Huffing out a breath, she stood up and headed for the small kitchen at the back of the clinic. What she needed was a snack. Maybe if her blood sugar was high enough, she could go thirty seconds without thinking about the man she never should have loved.
But the minute she stepped out of her office, she walked into chaos. The front door of the clinic was thrown open and she heard a man shout, “Somebody help! She’s having a baby!”
Lily smiled at the frantic note in the poor man’s voice. In these rooms the husbands and boyfriends were the outsiders. Here women created life, and men could only watch, unable to help, unable to ever completely understand what it was to be a part of creation.
She started for the waiting room, but the anxious couple were already headed toward her and the delivery rooms. Hannah Bingham Mendoza was patting her husband’s hand, while Eric was looking blindly around the room with a panic that was nearly palpable. His dark-brown hair was practically standing on end, and his even darker eyes were frantic. Lily’d never seen the unflappable Eric looking quite so on the edge. He spotted Lily and shouted, “Find Mari. Get her fast.”
“Relax, now, Eric. Hannah will be fine. We’ll take care of her.”
“I’m staying with her,” he said, and gave her a look that dared her to contradict him.
“No problem,” she said, lifting both hands in mock surrender. Lily spotted Crystal, one of the nurses, standing at the end of the hall. Her strawberry-blond head was bent forward as she studied a picture in her locket. Every line of the younger woman’s body screamed with tension. Yet, when Lily called her name, Crystal snapped the locket shut and stood up straight, a forced smile on her face.
“Yes?”
“Tell Mari her cousin’s here and ready to deliver.”
“Right.” Crystal nodded sharply, then sprinted past them down the hall and took the turn toward the hospital wing.
Lily, meanwhile, took Hannah’s free arm and caught the eye of Heather, the receptionist. “Why don’t you have Eric fill out the papers and I’ll take her into the back.”
Heather rolled her eyes but nodded. “You got it. Come on, Eric,” she said in a soothing, overly patient tone, “do the paperwork while they get Hannah settled.”
He glanced after his wife. “But I want to be there.”
“You will be. Forms first.”
“Can’t they wait?”
Heather just sighed, grabbed hold of his arm and practically dragged him back to her desk.
Lily helped Hannah into the closest empty room and settled her in a rocking chair. “There you go, honey, how’re you doing?”
Hannah stroked the mound of her unborn child and smiled. “Better than Eric.”
“I got that much,” Lily said with a gentle laugh. “He loves you. That’s why he’s so worried.”
“I know.” Hannah’s smile was wide and dreamy. “Wonderful, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is.”
Mari skidded into the room from the hallway, nearly breathless from her dash from the hospital wing. “Hi, kiddo, we ready to party?”
“Oh, yeah,” Hannah told her, taking a deep breath and then blowing it out as another contraction gripped her. When it passed, she smiled weakly and looked up at her cousin. “So, is it too soon to demand drugs?”
Mari laughed and helped her out of the chair and onto the bed. “First, let’s get you settled.”
Lily watched the younger women for a long moment, then said, “I’ll go check on Eric and send him back when you’re ready.”
“Thanks, Lily,” Mari said, throwing her a quick grin over her shoulder. “And tell him to calm down, will you? I heard him over in the children’s wing.”
Love, Lily thought as she walked briskly down the hall toward the waiting room and the nervous father-to-be. It was an amazing thing, really. Love had brought Hannah and Eric together. Love had made them a family. Love had convinced Eric to be a father to a child that wasn’t, biologically speaking, his.
Love was the real miracle.
She spent the next several minutes helping Eric remember his phone number, and when Mari signaled that it was time, Lily walked him back to the birthing room. She stood in the hall, unable to leave, listening for that first, magical cry.
When it finally came, a heartbreaking wail that seemed to echo down the halls, Lily smiled and told herself that miracles happened every day.
How could she not hope for one of her own?
