‘But,’ she put in, like a drowning woman attempting to cling to the raft of her old life, ‘I’ve got him down for an infant school on the mainland starting next September.
Their eyes met. ‘That’s not going to happen,’ he said quietly. ‘You must have realised that by now. Because not only do I need to marry in order to legitimise my succession, there is also the thorny subject of Cameron’s security if you were to return to Scotland.’
Caitlin flinched, because those particular words struck home. Several times she’d thought what might happen if she insisted on taking Cameron back—then letting him come out to visit his father on high days and holidays. Mightn’t Cameron start resenting the laughable contrast between life as a desert prince and life as an ordinary Scottish schoolboy? And what of the security aspect? No matter how much protection Kadir paid for, wouldn’t she be forever looking over her shoulder? Jumping at every unexpected sound and terrified someone would snatch away her beloved boy?
‘I can understand perfectly the reasons why you’ve asked me to marry you,’ she said slowly. ‘But you’ve made no mention of us in all this.’
‘Us?’ he said, as if she had just uttered a word he couldn’t comprehend.
‘About...about what it would be like for us to be man and wife.’
‘I think we could coexist quite—’
‘Happily?’ she inserted sarcastically.
‘Certainly without rancour,’ he amended coolly. ‘Neither of us seem to have had any complaints about the physical side of our relationship and I see no reason why that shouldn’t continue.’
‘Is that why you seduced me, Kadir?’ she questioned suddenly. ‘To lull me into a state of blissful dependence, knowing that one day it might serve you well?’
There was a pause. A pause which seemed to go on as his eyes just got blacker and blacker—unless you counted the furnace-bright spark at their centre. ‘I seduced you because I couldn’t get you out of my mind,’ he husked at last. ‘Because you were like a fire in my blood which would not be doused. You still are. Because no matter how often I feed my hunger for you, it still returns—even stronger than before.’ He slammed the pen down onto the desk and stared at her. ‘Is that what you wanted to hear, Caitlin?’
It was the most passionate thing he’d ever said and, almost without thinking, Caitlin placed her hand over the sudden jump of her heart before quickly letting it fall back down onto her lap. But he must have seen the gesture and correctly interpreted it because his eyes suddenly lost their blazing centre and became flat—almost matt.
‘But that is simply passion—or lust, depending on your definition. And if you’re holding out for love—if that’s what all this is about,’ he added softly, ‘then that I cannot do. This proposal comes unencumbered by any false promises, which will leave you permanently disappointed. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?’
And the weirdest thing was that Caitlin could understand. Now that he’d told her more about himself and she had pieced together some of the fragments of his past, she’d been able to work out some of the things which motivated this battle-scarred man. Born into a dysfunctional relationship which hadn’t worked on any level, he had pointed the finger of blame towards the unpredictability of emotion. He had considered his father a fool because he’d married for love, rather than duty, which was why he’d made duty his priority for his own wedding to Adiya.
But in the end, both duty and love had let him down—no wonder he was wary about relationships.
Yet with Cameron...
Caitlin felt her throat dry, wanting to hide from the truth, but knowing she couldn’t. Because the one bright element in this situation was watching Kadir’s relationship with his son blossom. They had hit it off from the get-go and it had been a pretty amazing thing to observe. Couldn’t the bond they shared be a new beginning, of sorts? Was it too much to hope that Kadir might come to trust those new feelings and spread them around, like the rays of light radiating from the sun?
Spread them to her?
Maybe. Maybe not. She certainly couldn’t enter into marriage if her sole objective was to get Kadir to love her, because he had ruled that out most emphatically. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t lead by example, or that she couldn’t hope things might one day change. Because how could a damaged man learn to love and trust unless he was shown the way? Couldn’t she demonstrate that she was willing to forget the past and move on from it? That there was more to a relationship than the stuff which happened in the bedroom—no matter how mind-blowing the sex happened to be.
