by Lucas, Naomi
She turned to leave.
“Wait,” Hysterian ordered.
Alexa inhaled sharply, tearing her eyes away from the passageway of beautiful freedom, and faced him. Suddenly, he was right there, pinning her with his number-laced eyes. Loose, messy strands of his hair fell forward, making him look mad. The heat coming off him enveloped her.
She stilled, fully aware of how very close they were. She closed her fingers into her palms and stopped them from pushing those loose strands of hair out of Hysterian’s eyes.
“Captain?”
He didn’t respond, didn’t say anything at all. He just stared at her.
Alexa waited for him to speak, but with each passing second that he didn’t, her chest constricted a little more. “Captain?” she inquired again, barely breathing the word in question.
The next thing she knew, she was lifted off the ground and being carried. She yelped, straining in fear, but then she was set down in his seat. Her hands came to the armrests and gripped them as Hysterian stepped back. She tried to rise.
“Don’t,” he shot. “Stay there.” He leaned back on the control console behind him.
Alexa pressed back into the seat, closing her legs tight. He’d picked her up like she’d weighed nothing, moved her with a speed she couldn’t defend against. Her pulse raced.
“I told you I didn’t want to break protocol again,” she breathed, pressing her feet into the ground, not sure whether to be afraid or furious. “You have no right to touch me!”
“And you have no right to question me. We’re even.”
“This does not make us even! You had a choice to not answer me. I would’ve been satisfied.” She pushed up from the chair. “It’s time for me to leave.”
He snapped forward, making her drop back down. “I ordered you to stay.”
She was trapped. He blocked her in, and if she wanted to leave now, she’d have to shove against him or climb over the chair. Both actions made her uncomfortable.
“You are taking advantage of your position,” she said, unable to meet his eyes suddenly.
Something inside her heated, danced, and begged. Begged for this, more of this, more of him, and try as she might, it only grew.
“Are you going to tell on me, Dear?” Hysterian taunted her. “It’s only right to go back on my word when you so immediately went back on yours. Protocol? Hah.”
“I didn’t?”
“You did.”
Her cheeks heated. Alexa felt his gaze on them, and she turned her face away.
“You look good when you blush,” he said.
“Don’t,” she bit out.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t do this—whatever this is.” She couldn’t handle this, this thing between them that shouldn’t be there. It was wrong. So, so wrong.
Alexa faced him, and he tilted his head to the side like she was something to be studied. She hugged herself.
“Yet you’re the one who propositioned me to kiss you, touch you even.”
“It was a mistake.”
“Oh, yes. It was a mistake.”
Silence filled the air between them as they watched each other. His words filled her head, taking over everything else. They often did these days.
Alexa waited for him to make a move, any move, so she wouldn’t have to.
He leaned forward and she pushed back into the seat.
His eyes searched hers, and she wetted her lips.
He moved closer and there was nowhere left for her to go. All she could see was his eyes, his brow, his partial mask. He can’t kiss me with his suit up over his mouth. Can he?
Will he?
Did she even want him to kiss her?
Would she get to see his face?
More of his heat closed in, making her brow slicken. Hundreds of tiny numbers ran up and down his irises, mesmerizing her. She could get lost in his gaze…if he weren’t so evil.
“Do you know what happens when you’re wanted by one of my kind?” he asked.
She shook her head, lamely.
“You lose your choices, your freedom. It’s subtle at first, but we take them away, slowly if you’re not amenable. You lose privacy, in all things. Because we can’t stand secrets, we can’t stand not knowing every singular movement and thought of something we crave. You find yourself consumed, because we demand it. You’ll find yourself claimed, because we need complete control. And you may resist, you may fight, we might even fight it as well, but there’s no escape, not for someone like me, and certainly not for someone like you, who has offered.”
“What are you saying?” she whispered.
In her periphery, his hands tightened around the armrests.
“I’m saying, Alexa, that it’s too late for us. Protocol or not. Whether we like it or not.”
“It’s never too late.”
“We’ll fuck, you and I. It’ll be hard and merciless, but it’ll be satisfying. I’ll have you stretched and spread and screaming, and you’ll have bliss. I’ve decided to take you up on your generous offer because that’s the only way…”
She could barely breathe. His threats went past her head and straight to the pinnacle between her legs. “Only way for what?”
He swayed his finger between the two of them. “To rid ourselves of this tension. For you to keep your job, because you’re good at it and I don’t want to fire you, and for me to stay sane and not be in such misery.”
Misery. Misery? The word sent a bolt of ice straight to her heart.
“Misery?” Her anger surged, barely breaking through the haze. “You have no clue what misery is,” she hissed. She pushed against his chest and fought her way out of his trap. He leaned back. “Don’t speak to me about misery.” She spat. “You know nothing about it.”
Hardness and mischief etched themselves into his gaze. Her fury grew.
Alexa put several feet of space between them. “We won’t fuck, and we won’t so much as touch, let alone kiss each other. It’s not too late for us. It’s never too late. I came here to set boundaries, not break them, Captain. I think it’s time for me to go.”
She strode toward the exit.
“Alexa,” he called after her.
