Shit.
Heart beginning to hammer, Nicco slid out of bed, grabbed his jeans from where they’d landed on the floor the night before, and yanked them on. He’d barely made it through the bedroom door when his mother put her suitcase down and smiled at him. Months ago, a surprise visit like this would have been welcome; Nicco loved his mother and saw too little of her. But now, with Rider asleep in Nicco’s bed only feet away, the sight of her was enough to freeze his blood.
“Ma?” He stepped back and closed the bedroom door before quickly walking forward and accepting his mother’s hug. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
Abby Santori chuckled. “Everything’s fine. If you listened to your messages, you would have known I was coming. You remember my good friend Beulah who moved here last year? Her husband passed away a few days ago. I came for the funeral.” Abby eased back and sent a loaded look toward the closed door. “Someone stay over?” A small smile played about her lips. “I didn’t know you had a new girlfriend.”
“Ma.” Nicco grabbed her suitcase and hustled her toward the guest bedroom, mind racing to find a way to get Rider out without her seeing. “Sorry to hear about Beulah’s husband. I just came off a big case and immediately fell into bed. Didn’t even look to see if I had any messages.”
“You don’t have to hide it, honey. You’re a grown man, and I’m glad you have someone.”
Little did she know. Nicco and Rider hadn’t been able to spend any time together in the past five weeks, what with Nicco’s case and Rider’s new responsibilities as lieutenant. Nicco had never been so eager to get into somebody’s pants in his life. Not a woman’s, and certainly not a man’s; Rider was the only man Nicco ever had slept with. Hell, he was the only man Nicco’d ever been attracted to.
Nicco placed his mother’s suitcase on the guest bed, glad he’d done a cursory dusting on his last evening off. At least the furniture wasn’t coated anymore. “Sorry the place is such a mess.”
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll soon set it to rights.” Abby placed her purse atop the bureau and gave her son another hug. “That’s what mothers are for,” she said when he started to protest.
“You want me to make some coffee?” Nicco hoped to stick his head in his bedroom and warn Rider not to come out.
His mother laughed. “It’s two o’clock in the afternoon.” She tried to tame his mess of curls with her fingers. “You really must have been exhausted last night. How did you even manage to—”
“Ma,” Nicco said, warning her not to go there. He wondered if he could get his mother out of the apartment somehow so Rider could leave.
“Why don’t I throw some clothes on, and I’ll take you out to lunch?”
“I’ve eaten, dear, but thank you. Visitation is at seven, so I’ll probably grab a bite just before.”
Nicco realized his mother must have taken a cab from the airport. “I’m really sorry, Ma. I should’ve picked you up. Let me at least reimburse you for cab fare.”
“Don’t be silly, Nicco.” She sat down on the bed and slipped off her shoes. “I’m not so old I can’t take care of myself. I flew all the way here, didn’t I?”
“How come Pop didn’t come with you?” Nicco inwardly cringed at the thought of his father showing up.
“He’s hurt his back.” Abby reclined on the bed. “I’m a little tired. Couldn’t sleep at all on the plane. Maybe I’ll take a nap, and we can have dinner together afterward, if you’re free. And this will give you time to say goodbye to your girl.”
Boneless relief washed over Nicco. “Yeah, I’m off today. Dinner sounds good. I’ll wake you in a couple’a hours.” He backed toward the door. This was really going to be okay. They’d dodged the bullet.
The distinct sound of his bedroom door opening drained all the blood from Nicco’s face.
“Oh, it sounds like your girl’s awake.” Abby sat up again. “You can introduce me.”
Holy hell. Nicco opened his mouth, ready to say anything to keep his mother in the bedroom while he got Rider out, but before he could make a sound, a voice from behind him sent Nicco’s heart into his throat. He froze.
His mother looked confused. “Rider?”
Nicco opened his eyes and turned. At least Rider had put on his underwear.
Shock quickly turned to horror just before a pleasant mask fell over Rider’s features. “Abby, hello. I didn’t know Nicco was expecting you.”
God, Rider was a good actor. How could he pull this casual façade out of his ass when all Nicco could do was stand there shaking?
Before Abby could answer, Rider backed up a step. “I’ll just…put some pants on.” He disappeared around the corner, and Nicco was again left struggling to think of something to say to his mother.
“I didn’t know…that is…” Abby seemed as at a loss for words as her son.
“Rider stayed over last night,” Nicco said lamely.
Abby swung her legs over the bed and stood.
Think, Santori, think.
But there was absolutely nothing Nicco could come up with that wouldn’t sound like he was trying to cover up something or erase the fact that he’d obviously just rolled out of bed when Abby had walked into the apartment. Nicco suddenly wished a woman would somehow materialize to make it look like they’d had a three-some. As embarrassing as that would be, it would be better than the truth. He considered loudly asking Rider if he’d seen—insert fictitious female name—out of the apartment, but by his mother’s expression, the truth was written all over Nicco’s face.
