She knows all about talking to yourself. She was caught doing it a few times last fall when she was having problems with her loser boyfriend, Jason. It’s all the stress!
What we women go through…and being haunted to boot!
“Are you okay?”
I smile brightly with forced cheer and say, “Yep, never better. Great party, isn’t it? I wasn’t too sure about Ashley’s methods, but the residents are still the same great people. I’m so impressed with Arielle and Marcos, aren’t you? Those kids really stepped up…anyhoo, I’m gonna go find Tucker. It sounds like someone else has taken over the music again and I hear somethin’ peppy.”
I walk past Lia and leave her to her business. She’s still staring at me, and now she’s giving me the worried mom look. I decide not to open my mouth again for fear of rambling on like a bank robber caught with a bag of cash and go back to the party.
Hopefully Meemaw took her peach cobbler with her when she disappeared or else Lia will think I’m a toilet binge eater, on top of a nut who talks to herself on the crapper.
I spot Tucker across the room talking to his brother. Dawson is laughing so I assume they are sharing some light-hearted brotherly banter, instead of Tucker complaining about me.
Hmm…why would my mind go there? I haven’t done anything complaint worthy. Darn Meemaw getting in my head.
Ray is dancing with the girls, and while I am not his biggest fan, I am glad to see him spending time with them.
And it’s none of my business why he keeps getting phone calls. I’m going to grab some of the real, earthly peach cobbler off the table and go talk to Sassy. She’s always entertaining, and I need a diversion from talking about Ray and my made-up problems. Meemaw is just bored, and she’s looking for some drama.
I take my bowl of cobbler with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and sit down beside Sassy, who is reapplying her purple lip gloss at one of the folding tables.
“Hey there, Molly.” She smacks her lips to spread the gloss evenly and continues. “How are you holding up? That Tucker is a hottie. Good job with that one. I can tell you from experience that things only get more sizzling with a younger man. Getting rid of Beau and settling down with Stan was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done.”
Sassy was Lia’s client in Richmond when she worked as a personal shopper. When she quit her job to move to Applebarrow and manage Pentagon Place, bored housewife Sassy started visiting us here on the regular, and ended up with Stan, one of our long-term residents. He isn’t that much younger than Sassy, but probably about the same age difference as me and Tucker.
“You and Stan make a good couple, and I know Beau was a jerk, or so you said. Tucker and I are having fun. Not sure where it’s going.”
I look across the room and see he’s now talking to Ashley, and I feel a light pang of jealousy when I see her touch his arm. I’m sure he said something charming.
It’s nice to see him come out of his shell. Everyone keeps telling me how they can’t believe that the brooding, quiet Swanson brother has opened up like a spring flower since he…well…opened up my flower.
I blush at the thought, and I wouldn’t dare say that to Sassy. She would just love for us to sit here and compare Stan’s and Tucker’s anatomy and performance. I do prefer a bit more privacy.
“Oh, I think it’s going all the way down the aisle. Speaking of which, I understand you have not divorced Ray.”
“I didn’t know where he was for a year, and I just haven’t gotten the chance to see a lawyer yet.”
Sassy looks away and purses her shiny lips.
“What? I have been busy.”
She taps my hand and says, “I know you have, but I overheard Ray telling Ashley and Olivia how you and he are going to Philadelphia in a couple of weeks.”
She raises her eyebrows again and takes a big gulp of wine.
So much for thinking I could talk to anyone in this room and not get dragged into some crap about Ray. “Why does everyone assume that a trip with the girls is some big reunion for us? We are going to check out—”
“Yes, I know. The camp. And it is very nice that he wants to finally do something for those girls. I hope he finds something equally fun and educational for Zinnia. But what he didn’t tell you is you are not bringing the girls.”
“Of course we are. How can Magnolia decide if she wants to go if she doesn’t come to see it?”
Sassy shakes her head and says, “Ray then asked me if the girls can stay with me and Stan while you and he go alone. He said he doesn’t want to tell Magnolia about the camp and get her hopes up, in case you both decide it’s not a suitable place for her.”
