“I love you,” he said huskily.
With each thrust he claimed her as his, leaving her useless for any other man in the universe. “Beck,” she whimpered.
He went completely still. With an unwavering gaze and clenched jaw he promised, “I’m yours.”
“For ever,” she added.
He smiled. “Since the first day I met you.”
He tilted her hips and thrust again. Heat fanned and flamed, bursting through every pore of her skin. Beck surged deeper and deeper until he blinked and moaned. He shuddered and came just before her, but continued thrusting until everything locked tight and molten spasms rolled through her center.
Jan licked her lips and savored every last shiver and roll, loving Beck’s weight pressed against her body. The man she loved. The man who’d finally forgiven her.
After a bit, he nibbled her earlobe and rolled aside then gathered her close. She cuddled next to him, equally loving this moment. His life force beat steadily beneath her ear, mesmerizing and lulling her until she fell asleep.
Jan wasn’t sure how long she’d slept, but when she woke up Beck was out of bed, dressed and pacing. She sat up. The room edged toward twilight.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“Six,” he said, coming to a stop. “I need to take you home.”
Had he changed his mind? Dread crept like an injured animal across her mind. Don’t panic. “Did you get called into work or something?”
“No. I’ve been making plans.”
“Plans?”
“Yeah. Plans about not re-enlisting after this tour. Plans about transferring out of SWAT. Plans about using the GI education bill to get my PA license so I can work in an ER and really make a difference.”
“Sex really energizes you, I guess,” she said, trying to keep things light and work through the implications of his brainstorm.
He chuckled. “I’ve got more plans, too.”
“Really?’ Cause that sounds like a lot of plans for one afternoon.”
“Pack your bags. We’re going to Las Vegas. I’m not leaving the country without you being my wife.”
“Fantastical!” Though stunned to the point of breathlessness, and riding a thrill so high she could almost touch heaven, practicality set in. “But haven’t you forgotten something?”
“If I can get time off work, I’m sure you can, too.”
Still reeling with excitement, she screwed up her face and gave him an impudent glare.
“Look, I promise when I come back from Afghanistan we’ll have a real wedding. A big wedding, if that’s what you want. But we don’t have time for that now.”
She put her hands on her hips and continued with her call-my-bluff glare.
A brief confused expression moved like a passing cloud over his face. Understanding dawned and the look quickly changed to a warm smile. The most gorgeous smile Jan had ever seen, where the brackets around his mouth turned into deep dimples and his eyes twinkled though they were scrunched tight.
Switching gears from “Hurry up” to “This is the most important moment in our lives” he sat on the edge of the bed, took her hand, drew it to his warm, full lips and kissed her knuckles.
“January,” he whispered, gazing lovingly into her eyes. “Will you marry me?”
Two months later Jan parked in the employees’ parking lot and smiled when her gaze happened on the ortho tech and his main squeeze, necking by their car. It made her long to be in Beck’s arms again. She remembered their last kiss, when she’d had to send him off for duty with the National Guard. She’d bitten back her fear and kissed him with her soul, not caring that it was broad daylight and there had been hundreds of people milling around, saying their good-byes to loved ones. They were man and wife and would spend the rest of their lives together, if he made it safe and sound through his tour of duty.
Somehow she’d survive the unbearable months since then and they’d pick up where they’d left off. Deeply in love. Devoted to one another. Crazy in lust! She sighed and practically floated past the Mercy Hospital parking-lot lovers, examining her wedding band. Though simple, it was solid and real, like their love, and she knew that wherever he was he wore the matching ring. That thought had helped her through the tough times. Refusing to accept any other ending, one day they’d never be apart again.
In the meantime, she’d have to settle for e-mail and phone calls, and when she was really lucky an occasional web-cam visit. And in between she’d been communing with her maker. Especially since her body had started whispering to her about wonderful things to come. Mostly she’d ignored the hints, nowhere near ready to deal with the possibilities.
No sooner had Jan arrived in the bustling ED than Carmen started counting off orders. “We need a blood gas in room three and a central venous line dressing change in room seven. Room two is passing a kidney stone and is waiting for an IVP before Gavin decides if he needs to go to the OR to have a stent placed. He could use another pain shot. If you’ve got a chance, room five needs some stitches removed.”
Jan glanced around the department, and not a single soul was sitting down. Constant movement in and out of the exam rooms by doctors, nurses, and techs foretold how her evening would go. And she was glad! The busier she was, the quicker time would pass. Days would turn into weeks and weeks into months and in four months, she’d be holding Beck in her arms again.
She stopped momentarily and inhaled the familiar odor of harsh hospital disinfectant mixed with the odor of an endless sea of bodies spilling through the ER doors. Something she’d smelled regularly made her queasy today.
After tending to the kidney-stone patient’s pain med needs, Jan gathered a blood-gas kit and headed for room three.
She’d use the radial artery for her sample, so a smaller and shorter needle would be fine. The test would assess the respiratory function and acid-base status of this first-visit patient suspected of having emphysema.