The night of the fund-raiser was crisp and cool. As summer ended and drew into fall, twilight came earlier and the stars seemed to shine even more brightly.
Party lights were strung across the grassy divides between the clinic and the hospital. There were game booths, rides, and hot dog and cotton candy stands. All of the people manning the attractions were volunteers from town, wanting to help raise money that would bring much-needed jobs to the county.
Music drifted from the bandstand where a local country band was tuning up and playing a few songs to put themselves in the partying mood.
And in the lobby of the clinic, Ron looked around at the faces gathered there. His family and friends. His daughter, Mari, looking tired, but happy. His son, Geoff, and Geoff’s new wife, Cecelia, fresh off their honeymoon, were practically glowing with love and happiness. Friends he’d known since childhood and a few more he’d been lucky enough to pick up along the way were also there, helping Ron support the research facility that had been so long in the planning.
And then there was Lily.
She moved at the edges of the crowd, smiling, laughing, talking. She did her job well, he thought, and felt admiration swell inside him. She’d pulled it off and, judging from the reactions of the guests who’d already started lining up at the games outside, she’d been absolutely right to go with her “country fair” theme.
She glanced at him and, even from across the room, he felt the impact of her gaze slam home. Flames licked at his insides while he did his damnedest to look cool and professional. He wondered if the people gathered here to toast the fund-raiser had heard the gossip about Lily and him. He wondered what they thought and then asked himself if he really cared what they thought.
The answer was no.
Surprise flickered through him, like the winks of light thrown from a kid’s sparkler. He’d expected to care. He’d been working hard to keep what he and Lily had found together just between them.
Yet suddenly it didn’t seem to matter.
With pride in his eyes he watched her work the crowd and followed her every movement. Her blond hair was swept behind her ears to display long, diamond-studded chains hanging from her lobes. The earrings swung with her energy, keeping time with her steps. Her bright-red dress was cut low enough over her breasts that one of the guests treated himself to an eyeful of her cleavage.
Anger spurted inside Ron, and he wanted to tell the old fool to put his eyes back in his head. But then Lily smiled and moved on, charming everyone. She chatted, laughed and patted hands as she worked the room like a southern politician.
And she had them all…including Ron…in the palm of her small hand.
“Dad?” Geoff said quietly from beside him. “You okay?”
Ron came out of his musings and glanced at his son. Smiling, he said, “Yes. I’m fine. Great, in fact. I was just…thinking.”
Geoff smiled sadly. “About Mom?”
Guilt jabbed at Ron’s insides. No, he hadn’t been thinking of Vi tonight. His thoughts had been centered on an elegant blond with a body designed to make a man crazy. She couldn’t cook, but her laughter was food for the soul. She loved to dance, but had two left feet. She was as hardheaded as he was and not too intimidated to stand toe-to-toe with him and argue.
So, no, he hadn’t been thinking about Vi at all. And as he looked from his son’s understanding gaze to his daughter’s smiling face, Ron began to understand why. His children and the life he’d made with Violet were his past. A wonderful time that he wouldn’t have changed or traded for any a
mount of treasure.
But that magical time was gone, and he was left standing at the threshold of the rest of his life. The question was, how would he face the coming years? As a man mourning a love lost? A man afraid to try again for fear of losing once more?
“Dad?” Geoff prodded. “You’re zoning out, here. You sure you’re okay?”
Ron nodded and sucked in a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m sure.” He clapped one hand on Geoff’s shoulder and slipped the other arm around Mari’s waist as she came up to join them. “Before we go join the party,” he said softly, keeping his voice low enough that only his children would hear him, “I wanted you both to know how proud I am of you.”
“Dad—”
He smiled at Mari. “I’m fine,” he said, anticipating her question. “Can’t a man tell his kids they’re good people without everyone thinking he’s dying or something?”
“Hey, I’m convinced,” Geoff said, and slapped his father on the back. “And thanks, Dad. It means a lot to me.”
