by Lexi Blake
Because she’d chosen this for the right reasons.
Because she loved him.
She let that thought go and concentrated on the man in front of her. He was six foot seven inches of muscled perfection, with a jawline that looked like it had been carved from the finest marble. Or out of a mountain. He was a mountain of a man.
He moved to another of the closets and opened it, pulling out what looked like a long bar with shackles on either end. They were thick leather and seemed to be padded. “You should feel sexy. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met.”
Steph definitely wasn’t sure about that, but then they were playing. She shouldn’t take anything he said too seriously. When she thought about him not touching another woman because he’d only been able to think about her…well, it was better to put that in the play category. Very romantic but not to be taken literally.
“Thank you, Brody.” She wasn’t going to argue with him. Arguing with him got them nowhere at all. If he did feel that way, then that was nice.
If he thought she was sexy, then that was his business. So why did the words make her sit up straighter?
She licked her lips, trying to make sure she hadn’t missed any of him. That had made her feel sexy. Taking that massive cock into her mouth, letting it stretch her wide and still managing to get her tongue all around him. Yes, that had done something for her.
“See, how can you even doubt it?” Brody glanced down at his own cock. “Man my age should take a bit of time in between bouts, but this fella is ready to go again. So come now and let me help you up.”
He held a big hand out and she rose to her feet. Her body brushed against his cock. Yes, it was doing exactly what he’d told her it was doing. That big dick was lengthening and getting hard and ready to fuck again. She let one hand dip down to cup his heavy balls, loving the silky smooth skin.
Brody groaned, but his lips lifted in the sweetest smile. “I can see I’m going to have to take care of those hands of yours if I want to stay in control. Or perhaps I should look for a different path to take. Hop up on the bed and spread your legs. How do you feel about anal sex?”
She stopped in the middle of doing his bidding. Of all the crazy shit she’d done in an attempt to punish herself, she’d never done that. “I don’t know.”
He frowned her way. “I gave you a specific order. Unless you’re afraid of the bed.”
He had to be literal. She climbed on the bed with its silky sheets. Steph lay back, resting her head against the pillow. It seemed like the submissives at Sanctum got the best of everything. “I’m not afraid of the bed. I’m a little afraid you have depth perception issues.”
He moved to the foot of the bed, easing the long rod between her ankles. He adjusted it so her legs were spread as wide as they could go without hurting her. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m not sure that big cock of yours can fit inside me that way. I’m fairly certain that is a small hole. Not that I’ve looked or anything. But it feels really small.”
He laughed, the sound booming through the room. “We’ll have to work on that.” He wrapped the restraint around her ankle and secured the binding. “I would like to play with your backside a bit this evening. But despite my rough talk, I won’t do anything to you that’s not consensual. You have to give me permission to torture that sweet hole.”
That didn’t seem fair at all, but strangely she didn’t hesitate. “Do your worst.”
He wouldn’t hurt her. Not for anything in the world. Actually, when she thought about it, he’d tried his damnedest not to hurt her the first time around. He’d tried to stay away from her because he’d known he didn’t love her. She’d been the one to push him.
So giving him control over this wasn’t hard. He wouldn’t take more than she could give, wouldn’t give her more than she could take.
Except maybe he thought she was more flexible than she was. There was a delicious stretch to her legs as he shackled her into the spreader bar. She was completely on display.
Brody stared down at her. “You have no idea what I can do to you. I think a safe word is in order.”
“I thought we were using no tonight.”
“I think you might overuse that word tonight if I let you. I want you to give everything a chance. You can tell me no all you like, but I want you to think about stopping the play. If you want to stop you’ll say zebra. I would have used kangaroo, but that would make me too predictable. Now lie back.”
She couldn’t help but grin. She stayed up on her elbows, wanting to see what he was going to do. “Can’t have that now.”
“Did I stutter, luv? I asked you to lie back.”
She did as he asked. “Sorry. I’m trying to figure out what this thing does besides hold my legs open. I can do that, you know.”
“Let you take control for a few minutes and you get a smart mouth on you. Let’s see if I can handle that.” He took the bar in one hand, lifted it, and flipped her neatly over in a show of strength that made her heart race. He talked about being a beast, but he couldn’t know what that did for her. She loved how strong he was, how he could pick her up and carry her around. She found herself face down on the bed, her fingers clutching the sheets.
“The spreader is convenient for me,” Brody explained. “I can shift you around and you can’t fight me. Think about that. Think about the fact that there’s nothing for you to do except lie there and take everything I have to give you.”
Nothing else to do. He was strong enough to handle her. Nate was being taken care of and they were in a safe space. She didn’t have to think, only give over to him. “I’ll watch my smart mouth.”
“And I’ll watch this pretty arse.” The words came out on such a sweet and loving tone that she screamed when lightning flashed across her butt. His hand came down in an arc of fire. One and then two and then five or seven. She couldn’t keep up with the times he rained fire down on her flesh.
