been left in the middle of the floor along with an untidy pile of newspapers.
For a long moment, Scarlett just stood and stared at it all. It was all so disgusting. Then Joanne went toddling over to the nearest cup and started investigating it. Scarlett clicked into action, snatching it out of her hand.
‘No, darling. Dirty.’
Joanne squawked in protest.
‘We’
d better get all this mess cleared up. No one else is going to do it,’ Scarlett told her.
She laid the baby down in the pram, opened the windows to let some fresh air in and went to see if her father was still in his room. He wasn’t, though the room was even worse than the living room.
‘Well, at least he’s gone to work. That’s one good thing,’ Scarlett said.
She was only halfway through setting things to rights when Simon woke up hungry. Scarlett put Joanne in the playpen, where she threw a tantrum, and sat down on the newly swept sofa to feed the baby. Weariness flooded over her.
‘Not much of a start for you, is it, baby?’ she said to Simon, as he champed greedily at her breast. ‘You’ve got a home that stinks worse than a pub on a Sunday morning and a dad who’s done a bunk. I wonder if he’s ever coming home?’
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
TWO weeks after she returned home with Simon, Scarlett was still waiting for Ricky to appear. And the rent was overdue. There was only one thing for it—she would have to swallow her pride and borrow it from Ricky’s parents.
‘Just until he comes back,’ she explained to them.
If she had been expecting trouble, she was pleasantly surprised. Mr Harrington immediately reached into his jacket pocket for his wallet and handed her two five pound notes.
‘Get y’self up-to-date. You never ought to get behindhand with your rent. That’s your roof over your head, that is,’ he told her. ‘We don’t want Richard to come back and find he hasn’t got a home any more.’
‘I know,’ Scarlett said dutifully. ‘That’s why I was so worried about it.’
‘I don’t know what Richard’s playing at, going off like this. It’s not what he’s been brought up to do, I can tell you that.’
Bye Bye Love Page 22
