The Lord of Misrule
A Red Ned Tudor Mystery Collection
By Gregory House
And Jocelyn House
Published by Gregory House at Amazon
Copyright 2012 Gregory House
Discover other titles by Gregory House at www.amazon.com or www.amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A1UGNTMFKAX9Y0?ie=UTF8&ref_=sv_ys_4
All artwork Copyright Alexander House 2012
Archaeology, Peter Wilkes and other diverse matters blogged at
http://prognosticationsandpouting.blogspot.com
Red Ned, the Reluctant Tudor Detective blog at
http://rednedtudormysteries.blogspot.com/
Stories in the Red Ned Tudor Mysteries Series
Amazon UK
The Liberties of London
The Fetter Lane Fleece
A Comfit of Rogues
The Queen’s Oranges
The Cardinal’s Angels
Amazon US/Australia
The Liberties of London
The Fetter Lane Fleece
A Comfit of Rogues
The Queen’s Oranges
The Cardinal’s Angels
Soon to be released in the Red Ned Tudor Mysteries Series on Amazon
The Smithfield Shambles
The Trade of the Thames
The King’s Counsel
The Dark Devices Historical Fantasy Series on Amazon
Darkness Divined
The Peter Wilks Archaeological Mysteries Series on Amazon
Terra Australis Templar
Soon to be released in the Peter Wilks Series
The Gold Coast Glyphs
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in, or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means (mechanical, photocopying, recording of otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. If you would like to share this book with another please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Please respect the author’s rights to this work.
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Dramatis Personae
The Liberties of London
The Fetter Lane Fleece
The Comfit of Rogues
The Royal Court
Historical Note on Red Ned Tudor Mysteries
The Lord of Misrule Preface 2012
Map London and the Liberties
The Liberties of London
Prologue A Perilous Position
Chapter One: A Christmas Revel Christmas Eve London 1529
Chapter Two: An Unwanted Task
Chapter Three: The Relics of London
Chapter Four: A Doubtful Decision
Chapter Five: A Sudden Summons
Chapter Six: Where’s Walter?
Chapter Seven: A Lost Lamb or Loose in the Liberties
Chapter Eight: The Devil’s Delights
Chapter Nine: A Christmas Carolling
Chapter Ten: A Knave
Chapter Eleven: The Nick
Chapter Twelve: Fleete of Foote
Chapter Thirteen: A Lamb Gathered In
Chapter Fourteen: Compter Caught
Chapter Fifteen: A Beneficial Visit
Chapter Sixteen: A Proper Repentance
Tudor Pastimes
Rules for Hazard (Dicing)
‘Honours’ or Ruff and Honours
Objective
Starting
Play
The Fetter Lane Fleece,
Prologue. Fleeing the Fleece
Chapter One. A Festive Gathering, The Sixth Day of Christmas 1529
Chapter Two. Strange Tidings
Chapter Three. Memory Lane—Fetter Lane
Chapter Four. The Wool’s Fleece
Chapter Five. Flaunty Phil’s Friendship
Chapter Six. The Delights of Delphina
Chapter Seven. The Fleetest on Fleete Street.
Chapter Eight. An Unlikely Rescue
Chapter Nine. Reward?
A Comfit of Rogues
Prologue. A Festive Gathering
Chapter One A Christmas Calling
Chapter Two. Strange Tidings
Chapter Three. All the World at the Bear
Chapter Four. The Masters of Mischief
Chapter Five. Messages
Chapter Six. A Rightful Obedience
Chapter Seven. A Need for Ned
Chapter Eight. A Chance goes Begging
Chapter Nine. A Cuddling Comfit
Chapter Ten. All’s Fair at the Frost Fair
Chapter Eleven. A Procession To Newgate
Chapter Twelve. Mischance on Snow Hill
Chapter Thirteen. Old Bent Bart’s Hazard
Chapter Fourteen. The Lord of the Liberties
Chapter Fifteen. A Meeting at Newgate
Chapter Sixteen. The Shambles of Newgate
Chapter Seventeen. Ned’s Needs
Post script. Misrule’s Reign
Historical Note about Cosenage
Tudor Coinage and values
Common Tudor Terms
Religion and spirituality in the Tudor Age, as portrayed in the Red Ned Tudor Mysteries.
Dramatis Personae
The Liberties of London
Edward Bedwell or as he prefers Red Ned—an apprentice lawyer at Gray’s Inn and organiser of the Christmas Revels.
Margaret or Meg Black—apprentice apothecary, amateur surgeon and sometime smuggler of illicit literature. Suspected subverter of the Christmas Revels.
Robert Black—older brother of Meg. Apprentice artificer and Ned’s partner in the Revels scheme.
Gruesome Roger—retainer to the Black family. A fellow with secrets who likes to loom menacingly over Ned ruining his Christmas.