She wondered briefly if she should make him wait. Play power games designed to show him she wasn’t a total pushover. But what would be the point of that? They’d start trying to score points off each other and the truth would disappear and all you’d be left with would be a couple of egos, battling for supremacy. And that was the last thing any of them needed.
So she pinned a smile to her lips and, to her surprise, her answer came easily. ‘Yes, Kadir,’ she said softly. ‘I will marry you.’
‘Good.’ For a long moment he studied her before rising up from behind the desk and walking over to the window, where he floated down the blinds, just as he had done once before. ‘I believe it is tradition at this stage to kiss,’ he said softly as he began to move towards her and she could feel an instant rush of heat.
His lips were hard but his kiss was sweet and with very few preliminaries he was rucking up her tunic with hands which were trembling—but weren’t hers trembling, too? He trickled his fingertip over the goosebumps which iced her thighs and as Caitlin squirmed ecstatically, he kissed her again. Seamlessly, he slid down her panties and laid her on the silken surface of the Persian carpet and it felt like a dream. The most delicious dream she’d ever had. Chandeliers and golden vaulted ceilings shimmered above them as Kadir lifted his robes to straddle her.
Yet despite being more turned on than she could ever remember, Caitlin felt a rush of emotion as she looked up into his shuttered face and lifted her trembling fingertips to the rough shadow at his jaw. Her body clenched around him as he made that first thrust and she breathed out a sigh of pleasure as he began to move. He was so big and so powerful—and the feeling was so incredible that for a moment she felt dangerously close to tears.
And right then all her wasted emotions were replaced by pure sensation as he silenced her cries of pleasure with his lips. Her orgasm was spiralling up inside her—so fast and perfect and inevitable. It slammed through her with such force that her head fell back against the rug and then Kadir began to come himself, his shuddered words soft, yet fractured.
For a long while afterwards she didn’t speak. She didn’t want to shatter the magic of the moment. But then dark realisation intruded and, insistently, she shook his shoulder. ‘Kadir. Don’t go to sleep.’
He opened his eyes. ‘What is it?’
‘You didn’t use any protection.’
‘No,’ he said, frowning. ‘There wasn’t time and I wasn’t thinking straight. Neither were you, or you would have reminded me.’
She sat up, raking her fingers through her tousled hair. ‘And that’s all it was—a momentary lapse caused by passion?’
Kadir considered her words. She had insisted that lies were a waste of time, and surely one of the perks of a situation like theirs was that you could afford to be honest. They weren’t pretending to be in love. They weren’t striving for the impossible goals which people chased and then felt short-changed when they didn’t materialise.
‘No, maybe that’s not all,’ he admitted slowly. ‘You are going to be my wife and I want the wedding to happen as soon as possible. Would it really make a big difference if you fell pregnant in the meantime?’
‘If I fell pregnant in the meantime?’ she echoed. Furiously, she reached for her discarded underwear. ‘We haven’t even discussed having another baby!’
‘But the main purpose of marriage is for procreation, surely. You want to give Cameron brothers and sisters, don’t you, Caitlin?’
‘That’s not the point!’ she hissed.
‘Why not?’
‘Why not?’ She jumped to her feet, slithering back into her panties. ‘You bang on about me being an independent woman—but you’re only paying lip service to it, aren’t you, Kadir? You say I can “do some work” for the Xulhabian tourist board, yet at the first opportunity you forget to use a condom!’ She drew in a deep breath. ‘Admittedly, I got carried away myself, and therefore I’m as much to blame as you for what just happened, but even so—you can’t just make out like it doesn’t matter.’
‘Caitlin—’ he said, rising to his feet.
‘Don’t you “Caitlin” me! Either you can see that what we just did was a big mistake, or already we’re in trouble.’
He drew in a deep breath, wishing he could brush the subject aside, but he recognised that she had a point. And it might be sensible to acknowledge that.
‘I was wrong,’ he admitted bluntly. ‘My actions were not premeditated and I wasn’t thinking straight. But in future I will make no such assumptions and we will add to our family only after mutual agreement, if at all. Does that satisfy you?’
