by Kreig, K. L.
“I know,” she says, dabbing an escaped tear.
“You are so beautiful, Libs. I’m so happy for you. I know I may not always show it, but I do love you. Very much.”
“I love you too, Alyse.” Pausing, she adds, “Everything I’ve ever done is for you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. No sacrifice is too great.”
I nod, feeling like the lines she’s asking me to read between are blurry and confusing. I’m not sure they’ll ever come into focus.
“Our lives have been hard,” I say.
“Very.”
A wave of need to tear down all the walls I’ve built between us hits me hard. I know not all of this has been my doing; Livia’s kept her fair share of secrets, but so have I. I need to rectify that. I’ve been doing nothing but thinking about Barb’s words for the past two days. Forgiveness is freeing. I want to be free. And regardless of whether Livia will ever tell me what happened, I want my sister back. But now is not the time.
“I want to tell you so many things.”
She nods, as if she completely understands. “Is everything okay with you?”
I swallow hard. Honesty is so much harder than lying, letting people believe you’re fine. “Not really, but I’m working through it.”
“Is it Asher?”
“No. My past has risen from the dead,” I tell her, not exaggerating in the least.
“Is it a guy?”
I nod, unable to voice the guilty words.
“Does Asher know?”
I let my eyes fall to the floor. “No,” I whisper.
“Alyse, look at me.” I do. “Take it from me. As much as you think keeping your past hidden will protect your relationship with Asher, it won’t. I almost lost Gray for good because I tried to keep mine a secret. Trust me, altruism often feels like betrayal to the other person. Learn from my mistakes. Talk to him before it’s too late.”
I nod, knowing she’s right.
“Do you love Asher?”
“Yes,” I respond immediately. “More than I ever thought possible.”
“Do you love this other guy?”
My eyes sting and my stomach churns. I’ve been slayed with guilt for an entire week. “Yes,” I whisper. “He was my first love.” And so much more.
She squeezes my hands hard. “You need to figure it out Lysee. Asher’s crazy about you.”
“I know. I know,” I repeat. I can’t picture my life without him.
Before we can say anything else, Addy pops her head in. “It’s time,” she whispers excitedly.
With one last look at each other, Livia and I stand and hug.
“Wait, I have one more thing to do before we go,” I tell her before rummaging through my bag. When I pull out the Magic 8 Ball, Livia busts out laughing, which was exactly my plan.
“You still have that thing?” she asks.
“Duh. I’ll take this to my grave. I think we need to see what she has to say before you walk down that aisle, don’t you?”
“It’s tradition,” she quips.
“Yes, it is.” I shake the ball, asking Livia, “Ready to marry the love of your life?”
We’re both grinning from ear to ear when we turn the globe over and peer through the milky blue waters as her answer comes into focus.
Without a doubt.
“Well, now it’s eight-ball official. Let’s go get you hitched, sis.” I tell her, hooking my arm in hers as we walk toward the door.
“I love you, Lysee.”
“I love you too, Libs.”
______________
Ten minutes later, as I stand to Livia’s left holding her bouquet and mine, Asher stands to Gray’s right, holding onto the wedding rings. Our eyes never leave each other as Livia and Gray profess their undying love in front of all their family and friends.
“Livvy, angel, you are my light, my hope, my dreams, my future. I’m a whole man only because you’re with me. I’m strong only because my strength comes from you. Who knew when I walked into that pizza joint nearly nine years ago and heard your laugh that my life was about to come into focus for the first time. When I saw your face…” Gray pauses to compose himself and tears shine brightly in his eyes as he holds tight to Livia’s hands, his words choked when he starts again.
“When I saw your face, I knew I was looking at my once in a lifetime. My greatest love. My only love. My everything…”
Gray takes his time, pouring his heart out to his new wife, who’s so emotional by the time it’s her turn, she can barely speak. The ceremony is intimate, tender, and poignant as they talk about love almost lost and never letting each other go again. By the end, Gray and Livia are both freely crying and there can’t be a dry eye in the house. Even through my blurry ones, I see the glimmer in Asher’s as he watches me with unmistakable love.
I can’t help imagining it’s me that’s standing in Livia’s place and Asher in Gray’s. I imagine it’s us telling the whole word that we’ve met the one person we can’t imagine walking a day without.
I imagine my future.
It dawns on me as I stare into the watery blues of the beautiful, loving man across from me, that I’ve never had my whole heart to give any man. I’ve always left a piece of it in the past and guarded the rest. When I was with Beck, a part was left with Asher. And now that I’m with Asher, a small part still remains with Beck.
I need my whole heart back, because I’m finally ready to hand it over in the palm of my hand and let somebody else carry it.
On the exact day I thought my life ended eight years ago, I realize that it’s only just begun, but I need to put my past where it belongs, once and for all.
Firmly, permanently in the rearview mirror.
Unfortunately, the only way to do that is to confront it head-on.
Chapter 35
Asher
“I don’t like that asshole,” Luke grumbles, taking a long pull from his Heineken, glaring daggers across the dim room.
“Who?” I ask, trying to follow his line of sight.
