by Jaye Wells
A throat cleared from the doorway. We turned to find Special Agent Miranda Gardner standing at the entrance of the lab. That morning she wore simple brown pantsuit with an ivory shell. Her shoes bore a no-nonsense inch-tall heel, also in brown. The only jewelry she wore was a tiger-eye cabochon ring she never seemed to take off her middle finger.
“My office, two minutes,” she said. She had that look on her face. The one that meant she either hadn’t had her coffee yet or had just gotten off the phone with Captain Eldritch. In her hand she held a simple white mug half-full of the instant coffee she preferred, so it was safe she wasn’t about to pull rank at the coffeepot. “And Morales?” she added.
He raised his brows. Mez took advantage of Morales’s distraction to fill his own mug.
Gardner smiled tightly. “Make that second highest ranking.”
Morales grinned. “Yes, sir.”
Without another word she turned on her heel and marched back toward her office. I jumped in front of Morales, grabbing the second cup from the special pot. Judging from the look on his face, the offense ranked up there with making fun of his mama. I stuck my tongue at him and filled his cup for him. “There, you big baby. Let’s go see what the boss lady wants.”
Gardner’s office wasn’t anything to write home about. A simple metal desk, a filing cabinet, and an ancient office chair. A couple of thin wooden planks that served as bookshelves. Single window cloudy as milk glass offering pitiful light. On top of her desk were a blotter, a phone, and a sign that read, NO BULLSHIT BEFORE FIVE P.M. I knew from personal experience she wasn’t too fond of it after five, either.
“Sit down.” She took her own seat. “Captain Eldritch will join us momentarily.”
I frowned. “He’s coming here?”
Eldritch used to be my boss before I joined the MEA task force. He was the captain of the Cauldron precinct of the Babylon Police Department. He specialized in Arcane crimes and political maneuvering, not necessarily in that order. He’d encouraged me to take the gig with the MEA in the hopes I’d be his insider gal, but once he realized I was more interested in solving crimes than earning brownie points our professional rapport had suffered. Still, he hadn’t argued about granting me a promotion to detective after my first case with MEA resulted in the arrest of one of the Cauldron’s most powerful wizards.
She nodded to the phone. “He’s on his way up.”
Morales shot me a grimace. A call from my former boss was usually bad enough, but a personal visit? Could only mean trouble.
The sound of footsteps trudging up stairs from the other end of the gym announced Eldritch’s arrival. A few seconds later Mez called out a greeting that was met with a grumble. A good sign. If he’d been in a shitty mood, he wouldn’t have responded at all.
Two seconds later the door to Gardner’s office was filled with the bulk of Captain Robert Eldritch. There was a coffee stain on the wide belly of his off-white dress shirt. His forehead shone with beads of sweat from the exertion of hefting his bulk up the steps. The brass clip on his navy-blue tie had been given to him by the mayor himself when Eldritch had been promoted to captain several years earlier. Now he was angling for the gold tie clip and sweet pay-grade increase a promotion to chief of police would earn him.
“How well you know Aphrodite Johnson?” This was his only greeting and when he said it, he was staring right at me.
My shoulders lifted even as my hopes plummeted. Here we go, I thought, back in the shit. I self-consciously tugged my left sleeve down to cover the Ouroboros tattoo on my wrist that marked me as a made member of the Votary Coven. I’d never had it removed because the snake winding around my flesh was a reminder of the viper pit I’d escaped a decade earlier.
“Hold on,” Gardner cut in. Clearly she wasn’t going to let Eldritch stroll in and take over. “You mean the head of the O Coven?”
“I’m impressed you’ve done your homework on the covens, Gardner,” he said.
Her eyes went all cold steel on him. “I’ve been brushing up on Cauldron politics when I’m not busy picking up your precinct’s slack.”
Eldritch’s eyes narrowed.
I stepped in to defuse the tension. “Yes, Aphrodite is the Hierophant of the Mystical Coven of the Sacred Orgasm.”
