by Kreig, K. L.
She swallows hard and doesn’t speak, but she doesn’t need to. I can see the longing mirrored in her innocent eyes. Jesus, she’s still in high school and I’m a bastard of epic proportions for wanting her like I do, but I can’t make myself stop. There is just something about this girl that I’m unable to resist, no matter how hard I’ve been trying.
“Wanna get out of here for a while?” She’s young, she’s innocent, and I have no doubt she’s a virgin. Plus I’m going back to college next month, so I know what I’m proposing may send me straight to hell, but a stampede of wild animals couldn’t make me take it back.
Yep. Asshole-of-the-year award winner, right here.
“And do what?” she asks nervously, chewing her bottom lip adoringly.
My hand drifts down to cup her firm ass, tugging her lower half closer. I let my fingers slide underneath her teeny bottoms. Her slight moan and hand tightly gripping my hip only make my cock throb harder, causing the palm sitting on her ass to start kneading unconsciously. “Whatever you want, Alyse. No pressure here, but you have to know if it were up to me, I’d be sliding my dick inside you within the next five minutes, tops.”
Her eyes never leave mine, searching for what, I don’t know. But she must find it, because when she finally responds, I can honestly say I haven’t been more excited at the prospect of being with a woman. Ever. And even at the young age of twenty-one, my portfolio is broad.
“Okay.”
“Everything all right in here?” a female voice cuts in, causing the vision of Alyse coming all over my fingers not five minutes later to dissolve.
Fuck. I’ve never forgotten a single minute of that summer with her.
Not one.
I look up to see Alyse’s older sister standing in the doorway, looking back and forth between Gray and me, brows creased. Even in the dark, I see her belly is starting to swell. Of course, Livia’s pretty slight and with twins it probably doesn’t take long to show.
Once again, I have to tamp down that little green monster.
Jesus, I’m acting like a pussy instead of the confident, successful businessman that could have any woman he wants.
Except now you don’t just want any woman. You want one. Alyse.
“Fine.” Rising from my seat, I give her a quick hug on my way out. “See you all later.”
When my mom asks where I’m going as I pass by, I simply say, “Out.” I’m sure one of my brothers will fill her in that I won’t be home for the rest of the evening, but I know neither will say I’m with Alyse.
As I get in my car and back out of the driveway for my short drive to pick Alyse up, I try to snap that cocky, confident mask I wear firmly back into place. Gray’s and my discussion has shaken me up more than I want to admit. I could fall hard and deep for this woman, but I have to know where she stands first. Because it’s not too late to rein my feelings back in and just move on to the next warm body.
Right, Ash. You just keep telling yourself that.
Chapter 5
Alyse
Even though I have no intention of inviting Asher in, I run around my tiny house making sure it’s tidy.
Looking at the clock, I see it’s still only twenty to seven, so I pull a Coors Light from the fridge to calm my nerves while I wait. I don’t know where we are going to dinner, so I’ve decided to go with a navy-and-cream-striped sweater dress, paired with tights and dark brown knee-high boots. It’s dressy enough for a nice restaurant, but casual enough to get by at a bar if that’s where we’re headed. I could see Ash fitting in easily in either place. He may be somewhat cocky and arrogant, but he’s not pretentious in the least. I think that’s one of the things that draws me to him.
His dominance excites me.
His passion ignites me.
His magnetism simply captivates me.
Pacing the small floor of the kitchen, I mentally tick off the reasons why this dinner slash date is a very bad idea. Because despite what Asher tried to lead me into believing, this is absolutely a date. One that I agreed to without much arm-twisting, hussy that I am.
One: He’s a playboy. He can’t commit. I’ve heard stories about him for years from Livia.
Two: He’ll be like family soon. God, I will see him all the time.
Three: You’re going to be employed by this man. For months!
Four: I can’t think of a fourth, but I’m sure it’s there. Oh yes…the most important one. He’ll break your heart, Alyse, because of reason number one.
I tip the brown bottle to my mouth. It’s empty and I still have ten minutes left. I head to the fridge to grab another, trying to think of the reasons why this may not be such a bad idea.
One: Your whole body lights up like the Fourth of July around him.
Two: You’ve been half in love with him for eight years.
Three: You feel alive for the first time since Beck.
Four: It’s time. It’s time to let yourself be vulnerable again. And why not with him?
Shit.
I’m a very big list person. Always have been as long as I can remember. I make lists for everything. Groceries, to-dos, books I own, books I want, short- and long-term goals I want to accomplish. You name it, I have a list for it. And before I make any big decision, I make a very comprehensive pros and cons list, even before dating a man. I don’t even realize I’m doing it half the time.
So before I started my business, of course I made a list. The cons far outweighed the pros, but I went for my dreams anyway, because if you don’t go for your dreams you’re just left with regret. And I’ve lived with enough regret to fill up my small house two times over. But even if my business fails, at least I can say I gave it my all. My blood, sweat, and tears will be soaked into the matted, dirty carpet before I close the doors. I think that’s why I stayed with Finn so long. When I go for something, I’m all in and I don’t like to admit failure. Who does?
