by Sara Orwig
“I’ve been thinking about that,” she said carefully. “I’ll take enough to pay you for your work, because—”
“No,” he said with a lopsided grin. “You’re not paying me, and I don’t want to hear another word about it.”
“And I won’t take Silas’ money, and not another word about that,” she retorted, raising her chin defiantly. They both laughed at the same time, and she relaxed a little.
His smile vanished and he gave her a searching look that made her heart thud. She was afraid to move, because she would bump him if she didn’t stand completely still. Her hands were at her waist, holding a spoon.
“I’m going to miss coming here every evening.”
“You can come when you like. Paddy and Brian and I will always be glad to see you,” she said, knowing it was only herself, not Paddy or Brian she was thinking about.
“You have to take the money. Silas is liable to tear me to pieces when he gets back and finds out I failed him.”
Dan saw the flash of fire in her eyes and knew he was battling a hopeless cause. “Silas Eustice will hear from me about just exactly why I wouldn’t take his money! Money isn’t the only thing in the world that brings happiness.”
When it got right down to it, he had to admit there were times when it was easier to talk to Mary than Louisa. There were even occasions when it was easier to talk to Mary than Dulcie. He shared many interests with Mary, like their books and the work on the house.
“Why are you so easy to talk to? You’re easier than Louisa sometimes.”
Mary wasn’t sure she wanted to hear that he enjoyed talking to her sometimes more than Louisa. On the one hand it frightened her, yet at the same time she felt a rush of pleasure.
“Louisa will be easy to talk to. You’ve spent more time with me lately, that’s all. You’ll enjoy talking to Louisa.”
“If I can ever get the chance. Her parents won’t leave us alone.” As he stared into Mary’s wide green eyes, he lowered his gaze to her mouth. If he hadn’t known better, he’d have sworn she was so innocent she hadn’t even been kissed. There was a naïveté to her that made her seem untouched by a man. Right now she stared back at him like a trusting child; yet as he studied her, he knew she was no child. She was a warm, intelligent woman. His gaze lowered to her mouth again. Her pink lips looked soft and inviting. He felt a pull. “Mary, you’re the best friend I have.”
“Thank you,” she answered solemnly. Her eyes were wide, holding his gaze. He looked at her mouth again and his curiosity stirred. He wondered what it would be like to kiss her. His gaze met hers, and as he realized the direction his thoughts were moving in, he turned away from her abruptly. “I’ll get the cobbler,” he said, picking up both bowls to place them on the table.
They ate cobbler and Dan went to work installing one of the windows. His concentration centered on the task at hand and he forgot about all the women in his life. Late that night, before he left, he sat and talked with Mary.
They spoke softly, sitting in the kitchen where wood still burned in the cooking stove. She had a shawl around her shoulders, and in the soft light of a single lamp, dark shadows filled the corners. Paddy had gone to bed, Brian was out, and they were alone.
Dan talked about the plans he was drawing for Corning and Ringwood. He leaned forward to rest his arm on the table while he talked.
“That’s exciting, Dan. The Shumachers should be pleased.”
“I suppose they are.”
“I’m sorry that working here has cut into your time to be with Louisa.”
He shrugged. “If I go calling in the evening, I spend the whole time with Louisa’s parents, and Mrs. Shumacher’s cold stares aren’t conducive to an enthralling evening.”
“You’ll be with them a long time once you’re married.”
“We won’t live with them. I should take Paddy with me the next time I visit them. With his tales of Ireland, he would liven up the conversation a bit. He might even stir Mrs. Shumacher to a few words.”
They both laughed, and impulsively he reached out to touch her cheek. “You’re so damned easy to talk to.”
She shrugged. “So are you. I don’t have time to see my friends much. Sometimes Bessie comes over, but not often now.”
“I’ll bet you told Silas everything, and he told you everything.”
“He told me a lot about himself that I don’t think he shared with others.”
