by Ashlynn Ally
“Maybe,” he says, getting distracted now. “But for now I want you in bed. No more of this getting up at one p.m. crap. Tomorrow morning, I want you downstairs at the kitchen table and ready to eat breakfast by eight a.m. You need to stay on schedule or you’re going to start having trouble getting up for school.”
“Are you new or something?” I laugh. “I already have trouble getting up for school.”
“Then you better get your little butt in bed now, shouldn’t you?” he says in his usual no-nonsense manner. “And don’t think I didn’t pick up on that sass, young lady. Just for that, I change my earlier request to seven forty-five. And if you’re not up, I will come into your room and haul you out of your bed, making sure to give you a few smacks to your butt for noncompliance. You got that?”
“You’re so mean,” I murmur, glowering again. “Can’t you tell I’m trying to be friends with you?”
He hesitates, and for a second I’m sure he’s just going to yell at me some more, but then he seems to relax a little. Bending down, he rests his hands on my shoulders and looks me right in my eye. “Look, Jaden, I’ll be real with you for a second. I don’t like having to be so strict with you all the time, but until you can show a little improvement in your attitude, as well as your life choices, that’s the way it’s going to be. You want to be friends? Sure. I’d love that. But you gotta stop yanking me around first, because I don’t play that way. You gotta do what’s expected of you around here, you got that?”
I give a couple of slow and deliberate nods of my head, tingles fizzing in my tummy like birthday sparklers. Somehow, it’s even more alluring when he scolds me nicely than when he does it meanly.
“Good.” He straightens himself up now, and then steps aside to let me by. “Now upstairs and into bed with you. I’ll be up in a few minutes to check on you, and if you’re not all safely tucked in with the lights off, so help me God, Jaden, you will go over my knee and get spanked again.”
“I’m going,” I say, pretend-perplexed by his super stern voice. I rise off my stool and slink past him, giving him a look like he had absolutely no reason to ever doubt I’d ever do anything than exactly what he told me. “Straight into bed.”
Doing a little turn as I make my way for the door, I raise my hands in mock surrender, give him a mischievous gleam of my eyes.
“That’s enough,” he says, but his voice is vague as his eyes linger over me. Hurriedly, he darts them away, almost sheepish, like he’d been caught looking at something he shouldn’t have been.
I turn around slowly, pulling my skirt back down over my butt as I walk out the door. For a second, I wonder if Justin’s eyes are still on me before I shake the thought away. Then finally, finally picking my panties out of my butt crack. The relief is incredible, and I sigh deep from my belly as I’m also finally able to give my butt cheeks a good rubbing. That spanking had been so painful I barely had time to register any feelings of embarrassment at having my ass at Justin’s disposal for so long. Now though when I think about it, I can’t help feeling a little tingle creep up inside me.
I’m still rubbing my butt five minutes later, lying on my belly tucked into bed. For some reason, despite how sore I am, I’m feeling oddly comforted. Maybe, just maybe, Justin was actually serious about everything he said and did to me. Unlike my foster families in the past who pretended they did but really just wanted the money the state paid them, Justin might actually want me to do as well as he says he does. He just has a painful way of helping me along with all of it.
Chapter Seventeen
The next morning, Justin makes me a smoothie for breakfast, which I’m able to drink down without complaint, and then he sends me straight back upstairs to do my homework. My butt is still tender and sore, and after taking a peek at it in the mirror after brushing my teeth, I see it’s pretty bruised up. I know there’s no way I want a spanking on top of it.
All day long, I play the part of Justin’s obedient little girl. I eat the food he provides me and let him check my homework. I even change my shirt when he insists the one I’m wearing isn’t appropriate for taking me to his office, where he has to go to drop off some paperwork. On the car ride over, I notice a guy smoking at the bus stop, and my throat catches for a second. With the patch on, my cravings aren’t so bad, but I still miss the feel of a cigarette propped between bunny-eared fingers, the smoke going down the back of my throat.
