“That you’ve got a good head, that you’d tell us if something felt off.” His gaze cut briefly to Jonas. “That’s why I needed you on this and nobody else. Sure, this is personal for you, but it’s not clouding your brain. You’re still thinking straight, still got our back.”
“Okay,” I said, nearly wincing. I wasn’t sure that I deserved his accolade.
“For the record, I do trust Fish. He’s done me plenty of favors,” he said. “But keep your eyes open. You tell me if you see something that double-crosses us.”
I hesitated, almost told him about Jake and me, but that was about sex and jealousy, right? Not club business. Not yet. One more day. “Will do.”
I hung around with the guys and played a round of darts until almost closing time. Because Mal was insisting that I keep eyes on Vaughn, I was headed out on patrol tonight with Felix.
The same woman Vaughn had been flirting with earlier had remained at the bar all night, and I knew he’d be taking her home. Against Vaughn’s own rule. In order to straighten out everything that was fucked up. Except what he and I had done didn’t feel wrong—not when it had been that good.
What was wrong was that somebody cared enough to mess with us. My gut tightened as I avoided eye contact with him. I didn’t want him to see my hesitation as I made my way toward the exit.
An hour later, after I had patrolled up and down the west end, I met up with Felix, and we made a swing near Vaughn’s place.
“Looks like Vaughn is getting some action tonight,” Felix said as we watched Vaughn pull into his lot with the woman from the bar on the back of his hog.
My throat struggled to work past the grit firmly lodged there. “Guess so.”
I watched for far too long after they headed inside. I imagined his lips on hers, his face as he got his release. My fingers tightened on the handlebars. For Vaughn’s benefit, I gunned my engine like some fucking adolescent, to alert him that I was there.
Before I could further give myself away to Felix, I drove the hell out of there.
Chapter Eighteen
Smoke
It was a Wednesday night at the compound and not much was going on, but Mal wanted to have a little celebration for Jonas’s birthday. So all the usual suspects had shown up for some grilling and keg drinking.
This party was pretty tame in comparison to some I’d been to in the past, and I was beginning to wonder if the club was slowing down, becoming more grounded. One of the old ladies had even baked a slew of cupcakes that were calling to me across the room. Sure, there was still a fair number of single men and women in attendance here, but nobody was taking off their clothes in the middle of the room. Yet.
I’d been able to keep my distance from Vaughn the last couple of nights. I’d seen him only when I was on patrol, as he made his way home from the bar, alone except for that first night. I hoped that meant he wasn’t all that into bringing somebody else to his place, though I shouldn’t have been feeling that way. He had done it to keep Jake off his back.
I hadn’t been able to ask Vaughn about our plan, because we had too many eyes on us at the bar. I wasn’t scheduled to work with him until tomorrow night, and the time away did little to clear my head.
So when I made my way toward the back patio where the cooler of drinks was located, I nearly swallowed my own tongue at seeing Vaughn shooting the breeze with Jonas. Not only because Mal liked to get on his case about not attending a Disciples party in months, but because Wednesday was the only day of the week he got the night off.
The bar was closed and I figured he had plenty of other things to do with his time, so maybe Mal had talked him into coming. Or maybe Vaughn was showing his thanks for the help on his burglary.
I reached for a soda, my heart rate skyrocketing at seeing him in this environment. I needed to keep my head, so I schooled my features and clapped him on the back. “Strange not seeing you behind that bar.”
“That’s what I told him, “ Jonas said from beside him, as Vaughn attempted not to make direct eye contact with me. Maybe he was having the same difficulty. “Glad he could finally join us out here. It’s been a while.”
He shot me a look out of the corner of his eye, because we both knew exactly when that last time had been. Fuck, I tried to think of anything else besides the way he looked naked.
When Jonas got caught up in a side conversation with one of the recruits, I muttered, “Did Mal twist your arm to get you out here?”
“Not exactly,” he said, his lips a grim line. “Honestly, it’s been weird being at my place since the break-in.”
