by Lexi Blake
“I’m not angry,” she said as flippantly as she could. “I’m trying to catch the CIA dude before he turns in. He’s bunking down in the clinic. I thought he might want an upgrade.”
She wasn’t going to look for Ezra Fain. The last thing she needed was a casual hookup. God knew she’d had more than enough of those in her life. Except those hadn’t been casual. Those nights hadn’t even been about sex. They’d been about obliterating herself.
No, she would go to her cabin and cry and sleep, and in the morning, she would work and begin to forget him.
She started out the door but then felt a hand at her wrist, dragging her back.
Brody’s eyes had narrowed, his face turning hard when it was always soft around her. It didn’t make him any less beautiful. If anything, that hard edge sent a thrill through her. “What did you say?”
Her first instinct was to drop to her knees and beg his forgiveness, but he didn’t want that. He’d rejected that part of her. So he got the inner tough chick, the part of her that kept on surviving. “I said, I’m going to check and see if Ezra needs some company since you don’t want any.”
The door slammed and she suddenly found herself with her back against it. Brody crowded in, taking up all the space and staring down at her. His body brushed hers and she found both her wrists captured in one of his. He dragged them over her head, forcing her chest to come out, breasts skimming along his body. “I shouldn’t do this.”
Tough chick was winning. Steph let her take over. It was surely better than the desperate girl who lived inside her. She kept asking for love and affection and getting swatted away. This was the next best thing, possibly the only thing she would ever get. “Then don’t. Let me go and I won’t bother you again.”
“No, you’ll go find Ezra Fain and bother him,” Brody said on a growl.
“Somehow, I don’t think he’ll find me a bother.” She’d barely spoken two words to the man, but she wasn’t going to admit it. It was better to let Brody think she wasn’t a love-starved girl.
“He won’t fucking find you anything at all. If you’re determined to not sleep alone tonight, you can damn well do it with me.” His mouth came down on hers and every inch of her skin came alive. His kiss was overwhelming, hungry. There was no slow meshing of mouths. He took her, his tongue surging inside and dominating her own. He let go of her hands and started to explore her body. His hands were on her hips when he came up for air. “I’m leaving in the morning. I’m going back to London and I can’t come back.”
She’d known that would probably be his answer. She’d known he wouldn’t want to stay and she couldn’t leave.
“One night. That’s all I want.” It was all she could have. It had been foolish to think it could be any different.
His mouth came down on hers again and she let herself get swept away. One night and her life would go back to normal. One night and then she would be alone again. His hands started to roam over her and she tried to forget all the reasons why this was a bad idea.
He stepped back, his entire body set in hard lines. He strode over to the bed and sat down. “Take off the gown. It’s pretty, but I want to see you.”
She hesitated, all her insecurities coming to the forefront. Somehow, she’d thought he would simply take her. “Let me get the lights.”
He was back in her space again, his hand wrapping around her wrist. “I didn’t say turn off the lights. I said take off the gown. How am I going to see you if you turn off the lights?”
“Brody,” she began.
He was having none of it. “You got on your knees in front of me and you said you knew what you were offering me. The first thing you were offering me was obedience. The second was your body. You’re giving me neither right now.”
His voice had gone midnight dark and something about the tone made her soften. He was right. She did know what she’d offered him and now she was trying to have it all her way.
There was nothing wrong with her body. It was feminine and she was healthy. What was she afraid of? “All right.”
He let go of her wrist and sat back down, looking like a damn king waiting on his concubine’s performance. For all his “I’m nothing but a grunt” talk, the man could be incredibly arrogant, and damn if she didn’t find it sexy as hell.
Something about that voice let her know that everything was going to be fine. He was past the point of rejection. He was in and that meant he would play her Dom for the night. He would take care of her. She was as safe with him in the bedroom as she’d been in the field.
At least she was safe for the night. In the morning she would be in a world of hurt, but she wasn’t thinking past tonight.
Steph eased the strap on her right shoulder down, exposing more skin and the top of her breasts. Brody sat and watched, his eyes latched onto the scene in front of him. He wasn’t going anywhere and that meant she needed to make the most of this because he would leave in the morning.
Unless she gave him a reason to stay. Deep down, that was what she truly wanted.
She eased the other strap off and let the gown fall to the floor. Cool air caressed her skin, and she could feel her nipples tighten.
He was silent for a moment, staring at her, but she could feel the heat coming off him. The khakis he wore had tented, so she let go of any silly notion that he didn’t want sex. He wanted it bad, and it was there in the hot glare of his eyes, the rigid erection that threatened to split his pants.
Her heart was beating, sounding out a rhythm she hadn’t heard or felt in forever.
“Come here.” He shifted, spreading his legs and gesturing for her to come closer.
She moved, her feet shuffling across the wooden floor of the cabin. In the soft glow of the lamp, she could almost believe they were somewhere else, in some grand hotel room getting ready to celebrate their…what would they ever celebrate? She let the thought go. There was only the here and the now.