Nicco heard Rider moving around in the kitchen and had to give him props for not escaping out the front door while he could. Abby resolutely walked past her son, and he followed, feeling like he was ten years old again and had done something to disappoint her.
“Coffee?” Rider asked, looking up from preparing the pot.
“As I told Nicco, it’s too late in the day.” Nicco’s heart fell at his mother’s formal tone. Abby had always called Rider her third son, but now she was talking to him as though he were a stranger. Or worse, the enemy. Knowing Rider better than anyone, Nicco caught the look of hurt that passed over his face before it disappeared behind the mask again.
Rider flipped on the switch to the coffee maker. “I need some.” He looked at Nicco. “You probably do, too.”
Nicco nodded. He sighed and ran his hand over his face, wishing he could add some bourbon to his.
“Do you have something to tell me?” Abby asked Nicco, and the look of confused betrayal on her face hit him hard.
Nicco’s eyes went to Rider’s, and what he saw there fortified him, while at the same time reminded him that Nicco wasn’t the only one with something at stake. Abby was the closest thing Rider had to a mother. Nicco pulled out a chair and sat down.
“Ma, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”
His mother closed her eyes for a moment as though she’d been hoping he was going to deny everything. Nicco took her hand where it rested on top of the table. It was soft—almost frail, and the cold realization that she was getting old hit Nicco like a punch to the gut.
“Ma. Please look at me.” He squeezed her fingers until she raised her eyes to his.
The sound and aroma of percolating coffee were homey and comfortable accompaniments to a moment that was extremely awkward at the least. Nicco had known he’d have to do this someday, but he’d hoped to put it off a few years. His pop finding out would be worse, but this was pretty fucking bad.
When Nicco didn’t say anything right away, Abby cleared her throat and spoke. “What your brother said was true, then.”
Caught off guard, Nicco leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, a protective gesture that Rider had called him out on in the past. “What did Ben say?”
“That your relationship with Rider isn’t normal.”
That brought Nicco’s hackles up. His little brother was still jockeying for position as their mother’s favorite. “He’s been
saying that for years, because he’s a jealous little shit who’s always getting into trouble.”
The fact that Abby ignored the curse word was a testament to her emotional state. “He’s right in this case, isn’t he?”
Nicco had never seen Ben’s resemblance to their mother until that moment when his brother’s eyes stared back accusingly at him from her face.
“Rider’s been my partner and best friend for years, and now he’s…more.”
Abby flinched. “How could this be true?”
Nicco noticed she avoided looking at Rider, which was fucking unfair.
She shook her head. “You were so popular with the girls. You had so many dates. Were you hiding this all along? That you’re…queer?” It was obvious she could barely say the word. Nicco wasn’t very fond of it himself; he’d barely begun to come to terms with what he had with Rider and what it might mean about him.
“No, Ma. I never…I mean…” Fuck this was hard. How could he explain it? “I’ve never wanted to be with a man. Rider’s just different. I’d love him no matter what.” When Rider’s hand landed softly on Nicco’s shoulder, Nicco’s galloping heart slowed to a manageable trot.
Abby finally looked at Rider. “I thought you were like a brother to Nicco. I never imagined…” she left off, seemingly unable to continue.
“I love your son, Abby,” Rider said. His voice had always captivated Nicco. How could a hard, seasoned cop have a voice so soft and smooth? “I always have, and I would never do anything to hurt him. Never.”
“I thought that was true, but look what you’re doing to him now.” Abby’s tone turned angry. She was a mother defending her cub, but Nicco was too old for that shit and wasn’t about to let his mother turn this into Rider’s fault.
“He’s not doing anything to me, Ma. I wanted this. I was the one who initiated it.”
Abby’s eyes widened. “That doesn’t make sense! You’ve never been attracted to men, and you’re telling me that all of a sudden you wanted to hop into bed with Rider? He just admitted to having always had feelings for you! It’s obvious he’s been working on you a long time.”
“Maybe I should give you two some privacy.” Rider leaned down and pressed a kiss to Nicco’s temple, an act that, under the circumstances, filled Nicco with conflicting feelings. On the one hand, he was impressed and touched that Rider would do it in front of Abby. On the other hand, this was the first time Nicco’s mother had seen him with a man, and it was kind of embarrassing.
Rider politely told Abby goodbye, gave Nicco a soft look, and quietly left. Rider was a prince among men. There was nobody in the world who Nicco respected more.
Nicco hadn’t realized he’d been staring after Rider until his mother spoke.
