Never.
Stephanie had never been scared that her gift would drive him away, until then.
More tears fell.
CHAPTER 12
Chaz was awake long before the alarm went off the next morning. He moved carefully so that he wouldn’t wake Stephanie when he got out of bed, selected a suit for work, selected sweat pants and a t-shirt so that he could go to the gym before going to the office, and went to take a shower in the bathroom down the hall. He knew he was being unreasonable; it wasn’t her fault that her gift was turning into something new. Transitioning. Getting deeper. Whatever. Still, he was angry. Since he didn’t want to take that anger out on her, he decided to go to work early. Maybe he’d be able to talk things out with her that evening.
Stephanie knew that she was alone the second her eyes opened. She could feel the emptiness of the house. And she couldn’t feel her husband: couldn’t sense his emotions, not even the anger that he obviously had toward her.
She got dressed, had a piece of toast with marmalade and a cup of decaf coffee for breakfast, and went to work. There was nothing else she could do.
Around 11:00, Cherise walked into Stephanie’s office and closed the door. She settled into one of the chairs in front of the desk and studied her employee’s face.
“Thanks to you, Derrick and I are trying to revive our romantic relationship. Now, I know your personal life is none of my business; but since you overstepped and helped me reconnect with the man I love, I’m going to return the favor.” She paused briefly to see whether Stephanie would jump into the silence. She didn’t.
“You haven’t worked here very long, but your positive personality has never wavered. Not once. Not even when the pregnancy makes you tired and nauseous.” She smirked to stop whatever Stephanie intended to say. “Yes, I know you’re pregnant. The point is that I’ve never seen you upset like this, and I’m guessing that you look miserable because of your husband.” Stephanie nodded because she was too choked up to talk.
“Somehow, Derrick and I forgot that we love each other and that nothing else should have been more important. We each thought we had the answers to how life should go, but we didn’t. We could have gotten through anything if we’d just realized that neither one of us had to be in charge, that both people have to protect what they have.” She stood and straightened her suit.
“Take the rest of the day off. Go home. Make a nice dinner and figure out how you’re going to fix this.”
“What makes you think our problem is my fault?”
“Because if it was his, you’d be angry—not scared.”
Stephanie thought about that for only a split second before she nodded. This situation wasn’t exactly her fault, but she was the only one who could come up with a solution. She, in reality, was the one who needed to fix this.
She thought hard as she gathered her personal items, drove to the grocery store, figured out what would be a romantic dinner, and drove home. When she got there, she was surprised to see Chaz’s SUV in the garage. Would he want to see her? Would he be willing to listen to the solution she’d come up with? Or would he still be too angry to even be in the same room with her?
Stephanie sighed and reminded herself that her husband loved her. He couldn’t live without her any more than she could live without him. He couldn’t stay angry forever. At some point, he’d have to listen to what she had to say. She shook her head. This was so unlike their relationship: the tension, avoidance, lack of communication. She knew what to do. Now, she needed him to give her time to do it.
The smells from the kitchen hit her as soon as she opened to door from the garage to the house. Spaghetti sauce? Chaz was at the counter chopping zucchini. He looked up when his wife entered the room. Without saying a word, he took the recyclable grocery bags from her and set them on the floor in front of the counter.
“Chaz—”
“Don’t say anything.” He stood in front of her and reached for her hands. “I was a jerk, and a selfish ass, and an immature idiot. I knew that what I was doing was hurting you, but I didn’t stop myself because … well, because all I wanted to do was wallow in self-pity. I’m sorry; from the bottom of my heart, I’m very, very sorry. So, if you will forgive me, I promise that this—me pushing you away—won’t ever happen again.” When she didn’t immediately respond, he said, “I’m making lasagna as a peace offering.”
She pulled his hands so that she could wrap his arms around her back as she stepped closer. Her eyes locked onto his.
