"Matt, why did you leave?"
Matt turned at the sound of his voice, and then curled his lip when he saw it was Remy, Casey, and Stacey. What the hell did they want?
"Leave me the hell alone."
"That's no way to talk to Remy, seeing as how you're holding his son," Casey said with a smirk.
"Listen, you little bitch. Get the fuck out of my face before I make what I did to Remy look like a day in the fucking park compared to what I do to you," Matt said.
He watched the blood drain out of her face. Good, she would learn soon enough not to fuck with him.
"Casey, that's enough. You and Stacey go back inside. I need to talk to Matt," Remy said.
"Run along, doggies," Matt sneered.
They needed to take Remy with them.
"Can I hold him?"
"Hold who?"
"Evan."
"Why? You didn't want him."
"I just want to hold him for a second and then I'll go."
Matt wanted to say no, but he didn't know what he would try to do if he did. He didn't want to ruffle any feathers and have blood tests and other foolishness done.
"Fine, but only for a little while."
Matt reluctantly handed Evan over to Remy, and wanted to snatch him back immediately. He didn't move an inch until Remy handed Evan back to him.
"Thanks. Take good care of him, okay?"
With that, Remy was gone. Matt didn't know what to think, but he had no intention of letting his guard down. Evan was his son and Remy would never have him. Raven had left Evan to him and they would have to pry his son out of his cold dead hands.
Epilogue
One year later
He couldn't believe she was gone, let alone the fact that she had left her son to him. It still felt like yesterday that the police and a social worker had come to his house saying that Raven had jumped off the hospital roof and that he was listed as the baby's father. He had been speechless for over an hour. His mother had stepped in and taken the bundle from the lady's arms and listened to all she had to say, while he looked on in muted horror. It was only after they had all left and the baby started fussing did he snap out of it and the anger had set in. His mother knew the baby wasn't his but Remy Peters. That low count son of a bitch!
It didn't matter though, because as far as Matt was concerned he was the father of Evan Michile Masterson. He still couldn't believe she had named the baby that. His rage over what Remy had done was still at a boiling point and he wanted to say something every time he saw that smug bastard around campus. The only reason he didn't was because all Remy had to do was demand a paternity test and they would take Evan away from him. He didn't need that, nor did he want it. Remy would do it out of spite, not because he wanted Evan. He would probably give him away to be adopted by someone else. It scared Matt at times. Remy was sitting on information that could devastate Matt's life once again. He had to do something. He was tired of sitting around and waiting for that knock on the door that would snatch his son from him.
"Mom!" Matt yelled. "Mom, can you watch Evan later tonight? I want to get some practice in at the studio."
"Of course, honey,” his mother said with a wink. “I'll give Evan his bath and we'll snuggle down with a story. Go, don't worry about us. Your dad and I can handle Evan. After all, we handled you, didn't we? We aren't that old that we forgot how to do this."
"Ha, very funny. Thank you."
Well now, he had some free time. What was today? Saturday? Where was Remy on Saturdays? Did he practice swimming today? Damn, Matt needed to find him. Alone. Since Raven's death, Matt had all but tried to erase all knowledge of Remy Peters from his head. He wasn't concerned about his whereabouts as much as he used to be. But they still had some things to discuss. He needed to make sure he wasn't going to try to come and take Evan away one day, just to spite him. He was tired of looking over his shoulder and jumping every time someone knocked on the door or the telephone rang.
He would figure it out later today. Right now he had to pack up Evan and go to the cemetery. They had to go see Raven. It took him about 30 minutes to get everything together. Babies had more shit to carry around than the fucking president! It didn't make any sense for someone so small to need so much shit for what was only going to be a two-hour round trip. Whatever, they needed to go. He had things to do today.
It took roughly 30 minutes of driving with a fussy baby to get to Raven’s cemetery. It was some family plot that had been used for decades to bury every Sinclair ever born. It was creepy and gross if you asked Matt, but no one had asked him. It was a tradition to be buried there, according to Raven's mother. All Matt knew was that Evan's body was never setting foot in that tomb. He didn't care what he had to do to ensure it but it would be done. No one should be shut inside a tomb for all eternity. It was bad enough being in the dark for centuries to come; they didn't have to ensure it was airtight.
Why was he even thinking about this right now? He needed to get a grip. He took Evan out of his car seat and placed him in the stroller. He then gathered all his baby crap and they made their way to the entrance of the tomb. He wouldn't go inside but he had brought a blanket so he and Evan could sit down and talk with Raven. Well, so he could talk to Raven.