Justin’s office is stuffy and hot. He’s says it’s because it’s a Sunday and there’s no one else there. I’m tempted to ask him why I had to change my shirt then, but think better of it. On the way home, I’m jonesing bad. If only I had something familiar to put in my mouth…
“Hey, Justin?” I go, my voice tentative.
He must hear the tension in my voice. “Yes?” he says, slowly but loudly.
“Um, do you think, maybe we can stop somewhere and get like, candy or something?”
“Candy or something?” he imitates me, slightly teasing. “And what might that something be?”
“Uh, no. No something,” I pretend to change my mind. “Just candy. Can we get candy? Please?” I go in for the kill when I see his eyes, contemplative.
“Well…” he drags musingly. “You have been so good today. I suppose we can stop and you can get one thing.”
“Oh, my God, thank you,” I sigh, like he just changed my prison sentence to life without parole rather than the death sentence. “You’re the best, you’re the best. I swear.”
We stop at a gas station, where Justin pays for the enormous chocolate bar I pick out. Of course, being the ingenious thinker that I am, I went for something with caffeine along with a crap-ton of sugar. Once we’re in the car, I practically lunge for it, but Justin holds the plastic bag he’s carrying it in just out of reach.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he says. “Easy there, killer. I’m breaking this bad boy in two and saving the other half for tomorrow.”
“What?!” I cry out incredulously, still reaching for it. “That’s not fair!”
“If you eat it all today, you’ll be sick,” Justin says, peeling away some of the wrapper from the chocolate bar.
“You must not know me very well because I can eat like three of those things and not be sick,” I say indignantly, even though it was kind of a lie. I usually felt pretty ill after many of my meal choices, especially those that consist of nothing but sugar and more sugar. It just doesn’t seem right he would let me pick out candy and then deny me half of my selection.
“Okay, let me rephrase that. If you eat it all today, you won’t eat anything else, including the healthy dinner I’m going to make.”
“Yes, I will…” I whine, momentarily forgetting myself.
“No, you won’t…” Justin imitates my whine.
“Hey!” I scoff, disgruntled. “I don’t sound like that. Now hand over the chocolate, and no one gets hurt…”
I’ve leaned so far over him at this point I’m practically in his lap. Justin continues to hold the chocolate bar just out of my reach. “Oh, yes, you do sound like that,” he insists, his tone nearly playful. “You know, if you can’t be a big girl and talk properly, maybe I should eat this whole thing myself. Chocolate is for grownups, y’know…”
“Stop being a meanie!” I exclaim, placing my hand on his shoulder to try to help prop myself up toward the chocolate. I just about have the bar between my fingers when Justin’s cheek brushes mine and our eyes meet.
Suddenly, we both seem to freeze, held in place by the intensity of our locked gaze. Our faces are so close, I can hear and feel Justin’s breath on my skin. His lips, full and succulent, seem to be coming closer to mine. Is he leaning in for a kiss? I’m so shocked by it, all I can think to do is reciprocate. But then, as I lean closer to him, he backs away suddenly. He uses his arm to sweep me back into my own seat, and then makes it out like he’s only doing it to hand me the candy bar.
Gingerly, I take the chocolate from his hand. The silence around us is heavy, and Justi
n seems flustered and bothered. “I… I thought you said I could only have half,” I say, stuttering slightly though I’m trying to sound casual. Though I hate to willingly relinquish any of my chocolate, I know I have to save face by taking the attention off of what I was just about to do. How could I have thought he was actually trying to kiss me? Of course that’s probably not what he was doing! Way to flatter yourself, Jaden…
Without missing a step, Justin takes the chocolate back from me, breaks it in half, and gives me one of the pieces. “I’ll save this other piece for tomorrow,” he says, wrapping it up back in the bag. I detect something strange in his voice, a far-offness that is much different than his usual directness. “And no more whining. You got that?”
“I got it,” I mumble, subdued. I’m eager to get home so I can put this whole awkward almost-kiss situation behind us, and for some reason I feel like Justin is, too.