“There’s no way for me to not forgive you, Chaz. There’s never going to be a time where I’ll allow us to be broken. Never. It doesn’t matter what the problem is or who has to fix it. Right here, in your arms, is where I belong. And you belong right here in my arms. So, yes I accept your apology, and after you kiss me and fix me a glass of wine, I’ll tell you how we can make this problem go away.”
She took another step toward him until their bodies were touching before she wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her face up to accept a kiss.
Chaz’s lips captured hers in a tender exchange full of everything that needed to be said between them. His arms crushed her tightly against him with the possessiveness he always directed toward her. She was his. And he was hers.
“Lasagna, hmm?” She could barely breathe after that kiss and also because Chaz didn’t let up on showering her with affection. His mouth traveled down her neck and onto her shoulder, biting her gently through the fabric of her dress. “I guess we can have orange chicken and homemade egg rolls tomorrow.” Chaz leaned back and looked at her.
“You were going to make my favorite meal?”
“Yep.”
“But, you weren’t the one acting like an ass last night.”
“I told you, I’ll never allow us to be broken. If feeding you meant you would talk to me—or at least listen to what I need to say—does it matter who did what?”
His hands moved to frame her face. Love and awe shone through his apologetic eyes.
“How did I get this lucky? You are more amazing than I even know how to find words for.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She kissed him lightly before pushing him away. “Don’t get distracted. You’re only about halfway through making that sauce.” The smile she gave was one of relief and understanding. It only lasted a minute, though, before it was devoured by his mouth. “I’m not joking,” she said with a laugh when he finally allowed her to pull away. “That lasagna is going to take at least another two hours. Get back to work. I’m going to change clothes”
“I’ll put these groceries away,” Chaz offered.
“Thanks.” Stephanie’s steps were much lighter going up the stairs than they had been coming down them that morning. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face.
Forty-five minutes later, the lasagna had been assembled and was in the oven, the couple was near the end of the bottle of non-alcoholic wine, and they were on the sofa in the family room with her legs on his lap and his fingers giving a gentle massage to her feet and calves.
“Would you like to know the solution to our problem?” She was leaning back against the arm of the furniture with her eyes closed.
“You found one?”
“Yep. I’m the only person who could.”
“Meaning?”
“It’s my gift. I’m the only one who could ever be able to control it.” She opened her eyes and looked directly at him.
“I thought you couldn’t control what the dreams tell you.” He was confused and it showed on his face.
“I can’t. But, maybe I can control how I process the information.” Now his expression was pure skepticism. “Do you remember the night I saw those three people walking across the room at the jazz club?” When he nodded, she continued. “I couldn’t see them clearly even though everyone else was clear. Right?”
“Yes.”
“And do you remember how I expanded my ability to see auras
by deliberately trying to put colors to the impressions I was getting?” He nodded again. “All I had to do was focus—it’s not that simple, but you understand what I’m saying. It occurred to me today that I taught myself how to control my ability to see auras, so why can’t I learn how to control my visions?”
“I’m not totally following you, baby. What makes you think you can control your visions.”
“My mind wouldn’t allow me to see that guy from Erie. What’s his name?”
“Paul Watkins.”
“Yes. Him.” She gave an involuntary shudder. “I didn’t see clearly because my mind recognized him and suppressed him so that he wouldn’t scare me. If my mind could protect me once, it can do it again. Just like with seeing auras, I just have to practice controlling my reaction. I have to get past the emotions. You need me to tell you what people are feeling and my impression of the room; but that doesn’t mean I have to absorb those feelings. I’m sure that I can learn how to detach myself enough to where I’m not afraid.” She sighed. “And then, you won’t have to worry about me. And you don’t have to worry about balancing my gift against your career.”
Somewhere during that explanation, Chaz had stopped rubbing his wife’s legs and started processing what she was saying.
“You really think that’s possible?”