“I don’t think I can share some things in my life with Louisa. I suppose it doesn’t matter. I love her and want to be with her.”
“I imagine you can share everything with her,” she said gently. She hated to think about Dan marrying Louisa Shumacher.
“No, I can’t,” he said somberly, studying Mary. He knew that what he really wanted was to have one trusted friend in town. And he was sure he could trust Mary with anything. “I can tell you what I can never tell Louisa,” he said, voicing his thoughts aloud. “As far as my life is concerned, my secrets, Silas knows them, and someday he’ll tell you anyway.”
“Dan, if it’s because I asked earlier, I apologize again. When I’m with you, I say whatever pops to mind.”
“And that’s the way I want you to be. That’s what friends are for. They can say whatever they want to each other without stopping to consider consequences.” He caught her hand in both of his and held it. He watched her, debating for another few seconds about whether or not he should share his problems with someone or keep them to himself as he usually did. Impulsively he decided to tell her. “Mary, I saw a poster in the store today. It had just come in with the mail. It’s a wanted poster.”
Mary listened to him, intensely aware of her hand held in his. She didn’t think he was aware of what he was doing. He looked lost in his thoughts while he rubbed her knuckles with his fingers. And she realized two things at once: he was going to tell her what bothered him, and it was a wanted poster that disturbed him. Her gaze ran over his features, and she saw him in a new light. He had seemed gentle, peaceful during most of the time he spent with her, but she had suspected that beneath, there was a strong, tough survivor, and now she was sure of it.
“Whose picture was it?” she asked, holding her breath. He met her gaze directly.
“Mine.”
She closed her eyes for an instant as if she had received a blow. She had guessed that would be his answer, but had hoped against it. It hurt to think he would be wanted anywhere.
Dan was startled by her reaction, and suddenly regretted telling her. She looked shocked, as if she found the news repugnant.
“Mary, I’m going to have to ask you to keep this to yourself. Silas knows, so in time he would have told you,” he said, releasing her hand.
“Oh, Dan, I’m sorry! Will you have to leave town?” she asked. She sounded so grieved that his dismay vanished, and he let out his breath, realizing he had misinterpreted her reaction.
“I don’t think so.”
“Can anyone recognize you easily from the poster?”
“I didn’t look like I do now. Of course, I can recognize my own picture, but I don’t know about others. I wore a bear-claw necklace and a hat with feathers. My hair was long and I had a mustache and beard. In the picture I’m wearing a hat.”
“That doesn’t sound the same,” she said slowly, with doubt in her tone.
“I did look different.”
“You’re so hand—” She bit back her word, suddenly blushing.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, surprised that she found him handsome. She seemed to pay little attention to him, and he supposed she wouldn’t notice any man except Silas.
“I killed a man in self-defense,” he said, wanting her to know what he had done and why. “He tried to slit my throat.”
“That’s how you got the scar,” she said. She was leaning on the table, and she reached the short distance to touch his throat. She pushed down the shirt just enough to touch the white line in his flesh. She was acutely conscious of touching him, of hu
rting for him and she began to fear for his safety.
“They were going to string me up without a trial, and I escaped. I was innocent, and was only protecting myself, but when I ran, it put me on the wrong side of the law. I’ll have to admit, I’ve done a lot of things I shouldn’t have. I’ve robbed banks and trains.”
She placed her hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry.”
“My full name is Tigre Danby Castillo. I took the name Dan Castle while I was with Silas. He saved me from bounty hunters. I’m wanted dead or alive,” he said harshly. “It doesn’t matter which, and the reward is larger than ever.”
“That’s dreadful,” she said. She was acutely aware of her fingers on his arm and as she felt the hard muscle through his cotton sleeve, she tried to imagine how his life had been.
“I don’t think I can ever tell Louisa. I think she would be repelled.”
“Surely you can. If she’s going to marry you, she must love you very much.” She thought about Louisa and frowned, looking down at her fingers on his arm. “But it would probably be wiser to wait to tell her. There may never be a need to do so.”