Richard Rich—Commissioner of Sewers for London and uncle to Red Ned. A lawyer climbing the ladder of patronage, and a good friend of Thomas Cromwell
Canting Michael—a gang lord of Southwark who would like Red Ned’s ‘company’ for an hour or two.
Earless Nick (Throckmore)—self–proclaimed Master of Masterless men and Lord of the Liberties. Always ready for good company and a game.
Lady Dellingham—an ardent church reformer and ally of Cromwell. She holds firm views on the performance of good works in the sinkholes of London. Soon to leave for Geneva, though probably now soon enough for Ned’s liking.
Walter Dellingham—a young innocent reformist lad of interesting dispositions and talents, luckily soon to leave for Geneva.
John Reedman—a legal clerk at Gray’s Inn cursed with foolish relations.
The Fetter Lane Fleece
Richard Reedman—a young country lad with a bad choice of companions.
Phil Flydman—Flaunty Phil to his drinking friends and fellow dicemen.
Delphina—a redheaded punk of the Liberties, of flaming red hair, emerald green eyes and, ahem, other attractions.
The Comfit of Rogues
Prioress Abyngdon—the Mistress and Governor of the London Liberties refuge of the Paternoster Row priory.
Captaine Gryne—a gang lord of Gryne’s Men in Southwark and purveyor of violence to the fiscally generous.
Gulping Jemmy—a rogue with a keen thirst and some strange friendships amongst the gang lords of London.
Will Whipple—a new and weak stomached member of Canting’s gang much prone to codpiece wetting
Wall-eyed Willis —Flogger and cutthroat in service to Earless Nick, a fellow who enjoys his work.
Flaunty Phil—Phil Flydman, a dicer and cozener from the Wool’s Fleece who believes that where Ned is concerned, sl
ights and insults need repaying immediately.
Delphina—a punk of the Wool’s Fleece, formerly of flaming red hair, and stunning attractiveness though now somewhat singed.
Old Bent Bartholomew—the hunchbacked lord of the London beggars a notable rogue ready for all and any advantages.
Hobblin’ Hugh —a humble and much put upon member of the Beggar’s fraternity
Kut Karl—Bent Bart’s notorious knifeman and enforcer
Dr Agryppa—an advisor and physician to Captaine Gryne at the Gryne Dragone, maybe a player of deep cosenage for past slights and humiliations.
As well as a host of revelling clerks, apprentice lawyers and assorted punks, minions and rogues of the Liberties and the City of London
The Royal Court
King Henry VIII—a sovereign in desperate need of a male heir.
Katherine of Aragon—Queen of England, at least for now.
Lady Anne Boleyn—a Howard niece and supporter of Lutherans who the King wants to marry.
Thomas Cromwell—former secretary to Cardinal Wolsey now serving the King on the Privy Council.
Sir Thomas More—Lord Chancellor of England and pursuer of heretics. Formerly the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster.
Cardinal Thomas Wolsey—disgraced former Lord Chancellor now living in exile from the Royal Court.
Historical Note on Red Ned Tudor Mysteries
The Liberties of London, The Fetter Lane Fleece and The Comfit of Rogues are works of fiction. However most of the main points of the stories are based around historical Tudor London of 1529–30 and the setting is derived from period documents and accounts. I have endeavoured to give contemporary readers a window into the daily thoughts, and attitudes of the people in their positions in the Tudor hierarchy. All the main characters of this work are fictional, though as much as research allows, they do express the mood, passions and concerns of the time. These views or actions do not necessarily represent those of the author.
The quotes from the Bible are sourced from facsimiles of the original Tyndale translation available from http://www.william-tyndale.com/index.html
The Lord of Misrule Preface 2012
My grateful thanks to my readers for suggesting that this series of novellas and short stories be combined for both print and ebook publication, your wish is my command. In this combined edition of the misadventures of Red Ned Bedwell and his friends over the Yuletide period I’ve used the over all title of the Lord of Misrule. In this topsy-turvy Medieval-Tudor festival roles and status were reversed and it was a time of mockery and riotous celebration that poked a satirical finger at the pride and vanity of the Tudor elite of church and state. As such it was too good an opportunity to have aspiring rogue and apprentice lawyer Ned tumbled and rolled amongst the true arch rogues of London in their plays of rivalry, patronage and masterly cozenage.