‘I suppose so.’
‘So why don’t we turn our attention to something which is guaranteed to make you smile again?’
‘What is it?’ she questioned, not bothering to keep the sulk from her voice.
He picked up a previously unnoticed small leather box which was lying on his desk, flipping it open to reveal a huge diamond ring resting against a bed of dark velvet. The stone’s many facets sent out astonishing rays of rainbow light and it was undoubtedly the brightest thing in an already bright room. ‘Go on,’ he said, handing it to her. ‘Try it on.’
Caitlin lifted the ring from the box. She could tell he was making an effort and he was looking at her with an expression of quiet satisfaction, as though no woman could fail to love such an enormous rock. But all she could feel was the heavy weight of the cold stone. It was too big for her finger. Too big for any finger, really. It occurred to her that she might have liked it better if he’d slipped it on her hand himself. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she said dutifully.
‘It’s thirty-two carats,’ he murmured.
To Caitlin this piece of information meant precisely nothing. The only carrot she was familiar with was the kind she secretly blitzed into a tomato sauce as she endeavoured to get Cameron to eat more vegetables.
And suddenly she felt an unbearable wave of nostalgia for those simple days she suddenly realised would never come again.
CHAPTER TWELVE
SHE HAD A crown containing the biggest emerald in the world.
She wore glittering diamonds in her hair.
And a fitted golden wedding dress embroidered with thousands of tiny seed pearls, which gleamed milky and soft beneath the fretwork of lights in the palace ballroom. In fact, Caitlin was wearing so much precious finery she could barely move, and each time she did something jangled, leaving her feeling a bit like Tinkerbell. Thank goodness the bride’s walk towards the groom was traditionally slow, because she certainly couldn’t have managed it any faster. Yet, despite the circumstances which had brought her to this place, her stately passage towards her future husband had felt bright and magical and full of possibilities. Since the royal announcement of their wedding had ricocheted around the globe, Caitlin had clung to those feelings of hope and joy, holding them close to her like a talisman.
‘You look beautiful, Mama.’
The voice of her son butted into her thoughts and Caitlin looked down at a barely recognisable Cameron, clad in matching cloth of gold for his role as attendant to the bride. Some time during the last couple of weeks he had started substituting ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’ with ‘Mama’ and ‘Papa’, and she wondered if he’d learnt to do that during one of the royalty etiquette classes he had shared with his father.
‘Just like a queen!’ Cameron added, with a gap-toothed grin.
‘That’s because your mother is a queen now,’ said Kadir softly. ‘And you, my son, are a prince of the desert.’
‘Am I?’
‘You most certainly are. And when Mama and I have returned from our honeymoon in the desert, you and I are going riding together as all princes should.’
‘On my new horse?’
Kadir smiled. ‘On your new horse, yes. So you must think about what you’d like to call him and be very good for Morag while we’re away. Will you promise me you’ll do that?’
‘Oh, yes, Papa. I will.’
On cue, Morag stepped forward to take Cameron’s hand and as Caitlin watched him trotting away happily at his nanny’s side, she felt a weird twist of emotion—realising that this was the first time she’d ever spent a night apart from her little boy. Knowing that this was the first of many partings as the years took him towards adulthood. As he disappeared from view, she looked up to find Kadir’s black eyes studying her.
‘You’ll miss him?’ he questioned.
His perception startled her. ‘Yes.’
‘You’re a good mother, Caitlin,’ he said suddenly.
And that felt like the greatest compliment he could ever pay her. Better than telling her that her lips were soft or her hair like fire. Full of unexpressed emotion, she nodded. ‘Thank you.’
She was glad the day was almost over. There had been so many things to organise in this new country which was now her home. Fittings for her elaborate gown and rubber-stamping the carefully worded statements which had been sent out by Kadir’s office to the world’s press. She’d been asked to approve menus and decide on flowers. And then had come the long ceremony involving much feasting and intricate musical performances, before the culmination of the event when they had recited solemn vows in Xulhabian, which had required a lot of heavy-duty prepping on her part. Now her hennaed finger sported a heavy wedding band of glittering emeralds and sapphires—the colours of the Xulhabian flag.