* * *
Since I already finished my homework, there’s not much else for me to do. I’d like to work on altering Jessica’s old clothes to more suit my needs, but my sewing kit is all a mess at the bottom of my backpack. Maybe I’ll go to the store and buy a new one if I finally get any money.
After a while, I just go sit out on the deck and people watch, even though there’s not that many people to see, besides the random jogger or dog walker. My brain tells me it would be so easy to just slip on down the trellis and disappear for a few hours, but my butt tells me not to risk it.
“I got nervous there for a second,” Justin’s voice comes from behind me a little while later. I turn around to see him letting himself out the screen door to join me on the deck. “When I looked in your room and saw it empty.”
I give a little scoff. “Believe me, I thought about it.”
“Oh, yeah?” he says, and I swear I can detect the slightest bit of happiness in his surprised tone. “And what made you change your mind?”
I give him a dark look that says the words, you know what made me change my mind, and I’m sitting on it. Out loud, I play it cool, saying offhandedly, “Oh, I don’t know. Too much trouble, I guess.”
“You know, Jaden,” he says, and I stiffen uncomfortably, sensing a lecture. “With a little discipline instilled into you, I really think you can do this. I mean, c’mon, you’re pretty smart, right? With the right tools available to you, you can breeze right through this summer school program, and then I can even help you with the next step of getting yourself into some community college classes. Have you thought about what you want to do with your life?”
“No,” I say blankly, at least slightly relieved this whole thing seems more like a pep talk than a lecture. “I don’t think about shi…” I stop myself abruptly, catch a glance at Justin out of the side of my eye to see if he picked up on it. By his pointed stare, I’m guessing he did. Quickly, I correct myself. “Stuff like that.”
“Why not?” he asks brightly, seemingly ignoring the swear word that almost came out of my mouth. “You’re young, you’re bright. You have your whole life ahead of you.”
“Look, most of the time I don’t even think about what my next meal is going to be, so why the… why in the world would I think about what I’m going to be doing in a year or three months or even three days from now? Doesn’t make a lot of sense now, does it?”
“Your next meal is fried brown rice with broccoli and beef strips,” Justin says nonchalantly. “There, now that that’s out of the way, we can move onto this other stuff. You know, you might want to think about getting your license as well. I’m pretty sure the school offers driver’s ed classes at night. You could even get a part-time job, buy a car.”
“Oh, great,” I mumble, folding my arms across my chest as I lean back in the patio chair I’m sitting in, balancing it on its back two legs. “More stir-fry and more school.”
“Young lady…” Justin warns, taking hold of my chair and righting it again, making my teeth chatter slightly. “Is there any reason to get an attitude here?”
“Yes,” I say stubbornly, while he continues to hold my chair in place, giving me very little choice but to look at him. For some reason, his green-as-the-sea eyes make my heart twitch, causing me to quickly avert my gaze before I become a stupid stammering mess. “Attitude is my middle name.”
“Your middle name is Sierra, I looked it up in some of my mom’s old things,” he says matter-of-factly, though I realize it’s the first time he’s mentioned his mom since the day I showed up here by breaking into the house. “So I guess that means you can drop the attitude right now. I’m trying to have a serious discussion here with you.”
“I know,” I say, like that’s the whole point of my attitude.
“Well, why don’t you think a little bit about what I’ve said. There’s lots of opportunity out there for you, Jaden. You just gotta know where to look.”
On that note, he leaves me with a mention of dinner in an hour. In spite of myself, I do wind up thinking about what he said. Me, a high school graduate, driving to college in my car I paid for with an actual job. Even though Justin makes it sound so simple, in my mind, it’s barely a dream. I also wonder what it is to Justin anyway. He claims to care about me, but that’s also a concept so foreign I don’t dare let myself believe it.