“Good.” Ron met his son’s gaze and saw with absolute clarity the man he’d become. Pride didn’t define the feelings coursing through him. But now wasn’t the time for reflection, he told himself as the crowd began to get restive. Now was the time to party and collect enough money to set the research facility on a strong foundation.
He glanced from face to face, smiling at his friends, nodding to acquaintances, before finally landing his gaze square on Lily for a long, thoughtful moment. Even from across the room he felt the threads binding them. This bond with Lily was something he hadn’t expected. Something he’d told himself he didn’t want.
And yet now he drew on that strength, bathed in the warmth he saw in her eyes and felt…complete.
“Welcome,” he announced in a booming voice, demanding the room’s attention. As the people turned and looked at him expectantly, he flashed them all a wide grin and said, “What do you say we take you big spenders to the fairground, pry open your wallets and start the party?”
Chapter Fourteen
A week later it was official.
The fund-raiser had been a resounding success.
It seemed that the movers and shakers of Kentucky society liked nothing better than to throw down bundles of money for the chance of winning carnival prizes. The band had kept the crowd dancing until late into the night, and the raffle prizes, everything from a weekend at a hotel in Lexington to a brand-new car, had been a huge hit. People in town were still talking about it, and the financial backers of the research facility were as happy as those financial types ever were.
In the quiet of her office, Lily smiled as she ran the last of the figures on her calculator. She hit the total button, grinned, then leaned back and enjoyed the sweet, proud glow that settled in her chest. And it wasn’t just the amount of money raised but the satisfaction of a job well done that had Lily silently congratulating herself.
She’d thrown a party that had pleased everyone and done its job. Mari was delighted. The townspeople would be talking about the bash until next year’s fund-raiser, and Myrtle Bingham thought Lily was a genius.
“Always good to keep the boss happy,” she muttered as she lifted her feet to the edge of her desk and crossed them at the ankles.
Now, she thought, frowning suddenly, if only her personal life was running as smoothly as her professional one. Wouldn’t that be a happy thing?
But no chance of that.
She and Ron met nearly every night at either his house or hers. They went on picnics and to the movies, split milkshakes at the local diner and went dancing at Big Jim’s. And every date ended with the two of them locked in each other’s arms, discovering new ways of making magic together.
Lily squirmed on her seat, just thinking about those amazing nights. She’d found more with Ron than she’d ever known existed. Not even that first rush of love she’d felt for her ex-husband so many years ago could compare to what she experienced just looking into Ron’s eyes.
In a few short weeks he’d become so important to her it was almost impossible to remember her life without him in it. He was her last thought before she fell asleep and her first thought on waking up.
No doubt they were the talk of the town. She’d caught the covert glances tossed at her, and more than once she’d spotted Mari giving her an indulgent, nearly wistful look. Even Ron’s son, Geoff, now that he was back from his honeymoon, had stopped by twice to see her, both times giving her a warm hug that felt like a welcome to the family. “He’s probably been talking to his sister,” Lily whispered on a sigh.
But it didn’t matter what people were saying or thinking. She and Ron never discussed the gossip or what it might mean. In fact, both of them had become quite expert at talking around what really mattered.
Passion, desire, need was easy for them.
Flames erupted whenever they came together. Flashes of emotion rattled in the air around them. But the future was never acknowledged, and questions were never asked.
And the invisible wall that stood between them hadn’t been breached on either side. Lily couldn’t admit her love for him without risking him running for the hills. And Ron wouldn’t admit he felt anything for her because it would, or so he apparently thought, take something away from what he’d had with Violet.
Lily pulled her feet down and swiveled in her chair to look out the window at the cloudy skies beyond the glass. Wind whipped through the trees, and she shivered as if she could feel the bite of it slicing into her flesh. Summer was sliding into fall. Changes. Life was about changes.
What didn’t change, or grow, died.