She stilled at the threshold but refused to look at him. “What?”
“Your roots are showing.”
She gritted her teeth and stormed away.
Ten
Raul looked up at her as Alexa stalked by him. “What’s wrong? Did you find out about the bugs?”
“Yes,” she quipped, not stopping to talk. She didn’t want to see anyone, let alone speak to anyone. She was furious and felt wrung out like a damp towel. The day shift wasn’t over yet, but she was done. She’d done enough today.
And to make it worse, the male locust was pounding on the glass enclosure. The last thing she needed right now was another male—of any species—wanting to fuck her because she was the only woman around.
It was nauseating. Men were the worst.
She’d just made it to her quarters when Hysterian’s voice came through the intercom.
“Be ready to depart Titan. We take off at twenty hundred hours.”
Her nostrils flared. “Fuck you,” she said under her breath.
“Hey, what happened?” Raul came up behind her.
“Nothing.” She walked into the room, hoping Raul wouldn’t follow her.
Her hope died the next moment.
“Something happened. You’re pissed as hell.”
Alexa swerved. “Am I? Pissed, that is? I’m furious, but most of all, I want to be alone!”
“Whoa, calm down. I’m not the bad guy here. Tell me what happened.”
“I’ve got nothing to say.”
“He’s a real fucker isn’t he.”
Alexa’s eyes narrowed, and she pursed her lips.
Raul cupped the back of his neck, his gaze softening. “He…he didn’t hurt you, did he?” he asked in a low voice. Then fury hot enough to match her own crossed his face
. “I’ll fucking kill him. If he so much as touched you, I’ll kill him.”
They both knew who Raul spoke of.
“He didn’t hurt me,” Alexa said. “It’s not like that at all. It’s nothing like that.”
Raul stepped forward. “I’ll fucking kill him, Alexa. You just say the word, and I’ll take care of this.”
“Stop. Stop,” she said before Raul worked himself up any further. “He’d swat you like a fly if you even tried. It’s not worth your life. And he didn’t hurt me, like I said.” She was trying to calm down for Raul’s sake more than her own. “It’s not like that. We argued that’s all. Nothing more.”
Raul remained rigid, ready to go to battle despite her words.
“Raul, please, calm down.” She groaned. “I don’t need you sticking up for me. I don’t need anyone going into battle for me! I take care of myself.”
“I know you can take care of yourself. That’s obvious. But I don’t like him, Alexa. At all. I should have gone with you.”
She didn’t know that Raul didn’t like Hysterian. Had something happened between them that she wasn’t aware of? Raul was a good guy. Though she tried not to care about him or any of the others, she’d grown fond of Raul regardless. He may go into quiet spells, but he was kind to her, and thoughtful. He gave her her space even when there was very little to be had.
She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it in reassurance. Seeing Raul worked up like this somehow made her feel better, less alone. He settled down and squeezed her hand back.
Alexa studied him for a moment. Raul really was classically handsome.
“We argued. That’s all that happened,” she told him. “I asked him what happened on Titan today, and he didn’t like me questioning him. That’s all. I overstepped, and he put me back in my place.”
“I’ve never worked for a captain who couldn’t just fucking talk with his crew like a normal fucking person,” Raul spat. “I’ve always heard how heroic and great Cyborgs were. If they are, Hysterian certainly isn’t one of them.”
“He was right to check me,” she said, defending Hysterian. “He’s the captain, our leader, and nothing like you or me. Can you imagine how lonely that is?” She let go of Raul and rubbed her brow.
“Don’t pity him, Dear.”
“I’m not pitying him! I’d never pity him. I’m just trying to understand. Anyway,” Alexa said, wanting to change the subject, “we need to wipe the specs of the habitats and see if the resources we used can be salvaged.”
Raul waved his hand. “I’ll take care of that. Did he say what happened?”
“Only that Titan’s officials weren’t forthcoming with all the details of their request. That the problem was about money, and the solution they wanted would result in death. He doesn’t want us to be a part of their schemes or to take the fall. He was already in a mood before I approached him.”
“Hmm.” Raul’s eyes hooded in thought. “So that’s why we’re leaving so soon.”
“Yeah.”
He breathed deep and let it out slowly.
Alexa relaxed. She didn’t have to worry about him running off to her rescue when her back was turned. She didn’t think she could live with another innocent death on her hands. Especially since the real reason she was upset wasn’t because of Hysterian, but herself.
Part of her had wanted the Cyborg to grab her again when she had walked away. Part of her wished she’d pulled down Hysterian’s face covering and kissed him.
She was curious what it would feel like, curious what would have happened if she had. The tightness between her legs hadn’t eased, and she was beginning to realize what it meant.
She wanted Hysterian. She wanted everything he threatened and more. She wanted him to take her hard that there’d be pain, so much pain that it would erase everything else. She deserved it. And to be hurt by the very being that turned her this way? It felt like a sick sort of justice for her failings.
Maybe if she was consumed with physical suffering, it would take all the pain in her thoughts away.
Alexa swallowed. I should’ve stayed. I should’ve agreed. He could be breaking me right now on the floor of the bridge if I hadn’t run.