“That photographer.” He points with the mouth of his green bottle to Cooper Jensen, who is done taking pictures for the evening but has hung around to chat with Addy. They have their heads close, laughing. Addy has her hand on his forearm in a flirty gesture.
I saw him talking for quite a while with Alyse earlier and I had to hold myself back from wiping the floor with his face when he hugged her. But as I try my best to exorcise the illogical jealousy that clouds my judgment, I have to say I think Mr. Jensen seems to be far more interested in Addy than Alyse.
And that’s good for his longevity, at least as far as I’m concerned. Now from Luke’s perspective, it may still be very much in danger. Between the two of us I think Cooper Jensen should be far more worried about my older brother.
“You like her,” I state matter-of-factly, thinking back to last Friday night when Luke acted like a hungry lion protecting his kill. I thought he and camera boy were gonna throw down about who kept Addy in their arms.
“Didn’t say that.”
I smile, knowing he’s full of shit. I’m the motherfucking king of jealousy and I clearly see shades of green swirling wildly around Luke’s aura, threatening to crowd out every scrap of common sense. “Then why do you care if she’s talking to pretty boy?”
“Didn’t say I did. Just don’t like him.” Luke turns to me. “He was hitting on your girl earlier.”
“They’re just friends,” I retort. At least I hope that’s all it is. Since last weekend, I may have figured out the unknown number calling Alyse all day Sunday belonged to Cooper Jensen. I may have possibly memorized the number and called it when Alyse was out of town on Tuesday. And he may have told me he was calling about the photography contract when he answered the phone.
Maybe.
Yep…motherfucking king.
As I take a swallow of my own drink, I watch Alyse chatting and laughing with my mother and my aunt across the room. I can easily picture her as a permanent part
of our family and not just as Gray’s sister-in-law. My mom has taken a very keen interest in Alyse, treating her as if she’s already one of the family. It seems they’ve bonded on some sort of female level that I’ll probably never understand.
This evening Alyse hasn’t seemed quite as withdrawn as she has for the last week, but my hold on her is tenuous at best. I need to up my game if I want to keep her. I’m working hard to break down her walls again. I think I’m making progress, but then there will be a setback, like Christmas evening, when I intruded on a clearly private and intense conversation between Alyse and my mother. I heard the end of it, when my mom was talking about forgiveness, but I never asked what she was referring to. I hoped Alyse would offer, but she didn’t and I tried not to let that hurt.
“You love her. Livia’s sister,” Luke says, nodding in the direction to which I’m intently focused.
I nod. “With every part of me.”
“Hold onto her then.”
“I’m trying,” I confess. “You should ask her to dance. You know, the one you can’t peel your eyes from,” I suggest as the DJ changes from some new pop song I’m not familiar with to a slow, romantic one that I am. Throwing back the rest of my whiskey, I leave my older brother before hearing his response, making a beeline for my lovely Alyse.
I’m tired of sharing her, even with my family. I want one last dance before I take her back to our hotel room and ravage her for the rest of the night. My dick has been twitching all damn evening watching her in that stunning, knee-length navy-blue dress she’s wearing. It looks strapless, except for the sheer halter that covers her delicate neckline. The strappy silver heels make her bare legs look like they go on for miles. I want to see her bending over the bed in nothing but those in about ten minutes.
“I’m going to steal my woman back now,” I say quietly to my family, holding Alyse’s eyes as I hold out my hand. In the background, Ed Sheeran croons lyrics about people falling in love in mysterious ways and loving until they’re seventy. I’ve decided seventy years isn’t long enough for me. If I had one wish, it would be for a dozen lifetimes with her.
Setting her hand in mine, the smile she gives me is brilliant and blinding. I want to drop to my knees and beg her to marry me, to bind herself to me forever. Right here. Right now. Instead I lead her out to the dance floor and twirl her in my arms before pulling her close, enjoying her laugh.
With her left arm around my neck, I place our twined hands against my heart and my forehead against hers, swaying gently to the music. There are so many things I want to say, but none of them seem adequate to express what I’m actually feeling.
Watching my brother marry Livia—the woman he spent five years pining away for—was surreal. It made me believe that love really can conquer all. Despite all the odds, they found each other again. The love that filled that small chapel was pure and rare and tangible, and you’d have to be dead inside for it not to choke you up.
I want that. I want her. I want her in my arms every single day. I want marriage. Children. Grandchildren. I want an entire lifetime with her by my side. And I want it yesterday. I’m happy for Gray and I can honestly say I haven’t been jealous of any of my brothers a day in my life. Until today. He now has everything I want. I won’t rest until I get it, too.
Not caring that my entire family may be looking on, I lean down and capture her mouth. She’s tentative at first, but quickly gives in to the chemistry that always draws us tightly together. I kiss her softly, teasing her closed lips with my tongue until she allows me entry.
“You’re very good at this,” she says quietly after I break away and nuzzle her ear, nibbling her lobe lightly.
“At what? Kissing?”
“Kissing. Dancing. Seducing. Everything.”
“Alyse,” I whisper hoarsely, pulling her as tight to me as I can. “God, I am madly in love with you.”
“Show me,” she implores breathlessly, her words teasing, pleading.