Matt settled down. It was time for a long overdue talk. He couldn't bring himself to come here again after the funeral. But he was ready now, or at least he thought he was. He had carried so much anger and resentment in those first few days, weeks, and months following Raven's suicide. He didn't understand why. He also didn't understand the numerous scars they found on her sides in the form of shallow cuts.
Why didn't he know how much she was hurting? He was supposed to have been her best friend. He didn't understand why she hadn’t ever talked to him about how she was feeling. She had been suffering in silence, while putting on the face of strength and courage to those around her. He had noticed a spiral after Remy shredded her to pieces, but he had no idea how deep the scars had run. Before she had even met Remy she was battling a war that no one but her knew about. Not her family, not her friends. Hell, not even Remy himself possibly. Which said a lot about the people in her circle. Were they so consumed with themselves that they didn't see the girl behind the façade? Thinking back on their friendship he wondered were there signs that he missed. Had she been demanding attention? If so, had her friends glossed over the girl and dismissed them? He claimed to have loved her but he hadn’t seen it, either. Not even the day Remy broke up with her.
He remembered the disorder of her home but he hadn't really seen what she was trying to say. He hadn't been listening. Too enraptured in his selfish desires and twisted obsessions and needs. The only thing he had seen was his overbearing desire to have her and that she was too caught up in Remy to notice him. But he was too caught up in Raven to notice Raven. Did he even deserve to be here? To attempt to lecture her on how she had made him feel? About how she had left him alone? Hadn't he done the same thing to her, even when he had wanted to possess her? Did he even love her? All these questions caused Matt's heart to hurt. For the first time in his life, he was filled with guilt over his callousness.
"I'm so sorry I failed you, Raven," Matt managed to say around a sob.
The tears were now blurring his vision. Evan picked up on his daddy’s distress and started to cry as well. At the moment Matt couldn't even comfort him, because he didn't even know how to comfort himself.
"I should have been a better friend. I was so caught up in the idea of us, that I never even saw you, or what you needed. No wonder you felt like the only thing to do was escape from the hell you had enclosed yourself in. All these people around you and none of us saw your pain or heard your pleas for help. I should have paid more attention. I should have given you the things that you needed, instead of focusing on the things that I wanted for myself. I didn't deserve you. I never deserved you. But I will make sure, even if it's the last thing I do, that I deserve the gift that you left me. The little pieces of yo
u that will live on in your son. For that I thank you, for trusting me enough with the leftover pieces of your soul."
Matt couldn't continue. It was too hard. He had initially intended to say something else. Something totally selfish and all about him, about how she left him to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. How she had somehow betrayed him with her departure from this Earth. As if he wasn't enough reason for her to stay. If he had been in her shoes he might have left everyone behind, too. No one had seen her, so what reason did she have to stay? He needed to leave this place before he lost it completely. He couldn't come back here. Either his parents or Raven's would have to bring Evan to see his mom because he couldn't do it. If he came back he would be tempted to join her and then he would have failed her again by failing her son. Because if he left, who would be here for Evan?
"Goodbye, Raven. I may not have loved you enough but I will love Evan enough for the both of us with everything I have in me. I won't be back again. It's too hard coming here, knowing that I will never get to watch you dance again, never get to catch you after tossing you up, never get to hear you laugh, or to see the way your eyes light up during recitals or any movie about ballet. Most of all it's too hard to know that Evan will never know you. The real you, not the girl that people will tell him about. I love you and for the first time since I've ever said it, I mean it."
With those final words Matt picked up Evan and headed home. He had a wrong to right tonight and he had to mentally prepare himself to do it. But for Raven he would. For Raven he would give her what she needed. And the thing that Raven needed was Remy.
After a lot of Twitter and Facebook stalking, Matt finally figured out exactly where Remy would be tonight. At the pool, as he suspected. Matt told his mom he would be home soon and that he was just going out to get a bit of practice in. He jogged the few minutes to the train station and in no time he was on his way to the Lyrical Muse campus. As he sat back and waited for his stop, he wondered if he was really going to follow through with his plan. He had to do this, not for himself, but for Raven. She needed this. This was about her now, and it would give her what she needed—not what he thought she wanted. That's how he had failed her before; he wouldn't fail a second time. This wasn't about what he wanted any longer.