“Fuck. Sorry about that, “ I said, not really considering he’d be feeling that way. Come to think of it, it did look like there were dark circles forming beneath his eyes. Was he not sleeping at night? I wished he’d have let me know. “You’re free to crash in one of the spare bedrooms here.”
I wanted to suggest sleeping at my place, but we both knew that was no longer possible.
“Yeah, thanks. I’m not really one to avoid situations, so I’ll make my way back to my place eventually,” he said, smirking, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Figured you’d just invite a girl home with you every night.”
He stared at me skeptically, and I practically squirmed beneath his gaze. We were playing a game here, and neither of us liked it one bit.
Suddenly there were female hands on him from behind. “You look tense,” a compound frequenter named Melanie said.
She used to be Slim’s old lady, but they’d broken up a while back. Once you were a regular, though, it was hard to give up the amenities. I think she was hoping to be picked up by another biker, and I guess Vaughn was close enough. She was a good lady, though, and enjoyed partying with the boys and having a good time.
My jaw tightened. “There you go. Somebody to help you get your mind off of it.”
It was the plan we had talked about but still, it was tough to watch firsthand. What the hell had I been thinking, getting involved with him to begin with? I had fucked him into my mattress—hell, even my sheets still smelled like him—and now all I wanted was to do it again.
She began massaging his shoulders and he didn’t cringe or wave her off, which made my stomach perform some acrobatics routine.
“I’ll be patrolling, so it’ll be cool,” I said, lowering my voice. “You can relax. You know, about being in your place.”
He leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Does your patrol include peeking inside the windows?”
I nearly blushed. Did he mean he wanted me to watch him or whomever he brought home with him?
“Could be arranged…” I grunted. “If I don’t run them off first.”
“Why would you do that?” He grasped Melanie’s hands, which had been raking over his pecs, and positioned her in front of him. He rubbed her neck and she moaned a little. I kept my face neutral though I was seething inside.
I knew he was only playing the part like I had suggested, but any more contact and I’d have to walk the fuck away. I had never felt jealousy before, not over a woman or man, but it was like she was getting the prize that I so desperately wanted. I nearly sulked like a little kid.
“What are you two up to?” Melanie asked, looking back and forth between us. “Am I about to get a treat from the both of you?”
My eyebrow shot up. A threesome with Vaughn hadn’t even crossed my mind. Could be interesting. He seemed to think so as well, as his eyes surveyed me over her shoulder.
She nuzzled his ear, and he seemed to be appreciate the contact. Either that or he was enjoying torturing me again. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. Because fuck, after having him the other night, I didn’t want him with anybody else.
I wanted to be the only one to suck his cock. To touch him. Smell him. Kiss that scar below his lip. Make his eyes soften, his mouth go slack, as he pleaded with me to rock his world.
When Melanie leaned forward and kissed Vaughn, he stiffened at first, and then closed his eyes, see
ming to throw himself into it. Though I was pissed, my dick actually throbbed in response from seeing how hungry and eager his lips were.
When she got a bit carried away by grabbing the back of his head and nearly straddling him right in the middle of the room, his eyes flew open, and he took a backward step.
“Calm it down, baby,” he said in a soothing voice. “How about getting another drink so Smoke and I can discuss what you’re proposing?”
I swept her hair behind her ear, and Vaughn visibly tensed. He didn’t like it any more than I did. “You sure that’s what you want, Melanie?” I asked.
“Is that even a valid question?” she drawled. “You two are hot as fuck. Why wouldn’t I want you?”
I knew that plenty of guys here engaged in threesomes, but never had that thought appealed to me until now. Simply being in the same room with Vaughn would be a turn-on.
Vaughn sat down on the couch as she walked away to grab a drink. I sat down beside him. “What the hell are we doing here?”
“Exactly what you proposed, right?” he said with a clenched jaw. “Make sure I look straight as they come.”