I lean back in the padded folding chair and think about how I am going to end up in a padded room soon. I feel like everyone is conspiring to drive me bonkers.
“That can’t be right. But he did ask me not to tell Magnolia about it. I thought he meant that the trip to go see the camp was a surprise, too. Are you sure you heard him right?”
“Oh yes, and I also knew he didn’t tell you. That husband of yours reminds me of my second husband, Carl. Biggest liar you ever met. He told me he was kissin’ his secretary to see if she had a lip fungus. Can you believe it?”
She laughs and I hope one day I can find humor in any of my misery with men.
Also, how crazy is that?
If this is true, and Ray wants me to go alone with him, how am I going to get out of this without looking like an unreasonable bad guy?
I will either look like I don’t trust myself to be alone with Ray or I am afraid Tucker will be jealous. And I will be denying my daughter the chance to do something she would love. Also, I don’t think Ray is a very good judge of…
Shit, what if there is no camp at all? I didn’t even look at it. But what the hell would he say when we get there? ‘Oops, the camp closed down. My bad. Let’s hop in bed and renew our wedding vows’.
Meemaw was right.
Since she can hear my thoughts if she so chooses, I half expect her to show up in the chair on the other side of Sassy, shaking her chubby finger at me and reminding me again how dumb I’m acting since Ray sashayed back into town.
“Excuse me, Sassy.”
I bring my still full bowl of cobbler to the trash. I hate to waste food, but I have lost my appetite. Tucker is talking to Ashley again, and the combination of that sight and what I just learned about Ray gets my dander up.
I walk up to them and slip my arm though Tucker’s and say, “Hey y’all, what’s so funny? I just love to see everyone smilin’ and laughin’.”
Dear sweet Lord, do I sound fake!
I hate being jealous, but Ashley is a looker, and she’s about ten years younger than I am. And I have a super guilty conscience about Ray which makes me more worried about Tucker.
At least I have some self-awareness. I really don’t need Meemaw, Sassy, or anyone to tell me I’m effing this up.
I vow to spend the rest of the night making it up to Tucker, and I will deal with Ray after he takes the girls out on Valentine’s Day.
I’m sure Tucker would prefer I postpone my confrontation with my lying soon-to-be ex than ruin our special, sexy plans.
Ashley smiles and says, “Tucker was just telling me about some of the antics he and Dawson got up to when they were kids. But you must know all about that. Tucker said you were their babysitter?”
Tucker stiffens and I can see he realizes I might be upset with him for sharing that with Ashley and shining a great big spotlight on my age.
And the weirdness of our relationship.
I laugh nervously and reply, “Yes, I was. Isn’t that a hoot? Anyway, has anyone seen Ray?”
I don’t know why I blurted that out, but I think I should talk to him tonight after all.
If Tucker is saying stuff about us to other people, especially single women, he may be feeling spiteful because of Ray.
And who knows—maybe he overheard Ray talking to Sassy. Knowing Ray, he might have even had t
he balls to mention the trip to Tucker himself. He was never one to give up on what he wants.
Ashley points to the back deck of the clubhouse and says, “He’s outside on the phone. Good thing that’s not your problem anymore, am I right?” She grabs a tiny carrot off the buffet table and nibbles on it like a sinister, beautiful bunny.
“Well, I’ll leave you two alone now. I noticed you haven’t gotten to spend much time together tonight.”
She taps her head with her carrot free hand and says, “I know what I was meaning to tell you. Ray was gone for over a year, right?’
“Yes. Why?” Where is she going with this?
“I just didn’t know if you knew that you can just file for divorce now. My sister lives in Virginia, too, and when her husband flew the coop, her lawyer told her that once he was gone a year with no contact, that time counts as a legal separation. So you can cut Ray loose like that.”
She snaps her fingers and pops the remaining carrot in her mouth.
I hope she chokes on it, but then I ask the Lord for forgiveness, because I need Him on my side. I can’t believe she is telling me this now, for Tucker’s benefit.