Even seated, his gaze almost lined up with hers. She only had to look down slightly. He was such a big man and she’d always longed to get her hands on all that muscled strength, to feel his skin under hers. But it would have to wait because she was going to be a good sub. It might be her only chance at experiencing this kind of kink, and she wasn’t going to ruin it by going too fast for him. She stood there, allowing him to look his fill.
After a long moment, one hand came up. He covered her breast, the heat making her swell against that big palm of his.
“You’re every bit as beautiful as I thought you’d be.” His voice was a harsh whisper, as though he was trying to be soft with her but simply couldn’t manage it. “I knew you’d be delicate and feminine.”
“I’m not delicate, Brody.” She knew far too well how much damage her body could take. “I don’t need you to treat me like I’m made of glass. I need you to remind me that I’m a woman. I sometimes forget. I can be out in the field for weeks at a time and I don’t even touch myself. I want you to touch me, to let me feel like I’m more than just a doctor.”
It was the one thing she would get out of the night, the memory that once a man as strong and fierce as Brody Carter had wanted her, had needed her.
He leaned over and she felt his lips on her skin, soft kisses that moved from one breast to the other. His hands circled her waist, holding her in place as he nuzzled her. He seemed to breathe her in. She was sure he would take her nipple into his mouth, but then he sat back.
“Turn around.”
Like she was moving in a decadent dream, she found herself responding without real thought. She let all rational thinking go. This was about feeling. This was physical, and her body was oftentimes far smarter than her brain. Steph turned, the air soft around her.
“Yes, you’re as lovely from the back as you are the front.”
She felt him move behind her, shifting her forward as he stood. His heavy boots thudded against the floor as he circled her.
“I can be rough, Steph,” he said. He finished his circle a
nd stood behind her, one big finger tracing her spine. “I like things that might scare you.”
Like spankings and floggings and kinky sex. “I think I’m weirder than you give me credit for.”
He chuckled at that. “All right, let’s see how much you can take. Undress me.”
She could totally do that. She’d dreamed of that every night for the last six months. Sometimes he would walk around without his shirt on and the sight of his cut chest was enough to make her drool. She wanted to see every inch of his masculine body.
She turned and realized why it was incredibly intimidating. She was already naked and he was standing there staring at her, fully dressed. It was odd to undress another human being.
He reached out and his hand went for her breast. He took her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She went still, giving over to the sensation of having him touch her.
And then he twisted her nipple, the pain sparking suddenly and making her gasp.
“I said undress me. Did you not understand the command?”
Her eyes had watered at the pain, but it had also shot straight to her pussy. She’d felt that hard twist of his fingers in her womb.
Steph bit her bottom lip before sliding her tongue along it. Her mouth had gone dry. Likely because all the moisture in her body had pooled in her pussy. She could feel how wet she was getting and he’d barely touched her. She found the buttons on his shirt and started undoing them, peeling back the cotton to uncover all that soft skin. Every inch was a revelation. She eased the shirt back and let her palms rest on his chest. He had a light dusting of hair that made him all the more manly. It was neat, forming a triangle that led down to a thin line of hair disappearing into his khakis.
“Get down on your knees and undo my belt,” he commanded. He quickly leaned over and hauled his boots off his feet, tossing them along with his socks into the corner.
Steph dropped down in front of him, his height so much more imposing from here. She looked up the length of his body and realized how small she was compared to him. It did something for her.
Her hand went to the buckle of his belt and she undid it. What would it feel like if he used it on her? A vision of her leaning over and taking his discipline assaulted her brain, making her heart race.
She’d read way too many books.
Then she didn’t care because all she could think about was the monster in front of her. Brody’s cock was built on the same lines as the man himself, and it wasn’t waiting for her to politely help him out of his boxers. His cock was poking out of the top as though desperate to get to her.
He stared down at her, his eyes dark as she eased him out of the boxers and khakis.
She folded them and placed them aside and sat back on her heels, waiting for his next command.
If she only had one night with him, she intended to do it right.
She knew in that instant that she might be able to fool Brody Carter, but she couldn’t fool herself. She was in love with this man and she might always be.
She placed her hands palms up on her thighs, her body throbbing in anticipation of what came next.
* * * *
Brody looked down at her. She was the perfect picture of submission, but he knew he’d been had. She’d set him up because she wanted this night, probably more.
He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it to her. He wasn’t good enough. She had the whole world in front of her and she would grow bored with an Army grunt. At some point, she would stop punishing herself for the sins of her past and get on with her life. He wasn’t going to be one more way she hurt herself.
But he couldn’t turn away from her. He’d tried. He’d done his best, but now that she was naked and kneeling, he realized this had been inevitable from the start.
If he thought about it, why the hell hadn’t he packed up and been ready to go this afternoon? He’d known one way or another the job would be over today, but when he’d gotten ready to go to the hangar where they were supposed to meet McDonald, he’d left his duffel behind. Even as he’d allowed O’Donnell to drive her back to the clinic, he’d known he would spend one last night here. Taggart had offered him a hotel room and he’d given Brody a long look when he’d turned it down.