“Listen, I know this is rough, but I’m only trying—” Before I could finish my thought, Melanie returned and plopped down on Vaughn’s knees. She twisted to kiss his neck and wiggle in his lap. My cock plumped up simply from having the heat of his thigh next to mine as he readjusted himself.
When she leaned toward me, my hand clenched her shoulder. “I think it’s time to take this somewhere private,” I said.
I was never one for public displays of affection, but not being able to touch Vaughn was making me crazy.
Vaughn stared at me, something unreadable in his eyes, while he played with her hair. I cleared my throat. “Head to the last bedroom on the right,” I said, “and I’ll follow in a couple of minutes.”
After they left, I caught Jonas’s eye across the room. He lifted his eyebrows as if to say, You getting in on that action?
I shrugged, anxiously needing to head back to that room, but not wanting to appear too desperate. Jonas gave me the thumbs-up, and I slowly made my way, eager to be near Vaughn again.
Melanie and Vaughn were lip-locked on the bed, and I realized in that instant it would be pure torture not to be able to kiss Vaughn. This threesome wasn’t going to involve any male-on-male action. Sure, we could make her feel good, but I couldn’t do the same to Vaughn, not in this situation.
Vaughn must’ve come to the same realization, because he was silent as I entered the room, his eyes solely focused on me.
“You boys are so sexy,” Melanie said, coaxing me to the bed. One knee on the mattress, I leaned over and rubbed my lips against hers. Her tongue felt too delicate and soft in my mouth. God, I was fucked in the head. Vaughn’s hand briefly caressed the small of my back, and it made me shiver.
I felt the blush creeping across my neck from one simple stroke of fingers. Melanie must’ve interpreted it as passion, because she began rubbing both of our erections through our pants. I was only at half mast from being so near Vaughn, so I switched gears and reached for her shirt instead, lifting it over her head.
She moaned, unhooking her own bra and yanking it away from her ample breasts.
“Gorgeous,” Vaughn said, reaching out to trace his fingers along one of her nipples, and I mimicked his actions on the other side. She was shivering and already hungry for more, and I felt guilty for even taking part. What in the fuck was wrong with me?
A sexy girl was sitting naked in front of me. She was fun and enjoyed having sex, and I was completely engrossed in the only other guy in the room.
Best I could do was help get her off and then extract myself from this situation.
Vaughn laid her on her back and then sucked on one of her breasts. I dipped my head, and just as I was licking around her nipple, I felt Vaughn’s cheek brush against mine. I become motionless when I heard him gulp. It was so hard not to turn my head and move my lips to his chin, his scruff, his mouth. But we both knew there’d be hell to pay for that.
Though this ménage might’ve seemed private, Melanie most likely would talk to the other biker chicks about what happened in this room. Especially if two men from the club had stroked or kissed.
So instead I changed course and slid my mouth down her stomach to the button of her pants. I decided right then and there that I wasn’t going to fuck her. Not tonight. Not ever. I wasn’t into her, but I’d play along for a little while longer. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t hot for her, because in any other situation I might’ve been.
Vaughn and I both worked on yanking down her jeans, while she squirmed and moaned. Vaughn thankfully had the wherewithal to dirty-talk her and praise her body, because I had pretty much turned mute.
I couldn’t get any words out. I felt so completely confused. My brain was going haywire from being next to him and not being able to touch him.
Melanie reached for me, but I pushed back on the bed.
“No, baby,” I said, trying to clear my dry throat. “I want to watch Vaughn finger you.”
Her eyes lit up, and she turned her attention to Vaughn. I saw his jaw tick, so I didn’t know if he was pissed at my suggestion or having the same struggle as me. Right before his fingers reached her clit, he glanced up at me with such raw intensity, it was like a bolt of lightning had struck in my chest.
His fingers went to work, and I concentrated on watching her face.
She was writhing and fisting the pillow, so I knew he was doing a bang-up job. His hands could make anybody horny. My knee was right next to where Vaughn placed his hand to brace himself on the bed, and his knuckles grazed purposefully against my jeans.