As his stop approached, he mentally prepared himself for what needed to be done. There was no going back now. He exited the train and made the short walk to campus. He was glad there were no cameras and that the side door was always unlocked. It's how a lot of the kids came in to do late night practice sessions uninterrupted. It was perfect for him to slip in and out unnoticed. If anyone else was here they would be so wrapped up in their own worlds to know someone else had come and gone.
Matt made his way to the pool and peeked his head inside. He looked around to see if anyone else was lingering in the shadows while Remy practiced. He didn't see anyone. Good, he didn't need any witnesses.
Matthew made his way to the edge of the pool and squatted down so that when Remy looked up from his latest lap he would see his face. He didn't have to wait long to be noticed.
"Holy shit, Matt! You scared the hell outta me. What the fuck are you doing here, man?" Remy asked, eyebrows drawn down and lips pulled up.
"I need to say a few words to you and then I need to take you to Raven," Matt said calmly.
"Take me to Raven? Are you insane? She's been dead for over a year. I was at her funeral and so were you."
"Doesn't negate the fact that I need to take you to her now."
"I'm not going to no cemetery tonight. Leave me alone, I'm busy."
"What I have to say won't take long."
"Fine, asshole. Say what you need to say and get the fuck outta here."
"Are you planning on trying to claim Evan as your own?"
"Who the fuck is Evan?"
"You know, Evan. Your fucking son! The one you tried to get Raven to abort, remember?!"
Matt watched as all the blood drained out of Remy's face. Good, the dickhead was listening finally.
"Look, I can't raise a kid right now. Stacey and I have been doing really good and we don't need Raven's shit messing up what we got."
"Raven's shit? Don't you mean your shit? I still don't understand why you slept with her that last time. You had already damaged her beyond repair. Why did you even do it?"
"I was drunk, okay! She tricked me."
Matt drew in a deep breath for clarity. His resolve was slipping. The time for talk was over. He didn't need the answers to his questions anyway. They would only further serve to piss him the fuck off.
"I need to take you to Raven. Now."
"I told your fucking stupid ass I'm not going to no cemetery. Raven isn't a part of my life now."
"She needs you, so she's going to get you."
With those final words and a look of utter hatred on Remy's face, Matt leaned in closer to the edge of the pool, placed both his hands on Remy's shoulders, and pushed him under the water. He held a shocked and struggling Remy down and he didn't let up. He had stretched his legs behind him to get more leverage and to not fall in himself. Remy thrashed and jerked with all his might to break Matt’s hold, but Matt wouldn't let up. He had a promise to keep. He would have gone himself but he'd told Raven he wouldn't fail Evan. Someone had to be here to take care of Evan, and someone had to be there to take care of Raven. After several minutes of fighting, Remy finally gave up. Matt held him down a few minutes more to ensure he wasn't just holding his breath a really long time. When he was satisfied, he let him go.
He watched as Remy's now lifeless body sank to the bottom of the pool, then looked around to see if anyone had come in. When he was satisfied that no one had, he exited the building and hiked back to the train station so he could go home to his son. He had done it. He'd given Raven what she needed and he would take care of the gift she had left him until his last breath.
Other Works By This Author
Dark Indiscretions Series
Dark Indiscretions Book .5 - Now Available
Dark Indiscretions Book 1 - Now Available
Dark Indiscretions: Monster Unleashed Book 2 - Now Available
Dark Indiscretions: Seer Destined Book 3 - Coming Soon
Collection of Poems
Inside The Heart Of My Soul - Now Available
Days To Come - Now Available
Stand Alone
Rumspringa (Dark Indiscretions 3.5) - Coming Soon
And So She Waited - Now Available
About The Author
Shakuita Johnson is a 29-year-old Psychology major and the author of The Dark Indiscretions Series. When she isn’t going to school or working, she is doing what she loves most. Writing. She started writing in middle school. Starting with poetry. Then short stories in a creative writing course her senior year. Her love for paranormal and supernatural started with R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps books and TV show, Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles, and Christopher Pike books. She is an avid reader with over 100 books on her bookshelf and 1000 plus on her iPad. She is the author of the Dark Indiscretions Series, with the first three books out now. Visit her online and read her poems and one attempt at songwriting on her blog at http://www.dark-indiscretions.com. You can also find her Facebook Author Page at www.facebook.com/shakuitajohnson. Follow her on Twitter @sljay1184. To receive up to date info, excerpts, and goodies please sign up for my newsletter http://www.eepurl.com/MubU9.
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