The sensation was overwhelming. Tears jarred her sight and she couldn’t help the sounds she made. Still, the words “no” or “stop” or even the very stupid word “zebra” didn’t cross her lips. There wasn’t even the brief thought of saying her safe word.
She lost count of the smacks. The count didn’t matter. All that mattered was the feeling—pain and heat and an odd resilience. She could handle this. Steph clutched the sheet and let her thoughts float.
His hand covered her aching ass as he eased up on the pace. She moaned every time his hand raised and came back down. “How do you feel?”
A little floaty. A lot hot. “Relaxed. My backside hurts, but it’s okay. It’s okay for it to hurt.”
Sometimes hurting was a good thing, if she didn’t fight it. If she let the pain flow over her because it was normal and natural to feel it. When she didn’t fight the pain, it could morph into something else.
“Excellent. I’m going to pull you down a bit. Tell me if anything is uncomfortable.”
She felt herself sliding along the sheets as he used the bar between her legs to maneuver her into position. Her feet hit the floor, the bar keeping her spread wide. Her chest was on the padded table, but her still aching ass was in the air.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I want,” he said from behind her. A big hand touched her between her shoulder blades and smoothed its way down to her backside. “I want you relaxed, waiting for whatever I’m going to do next, ready for anything I want.”
Because what she knew he wanted more than anything else was her pleasure.
“I’m ready for anything you want, Brody.”
“I doubt that, but it’s a start. I think you’re ready for this.” His hand slipped between her cheeks and she shivered as he touched her there.
He was going to play with her ass. She forced herself to remain still as he touched her. A light caress of a single finger brushing over her. Still, her heart rate shot up at the forbidden sensation.
“This is going to be cold, but it’s all righ
t. I’ll warm you up, luv.”
She gasped as his words were proven true. Something cold hit her sensitive flesh, and Steph bit her bottom lip to keep from calling out.
“It’s all right.” His tone was soothing and he massaged the cool lubricant against her, rimming her with that big finger of his.
Why did that sensation seem to go straight to her pussy? It was odd. If he hadn’t warmed her up before, she likely would have protested it, but now there was something sexy about this intimacy.
“You’re gorgeous everywhere. This was the mistake I made that night. I was too eager to have you. I should have taken hours and hours. I should have explored every single inch of you, and then by morning I wouldn’t have been able to leave.”
She didn’t want to hear him talk like that. It hurt to hear those words and think about what might have happened. “You’re dangerously close to me saying my safe word, Brody.”
“I’m hurting you?” His hand moved away in an instant.
“Not physically, but I can’t do this with you. You promised me this wasn’t some way of working out our problems. We agreed to no past and no future.”
She could practically feel his disappointment, but she wasn’t going to waver in this. Pleasure was all she could take from him and all she was willing to give.
His hand was back, this time pressing her against the padding as something hard suddenly rimmed her. “Only this. But you should know, this is me preparing for the future. If all you want of me is the Dom, then you better be prepared. I’ll take what I can get. I’ll make you my sweet submissive, and one of the things my sweet sub will do is take my cock anywhere I want to fuck her with it. And I’ll definitely be taking this gorgeous hole.”
The plug pressed in, and Steph let out a shaky moan.
“Relax.” Brody moved the plug around and around, sinking deeper each time. “Don’t try to keep me out. I’m getting inside.”
He was. He was pressing in and there wasn’t anything she could do. She was trapped and it felt good. The plug stretched her wide, a sensation on the right side of pain.
The plug slid in and she could feel the base against her backside. It felt huge inside her, but she knew he was bigger. How would it feel to take Brody deep inside her? To have him in a way she’d never had a man before?
“Don’t you move.” His voice was rough and she felt the loss of his hand on her skin. “If you lose the plug, we’ll start all over again and we’ll start with a spanking that you won’t forget. Do I make myself clear?”
His voice was harder than it had been before, devoid of the emotion that had flowed between them only moments before, but it was for the best. This was the only kind of affection she could take from him. This was all they could have, but he would see it was for the best, too.
She heard the sound of water running and held her place. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.
Don’t think about what happens when he gets tired of how stubborn you are.
Don’t think about how you’ll feel when he moves on and finds a woman who can give him what he needs.
Don’t think about how much you love him.
She felt him move behind her, felt his thighs touch the backs of her legs as he moved in.
“Look up. Eyes forward.”
She tilted her chin up and saw what she hadn’t seen before. There was a mirror in front of her and she could see his big body behind her, the erotic image searing into her brain. She looked small and vulnerable compared to him. Helpless.
And yet she was the one who’d hurt him.
His jaw was tight as he opened the condom in his hand and rolled it over his cock. There was no teasing hint of a smile, no look of comfort in his face.
This was the Dom and this would be an exchange. She’d done as he’d asked, allowed him to shove a piece of plastic up her ass, and now he would service her.