That action only made me uncomfortably hard. It almost felt like his hand was working my groin. That’s how horny he’d made me from a simple brush of his fingers.
I reached out to tweak Melanie’s nipples, helping her sail firmly over the edge. Right as she was catching her breath, telling Vaughn he had magic fingers, and I was thinking of a reason to excuse myself, we heard shouting from the other room.
I jumped up and bolted for the door, wondering what in the hell was happening.
Our new recruit named Simon was being held back by Felix. Looked like he had tried to punch out one of the other guests, who was rubbing his reddened jaw. We’d seen this impulsive behavior from Simon before, and Mal had warned him to curb his drinking or he’d be out on his ass.
Just as Vaughn stepped up behind me, Felix turned and caught my eye. “Simon needs to sleep it off in the back room. A little help here?”
I nodded and grabbed Simon’s other arm. We dragged him down the hall to the same bedroom Vaughn and Melanie and I had vacated. I pulled back the comforter, and we pushed him down in bed. The moment his head hit the pillow, he mumbled inaudibly and zonked out.
Felix was breathing heavily from the exertion. “Dumbass. Fighting over a game of pool. Competitive bastard.”
“Mal is going have words in the morning, and he’d better hope he doesn’t have to pack his bags.”
Felix wiped his hands down his pants. “Ready to get the hell out of here and patrol?”
“Right behind you.”
When we headed back down the hallway, I spotted Melanie slumped against the arm of the couch, chatting with a couple other ladies. She still looked strung out from Vaughn’s voodoo hands. Damn lucky.
As I followed Felix out the door, I nearly ran into Vaughn heading toward the exit at the same time.
“You out of here?” I asked, not wanting him to see the relief that was probably evident on my face.
“More than done for the night,” he grumbled.
“Yeah?” I held his gaze for entirely too long, trying to read something there.
“For sure. Bastard.” He bumped my shoulder a little too aggressively, showing me he was ticked about how everything went down in that bedroom.
Then he threw me that devastating grin that practically liquefied me from th
e inside.
Chapter Nineteen
Vaughn
“Okay, Pop, if you need anything, you know where to find me,” I said, backing out the door. I ignored the feeling in my gut that told me he wasn’t looking so well. Ever since that day I drove him to the cemetery, he’d seemed more quiet and reserved.
I sat with him a few nights ago and pretended to watch his favorite show with interest, even asking him questions about the antiques he seemed most engrossed with. Short of moving him into my apartment, which he would never go for, I tried my best to spend more time with him while nudging him to be more active.
I had even offered to stay with him for a while, since my apartment was feeling especially foreign anyway, but he wanted nothing to do with it. He hated being coddled, and I didn’t want him to feel like less of a man.
Cherry was already at the Hog’s Den when I arrived. She usually showed up early to help set up. When Smoke emerged from the back room with a tray of freshly washed bar glasses, my pulse throbbed unsteadily. The last time I’d seen him, I had my fingers inside a woman’s pussy. Smoke had encouraged the play without partaking in it himself, and I had felt pissed and a bit numb afterward. Thoroughly confused over my feelings about Smoke.
“How’s your dad doing?” Cherry asked. “It was nice to see him the other night.”
I jerked my shoulder. “I don’t know if he’d actually admit anything to me if he was feeling lousy.”
“Same as my mom,” she said, refilling the napkin holders. “They just don’t want us to worry.”
“Exactly,” I said. “I wish he’d just follow the damn doctor’s orders about exercise.”
“How about your folks, Smoke?” she asked, attempting to include him in the conversation. She didn’t realize it was the wrong thing to ask.
But he recovered well. “My mom died when I was young. But my dad used to be the same way, before he also…you know…”
“Shit. I’m sorry, honey,” she said, knocking her palm against her forehead. “I didn’t know.”
The Darkest Flame Page 11