She’d even been having lessons in camel-riding—their intended mode of transport for the honeymoon. And then last night, when her nerves had been at their most frayed and she had longed for Kadir’s embrace, tradition had reigned supreme and they had spent the night in separate beds, leaving her feeling slightly divorced from reality.
Divorce.
That was a word she probably shouldn’t be using—not in any sense. Because she had been made to understand that any formal dissolution of the marriage would be highly undesirable. Kadir had said as much soon after she had accepted his proposal.
‘I cannot fail this time, Caitlin.’ His words had been heavy. ‘And I cannot be seen to fail. The future of my country depends on stability and continuity.’
‘Neither of us will fail at this.’ Her own response had been fervent. She had meant every word. ‘This is too important. For both of us. And for our son.’
The train of camels which was taking them to their desert destination was a throwback to earlier times, when such a mode of transport had been the only one available. She and Kadir each had a camel—hers was called Lutfi—with two bodyguards riding in front and behind. Servants had already been dispatched to the oasis where a camp had been set up and, just as the sun was sinking, they rode into the clearing, where a huge Bedouin tent awaited them. Outside, glowing lamps were already lit and, in the distance, someone was playing a musical instrument she didn’t recognise, which sounded magical and enchanting.
In the distance, lush palm trees fringed a space of water and Caitlin sucked in a disbelieving breath as Kadir helped her down from her camel, as she witnessed the most stunning sunset she had ever seen. Celestial fire and flame were turning the sand blood-red and she could see touches of indigo and saffron bruising the edges of the sky.
‘Oh, but it’s beautiful,’ she exclai
med.
And so was she, thought Kadir, as he watched her delicate features light up. He felt almost...elated—something rare enough to be remarkable. He had been taken aback by the fleeting sense of joy which had clutched at his heart during the ceremony—a strange reaction for someone who had vowed never to marry again. But he had put his reaction down to Cameron’s presence by his mother’s side and the pleasing fact that his country’s succession was now assured. He’d convinced himself that his continuing contentment was due to nothing more complicated than paternal satisfaction and a sense of having got his own way—as well as anticipation about the wedding night ahead.
He glanced across at his bride.
Freed of her wedding attire, her fiery hair accentuated by the setting sun and her tunic billowing in the faint desert breeze, she looked almost at one with the land. Wild and carefree, her appearance touched something unknown and deep at the very core of him, which made his blood begin to pulse with honeyed sweetness. Breaking into a stream of rapid Xulhabian, he spoke to all the attendant staff—bodyguards included—who quickly began moving away from the proximity of the Bedouin tent.
‘What did you say to them?’ Caitlin asked, once they had all disappeared.
He lifted her up into his arms then, her hair flame-bright against the pale silk which covered his chest. ‘I told them I wished to be alone with my new bride and they should not come near us again until I summon them,’ he growled. ‘Later, I will show you the stars in the heavens, which will be brighter than any stars you have ever seen. But in the meantime, I believe it is another of your British traditions to be carried over the threshold.’
‘I believe it is,’ she said, a smile curving her lips as he pushed back the canvas flap and dipped his head to carry her inside.
But to his pleasure—and his relief, for he was unbearably turned on—Caitlin didn’t make any predictable comments about how deceptively large the tent was, nor did she coo or swoon over the luxurious brocades and silks which were scattered over the divans. She didn’t even notice the large, beribboned box which sat on a small table beside the widest divan. Instead she was eagerly lifting her head for his kiss, her hands clutching at his shoulders as if she were feeling his body for the first time. And suddenly his hands were moving over her with equal impatience, as if it were an eternity since he had been intimate with her, rather than a single night. Their robes pooled to the ground and at last they were naked, their bodies illuminated by the fretwork flicker of the intricate lights which dangled from the ceiling.
The Sheikh's Royal Announcement Page 12