God, she needed to be broken. Maybe then she could pick up the pieces and rebuild herself the way she wanted this time. Without the guilt, without the loneliness. Without fear.
Without alien DNA coursing through her veins.
Alexa closed her eyes and exhaled. If only it could be that easy.
“You sure you’re okay, Dear?” Raul asked. She opened her eyes as he took another step forward.
He studied her. She studied him back.
Maybe it didn’t have to be Hysterian who broke her. Maybe she should embrace Raul’s flirtation, open herself up to it. If she let him in, maybe this fixation on her enemy would go away.
I’ve been thinking of Hysterian and only Hysterian for far too long.
Raul was handsome, and kept fit. Maybe with him, I won’t need to be broken. Maybe I can fix everything more easily. She slid her eyes to Raul’s chest, his arms. He could easily dominate her if she needed him to, like her mind wanted. He was nothing like Hysterian, though, and not intimidating in the least. That was a good thing.
She closed the distance between them.
Raul’s eyes widened, but he didn’t pull away.
“I’m okay,” she said. “But I could be better…”
“Alexa? Are you—”
“Yes.”
He slowly nodded.
This is good, she thought. This will work. Raul could help her. She reached up and clasped his neck. His arms came around her and jerked her into his chest.
It was warm, hard, but not so hot that it threatened to suffocate her. Raul smelled like shaving cream, not like burning metal. His cock hardened against her hip. He pressed it against her.
Take Hysterian out of my head.
Raul’s hands glided up her back until they reached her hair. He hooked his fingers into her bun and pulled out her band.
Her hair tumbled down her back.
Fuck Hysterian, fuck him.
“I’ve wanted to see you with your hair down since I first saw you,” Raul murmured.
“Oh...”
“You’re beautiful, far more so than a man like me should ever have the honor of holding.”
Beautiful? Hah. She’d never been called beautiful in her life. She tried to meet Raul’s eyes but couldn’t, looking at the collar of his suit instead. “Thank you, I think.” He was complimenting her, wooing her, and being nothing like Hysterian.
He chuckled. “You’re welcome.” He tilted her chin, forcing her head back up. “I’ll make this good for you. I’ll make you scream my name.”
Scream? She startled. Hysterian had said the same thing. Her nails bit into Raul’s neck. Hysterian said he would have her screaming and more.
“Kiss me,” she demanded. “Kiss me or leave me alone. But do it now—”
Raul’s mouth slammed against hers.
He pulled her close, grabbed her head, and threaded his fingers into her hair. His lips moved on hers. Alexa pushed against him, forcing her lips to move with his. His mouth was so hard, though, that all she could do was let him maul her. Her nails bit harder into his skin.
When his tongue probed her mouth, she opened it, letting him in. He filled her up, licking her everywhere, pushing his tongue against hers. He was a force all his own, one without any finesse.
She may be a virgin, and may not have kissed a man before, but she had seen her share of lovers on the network, and all that being a lover entails from there. This wasn’t a good kiss. She’d had better back in grade school with boys.
Would Hysterian’s kiss be this forceful?
Alexa moaned with annoyance. Raul laughed into her, pressing his advantage, obviously taking her moan the wrong way. His hands dropped down her back and grabbed her ass, tugging her against him.
He jerked his hips, rubbing his hard cock ag
ainst her. “You have no idea how badly I want you. This will be good, so good between us, baby.”
She wanted to agree but couldn’t.
Raul groped her ass before grabbing the lapel of her suit jacket, tugging it open and down her arms.
“You’ll see, Dear. You’ll never want another man between your legs after me.” He pulled her shirt over her head. His hands, slightly cold, came up and cupped her breasts over her bra. “I knew you had a rack to die for hiding under all these layers.”
Raul squeezed her breasts again, and Alexa let him, waiting for that spark to hit her. The spark that would make her want to tear into his clothes as well.
“Let’s get these tits out to be kissed, shall we? They’ll feel better lavished in kisses.” He tugged down the cups of her bra.
If Hysterian saw us this way, would he care?
Cold air breezed her nipples.
Alexa grabbed Raul’s hands and stopped him. “Wait!”
She was cold as a fish on the dark side of the moon.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Raul asked.
When he cupped the sides of her breasts, pushing them together, Alexa yanked his hands off her. “I can’t. I’m sorry—I can’t.”
His face fell. “Was it something I said?”
Alexa turned away and rubbed her face. She quickly picked her jacket off the floor and covered herself. “No. I’m…” What to tell him? “I’m not ready. Tonight’s been rough, the last few days too.” She needed to let him down gently enough so they could continue working together in peace.
But he’d felt her up, kissed her now. Was that even going to be possible?
Exhaustion overcame her. She’d fucked up, again. What had she been thinking? Sleeping with a man just to get another man out of her head? Even if she let Raul try and wipe Hysterian from her thoughts for a few hours, he’d only return.
He’d taken up residence long ago. Hysterian wasn’t going anywhere until she finished what she started.
Raul cupped her shoulders and pressed his fingers into her muscles. “I can still make it better without sex.” His fingers rolled and rubbed. “It’s been a shitstorm of days. At least have a drink with me in the lounge tonight?”