They’d all known what he was coming back for.
“Touch me.” He wanted to feel her hands on him. How many nights had he sat up and wanked his own dick, wishing it had been her small hands on him? Her exceedingly competent hands. He was fascinated with them. They weren’t painted and taken care of the way other ladies’ were. Steph used her hands every day. She washed them a hundred times after she sewed a cut closed or took out an appendix. He’d seen women with sexy nails and baby-soft skin, but it was Steph’s hands he wanted on his body.
She looked at him like she was ready to eat him up, her tongue darting across her lower lip and making his body tighten with pure lust. Her hand reached up and gripped his cock and he had to force himself to breathe.
Oh, all the nasty things he could teach her. She’d only learned about D/s from books. She’d never bottomed for a man before. If he stayed here with her, he could train her. He could take her mouth, shoving his cock deep. He would hold on to the nape of her neck and force his way to the soft, sweet space at the back of her throat. He would watch over her all day, be the good bodyguard, but when night fell, she would be his sub.
Hell, who said he had to wait for night? She pumped his cock in her hand, watching the way the foreskin moved back and up his stalk.
She was surprisingly innocent when it came to relationships. If he wanted to, he could bring her fully into D/s. He’d never given any thought to taking a full-time submissive, but if he wanted to keep her it might be the best way. He could bring her in, convince her that obeying him was best.
He had no right to think those thoughts. No right to take control of her life, but the impulse was there.
“Stop.” If he let her continue he was going to come in her hand, and that was the last thing he wanted. He would only allow himself to have this one night with her. He intended to make every second count.
She sat back on her heels, but he reached down and lifted her up. This first time was going to be fast. He couldn’t help himself. He needed to get her off because he was worried the minute his dick plunged inside her he would come like a rocket.
He carried her over to the bed, her weight nothing compared to his strength. He laid her out, a feast for his eyes. He’d meant what he told her. She was stunning, so much more in person than in his dreams. He’d known she would have lovely breasts, but had never imagined how perfect and round they would be, how the nipples would be tight pink-and-brown buds. He’d known her body was slender, but not how sleek and sexy she would be without her clothes. Her scrubs hid the graceful curves of her hips and ass. And as often as he’d thought of her pussy, he’d never dreamed it would be perfectly pouty and wet for him.
He lay down beside her, the bed creaking under his weight. He turned on his side and found her mouth with his. She accepted his kiss like a flower opening to full bloom under the sunshine. Her arms came up, wrapping around his neck, and she held back nothing. Her tongue played against his, sliding over and around.
He let his hand cup one breast, loving the silky feel of her skin and how the bud of her nipple pressed into his palm.
His whole body hummed with an energy he hadn’t felt in a long time. His blood pounded through his system, all his instincts telling him to take this woman and mark her as his.
He smoothed his hand down her body, skimming over her belly until he could feel the swell of her pussy. Soft and ripe. A single swipe of his hand let him know how wet and ready she was for him.
So ready and yet he wasn’t going to take his until she’d screamed for him. That was what truly kept him awake at night, the idea that he might be the one man who could loosen her up, who could remind her there was a world outside of medicine and self-sacrifice. For all that he believed she deserved someone educated and
successful, he was also certain that man probably wouldn’t dedicate his whole being to bringing her pleasure.
She shivered beneath him as he fingered her clitoris. That ripe bud was practically pulsing with excitement. He kissed her while he ran his finger over and around and pressed down. He shifted so he could work one long finger into her pussy while letting his thumb work her clit over and over again.
His dick throbbed against her hip, every squirm of her body bringing him closer to the point of no return. It didn’t matter. She was already squeezing around his finger, coating him in her essence. He pressed down while his finger curled inside her and he felt her nails dig into the flesh of his back. Her head dropped away from his and she screamed out his name.
He gave her another moment as she came down, but it tried his every bit of patience. He couldn’t wait another second longer. He rolled her over and made a place for himself between her legs and thrust in. She was incredibly slick, so wet he didn’t have to force himself in. It was like she’d been made for him. He fucked her hard, looking down at her body. She was gorgeous, flush with her recent orgasm.
“Please, Brody,” she said. “It feels amazing. Like nothing I’ve had before.”
He pulled out and thrust back in, the sensation heavenly.
Because he’d made a big mistake.
“Shit.” He forced himself to pull out. What the hell was he doing? “I need a condom.”
“On the nightstand.” She reached over to the small wooden nightstand by the bed and sure enough, there was a stack of condoms.
She’d come prepared. Before he could calm down and let his mind take over, he grabbed the foil packet, opened it, and rolled the rubber over his cock. He wasn’t stopping. There were three condoms there. He intended to use every single one of them.
She’d given herself to him for the night. He wasn’t giving her back ’til morning.
Brody gripped her hips and drove in again. He ground down on her, making sure his pelvis hit that sweet clit with every pounding thrust.