Jan found a frail, bone-thin woman who looked well beyond her stated sixty-five years. Her history revealed a two-pack-a-day cigarette habit of approximately forty years. Though she’d noticed shortness of breath for the last couple of years, today, according to her daughter, the patient had started laughing while watching television. The laugh had turned into her usual rattling cough then progressed until the patient hadn’t been able to breathe. It had scared her enough to bring her to the ER. Jan’s job, by collecting the specimen, was to find out how compromised her lungs were.
After explaining the procedure and using aseptic technique, Jan opened the blood-gas kit. She filled the provided plastic bag with ice, then rolled a towel and extended the patient’s wrist across it. After locating the arterial pulse, she cleansed the area thoroughly with antiseptic then donned gloves and fixed the artery in place between her index and middle fingers. She warned the patient it would be uncomfortable and, using a heparinized syringe, she introduced the needle through the skin and deeper into the pulsing vein.
“Ouch,” the patient said, dutifully holding her wrist still.
“I’m sorry,” Jan whispered in deep concentration. When the syringe spontaneously filled with bright red blood, she knew she’d hit her mark. After attaining 2 ml, she withdrew the needle and immediately placed a pressure dressing on the patient’s wrist. “Press on that for five minutes.” The patient used her free hand to do as she’d been instructed.
Jan carefully removed any air bubbles from the syringe then utilized the safe needle disposing system before labeling and placing the specimen on ice for transport to the lab.
After making sure the patient applied enough pressure to her arterial wound, Jan left the room just as the orderly came to transport the patient to Radiology for a chest X-ray.
“Don’t let up on that pressure for five minutes,” Jan reiterated as the sparrow-thin woman was helped into a wheelchair.
“I won’t,” the patient said in a wheezy voice followed by a phlegmy cough.
Already planning her central line
dressing change on the next patient, if she was lucky the evening would be nonstop and soon she’d get to go home and cross off one more day on her countdown-to-Beck calendar. One more day closer to seeing her husband.
She still thrilled at the thought that she and Beck were married. They’d opted for an intimate gimmick-free chapel in Las Vegas, where a pastor had been available to perform the wedding ceremony instead of a justice of the peace. And though their witnesses had been total strangers, she and Beck repeated their vows as if no one else existed in the world.
He’d promised a big wedding when he returned, but she’d rather spend the money on a special honeymoon. Though she was pretty sure Carmen would never speak to her again if she didn’t at least throw a party!
By eight o’clock Jan was ready for her dinner break. The day had been warm and she suspected the night would be balmy. Rather than spend her precious break time cooped up in the nurses’ lounge, she decided to take her brown-bag dinner outside.
Usually, she’d fill a foam cup with the false energy of hot coffee and cream, but tonight she opted for cranberry juice and headed for the ER exit. Finding her favorite hideout bench surrounded by bushes, she sat down and opened her sandwich pack. While she ate, she went over her last phone call from Beck in her mind. He was safe, in a relatively inactive insurgent area. He’d been very excited about receiving a letter from Meghan and had read Jan every word. Before hanging up, he’d told her again how much he loved and missed her, then whispered a few things he intended to do to her once he came home. As always, she’d jokingly told him she’d never forgive him if he didn’t keep himself safe. Then had come the long torturous silence before they’d had to say goodbye and hang up. She’d make it through this one last separation. Then they’d never be apart again.
A few bites into her meal she saw a young woman hustle by, carrying a cardboard box.
Curiosity got the better of her and Jan peered out from her secluded spot to see a girl, seemingly torn about leaving the box by the emergency department doors.
A chill drove down Jan’s spine. She rushed toward her and heard what sounded like a mewing kitten.
“Let me help you,” Jan said.
The young woman stood right in front of the ER notice with the official logo for the Safe Surrender project. Mercy Hospital, and every other ER in Los Angeles since 2001, had been deemed a baby drop-off point to assuage the horrendous act of leaving unwanted babies at random spots around the city or, worse, in Dumpsters.
The girl looked as though she wanted to bolt.
Jan carefully opened the flaps of the box and wanted to cry when she saw what was inside. A precious newborn. Had she been born today?
The law clearly stated that the mother could drop off her baby within 72 hours of birth with no questions asked, as long as she handed it to someone and the infant was unharmed.
“Come inside. Let us see to your needs,” Jan said.
The girl shook her head vehemently.
“We can help you. Don’t you want to make sure you don’t hemorrhage or have any complications?”
It was optional for the mother to fill out a health history, but more importantly the mother could be issued a bracelet and a matching one was placed on her baby to allow for a cooling-off period during which she could change her mind and get her baby back. After thirty days without contact, the baby would be put up for adoption.
The young brunette loped into the night. “I’m OK,” she called over her shoulder. “Just take care of the baby.”
“What’s your name?”
“Andrea.”
Jan gulped in air. Adrenaline shot out of every organ in her body. Chasing after a runaway teenage mother was not an option. The baby must come first.
From the look of the little one it was no more than a few hours old. What was she supposed to do?
A million questions rushed through Jan’s head, but the biggest question occupying her brain was what had driven the girl to leave her baby and run?
The plethora of questions would have to wait, and would most likely go unanswered. A newborn needed medical attention, and Jan would see to it the infant got the best Mercy Hospital could give.