Unlike many stories of this period mine focus on those much lower down the Tudor hierarchy, the very real and earthy citizens of England as seen in the background of Shakespeare’s plays such as Falstaff in Henry V part 1 and Sir Toby in Twelfth Night. Definitely not the city of Courtly Love and or the Chivalric romances popular at the Royal Court. As a writer of historical fiction, I strive to bring forth a contemporary understandable view of the Tudor Age, during the reign of Henry VIII. For some readers this may appear different from what they’ve seen in the HBO epic The Tudors or read elsewhere, this does not make a writer’s interpretations for fiction right or wrong just based on individual style and a slanting of story towards various audiences. A good example is the English language, that of the Tudor period is both maddeningly close and frustratingly different to our modern usages. As any of the recent productions at the Globe Theatre have proved, especially the ones endeavouring to portray period vernacular and pronunciation. To aid the story flow and provide a period flavour I’ve made some efforts to render dialects and phrasing into more modern standards, hopefully without sounding like a player at a Ren Fair. For any one who would like to look a little deeper into where our language came from I can highly recommend Bill Bryson’s The Mother Tongue, an extremely amusing account of accent, eccentricity and English. Finally apart from a good tale of adventure, rogues and cosenage as a historian and researcher I’m trying to give the reader as accurate a portrayal of Tudor life and culture as possible based on the surviving records, accounts and archaeology.
Please note that language, spelling and grammar of these stories is based on the UK English standard taught in Australia, and of course my own style and idiosyncrasies. I would appreciate it if any reader discovers gross errors of history or language, could they please let me know via my blog and I will do my best to correct them.
Regards Gregory House
Terra Australis 2012
Map London and the Liberties
The Liberties of London
A Red Ned Tudor Mystery
Prologue A Perilous Position
Ned closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the winter chilled stonework of the bridge. No, he kept on telling himself, don’t look down. That wasn’t a good idea. It may look like any other patch of the murky, stygian gloom of mid winter, but searching for an unseen peril below didn’t help. If he fell he knew what happened. He’d seen it a minute or so ago when the bridge wall collapsed. Earless Nick’s luckless minion tumbled over him and, screaming briefly, had plummeted onto the ice which had shattered with a loud crash, then finally a choking gurgle. So no, he didn’t need to peer down there to see the effects. His imagination was already doing a good enough job supplying him with the images he didn’t need. He already knew the Fleete Ditch by reputation – all of London and the Liberties did. In summer you could smell it for a mile. So a closer inspection of the sluggish, turgid, stream, charged with turds and piss channel scourings was not required. Instead he needed to do something constructive, like figure out how to climb up.
As it was, his fingers were getting cramped, shoved as they were between the iron and the stone. He’d tried to tighten his grip on the iron staple and who knows, without the gloves, it may have been easier. However as slippery as they felt right now, they protected his flesh from the jagged edged iron. Damn the Liberties work crews and damn Sir Thomas Bloody More! That lofty royal official had been Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, and this bridge was under his jurisdiction for repair. Perhaps if the new Lord Chancellor of the Kingdom had spent less time a’ hunting heretics, he could have put that spare energy to better use. Like repairing the bloody Fleete Ditch Bridge!
Ned attempted to distract himself from this situation. An ancient philosopher had suggested that, when in peril, one should recall a happy or pleasurable occasion to regain a moment of joy. Well he did that, and what readily sprang to mind was the Christmas Revels. His Christmas Revels actually, that he’d organised, financed and in fact should have, at this very moment, been sitting down to, feasting on roast suckling pig with a tankard of the finest sack in his hand. And just think, during these twelve nights of Christmas, didn’t he have so much to be thankful for. Now he was hanging off the Fleete Ditch Bridge. Oh, how could it be better?
Ned wedged his hand further into the unyielding stone and mortar. Let’s see, what improvement would suit? Ah, of course, Mistress damn her arrogance Black, she could be here instead of him. Oh wait no, no. What would be more fitting was that meepish little rat, the reformist lost lamb, Walter Dellingham! But wait, his daemon supplied one name above all, one name that well and truly deserved to be here; Gruesome Roger Hawkins. It was the fault of that surly retainer of the Black’s that Ned was here swinging off a piece of iron, waiting to plunge to an ignominious end. Oh Christ on the Cross no, not drowned in turds!
As Ned made an effort to remember a prayer, any prayer, he heard the scraping of a boot on the cobbles of the bridge above him. Slowly the scuffing came closer. Damn – more of Earless Nick’s minions. He’d already gone through three – wasn’t that enough? Anyway that complaint was moot. It was not as if he c
ould get to his dagger or sword – they were up there on the bridge. Possibly he could push himself hard against the stone wall. It was damned dark down here and the bridge lanterns didn’t cast even a smidgen of light this way. The boots hit his sword and the metal chimed on the cobbles. The outline of a figure peered over the edge as if looking straight at him. Ned wasn’t sure whether or not he should call out.
Then a low voice spoke above him. “Well bless me, it really is Christmas. Fancy finding y’ here Bedwell. Wotcha doin’ down there? Is Walter with y’?”
Ned closed his eyes for a moment and, to keep his temper in check, slowly counted up to ten – in Latin. “No. No, I don’t have lost lamb Walter here! Now for the love of all the saints, Roger bloody Hawkins, get me up!”
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