“No, but I’d feel more honest if she knew.”
“It won’t matter to her, Dan. It won’t matter at all,” she said, but there wasn’t much conviction in her voice. In fact she suspected it might matter a great deal to a woman like Louisa Shumacher.
“You’re a little liar,” he said softly in gentle tones. “It wouldn’t matter to a woman like you, but it will matter to my Louisa. I don’t fault her for being that way. Louisa has high standards and she knows little about adversity.”
“Do you think there are bounty hunters after you now?”
“No, not since I left Silas. The more responsible I can become here, the less likely I’ll be bothered. I don’t have any enemies here. Except Reuben Knelville.”
“Reuben Knelville is a powerful man, from what I’ve heard. He’s Ralston Knelville’s son, isn’t he?”
“Yes, but he won’t be studying the wanted posters.”
“Just be careful. And you made an enemy of Dewar Logan, although Dewar stays out on his ranch most of the time.”
Dan found relief and comfort in talking to her, and he patted her hand, picking it up again in his and idly touching her fingers with his other hand. “I’ll be all right. It’s something I’ve lived with for a long time now.”
“I’m sorry. A man like you should have a chance for a fair trial. And you should have a chance to start again. So many people came here with hidden pasts, and now they’re fine citizens. If you ever need help—”
“I know where to go,” he replied with a smile. “I should leave now. It’s past midnight,” he said, always surprised by how swiftly time passed when he was with her.
“Dan, your secret is safe with me.”
“I know that. If I trust Silas, then I trust you.
He stood up and pulled on his coat, carrying his dishes to the counter. “Good night, Mary. You lock up after me, and be careful.”
Impulsively she stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. She stepped back quickly. “You be careful. I’m so sorry about the trouble you had.”
“I feel better just talking to someone about it. I guess it shook me, because I thought I was safe in Denver, so far removed from bounty hunters and my past. I guess I’m stuck with it, just like my shadow.”
“But shadows can’t hurt you.”
He smiled at her. “Thanks for everything. If I didn’t sit and talk and eat so much, your boardinghouse might be finished by now.”
“This is more fun,” she said, smiling and revealing her even white teeth and dimples.
She watched him ride away and went back inside, feeling the grip of fear. Wanted for murder, bank robberies, and train robberies! How different could the drawing look? And Dan had enemies now, powerful ones. She cleaned the kitchen and turned out the lamps on the way to her room. She was restless as she remembered their conversation. She remembered even more clearly when he had stood so close at the counter and she looked into his blue eyes. It was far into the night before she fell asleep.
The next night Dan had one of the best times he had had since the night he asked Louisa to marry him. There were moments he got her to himself, in the closed front parlor away from the other guests. Their stolen kisses set him aflame with desire, and on the ride home in the carriage she allowed him more liberties than ever before. After he kissed her good night, Grizzly drove to Dulcie’s, where he climbed down to let Dan take the reins. Dan glanced at the house with all its lights pouring forth and went inside. He intended to see Dulcie for only a little while, but it was two hours later when he left. He was riding on empty roads, winding past the bordellos and saloons, when he saw a familiar figure standing in front of a saloon. He swore under his breath and shook his head. He flicked the reins, pulled his team to a halt, and jumped down.
Mary glanced around, saw him, and turned.
“Dammit, Mary, you shouldn’t be out. Which one are you looking for, Paddy or Brian?”
“Brian. I’m worried about him, Dan, and I’ve looked in every saloon in town.”
Dan thought of Dulcie’s house, and of how he had spent the past two hours. “Mary, has it occurred to you that your brother is old enough to be in one of the sporting houses?”
Even in the shadowy light spilling from the saloon, he saw her blush and her mouth form a round O. He had to bite back a smile. He took her arm. “Let me take you home.”
“I didn’t…Brian’s a baby.”