Morales perked up the instant he heard the word orgasm. “Since the O’s are a sex magic coven, does that make the Hierophant like a madam?”
“Something like that,” I said. Pimp also worked, depending on the day.
“How well do you know Aphrodite personally?” Eldritch pressed me.
When you call yourself Aphrodite, you have to have either some serious confidence or a well-developed sense of irony. Judging from my dealings with the Hierophant of the O Coven, Aphrodite Johnson was in possession of both.
I sighed. “More than I’d like, honestly. The Hierophant was an old ally of Uncle Abe’s.” Aphrodite also knew my mother very well, but I didn’t want to get into my mother’s scandalous associations at the moment.
“How did she escape getting caught up in the net when he was arrested?” Morales asked.
I didn’t bother correcting his presumption of using the feminine pronoun with Aphrodite. We’d get to the Hierophant’s gender situation eventually.
“The O’s are a special case,” Eldritch said with a scowl. “Back in the ’seventies the Hierophant’s predecessor, Matahari Jenkins, figured out how to get the coven registered as a religious organization on account of them using sex magic as a form of worship, which is why they call Aphrodite a Hierophant instead of just a wizard. Anyway, now they get to skirt all sorts of pesky laws and avoid paying taxes.”
Morales laughed. “That’s actually kind of brilliant.”
“It would be if it didn’t mean that a lot of their members get away with everything from prostitution to human trafficking and rape,” I added. That wiped the smile off Morales’s face. “Why are you asking about Johnson, sir?”
Eldritch crossed his arms. “It seems one of the O’s ‘houses of worship’ was robbed last night.”
I frowned. “Okay? What does that have to do with us?”
“She claims the thief got away with about fifty thousand dollars’ worth of sex magic potions.”
“Again,” Gardner said, “how is that our problem?”
Eldritch sighed and dropped the combative expression. “Look, I’m up to my ass in potion freaks who think the full moons are excuses to raise hell all over the city. I don’t have enough detectives on staff to deal with Johnson right now, especially with Prospero on your team.”
Technically, I still worked for the BPD. The MEA paid for my overtime, but the city of Babylon still cut my paychecks. The task force model had been pioneered by the MEA a few years earlier to get more local law enforcement involved in bringing down large covens. It helped the feds navigate around some pesky jurisdictional issues, and allowed local cops like me to get experience and major federal busts under their gun belts.
My brows rose. “In other words, you suspect this is another vengeance stunt.”
“Something like that.” Eldritch nodded.
“Explain,” Gardner said.
“Aphrodite is famous for holding grudges over the slightest insult. S/he’s called the cops a couple of times after framing enemies for crimes they didn’t commit.”
“If you knew she was framing them, why isn’t she in jail?” Morales asked.
“She’s slippery,” Eldritch said. “And has a lawyer that’s a crafty son of a bitch.”
“So let me see if I understand. You don’t have the manpower to send on a wild goose chase, but you’re more than willing to send federal agents on one? We’re already saving your ass by backing up your patrols. And, by the way, we’re still waiting on those extra officers we were promised to help my team bring down the covens.”
“You were cleared to have Detective Duffy from the First Precinct.”
The First was the main precinct in the Mundane areas of Babylon. Despite bei
ng an Adept, Duffy had managed to work his way up to a reputation as one of the best homicide detectives in the city. In Gardner’s opinion, the more Adept cops she could get fighting the covens, the better the MEA’s chances of closing some major busts. Problem was, most Adepts in law enforcement went into forensics or lab work. We tended to be pretty scarce on the investigative side, since most cops distrusted Adepts to solve cases without employing magic.
Upon hearing Duffy’s name, I grimaced, bracing for Gardner’s explosion.
Instead of yelling, she gritted her teeth. “You know damned well Duffy turned us down.”
Eldritch shrugged. “Yeah, I heard that. Too bad,” he said, sounding anything but disappointed. “Since you couldn’t convince him, you’re just going to have to wait until my crews aren’t working overtime to keep the Blue Moon bullshit contained.” Gardner opened her mouth to respond, but Eldritch wasn’t done. “And as for building cases against the covens, wouldn’t working on a case involving one of the covens be right in line with your mission?”