As I think about my pros and cons list for Asher Colloway, I know there are so many more things I can add to the cons column if I give it some thought. That little number three on the pros list is what has me hesitating, though. You feel alive for the first time since Beck. Asher sets my very blood on fire and no one, not even Beck, has done that.
When Asher had me cornered in the kitchen of his mom’s house, I’d forgotten what it was to genuinely be turned on by a man from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I realize now that I’ve only been going through the motions all these years in my pathetic attempt to move forward, not look back.
His eyes and words challenge me. A man hasn’t challenged me in, well, ever. Even Beck didn’t challenge me. Until that December night so many years ago when he did a one-eighty, he was warm, compassionate, and loving. But never challenging.
How odd. I didn’t know what I was missing until I had a taste of it.
I absently shake my Magic 8 Ball, the one I’ve had since I was four years old, silently asking the same question over and over. Magic 8 is ever the optimist.
Me: Is this a smart idea?
Magic 8: Signs point to yes…You may rely on it…It is certain.
Hand to God, if it gave me even one negative answer, I’d be calling Asher to cancel.
It may look to the outside world that I’ve moved past the darkest time in my life, but I know the truth. I haven’t. Not really. I’m stuck in quicksand, fighting daily to not let myself be sucked completely into its dark, grainy nothingness.
Until I set eyes again on Asher Colloway, that is, and I felt my heart really beat.
God, I’m so scared to make the wrong decision. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Asher Colloway could hurt me. Badly. Probably even ruin me permanently for any other man.
But…
It’s the ‘but’ that has me wavering. Actually contemplating. It’s the ‘but’ that had me agreeing to this faux business meeting, against the stronger need for self-preservation.
But…he could be your salvation.
The doorbell rings and I
quickly finish the last of my beer, dropping the empties into the recycling bin. I take a deep breath and head to the door, wondering to myself what lies on the other side.
My salvation…or my destruction.
Chapter 6
Asher
“I’m sorry to hear about your dad,” she says.
“Thanks.” I look down, trying to not let this subject ruin the great evening I’ve had with Alyse. “It’s always hard at holidays, especially on my mom.”
She nods. “I can relate. Even though my dad wouldn’t have won any father-of-the-year awards, he was still my dad, you know? He did the best he could given his…sickness.”
I don’t know what to say that won’t be perceived as mean. I hate how Livia and Alyse’s father used to put his own selfish desires ahead of his children. I could never understand how parents do that. It’s obvious that Alyse loved her dad, despite all his faults, and that only makes me like her all the more.
“We can’t choose our family.”
“True.”
“Do you want dessert?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
“God no. I’ll save my food coma for tomorrow,” she laughs.
Success.
“Do you want another beer?”
She hesitates for a moment before declining. Damn. It’s only a little after ten and I’m not ready to call it a night. I can’t remember when I’ve enjoyed myself more on a date when I knew beforehand I wasn’t going to get laid at the end of it. As much as I’d like to make a move on her, I won’t, because strangely enough, I want that even more. I want the anticipation of claiming her for the very first time. More and more I think that’s exactly what this is.
I want her to be mine.
When Alyse opened the door earlier, I nearly stopped breathing. Vibrant chocolate eyes that glimmered slightly with sparkly makeup gauged my every reaction. I couldn’t have stopped my eyes from traveling the length of her if you held a gun to my head with the trigger cocked.
Her dark, shiny hair was in loose waves down her back. All I could think of is how it would look against her fair, naked skin as her head was thrown back in ecstasy. The sweater-like form-fitting dress she wore hugged her every curve like a gentle lover. I’ve never wanted to know what lay underneath a woman’s clothing so badly.
When I got to the high-heeled boots…fuck. I could imagine her in those and nothing else while she was bent over my desk as I watched my cock slide in and out of her slick pussy. And her glossy red lips? Jesus, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to kiss them or have them wrapped around my cock. I spent the whole drive to dinner willing my dick back to at least a semi-hard state, reminding him of our end goal here.
Get the girl, not just the fuck.
I don’t want to follow my usual and very-well-treaded path with this woman, which would include dinner, a few after-dinner drinks, and a hard fuck over the back of the couch. Preferably hers so I could leave afterward. It would make her like all the others, and she’s so not. Don’t get me wrong, I want all of those things with Alyse, especially the hard fuck…just at a slower pace.
The talking to I gave my cock all the way here didn’t work and he’s been pounding against his metal prison ever since. He’s mighty pissed he won’t be let out until I jerk him in the shower when I get home, because that’s gonna happen. You can bet your sweet ass the entire time, I will be imagining it’s Alyse’s hot mouth bringing me to the edge and over.
I knew Alyse had grown into an incredible woman when I listened to her talk my mom’s ear off about her business a few weeks ago. Spending the last three hours in comfortable conversation, I have learned that Alyse is not only an extremely intelligent woman, she’s passionate, fiercely dedicated, independent, and a little broken, just like me. She didn’t say so, but I can see it every time I stare into her dark eyes.
No woman has ever made me feel this way, not even Natalie. I’m completely at ease with Alyse. Like I can be the truest form of myself. It’s comfortable, but not in a boring way. More in an I-finally-feel-like-I’m-home way.
