by Mj Fields
IRONS (A taste of Jax)
Norfolk
Jax
I was born and bred to be the man I am today. My father and his father were both graduates from The United States Naval Academy in Annapolis. Both went on to become helicopter pilots. Both had seen plenty of action. Both had met and caused devastation. Both men, whom I respect above all, had served and protected the United States and her people honorably for decades. I swore the same oath they had. I would fight, protect, and put my country’s safety and security above my own for the greater good.
I was trained well by men who had toed the line before me. I kept myself in top physical and mental condition. My hands were lethal weapons, my body was the property of the United States Navy and I was damn proud of it.
My best friend, William Cruz, who attended the academy with me, had flown beside me, had lived the same life as I had and shared the same ambitions in life, was gone now. This was not part of the plan. Will and I were supposed to have each other’s backs, support each other and never let anything supersede our bond.
* * *
After mishap debriefing I needed a drink. I pulled down Waterside Drive and parked the Mustang, jumped out and threw four quarters in the parking meter. I was gonna sit at our normal table, slam a few beers, grab a piece of ass, head down to Hampton Avenue, get a room, fuck, and drink until I could get the past two days out of my head.
When I walked into Bar Norfolk, I overheard the bastards that we were picking out of the water blaming Will for the rescue mission taking the life of one of them. I saw nothing but red.
Ace, the Officer in charge of the SEAL platoon whose ass we put ourselves on the line for, stood toe to toe with me and poked me in the chest, once. That’s all he got before I shattered his nose and beat his face bloody. Luckily for him, my friends Titan, and Shadows pulled me the fuck off him or he’d be dead too.
We weren’t back at my house very long before Commander Smith showed up screaming at me. Telling me how wrong I was and how I shouldn’t get drunk and fight, especially at a civilian establishment.
He thanked Shadows and Titan before telling them to take a walk and that’s when I informed him I wasn’t drunk. I was stone sober and would do it again if that mother fucker ever disrespected Will’s name again. He didn’t respond or show emotion so I went on to tell him if Ace was ever in trouble, I’d piss out of my hawk in his face and let the mother fucker drown,; taking pleasure knowing that the fucker drowned in my piss.
Then he lost it. He pinned me against the wall. Let me be honest, here, I let the old man pin me and scream in my face because I respected him. To continue the truth telling, had I not just busted Ace’s face, I would not be against the wall now.
“After you attend Will’s funeral, which you will be attending, and handing his mother the United States flag, you’re going to Florida to train our new guys for a year. Consider it a favor returned that I owe to your father or you’d be facing a Captain’s mast!”
“Kick me out. I’m a pilot. I didn’t spend seven years of my life busting my ass to not be up in the sky!”
“That’s an order, Lieutenant!”
Now I was fighting to retain what little control I had left.
“One year and if you keep it together, you come back here, you get back in the air. Fuck up, Jaxson, and you’ll be out!”
* * *
I stood over Will’s casket. Everything appeared to be in order, the national ensign was positioned over where his left shoulder, underneath the dark cherry coffin his body was laid in. Shadows was carrying the flag ahead of us as we carried the box containing my friend into the church in his hometown of Princess Ann, Maryland.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Will’s parents, Rosa and William Sr., his sister Francesca, and his grandparents. They all stood tall and proud of Will. I focused forward and stood beside his casket while the minister gave the ceremony. I focused, boring a hole in the Christian flag that hung above the United States flag in the back of the church. I needed to focus on something, show no emotion. This was a mission. This was what we did far too often.
His father gave a eulogy about how proud he was of Will. I heard Francesca and glanced towards her when her voice broke. She wiped a tear and cleared her throat.
“Jaxson, I know you have to stand there and do your duty, but I want you to know how much Will loved you. Thank you for making sure we had his body home to bury and… well, thank you for bringing Will home.”
I nodded slightly and stood focused.
We waited until the room was empty, and lifted the coffin and carried it to the hearse.
We carried Will from the hearse to the grave while the band played Eternal Father, Strong to Save. The committal service included a gun salute and that was followed by a trumpeter playing Taps. Titan folded the flag and handed it to my father, Congressman Irons. He saluted the flag and took it from Titan. My father turned to me, and handed me the flag and saluted it again.
I turned and walked towards William, Rosa, and Francesca. I stopped and handed the flag to Rosa. “On behalf of a grateful nation and a proud Navy, I present this flag to you in recognition of your son William’s years of honorable and faithful service to his country.”
Rosa and Francesca sobbed and I saluted the flag, looking above their heads, avoiding eye contact. I spent time with all of them. While my parents traveled and campaigned, I spent holidays with these people. I had to be strong for them.
I turned and walked beside the casket. Will’s casket was lowered and the prayer was given. I couldn’t help but watch as William held Rosa and Francesca tried her best to not fall apart. When she looked up and saw me, her lips quivered and I know Will would have hugged her. Just like he did every time we left to go back to Norfolk.
The only emotion I was ever allowed to share was strength. The only emotion I ever fought to hide was anger. So the burning in my chest I felt while looking into Francesca’s eyes was foreign and unwelcome, as was the welling of tears behind my eyes.