“Yes, I do. I think that’s what’s been happening while you were away. Sometimes, I had dreams while I was asleep, but I also saw scenes when I was awake. That’s why I’m calling them visions now. A new gift was being introduced along with the way to manage it. I had the solution all along; I just didn’t know it.” She leaned forward and touched his shoulder. “You can’t be the one to protect this family all the time, Chaz. I have to do my part. We’re a team, baby. My gifts have a purpose.”
Chaz stared at her for a long time before saying, “Have I told you that you’re amazing?” Stephanie laughed.
“Yes you did; you tell me that all of the time.”
“That’s because it’s true. I am always in awe of you.”
“Hmm.” A mischievous twinkle appeared in her eyes. “Awestruck? Can you prove it?”
Chaz laughed a deep, rich laugh and asked, “Would you like me to show you how much I can worship you?”
“Ah … that sounds interesting. Sure. Show me what you’ve got, Mr. FBI Agent.” She slid her legs off of him, put her feet on the floor, and leaned so that their faces were almost touching. “Would this demonstration happen to involve handcuffs?”
“Possibly.” He kissed her very lightly and tucked a curl behind her ear. “But it will have to wait until we eat dinner. I heard your stomach growl a moment ago. I’m sure you and the baby are hungry. Do you want a snack to hold you until the lasagna is ready?”
“My stomach did not growl! But a snack is probably a good idea. It’s well past lunchtime and I didn’t eat much for breakfast.”
Chaz stood and pulled her up with him. “Cheese, crackers, and fruit it shall be.”
They walked to the kitchen with their arms around each other.
CHAPTER 13
Karen and Phailin were excited about the new dimensions to Stephanie’s gift and the way she had decided to corral them. Neither of the women had heard of anyone controlling precognition in any way, but they were still supportive of Stephanie’s attempts. A week had passed since the argument between Stephanie and Chaz, so she’d had plenty of opportunities to practice her theory.
“I’m still being sucked into the emotions of whatever the vision is, but it’s getting easier to immediately shake it off. I find an inanimate object in the scene to focus on and my mind splits its observations. I don’t seem to be missing out on any details even though I’m not giving 100 percent of my attention. It’s like having music as background noise when I’m trying to focus on a project at work. Of course, it’s possible that these dreams aren’t as much of a challenge as the ones involving Chaz will be. Who knows?” Stephanie popped a grape into her mouth as she participated in this three-way call that was on the cell phone’s speaker.
“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” Karen commented. “Hopefully you and I won’t be so strongly connected. I love you, Steph, but I also love my sleep.” Everyone laughed.
“And I’m glad that you don’t need me to meditate with you on Sundays,” Phailin added. “I don’t mind, but it’s good to see that you are stronger.”
“Yeah, I feel confident about where I am with this gift. Everything feels right.”
Stephanie’s words couldn’t be truer. All of these women felt peaceful. They only talked for a few minutes longer before Phailin had to get off the call so that she could start preparing dinner for her husband. David wouldn’t care if his wife served him hot dogs, but Phailin was determined to give him a good meal whenever her work schedule allowed her to be at home. Everyone promised to talk again soon before hanging up.
Stephanie wiped the counter, slid her cell phone to one edge of it, and plopped a lump of unshaped dough onto the center. Kneading was always relaxing.
Tonight would be homemade pizza night with popcorn and an action movie. That should relax Chaz. Maybe she’d even offer to burn some incense and give him a massage before bedtime. While Stephanie hadn’t had any dreams specific to him that indicated anything was wrong, he seemed tense and a little distracted.
She giggled at the image of making sure he was comfortable before tucking him into bed.
That thought led to another thought: in just a few months, they would welcome their first child. Stephanie would enjoy tucking her—she was almost positive of the baby being a girl—into bed, eventually reading stories, watching her grow from an infant to a toddler. She could hardly wait to be a mom. Chaz was excited about those same things; he was going to make a great dad. Their baby would be loved and cherished and encouraged.