Jan swooped down and gingerly lifted the baby from the box lined with newspapers. The baby still had vernix on her skin and, peeking under the gaping disposable diaper, Jan saw that the umbilical cord was long and still attached. It could have been chewed off by the looks of the jagged cut.
Had the girl gone through labor and delivered by herself?
Sorrow flooded Jan’s heart. The poor babies. Both of them. She looked ruefully at the infant, her chest constricting. “Poor darlin’, let me get you inside.”
Before she stepped into the ER Jan glanced around the parking lot for any sign of the teenager. Then she rummaged through the box, hoping to find a note. Nothing.
The baby would start out her life motherless and abandoned. How could the mother do that? Whoa. Hold on there. Couldn’t the same be said about her? Until she’d convinced him otherwise, Beck had felt the same way about what Jan had done. How could Jan possibly judge this girl? Maybe the drop-off mother had done the wrong thing, but she’d done it for the right reason…to give her baby a chance.
Before her heart could break she muttered, “Come on, sweetie. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Jan caused quite a stir rushing into the ER holding an abandoned baby. “What do we do now?” she asked.
“I’ll give Children’s Services a call.” Carmen went right into policy and procedure mode, taking just enough time to glance at the baby, a girl. Carmen mouthed “Cute” while waiting for the phone to be answered.
“We’ve got to keep her warm. Becky,” Jan called to another nurse. “Can you get a blanket from the warmer, please?”
Jan held the baby snugly to her chest to help keep her body temperature up and to let the baby hear a heartbeat. The infant deserved nothing less.
A sudden memory of the first time she’d held Meghan flashed into her mind. The incredible wonder of holding a life that had grown inside her body had been overwhelming. Bitter-sweet emotions had made her weep, knowing she’d have to say goodbye to her baby almost as quickly as she’d said hello. The nurse had been warm-hearted and compassionate and had allowed her to hold Meghan as long as she’d wanted. Eventually, reality had kicked in. Jan had promised her baby to an eagerly awaiting couple, who didn’t deserve to be kept waiting another moment. They would be the ones to bond with her daughter. They’d earned the right.
Uncomfortable prickles behind her eyes preceded blurred vision. The infant squirmed. Jan held her close and kissed the top of her head. Could she dare go through a pregnancy again? Lately, her tender breasts and bloated abdomen had had her thinking she might not have the choice, but she hadn’t tested herself…yet.
“Do we have any formula? How about dextrose water, at least?”
“I’m calling the pediatric doctor on call,” another nurse said, picking up the phone and dialing.
“Becky, can you bring a large basin and fill it with warm water? I need to clean this little one up.”
Becky nodded, hustling across the ER.
Once the pediatric doctor on call had been notified, Jan went to work, cleaning up the baby. Long, silky brown-tinged hair lay stuck to her slightly pointed head. Her dark blue eyes were trying to open, but kept shutting just as quickly as they popped open. The round face and flat nose weren’t her most beautiful features but newborns were never very pretty. And most importantly she had ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes. And Jan kissed each one.
From what Jan could gather, this baby was flawless, though a bit scrawny. A hearty wail belied her prematurity. The infant had definitely been born early, but Jan would leave just how early up to the peds doc to figure out.
“Don’t you worry about a thing, munchkin. Now that you’re all cleaned up, I’ll feed you.” The baby stretched and jerked and made another mewing sound. It was definitely time to feed.
Holding her close, Jan eased the bottle nipple into her mouth and was relieved to see a strong sucking reflex, which turned into a gobble fest. There was no telling how long the baby had been in the world, but she was definitely hungry.
For the first time in thirteen years, Jan let herself wonder what it would be like to have a baby of her own. A baby she’d never let go of. Maybe it was time to take that pregnancy test.
The newborn stopped sucking briefly, her little tongue pressed at the perfectly round opening of her Cupid’s-bow lips. Earnest eyes ventured open in the dimmed exam room. Jan smiled. “Hi, precious. Want to be friends?” Jan pulled two bracelets from her pocket. One was meant for the dropped-off infant and the other for the mother. Jan decided to keep Andrea’s bracelet for her, in case she changed her mind.
The baby girl seemed to be staring intently at Jan, though she knew newborns couldn’t focus. “Your eyes look so clear. If I got to name you, I’d call you Claire.” Maybe if she had another daughter one day, she’d name her that.
The peds doctor showed up just before Jan finished feeding the baby. The white-haired doctor reached out large hands and smiled. “Let’s have a look.”
When Children’s Services arrived, Jan spent half an hour answering their questions. Afterwards, they followed the baby and the pediatric nurse upstairs to the neonatal unit to complete their paperwork. Sensing a tremendous and immediate loss, Jan made her decision to buy a pregnancy test on her way home from work. And since she wanted to share the event with her husband, she’d e-mail Beck to call her as soon as she got home.
At three in the morning, Jan’s phone rang. It was Beck, and it was two p.m. Afghan time.
“I got your e-mail. Is everything all right?” he asked.
“Yes. Everything is wonderful.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I’ll be home in four more months. I can’t wait to get you naked.” His voice contained a smile.
Temporary Doctor, Surprise Father Page 15