I looked forward, and swallowed hard and tried to let anger blanket the pain as it always did so many times before.
* * *
I walked into my room at the Hampton Inn and changed out of my dress Blues, into jeans and a long-sleeved polo. I shoved my wallet in my pocket, grabbed my jacket and, helmet and walked out the door. I sat on my Harley Fat Boy and revved the engine.
I drove up the windy road towards Will’s place, slowly. I needed to give myself time to put shit in perspective. Today I said my last goodbye to my best friend and now I was going to do the same to a family that had been in my life for six years. A family that wasn’t the same as mine. They were emotional and warm. It was gonna be a long fucking day.
I rolled up to the driveway and sat looking up at the house and realized that there was no possible way this day would end. Even tomorrow I would miss him, miss this. As an only child to a family like mine, the brotherhood I had gained from Will was irreplaceable. Where I was intense, he was calm. Where I was a hot head and reacted without thinking, he was methodical. Will being the one in the crash blew my fucking mind. I didn’t know why he was flathandeling, putting him and his crew at risk. It wasn’t like Will.
I took a deep breath and started up my bike and headed down the driveway. When I walked up the steps, Francesca was walking out the door. She was crying and wiped her eyes when she saw me.
“Frankie, I’m so sorry, baby girl.” She dove into my arms and fell apart.
It wasn’t normal for me to stay in an embrace for any longer than a few seconds, but she needed me.
“You’re going to be okay.”
A shaggy hair punk opened the door and looked frustrated when he saw her.
“Jesus Christ Francesca don’t get pissed and take off!” I stared at him and he rolled his eyes. “Fucking chicks.”
My glare never left him. I stepped back and wiped her eyes. “You know this boy, Frankie?”
She nodded and finally let go. �
�Joel, my boyfriend.” She used air quotes when she said boyfriend.
“Nice, Francesca. You need to grow…”
“You go inside and freshen up, Francesca. I’d like to talk to Joel for a moment, alone.”
I turned, and put my hands on the railing and looked out over the grounds. If I didn’t take a minute, this punk would be breathing out his ass.
I turned and sat back on the railing. “You ever meet Will?”
“Yeah.”
“How do you think he’d feel if you were treating his sister like that?”
“She’s being a …”
“Listen, punk. I’m not Will. As a matter a fact, I’m far worse. That girl lost her brother. A man, not some punk ass kid. She’s grieving and so help me God if I ever hear you talk to her like that, scratch that, if anyone ever mentions that you ever called her any name but sweetheart, I will rip your mother fucking…” I stopped talking when the door opened and William Sr. walked out.
“Jax, are you coming in?”
“Yeah, give me just a minute, sir.”
“Jax.” The way he said my name and looked at me was no doubt a warning.
“We clear, Joel?” He didn’t answer me, he just looked at me. I wasn’t sure if he was being a little punk or if he’d just shit his pants. I walked past him and whispered, “I will find out.”
I sat quietly next to Francesca and listened to the family talk about Will. Their stories were all true. Never a better man than he was. Never a better man would there ever be.
Francesca didn’t leave my side. She looked up at me and smiled from time to time. Cute little kid, always had been. If that punk hurt her, there would be no doubt I would come back and kick his ass. When he was of legal age, of course.
When just immediate family was left, I helped clean up. Pissed me off that people who came to pay their respects didn’t have the decency to pick up after themselves.
“Jaxson, I can do this.”
“No ma’am, I want to help.”
“It’s Rosa, Jaxson.” She patted my shoulder. “It’ll give me something to keep me busy son, you’ve done enough.”
I smiled at Will’s mom but didn’t do as she asked. I wasn’t leaving them with a mess.
When I was at the sink I looked out the window and saw Francesca telling the punk off. Her little hands flailing in the air. Her head bobbing around and finally, she pointed to the driveway. I saw him scowl at her and then look around. He spotted me in the window. I took my hand, and drew it across my neck and gave him a look that made the fucker shake. He headed down the road, and hopped in a Lexus and peeled out of the driveway. I heard Will Sr. chuckle behind me and turned around.
“Sorry, sir.”
“Don’t be sorry. I never liked that Joel to begin with. I think you just did her a favor.”
I nodded. “I’m gonna head out myself.”
“Back to Norfolk?”
“No. I’m heading to Pensacola in the morning. I’m needed there for a while.”
“How long?” I looked up and saw Francesca’s angry face.
“They say a year.”
“You’re leaving us for a year?” Her voice cracked and tears started falling.
“I go where they tell me to go Frankie.”
“They can go to hell!” She stomped out of the room and I heard the back door slam.
I watched William struggling with what to do or say.
“Sorry sir. I didn’t mean too…”
“Someday you’ll stop calling me sir.” He smiled, “And someday my daughter will grow into a sweet young lady and not be so difficult to deal with.”
“She graduates next year, right?”
“She graduates next month. She had planned on attending Old Dominion to be closer to Will and to you. That’s part of her problem. Rosa and I want her to stay here and attend community for a couple years and then transfer. She’s just too hard, too temperamental, I’m afraid she’ll…” he stopped and looked at me.