Chapter Eighteen
A few days later, after Justin picks me up from school, we pull up in front of 1117 Sea Breeze Way to see a strange car in the driveway. Well, strange to me anyway. Justin seems to immediately tense as soon as he spots it. After I get a glimpse at the driver, still sitting in the driver’s seat, presumably with the air conditioning running as it was a bit of a hot day, I think I know why.
“Looks like little bro’s come to pay you a visit,” I remark amusingly. “You think he needs money?”
“Get out of the car, Jaden,” Justin says, pulling up to a stop behind Alex’s shitty looking Honda Accord, considering we’re blocked from getting into the garage. “And I’ll properly introduce you.”
Alex also gets out of his car when he sees us coming. “Hey, buddy,” he calls, smiling so widely only an expert could detect that his hands are actually shaking. “Long time no see. Thanks for mailing the wallet. You know it means a lot to me.”
“If that were the case,” Justin says dryly, “you could have called me when you got it, like I asked you to in the note I sent.”
“Hey, man, sorry!” Alex says in a voice that isn’t very sorry at all, throwing his hands up in sarcastic defeat. “So, who’s the girl, man? You finally dating again? It’s been what, like a year since Camille…”
“This is my friend,” Justin intercepts his words just as my ears start to perk up with interest. “Jaden, meet my brother Alex. Alex, this is Jaden.”
At the mention of me only being a friend, Alex goes straight into hitting on me. He offers up a smarmy smile as he dives in for this half-handshake, half-hug sort of thing. I take a step back, smelling the withdrawal sweats on him. No doubt in my mind this dude needs to get his hands on some quick cash. It doesn’t surprise me at all that he doesn’t seem to remember me. He must have been blacked-out drunk the night I made off with his wallet.
“Jaden, Jaden, the pleasure’s all mine, definitely. Hey, did anyone ever tell you before that you’re beautiful? What are you doing later today? Maybe we can…”
“Sorry, bro, but she’s actually all tied up for the rest of the day,” Justin announces abruptly. “Come on, you two, let’s get out of the hot sun and go inside.”
He heads for the front door, Alex and I trailing along. “Hey, man, sorry,” Alex is still yammering. “It’s just you said you weren’t dating, and I saw my in. How did you two meet anyway?”
By now we’re inside, Justin holding the door open for the both of us so he’s the last one in. I let my backpack drop to the floor, trying not to pay attention to the fact that Alex is studying me really closely at this point.
“Hey, wait a minute,” he finally says, a tiny bit of recognition washing over his face. “You look f
amiliar somehow. Have we met before?”
I rest my face into a snotty sneer, dying to tell him I’m the girl who made off with his wallet that night. I would say it like it was no big deal, like the whole thing was just another common occurrence in my life. Either way, I bet it would get him to back off with the hitting on me thing real quick.
“You have met before.” Justin speaks up before I get the chance. “Alex, Jaden used to be one of Mom’s kids. She was here a long time ago, when she was just a little girl. Jaden lived here only briefly, but you two were here at the same time.”
Alex sort of gapes at this while I stand there disappointed, wishing I could have told the wallet story.
“But how…” Alex starts in. Again Justin quickly interrupts him, ostensibly to keep him from asking anything too detailed.
“We’ve recently been reacquainted, and now I’m helping her out with a few things.” At this, Justin turns to me. “Jaden, why don’t you go upstairs and start your homework.”
I roll my tongue in my cheek, annoyed at being dismissed when I want to see the show I can sense is about to go down between the two brothers. “But I’m hungry,” I say. It’s only an excuse to stay down here longer, though an unbelievable one considering I never eat anything after school until Justin forces me to choke down dinner. “Can I get a snack first?”
“I’ll bring you up something in a bit,” Justin says, not falling for it. “I need to talk to Alex in private for a few minutes.”
“It’s okay,” Alex offers, and I almost detect a level of hopefulness in his voice, as if he thinks Justin might go easy on him if I were here to witness. “She can stay.”
I turn to Justin pointedly, shrugging as if I have no choice in this matter. “He said I could stay.”