“I hope that smile is for me.” Chaz’s voice nearly made her jump across the room. She hadn’t heard him come in. He walked over to her and dropped a kiss on her shoulder. Despite the cool weather outside, Stephanie was dressed in a tank shirt and thin yoga pants. “I was thinking about taking you out for dinner to make up for being gone all day on a Saturday.”
“We can do that tomorrow.” She covered the dough that she had rolled into a ball before turning to face her husband. “I want to stay home and have you all to myself.”
“Deal.” He kissed her forehead. “Do you want to know what I was doing today?”
“Sure—if you want to tell me.” She stepped over to the sink so that she could wash the sticky flour from her fingers.
“I was looking at cars.”
“Cars?”
“Yep.” He leaned his elbows on the counter. “You need a new car and I wanted some ideas about where to start. Of course, I don’t plan on picking it out; I’m only making sure the safety rating and gas mileage are good.”
“Why do I need a new car?”
“Besides the fact that yours is six years old, you need one where the doors open a little wider so that we can easily get the baby carrier in and out. Plus, I want both of us to have the highest safety ratings we can afford.”
“Are you getting a new car, too?”
“Nope. My SUV is already what we need.”
Stephanie shrugged, indicating she wouldn’t resist his decision, and leaned toward her husband for a brief kiss. Again, she thought about how comfortable her life was at the moment. Her gift, her career, and her marriage were all at a place of peace. That feeling stayed as the couple stood side by side chopping the vegetables that would go on the pizza and into the salad.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Only minutes after Chaz arrived at work, he was called into a meeting with Roy and Steve. His instincts instantly told him that he wouldn’t like what they had to say. He was right.
“I’ve been keeping up with the interrogation of Brian Pleasant,” was how Roy began the meeting the second the door to the conference room closed. He slid folders across the table for both of his empl
oyees. “We’ve held him in custody for these past weeks in order to verify the information he provided as part of his attempt to get us to reduce the charges. You won’t be happy with what we’re learning.”
Steve and Chaz skimmed over the pages of the latest briefing summary. When Chaz closed the folder and stared at the table for several minutes, the other men in the room remained silent. They knew that when Chaz spoke again, he would have processed the information and begun formulating a strategy to deal with the fact that Paul Watkins was trying to relocate to Cincinnati.
“Obviously, my first priority is to make sure our paths don’t cross since he probably wants to kill me,” he stated wryly. Chaz was supposed to be serving a three-year prison sentence in Arizona as Chaz Winters, the alias that Paul Watkins knew him under. “My second priority is to go back through the reports that have been submitted by each Field Office to see whether we are missing anything that could add to or strengthen the charges we already intend to make. Finally, I want to be on the team that puts the handcuffs on him. It does no good for me to destroy my cover identity, so I don’t need for him to see me. I simply want to see him.”
“That’s basically what I expected you to say.” Roy nodded. “With the exception of the Damien Granger project, all of your cases are being divided between the other analysts. Effective immediately, you’re reassigned to the task force with Steve. We can’t let Watkins get established in our city. This bastard needs to be brought in sooner rather than later.” He turned to Steve. “Spend the rest of the morning bringing Chaz up to speed. I’m going to meet with the prosecutors so they’ll understand why we have a vested interest in making sure Brian Pleasant is held in custody for as long as possible.” He stood and walked out of the room, closing the door on the other men.
“Let me summarize what we already know.” Steve pushed his chair away from the table and crossed an ankle over the opposite knee. “After our case in Erie ended, Watkins chose Buffalo as his next site for a proposed gambling operation. Unfortunately, he had to delay the venture because of problems in Chicago. It seems that he doesn’t play well with others and is in danger of losing parts of his territory and scope of activities that he’d already been trusted with. He’s trying to expand beyond the I-90 corridor in preparation for what seems unavoidable. Our area isn’t as tightly organized as the northern regions. That’s why he’s here.
Loving Night: Dream Catcher Series ~ Book 2 Page 13