“I understand, sir.”
“Maybe if you were still here, hell, I don’t know anymore. I wish she would just stay a senior in high school and live here forever.” He looked out the window and let out a groan.
“When I come back, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
After saying my goodbyes to Will’s parents, I walked out back and saw Francesca swinging in the old tire swing. When she heard me approach, she wiped her face and looked up.
“You come to say goodbye?”
I stood behind her and gave the swing a shove. “I did.”
“Well, don’t bother. I’ve said enough goodbyes today.”
She jumped out of the swing and stomped back into the woods. I followed.
“Frankie, get back here and say goodbye.”
She turned around and her little lip stuck out as she tried to look tough.
“I told your Dad when I get back maybe I could check in on you once in a while at Old Dominion.”
“You did?” She sounded surprised.
“Yeah, I did.”
“They’re being so…”
“They’re grieving just like you, Frankie.”
She scrunched her eyes shut and tears fell harder.
“I don’t know what we will do without him.”
I walked up and hugged her. “You’ll do whatever Will would want you to.”
She looked up at me, “He’d say, ‘Be good Frankie don’t give them…”
“Any more than they can handle.” I repeated the words Will, used every time he left to go back to base when Frankie got upset.
“They’re getting older every day.” She continued where I left off.
“Love ‘em now, cause someday they won’t be here anymore.” We finished together and she grabbed a hold of me and cried even harder.
I held her like he did until she was done crying and she stepped back.
I bent to give her a peck on the cheek and she grabbed my face and held it and her lips touched mine.
I didn’t move, didn’t reciprocate. I did nothing.
She pushed against me harder and I stepped back. She looked up and smiled.
“Frankie, that’s not…”
“Will isn’t the only one here who loves you, Jax.”
“Okay, look…”
“No, you look. I’m eighteen now and graduating. I’ve wanted to kiss you since I was twelve years old. You were my first crush, Jax.”
“You’re making me extremely uncomfortable here, Francesca.”
“You’re leaving and I don’t know when I will see you again. I just wanted to make sure you knew.”
“Okay, kid, but…”
“I love you, Jax, nothing uncomfortable about it. If I never see you again, at least I said it.” She smiled and shook her head. “Okay, you have places to go, right?”
“I do.”
We walked silently towards the driveway and she was still smiling.
I sat on my bike and started to put on my helmet.
“Hey, Jax?”
“Frankie?”
“I’m a really good kisser. Someday you’ll regret that you didn’t experience the full effect.”
“You better keep your lips to yourself girl. Boys like Joel don’t deserve them.”
“Jealous?” She poked me in the chest.
“No, just want you to have everything you deserve. Boys are bad news, Frankie.”
“Drive safe, Jax. Please keep in touch.”
She turned around and walked away.
I started up my bike and took off down the driveway.
I pulled up to the bar Will and I would frequent when we visited. Mandy was the bartender here. No strings Mandy. Girl was a freak in bed. I walked in, ordered a shot and tossed it back. I laid a twenty and my spare room key on the bar and walked out.
* * *
When Mandy walked in my room, I had polished off half a bottle of Jack. I was ready to fuck the pain away.
“On your knees first, girl.”
“I know what you like, Irons.”
She unbuttoned my pants and I leaned back against the desk. Her mouth was surrounding my cock and I was determined to finish this bottle before I filled her mouth with cum.
Pensacola
Jax
I had been here a week and not stepped foot on base yet. I secured a place off base. I didn’t want the students I would be teaching to know my every damn move. I didn’t want my commanding officer breathing down my neck, either. I knew myself and I damn well knew that one wrong push of a button and I could snap. The wounds were still too damn fresh and I should’ve taken more time off after a loss like that, but that’s not what a man does. Not a man like me.
I was hanging up the clothes the movers had delivered three days ago when I heard a knock on the door.
“It’s open,” I yelled over my shoulder.
They knocked louder.
“What the fuck, this place isn’t that damn big,” I cursed as I walked to the door and opened it. “I said it’s…”
“What the fuck do we have here?”
“You lost, boy? You’re a long way from Nor fuck.” Layes gave me a quick hug while Deuce stood behind him.
I laughed and step back allowing them entry. “Pussy Cola was calling my name. Heard the scuttlebutt that you two bitches couldn’t keep up anymore. Thought I’d come lend a hand. Come on in.”
“You got two minutes to throw on some clothes. It’s Friday night and the bars are hopping with huntresses.” Deuce walked over to the fridge and grabbed three cold ones.
“One still not enough, Deuce?” I asked as I took the beer from his hand.
“Hell, no. I was born with this name for a reason. Too much hot ass out there hunting, wouldn’t want them to starve when I got all this to offer.” He grabbed his crotch.
Layes held up his beer. “To us who live and us who breathe, to brothers who we lost at sea. To booze and boats and bikes and babes. Come on Jax, tell me this toast made you cave.”
“I really have a lot of shit to do, guys.”
“To clouds that float up in the sky, to our brother who has past his time. To the beer that waits to add sparkle to my glass, let’s go, dear friends, or I’ll kick your ass.”