The love affair between Ron and her was trapped. It couldn’t grow and wouldn’t change. With her gaze locked on the treetops, she wondered how long it would be before what she’d found with Ron ended.
She was suddenly cold to the bone—and the weather had nothing to do with it.
“What is wrong with you?” she demanded out loud.
Leaping up, she stalked to the window, unhooked the latch and threw it wide open. Instantly the cold wind swept past her, lifting loose papers off her desk and swirling them onto the floor. And at the same time, the wind scattered her dark thoughts.
She curled her fingers over the windowsill and held on tight. Her mind raced; her heart pounded.
“Since when do you walk away from a fight?” she asked herself in a low, strained whisper that came from her soul. Pulling in a deep breath of that frigid air, Lily stared blankly at the trees and lawn beyond the glass. Outside, nursing and midwifery students were hurrying to their next classes. Expectant mothers were walking arm in arm with their husbands, trying to hurry labor along. And inside the hospital and the clinic, people were working, putting their hearts and souls on the line for what they believed in.
Just as she always had.
Stiffening slightly, Lily lifted her chin and shifted her gaze to the cloud-tossed sky above as if she could stare straight into Heaven itself. Then she said in a quiet, firm voice, “What you had with him is over. And you have to let him go. I don’t want to fight you, because I probably couldn’t win.” That was a hard one to admit, she thought, but then, how did one do battle with the ghost of perfection? Still… “I love him. And I’m not going to let what we have end without at least telling him so.”
Pushing away from the window, she added, “If you have a problem with that, I’ll be outside in a minute. Find a lightning bolt.”
Ron stood in his mother’s front parlor and wished he didn’t feel like a kid again, being called on the carpet for shooting birds with his BB gun.
“Don’t look so damn nervous,” his mother said, waving him into a chair. “For heaven’s sake, Ron. I’m not an ogre.”
“Since when?” he asked wryly, one eyebrow lifting into an arch.
His mother’s lips twitched in amusement. “Fine, then. I’m an ogre. So do what I tell you.”
“Not gonna be here that long, Mom.”
“Then say what you came to say.”
She reached for the flowered teapot to pour herself a second cup.
“Right to business, huh?”
“I’m too old to waste time,” she said, then took a sip of her favored Earl Grey. After she’d swallowed, she added, “As are you.”
His mother had always been honest, he thought, scraping one hand across his beard. And hadn’t he been thinking the same damn thing for the past few weeks? That he was too old for the foolishness of starting an affair? Of enjoying an affair? Of needing someone as much as he’d come to need Lily?
“But when do you get too old for love?” he wondered, and didn’t realize he’d asked the question aloud until his mother answered.
“Who says you do?”
“I’m sorry?”
She set her teacup back into the saucer with a gentle clink of fine china. Putting them both onto the tea tray, she stood up and crossed the room to the wide front window, looking out over the expanse of yard.
Ron watched her and felt a flicker of admiration. His mother was still what used to be called “a fine figure of a woman.” Tall and straight, she spoke her mind with an innate sense of grace and style that always seemed to bring out the best in people.
“You’re never too old for love, son,” she said quietly, her back to him as her gaze locked on something only she could see.
He frowned to himself. He hadn’t meant for this to become a deep discussion. In fact, he wasn’t even sure why he’d come to his mother’s place. He should be at work. Hell, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d left the office in the middle of the day. But he simply hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything.
The business couldn’t hold his attention.
Nothing could.
He felt restless, uneasy. And no matter how he tried to steer his brain in another direction, inevitably, his thoughts focused on Lily and how soon he might be able to see her again.
Just a few short months ago, he hadn’t known her. Now he couldn’t imagine not knowing her.
He’d gone into this affair with what he’d thought was a clear head. He hadn’t wanted love. Hadn’t wanted to care, even. But Lily had moved into his life, his heart, his mind. She was a part of him now in a way that he hadn’t experienced in far too long.
Forever…Again Page 15