“Not if we’re busy tracking down false leads on the Hierophant’s behalf!”
Eldritch’s lips curved. “Shall I call the mayor and ask him to send you an engraved invitation?”
She blew out a sigh. As it was the MEA’s presence in Babylon was tenuous at best. We were coming up on an election, and Mayor Owens wanted to ensure the feds didn’t steal any of the credit for high-profile arrests. We already had one strike against us after a raid went awry during the Bane case. To be seen as uncooperative with the BPD when the Blue Moon was causing so much havoc would be a second strike we couldn’t afford.
“Fine. Morales and Prospero will go interview Johnson, but once we close that case, I expect at least one new head count the instant the Blue Moon passes and not a day more.”
Eldritch sucked his teeth for a moment. The move made his mustache dance on his top lip. “It’s a deal. But I expect to be kept in the loop on this.”
“No dice. You came to us. That makes this an MEA op. I’ll let you know if we need BPD assistance, but otherwise I’ll be making all the calls.”
It was clear Eldritch wanted to argue, but a smart leader knew when he’d gotten his way and didn’t push for more out of ego. “Fine. I have a meeting with the chief for lunch.” He glanced at his watch and then at Gardner. “I trust that as we get closer to the Blue Moon, your team will continue to be available to back up their brothers in blue?”
“And sisters, yes,” Gardner snapped. “Agent Pruitt is out with your Arcane squad as we speak.”
He nodded and tossed a file folder on the desk. “That’s the initial incident report from the unis who responded to the call. They didn’t find much.”
“As long as they didn’t fuck with the scene so our team wiz can do a thorough forensics search.”
He ignored that. “Just be sure you get this Aphrodite case closed fast. We’ll need more manpower, not less, the closer we get to Halloween.” With that Eldritch hitched up his pants and walked out of the office without so much as a good-bye.
The three of us remaining sat there until we heard his steps start down the staircase. Since he was finally out of range, Gardner let out the frustrated sigh she’d been holding. “Asshole.”
I bit my lip. Not because I disagreed, but because agreeing too vehemently was also a mistake. The relationship between those two changed depending on who needed favors, so it was just as likely that tomorrow she’d be singing his praises if he came through on one she needed.
“All right, Prospero, are you ready for this one?”
I nodded. “SSDD.” Translation: Same shit different day.
“Mez!” she called. A muted response filtered through the gym, which I assumed meant he was on his way.
“You two go in first with the interview,” Gardner said. “Mez will handle forensics.”
“Great,” I mumbled.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Aphrodite considers herself somewhat of a sexual guru. I’ll probably spend most of the interview defending Morales’s and Mez’s honor.”
“Defend my honor from whom?” Mez said, sticking his head through the door.
Gardner quickly filled him in on the situation.
“Doesn’t sound so bad, if you ask me,” he said with a smirk.
“Whatever you do, act natural when you see her/m,” I said.
“Did you say ‘herm’?” Morales’s eyebrows shot up.
“It’s short for ‘her/him,’ ” I explained. “Aphrodite’s a sacred hermaphrodite.”
“Oh shit,” Mez said. “Why didn’t you say that to begin with? I’m totally in.”
“I thought the term hermaphrodite was politically incorrect?” Gardner said.
“Technically it’s only incorrect to use for Mundanes born with both male and female androgens,” Mez explained, his voice rising in excitement. “But sacred hermaphrodites are created by wizards using powerful alchemical magic that makes a person exactly half-male and half-female.”
I nodded. “They’re the ultimate symbol of unity between the male and female energies of the universe. So they’re basically revered among Adepts and rarely challenged once they reach high levels within covens.”
“So they’re both sexes?” Morales asked, slack-jawed. “At the same time?”
I shook my head. “Usually there’s one in the lead, but Aphrodite likes to keep people off guard by switching in the middle of conversations. The trick is to watch for clues. If the male half is in the lead, you address using male pronouns. If the female is in charge, you use female.”