This was what she’d watched between the king and queen of Loa Mali, though she rather thought their positions had been reversed. Mistress Day had seemed almost desperate to reach her husband and he’d been wooden and cold. Uncomfortable in his own skin.
She didn’t have a problem with her skin. She could be naked all day, but his words…
She was uncomfortable with her own soul. Wasn’t that infinitely worse?
She was giving him no past. No future. No connection except a sexual one, and it was stamped right there on his face that he needed more.
He was here now and he’d been right about one thing. They couldn’t play these games when it came to Nate. She was putting off the inevitable moment when she had to decide how they would work together.
Did she want Nate growing up with two parents who couldn’t come together for anything but sex? Sex that she would attempt to pull all the emotion out of?
“Watch in the mirror.” His voice was a monotone, as if he was going through a checklist of what to do with his sub.
She stared forward as she felt the head of his cock at her pussy. “Would you have put me in a spreader bar while I was pregnant? If you’d stayed?”
He stopped, suspicion on his face. “I would have done a lot of things. I definitely would have done this for as long as I could.”
His cock breached her, the sensation different because she had that plug taking up space. She had to force herself to breathe, but it was good. It was right. When she stopped punishing him, she could feel how right it was to be here with him.
“I got so big, Brody. I was huge.”
There was the face she loved. He softened around her. He could look cruel and masculine, and yet when his eyes went soft she realized he was a big old teddy bear. With spectacular abs and the most amazing cock in the world.
“You were beautiful.” His tone changed and he held himself inside her. One hand moved up, caressing her and making her feel warm and wanted again. “I can only imagine how gorgeous you were.”
She’d been a whale, but he wouldn’t have seen that. He would have seen her differently, as he’d always seemed to see her. “Tell me why you left me.”
“Because I thought I wasn’t good for you. Because I never loved another woman the way I loved you and it scared me.”
He never lied to her. Why would he start now? She couldn’t offer him anything more than she’d offered him then, with the singular exception of their son. “I won’t ever keep you from Nate. You have to know that.”
He dragged his cock back out, his face flushing with pleasure. “I know that, but I want us to be more. You don’t have to answer me tonight, but give me a chance to show you how much more we could be. We could be a family.”
She couldn’t respond, the picture of a family with this man far too sweet. It brought tears to her eyes, but she couldn’t think for long because he was moving inside her.
Brody let himself go, pounding in her, brushing his cock over and over her sweet spot. Between his cock and the plug in her ass she was full. It was like nothing she’d ever felt before.
He pulled on her hips, going deeper, and she flew over the edge.
Gripping the sheet like a lifeline, she watched as Brody’s head dropped back and he pulsed inside her.
Her heart seemed to skip a beat as she watched him. He fell forward, his front resting on her back. He looked down at her and she wanted to be able to see herself through his eyes.
“Stephanie,” he began.
She knew what he was going to say. It was there in his eyes. I love you.
And for a second she was ready to say it back.
A loud knock disrupted the moment.
“Mr. Carter,” a masculine voice said. “I’m afraid we have a situation. I’m sorry to interrupt, but we need to get the doc to another secure location.”
Brody stood up, heading for the small bathroom. “We’ll be out in five minutes. Steph, luv, give me a second and I’ll have you out of there.”
He disappeared into the bathroom, probably to get rid of the condom.
Steph set her head down
and remembered all the reasons she hadn’t wanted to think about the future.
Chapter Twelve
Brody stared at the package on the table and wished like hell that the bodyguards on duty this evening had thought to keep this discreet. They could have said anything to have gotten him out of the training room, but Steph had known something was going on.
Then again, it was really Tucker’s fault. He had Tucker to thank for accepting the package, opening the package, and freaking out about the package.
If it had been one of the bodyguards who had been given the package, they likely would have calmly called in and explained that a box had been delivered and Brody should probably come and take a look at it. If it had been Shane or Declan, the two guards who would come back with them tonight, Steph would not be staring down at that package, her face white as a sheet. He would have gotten her home and put her to bed and she could have been blissfully unaware.
“Did it come with a note?” O’Donnell had changed out of his earlier costume and now was dressed in jeans and a button down, his hair slicked back from a shower.
Brody wished they’d had time to shower. He hated the fact that he’d had to hurry her along. At least she’d had street clothes to change into.
“Of course it came with a note.” Taggart hadn’t changed, though he’d pulled off the long blond wig and bandana. He frowned Tucker’s way. “Unless the puppy forgot the note in his mad dash to erase any and all evidence we could have gotten off this thing.”
Tucker was pacing the floor, a frown on his face. “Well, I’m sorry. I’m not used to opening boxes and finding…that. I’m used to opening boxes and finding pizzas. Or cupcakes. Good things are supposed to come in boxes that are delivered to your front door. Damn it, I tipped that guy. I tipped him and he gave me that.”
“What is it?” Steph asked.
Tucker started to open his mouth and then closed it. “Maybe Steph shouldn’t be here.”