“Brian is a man. He’s young, but he’s a man and you’re going to have to accept that fact. You’re a sister, and whether you’re sister or mother, he’s grown, Mary, and you have to let him go.”
She ran her hand across her forehead and didn’t answer him. After a few glances at her, he wondered if she might be crying. He put his arm around her and pulled her close, patting her shoulder. “He’ll be all right. Don’t worry about him. You can’t keep him locked up at home.”
“I’m so worried,” she said so softly he had to bend close to hear. She looked up at him. “Dan, he leaves home in the night, and I don’t know where he goes.”
She sat only inches away, her face upturned, and he realized how tiny she felt with his arm around her thin shoulders. “How do you know all that?”
“I followed him one night.”
He groaned and shook her lightly. “You’re in more danger than your brother! Dammit, you shouldn’t trail around town at night after him.”
“I had to see what he was doing. I’m so scared. Where can he be going?”
“Mary, it’s his business. Not yours.”
She twisted her fingers together and finally looked up at him again. “I found money in his room, Dan. I haven’t told anyone, but he has two thousand dollars hidden in his room. He doesn’t earn money like that at the livery stable.”
“Lord, no! Two thousand dollars?” he said, frowning at her. There wasn’t an honest way a kid like Brian O’Malley could earn such money. All too well, Dan knew the ways Brian could get it.
“I’m so scared about what he might be doing,” she said. Dan squeezed her close and turned her against him.
“When does he go? Is it at regular times?”
“I don’t know. He went out last month, and now he’s gone tonight.”
“Same time last month?”
She straightened up to look at him. “I guess, now that you ask, it was. I didn’t think about that. Dan, I’m terrified he’s robbing a stage or worse.”
“Was he alone when he left?”
“Yes. He wasn’t home at all the next day or night. He told me he slept at the livery stable. Sometimes he does sleep there, but I know he didn’t that time because I followed him. The next day I went to look for him, and Henry told me Brian had asked for two days off from his job to tend to chores for Paddy.”
“He couldn’t be doing anything for Paddy, could he?”
“No!”
Dan mull
ed over what to do, and reluctantly came to a conclusion. “I guess if you discover he’s going, come get me. I hate like hell for you to run around town late at night, but that’s the only thing I can think of to do. I’ll follow him and see where he goes.”
“I don’t want to put you in danger, and I’m afraid he’s doing something dangerous. Otherwise he wouldn’t hide it.”
“I don’t know what the hell it would be. I haven’t heard of any robberies around this area in the past two months, except for that one of the stage, and the two men responsible for that were shot and killed.”
He stopped in front of her house and swung her down. “I’ll come drink some brandy with you. You’re not going to sleep now anyway. First you go look in his room and see if he’s there.”
She hurried inside, leaving him to build up the fire in the front parlor. In minutes she returned to stand beside him as he poked coals and sent sparks crackling up the chimney.
She was shaking from the cold, holding her hands in front of the fire. He poured two brandies and brought one to her. “Sit down here,” he said, pulling her down beside him on the floor. “Drink your brandy and turn around. I’ll give you a back rub—that will help you relax.”
Mary knew she should say no. It was highly improper for Dan to rub her back, no matter how many layers of clothing she wore, but she couldn’t get out the refusal. Instead she did as he said, drinking the brandy and turning, feeling his hands squeezing her shoulders, pressing on her back as he rubbed. Slowly she relaxed and relished his touches.
He turned her to face him and smiled at her. “Better?”
“Much better, thank you.”
He touched her chin. “Now, don’t worry about him. Just come and get me the next time he leaves. Promise me you won’t follow him and you’ll stop going to saloons late at night to search for him.”
She stared at the fire and debated whether she could promise such a thing. “Dan, I have to see about him.”
“Mary, he’s grown. He’s a man. On the frontier, boys become men sooner than eighteen. My half-brother was ambushed by renegades when he was sixteen. They took my mother and shot Luke and left him for dead.”