What a bitch!
“Oh no, I didn’t know that. I’ll have to get in touch with Lia’s lawyer, Ed Franklin.”
My voice trails off as Tucker continues to silently observe this conversation. I wish he would say something, but I have a feeling I am going to get an earful once Ashley makes good on her promise and hops away.
I squeeze Tucker’s arm and say, “Are you having fun? Do you want to dance?” I search his face and he looks off into the distance.
He quietly says, “I don’t want to argue here, but just tell me. Did you know that? About the divorce laws?”
I hold back my angry, accusatory jealous tirade directed at Ashley and say, “No, I honestly didn’t. You know what, Tucker—you don’t know the first thing about what I’ve been through. For the past year plus, I have just been tryin’ to keep a roof over our heads and take care of my children. Gettin’ divorced, so I was ready to be with someone else, wasn’t high on my list of priorities.”
Tucker puts his hands on my arms and pulls me closer. His touch is gentle but firm. He looks me in the eyes, and I don’t break his stare.
“I am only going to say this once. I love you, Molly. But if there is any chance of you reconciling with that…man…I will not continue this thing with you. You don’t have to answer me now, because I know you’re feeling defensive and attacked. I know Ashley is givin’ you a hard time. You didn’t start off on a good foot with her. I don’t know what it is with you women.”
He shakes his head and rubs his hands through his dark hair. “But I am asking you to go home tonight and think long and hard about your feelings, and what you plan to do about them. I have plans for us, and they do not include Ray Rizzo.”
I feel the heat in my face and the tears threatening to escape my tired eyes. I also feel the eyes in the room upon me. You can’t have a private moment with this crew, and clearly Tucker and I are not looking romantic right now.
I open my mouth to reply and Tucker kisses me chastely and walks off. He joins Marcos, Dawson, and the other men at a table where a card game has broken out.
I guess there’s no point in saying anything. He’s right that I need to deal with Ray once and for all, but can I have a minute? He just got back. Tucker isn’t being fair. We have kids together, and everything can’t be about our new love.
My head is beginning to throb and I’m starting to think I should make an excuse and go back to my apartment to lie down while no one is home.
Ray can bring the girls back…oh never mind...then he’ll weasel his way into my place and one of the nosy neighbors will have their binoculars on us like we’re some celebrity super couple.
“Hey, Molly. You okay? I have some Tylenol in my bag.”
Oh great, just what my head needs to feel better—Olivia. My other favorite female neighbor.
Maybe I need to move. Angie’s always trying to get me to find a place in town near her.
“Hmm…is my headache that obvious?”
“Well, I saw you talking to Tucker and it looked a little strained. And honestly you haven’t been your usual smiley self.” She lowers her voice and says, “And I’m sure you’ve noticed how Tucker and Ashley have been talking a lot.”
That’s it—I gotta go.
“I do have a bad headache, Olivia. Thanks for your offer of the Tylenol, but I think I need to go home to bed. Alone.”
I can’t tolerate these single women who never date anybody trying to mess up a girl’s relationship. I can’t wait until some poor fool is dumb enough to date Olivia, so we can give her a hard time.
Oh, what am I saying? I’m not gonna do that. I wish I was more like Mama.
I want to scream when I hear another familiar voice say, “Oh, no you don’t. That daughter of mine is a might too feisty for her own good. Now let’s get you home to bed. I hate to say I told you so…”
Based on Olivia’s nonreaction, she can’t see Meemaw, who is miraculously standing up and not shoving food in her face.
However, Tylenol isn’t going to help if Meemaw follows me home.
***
Somehow Tucker and I manage to make it to Wednesday with our relationship intact.
Well, mostly.
After the Mardi Gras party, Meemaw followed me home and although I was expecting her to lecture me about Ray and Tucker, and the ways I am screwing up my life, she didn’t do any of that.