I reach across the table, taking her hand in mine. It feels natural. Right. God, it feels so fucking good. “Are you ready to go?” I ask quietly, hoping that the answer is no, but fearing it’s yes.
She looks between our entwined hands and my face repeatedly. I watch the pink flush that starts right above her firm breasts creep into her face, just as if someone’s pulling a curtain from the ground up instead of the opposite. All through dinner I’ve felt her attraction as much as I’ve felt her fighting it, but her body doesn’t lie. Can’t lie. My dick jumps at the thought of being inside her, of having that flush come from the multiple orgasms I will demand of her, instead of the valiant, but fruitless fight she’s trying to put up.
Her mouth says yes, but her eyes say the opposite.
Jesus, Alyse, please don’t make this so hard on me. I’m not that fucking honorable.
Minutes later, the bill is paid and we’re silently driving back to her house. Now that I’ve held her hand in mine, I can’t not reach for it. So I do. She lets me take it. I hear her quickened breaths as loudly as if she’d just run a marathon and I wonder how I’m going to simply walk her to her door then turn around, climb back into my car, and leave.
I may have to pull over to the side of the road before I get home and relieve this ache deep in my balls. I’m not sure the hard-on I’m sporting will go away any other way. And the last thing I need to do is walk into my house and have my brothers and my mother see this giant bulge in my jeans. Although at least Gray will be assured that Alyse’s virtue remains intact.
For now. Because it won’t for much longer.
Fifteen minutes later we pull into Alyse’s driveway. I turn the car off. She waits for me to run around and open the door for her. Somehow this little ‘business dinner’ ruse has turned quite nicely into a real date. I can’t help the smile that takes over my face.
Taking her hand, I walk her to the front door where we stand, awkwardly. I can honestly say I’ve never been in this position before, so I have no clue what to do. Every time I’ve walked a woman to her door for the last seven years, I knew what followed, even on my first date with Natalie. Hot, sweaty, dirty sex. I’m truly in foreign territory here, so I have to follow my gut for the first time in…ever.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at eleven,” I tell her as I raise my hand to cup her cheek, my thumb stroking her silky skin. I can’t seem to keep my hands off her. Jesus, maybe hiring her was a bad idea. I don’t know how I’m going to be around her day in and day out, without wanting her underneath me all the time.
“No. I can drive,” she answers. Breathlessly. I understand the feeling. I can hardly breathe myself. I want to devour her right here on her front step; fuck anybody who may be watching. I’m not shy. I don’t mind.
“No arguing.” I take a step closer, putting my entire body almost flush with hers. I have to give her credit, she doesn’t step back. She swallows hard and her pink, glossy lips part ever so slightly, teasing me to kiss them. “Thank you for going to dinner with me.”
“I enjoyed it,” she responds quietly. This is as hard for her as it is for me. Good. At least I won’t be the only one suffering tonight. Then she totally takes me by surprise. “Come in.”
I groan.
Fuck. Me. I’m trying to do the right thing here and she’s a temptress. Holding water just out of reach to someone who’s been in the desert for a week without it. Except in my case, it’s been over a goddamn month. I want to be buried in her pussy so fucking bad.
All.
Night.
Long.
And if I step foot through that door, that’s exactly what will end up happening.
“I shouldn’t,” I finally manage to say. Jesus. That physically hurt, like the words were tugged right from my balls.
I see the hurt in her eyes and it guts me that she thinks I’m rejecting her, so I do the only thing I can to reassure her of my insane, burning desire.
Backing her up against the house, I palm her face and eat at her mouth like the famished man I am.
We moan. We paw. Our bodies writhe as we taste each other’s unique flavor for the first time in eight years. My cock is raving mad with the need to get inside her, except I won’t let this go any further.
Not tonight.
With great effort, I pull back, drawing her forehead to mine. We’re both panting, our breaths ragged. Her eyes are closed tightly, like she’s afraid to open them and look at me for fear she’ll be lost. I know I will be. And I know if she does, I’ll be walking through that door with her, throwing away all my good intentions.
I take her hand, placing it over my throbbing cock. And he is throbbing. Angrily. When her hand makes contact, I hiss, feeling him twitch, and she can’t hold in her own groan. I torture myself by moving our hands up and down my stiff shaft, slowly, my hips pumping involuntarily. I let my lips trail to her ear so I’m sure she hears every word I’m about to say.
“I want you so fucking bad, Alyse. You have no idea the restraint I’m using here to not pull down those sexy tights and claim you right here. Right now. In front of anyone who cares to watch. But you deserve more than a quick fuck. I want, no…I need to do this right. I want you desperate for me, because when I do finally take you, you’re going to be mine. Only mine.”
I suddenly wonder how I ever managed to stay away from this incredible woman for eight long years and why it took me that long to find my way back to her.
With a nip on her earlobe and a quick peck to her lips, I release our hands and walk to my car before I can’t. Before my little head takes over the big one, which is about two point five seconds away from happening.
“Be ready by eleven,” I call as I slip into my pearly white Range Rover, my voice thick with lust.