Don’t have to ask me twice.
Grabbing her hand, I walk us the short distance to where Gray and Livia are dancing, completely lost to each other.
“We’re heading out,” I tell Gray, bringing him in for a quick hug. Turning to Livia, I squeeze her tightly as Alyse talks to Gray. “I’m so happy for you and Gray, Livia. You’ve made him a very happy man.”
“Thanks, Asher. That means a lot.”
I look away briefly, embarrassed for how I’ve treated her. “I have a different perspective on things now.”
“I know.” She winks knowingly. “Take care of Alyse. She’s…fragile.”
“She’s stronger than you think,” I reply.
She drops her voice so only we can hear. “I don’t want to see her hurt.”
“It won’t be by me,” I promise her. “Enjoy your honeymoon.” In about twenty-four hours, they’ll be basking on the sunny beaches of the Maltese Islands. “Talk to you guys when you get back in two weeks.”
Taking Alyse’s hand in mine, I lead her silently to the elevator bank and impatiently wait for a car to open. When it does, I pull her inside and push the button for the seventeenth floor, wishing there were sixty floors in this hotel so I could have more time alone with her. I want to fuck her against the cherry wood paneling until her voice is raw and her body is a twisted mass of want and need.
I stand on the opposite side of the steel compartment once the doors close, not wasting any time.
“Take off your panties,” I demand, locking eyes with her.
She doesn’t hesitate, dropping a very damp nude thong on the elevator floor beside her.
“Pull up your dress, not quite all the way, and spread your legs.” Within seconds I can see her nether lips. Fuck. They’re already glistening. “Show me how much you want me, Alyse,” I growl. I fist my hand to my side to keep from stroking myself.
When I see a finger disappear into her slick folds and come out coated, I close the distance between us. In a flash I’m kneeling in front of her, my mouth sucking her finger clean before latching onto her pussy. She moans loudly, digging her hands into my hair, as I feast on her with single-minded intent—to make her come before we reach our floor. She’s so damn responsive. In record time she reaches the peak, crying out my name as her thighs clamp my head tightly, her body convulsing in pleasure.
“Asher, God,” she sobs.
She’s floating down, her body still trembling when the elevator slow to a stop right before I hear the ding. Placing a smattering of kisses on her inner thighs, I reluctantly rise, pull down her dress and tug her into me with an arm around her waist just as the doors open.
Two college-age boys stand right outside waiting to go down. By the looks on their faces and their gaze at Alyse’s panties lying on the tile floor, they know exactly what happened in the forty-five second ride to the top.
I smirk and bend down to scoop them up, stuffing them into my pants pocket as they watch in attentive fascination. Learn something, boys.
“Gentlemen, have a good night,” I nod, stepping past them with Alyse’s hand tucked securely in mine.
“Looks like you already did,” one of them joked.
“I’m just getting started,” I mutter, not caring if they heard or not. I stop at our room, making short work of the locked door. By the catch in Alyse’s breath, she heard, and that’s all that matters.
That, and sliding into her silky heat while she’s bent over our bed, ass in the air, in nothing but those sexy fucking shoes in…
Five…
…
Four…
…
Three…
…
Two…
…
…
…
Ahhh. Fucking. Heaven.
Chapter 36
Alyse
For two days I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out how I’m going to meet with Beck without letting Asher know. The night of the wedding, I told Cooper I was ready to talk to him and asked him to text me
Beck’s phone number, which he did on Sunday. I saved it under B, but I haven’t called him yet.
I don’t want to see him in public, because I’m quite sure there will be plenty of yelling and screaming and crying. All on my part, of course, and I don’t want to have another public meltdown. I definitely don’t want to meet Beck at his place, but I can’t do it at mine either, because I spend every free minute with Asher and that’s simply too risky.
But now that I’ve decided to talk to him, I just want to get it behind me so I can heal and forgive. Move on. With Asher. So whether it’s luck or divine intervention, Asher has an emergency meeting he’s been called to in Detroit this afternoon. Some very important client has filed a lawsuit claiming fraudulent behavior from one of his financial advisors, so he needs to meet with the client tonight and then the advisor and his team of attorneys if the client meeting doesn’t go well, which he’s not expecting.
“I’m sorry, baby. This client has been a pain in the ass for years. I’ve just been waiting for him to pull some sort of shit like this. Usually I can keep him under wraps with a few expensive dinners and bottles of Scotch. I need to nip it in the bud before it goes public. We can’t afford that kind of negative publicity along with this embezzling issue that I’m sure we won’t be able to keep under wraps much longer.”
“It’s okay, Asher. You’re the big boss. You need to handle this. I get it. I’ll be fine.”
“You sure I can’t convince you to come with me?” he asks, cornering me against the cold window in his office. His mouth descends to my neck, nipping and sucking veeeery persuasively. If I didn’t have this thing with Beck hanging over my head, it would probably have worked.
“I can’t. You want me to catch your perpetrator, don’t you?” For once I have very conflicted feelings about doing my job. Once you find that elusive thread, the rest seems to unravel quickly. In fact, I could probably return to Detroit and finish the audit there, but I won’t.
He groans. “I’m not sure anymore.”