She sang me a lullaby and tucked me in. Well, she didn’t actually touch the blankets. She said there are special classes for learning how to manipulate objects, but she said she wasn’t interested in any more schooling.
“I said it’s bad enough I’m gonna be haunting my dear grandbaby, I don’t need to learn how to be a Poltergeist, too.”
I was hoping she was just confused from years of watching ghosts depicted in movies, and not from personal experience with being on the other side.
I was so sleepy, and on her advice, I took a Tylenol PM so I wouldn’t wake up when the girls came in.
She also suggested I ask Sassy or Lia to bring them home, so Ray wouldn’t butt his big nose into the house.
In my slightly drugged state I could wake up with him lying next to me or wake up to him in the kitchen making pancakes and happy families.
If that happened, Tucker and I would not be planning our romantic Valentine’s Day night.
True to his word (which hasn’t been very true in recent years), Ray is here on February 14th to pick up the girls, but of course they are taking their sweet time getting ready.
I came down to keep Ray company because Mama taught me you never can be rude to a guest, even if he’s the man who took all your money and broke your heart.
I obviously added that last part, but Mama is still on Team Ray, even after all the trouble he’s caused.
I have managed to avoid Ray as much as possible the past few days. I haven’t trusted myself not to blurt out my questions and accusations about the trip to Philadelphia. Once we get past this week, and the Valentine’s Day party and the silent retreat, I’ll talk to him about it.
And Tucker, of course.
Tucker and I talked on Sunday. He said he stayed at the party for a little while and helped Ashley clean up. It sounded like Dawson and Emma, and Lia and Logan also stayed and helped. And Olivia. So it wasn’t like he and Ashley were alone in the clubhouse late at night.
He came over Sunday morning and we had coffee on my back deck and talked about Ray.
Well, not everything about Ray, but I assured him that I have no intentions of taking Ray back, and that I’m enjoying our time together.
I’m sure he would have liked me to say ‘I love you’ but it’s too soon for me.
Plus, I am still not convinced that Tucker’s love is a mature, adult love if he keeps saying he’s loved me all his life. In the fifth grade I would have told you I w
as in love with my teacher, Mr. Morrow, but I now know that was just infatuation.
I’d like to think Tucker knows better than to confuse the two, but until I really know for sure, I am going to tread lightly.
Except since we are already sleeping together and exclusively dating (I think), and I promised him I will divorce my husband pronto, and he has declared his intention to settle down because he’s turning thirty soon…
Crap, that’s the opposite of treading lightly. My treading is like a damn elephant stomping mad over a squirrel eating his last peanut.
Now I’m in the kitchen getting Ray a drink and calling up to the girls to hurry up.
It would be ideal if they get out the door before Tucker gets here. He knows Ray is coming to get the girls, and I’m sure he doesn’t expect me to make him wait outside in the cold, but I just want this night to be special for me and Tucker.
Keeping the two men in my life apart seems like the best strategy for making that happen.
I’m bringing Ray his iced tea and the girls are finally barreling down the stairs. Shoot, now he’s going to sit here and drink it like they have all the time in the world.
“Come on girls, get a move on. I’m sure Daddy made reservations for tonight. Valentine’s Day is a hard night to go out if you’re not prepared.”
Ray crosses his legs and sinks back into my sofa and says, “Actually, I’m taking the girls to the arcade with all the games. I’m pretty sure they don’t take reservations, and on Valentine’s Day I don’t think many romantic dates are happening there.”
The doorbell rings before I’m required to say anything. I guess that makes sense, and Tucker is here now anyway, so I can leave even if Ray and the girls choose to hang around at home a while longer.
It’s not like I don’t trust Ray in my house—he’s already taken everything of value, including my peace of mind.
Ugh…why am I going there again? He can’t take anything from me that the good Lord gave me. And I am very happy now.
I open the door to see Tucker standing there looking like the last succulent peach of summer in his dark, snug jeans, henley shirt and shiny shoes.
Someone must have taken him shopping. I have never seen him looking so modern and buffed up.
Something Molly Can't See Page 13