“How will we know?” Mez asked.
“Aphrodite’s voice and posture change according to who’s in charge.”
Morales blew out a breath. “This case is gonna be a real kick in the balls, isn’t it?”
I nodded. “Pretty much. S/he’s about as cuddly as a black widow on a good day, which of course today is not seeing how the temple was violated and some asshole stole the Hierophant’s potions.”
“Oh yeah, and don’t forget we’re less than two weeks away from a monster Blue Moon,” Mez said helpfully. “So s/he’ll be feeling the effects of that shit.”
Morales rubbed his hands together. “I don’t know. Considering how dead it’s been around here lately, it kind of sounds like fun.”
“Remember those words later,” I said, “so you can regret them.”
On our way out to Morales’s car, he and I ran into the fifth member of the task force, Shadi Pruitt.
For the last week or so, she had been assigned to help the BPD’s Arcane unit do raids on corner boys to stem the flow of potions. With the moon’s unstable energy in play, the fewer people out there freaking on potions, the better.
Normally she moved like a petite bull looking for a china shop, but now she looked like she was pushing a freight train uphill. The circles under her eyes and pale cast to her normally dark complexion bore testament to the late nights she’d been serving to help out the patrol units.
“You look like someone beat you with a bag of dicks,” Morales called by way of greeting.
She flipped him the bird with her right hand. “Bite me, jackass.” Her words lacked any heat. “Where’s Mez?”
“Getting his kit ready,” Morales said. “He’s meeting us at a crime scene.”
“How’s it going out there?” I asked.
She sighed and pushed all her weight to her right hip. “Motherfuckers be trippin’ like usual.” She shrugged as if this was standard operating procedure, which, given we were working in a magical slum, it kind of was. “But it beats the hell out of patrol.”
We all nodded because it was true.
“What crime scene you headed to?” Shadi asked.
“Someone stole some sex potions from a sacred hermaphrodite,” Morales said.
If his announcement surprised her, she didn’t show it. “All right, I’m going to go check in with the boss lady and then head home for some shut-eye.” She y
awned so big her jaw popped. “But I’ll see ya tonight.”
From the corner of my eye, I caught a flash of movement coming from Morales, but when I looked up at him he looked clueless. To Shadi, I said, “Actually, I’ve got AA tonight.” I didn’t mention that I had no intention of attending the weekly Arcane Anonymous meeting, just as I’d skipped the previous six.
Shadi’s face changed into an expression I couldn’t read. Almost a cross between confusion and guilt. “Oh, uh. Yeah. Cool.”
After that, she left quickly. I shot Morales a look. “What was that about?”
He slipped on his aviators. “No idea. She’s probably just tired.”
I knew bullshit when I smelled it, but blew it off. Probably Morales and Shadi had plans to go grab a beer or something and hadn’t invited me. Wouldn’t be the first time. I didn’t take it personally. Those two were pretty tight, and, besides, they never invited anyone else, either.
I glanced at Morales as we walked toward his car. Part of me wondered if those two had a thing going on. They never showed any romantic interest at work. Sure, they teased each other, but it always seemed more like two siblings giving each other shit than the way a couple teased each other.
“What?” my partner asked suddenly.
I jumped, guilty at having been caught staring. But, hell, I thought, might as well ask. “Are you two—you know?” I made a vaguely obscene gesture with my fingers.
He stopped walking so fast I was shocked he didn’t get whiplash. “What?”
I waved toward the building. “You and Shadi.”
Instead of answering, he threw back his head and brayed like the jackass he was. I crossed my arms and tried to ignore the heat searing my cheeks. When the laughter finally slowed into chuckles, he gasped for breath. “Jesus Christ, Prospero, that’s the best laugh I’ve had in weeks.” He swiped at his eyes, even though I knew he hadn’t laughed that hard.
“So no?” I snapped.
He stilled and cocked his head at my overly pissed-off tone. “Wait, you’re serious?” At my look, he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “You mean you had no idea Shadi bats for Team Sappho?”