“My God. You’re in love with him.”
Nicco met her tear-filled eyes. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Ma.” He swallowed. “Please don’t cry.”
“Oh, baby. This is a hard road you’re choosing, one that never crossed my mind for you. Benny, maybe. He’s just so—everywhere at once. Nothing he does surprises me. But you’ve always been rock solid, following in your father’s footsteps and becoming a cop, moving out here to LA on your own.” She pulled a napkin from the holder on the table and wiped her eyes. “I was so happy that you had such a good partner and friend to be there for you with your family so far away.”
“Ma, you can’t put the blame on Rider for this. There’s always been an attraction there; I just didn’t realize it until—until I saw him with another guy.” No way was Nicco going to reveal the other guy had been Ben’s friend Alex. The less said about the incident, the better, as far as Nicco was concerned. Just thinking about seeing that surfer-boy with his mouth and hands all over Rider sent Nicco’s blood pressure through the roof.
“You didn’t know Rider was gay?”
“Bi. And no, I didn’t know.” Nicco’s cheeks burned. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with his mother. He wasn’t sure he could have done it for anyone but Rider. “Look, the point is, I was consumed with jealousy. I realized I couldn’t stand the thought of any guy touching him but me, and that brought me to the realization that I wanted more with him. I’m sorry if that hurts you, Ma, but it is what it is, and I’m past the point of dissecting it.”
“Were you ever going to tell us?”
Nicco worked his bottom lip with his teeth. “I don’t know.” He suddenly wondered if his brother suspected and, by dropping hints to their mother, might even be trying in his fucked up way to help Nicco come out. “Now that you know, I’ll tell Ben. But Pop will lose his shit, and I’m not the one living in the house dealing with it; you are.”
Abby sighed. “I have to agree it might be best to keep this from your father.” She shook her head, and they sat for a few moments in silence, each busy with their own thoughts. “I guess I might as well come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be a grandmother,” Abby finally said. “Ben’s broken up with Tara, and she was the nicest girl he’s ever brought home. And you’re—” She waved her hand feebly.
“Why did he break up with Tara?” Nicco was more than willing to throw Ben under the bus if it would take the spotlight off himself.
“I don’t know. I suspect he did it before she could. You know how Benny is. He’d been straying.”
“God.” Nicco rolled his eyes. “When’s he ever gonna grow up?”
“Maybe never, which is why I say I’ll just have to let the idea of grandchildren go.”
Was that her biggest beef? “Well, who knows, Ma? Maybe Rider and I will get hitched and adopt. Or even get a surrogate to carry a kid for us. Continue the awesome Santori line.” Although Rider was the last of the Davies line, and Nicco would really like to see a little Rider toddling around. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought.
“Really?” Abby stared at her son incredulously.
“Sure. It’s not outta the realm of possibility.” He watched his mother go very still, her face revealing she’d never considered this. Of course, she’d never had to consider it, but it was almost frightening how fast she seemed to be taking to the idea.
Nicco quickly added, “But don’t go buying baby clothes yet.”
“Of course not. The wedding comes before anything else. I’m sure gay weddings are becoming the norm in LA.” Her eyes took on a faraway look. “You know, Jessica Renfro’s son is gay, and he married a very nice lawyer from Detroit. I can imagine you and Rider both in white. Maybe a beach wedding?”
“Ma!” Nicco suddenly realized who his brother had gotten his flightiness from. His mother had gone from disgusted disappointment to giddy excitement in the span of minutes.
Abby gave her son an admonishing look. “Oh, stop worrying. A little forethought never hurt anyone.” She sighed. “This was a shock, Niccy. I’m not homophobic, but it really came out of nowhere, in spite of your brother’s hints.” She got up from the table. “I’m going to lie down and try to wrap my head around it all. Why don’t you ask Rider to have dinner with us?”
“Okay, I will, Ma.” Nicco couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face. Had it really only taken the hope of marriage and grandchildren to appease her? Had she been afraid that this was only a passing thing, or had she really never considered gay men could have a family? He had to admit the thought of actually settling down both intrigued him and made him a little nervous. But his mother couldn’t expect anything like that to happen any time soon, considering they weren’t planning on telling his father. If it helped her to reconcile to him and Rider being together, let her plot the perfect wedding all she wanted.
Nicco got up and poured a cup of coffee, then picked up his cell and called Rider. No answer. It hurt Nicco’s heart remembering his lover’s face when Abby had turned cold. He scribbled out a note to his mother, brushed his teeth, pulled on a clean shirt, and left for Rider’s.
As he turned onto Rider’s street, Nicco considered that, as work had always been his lover’s distr
action of choice, Rider may have headed for the precinct rather than home. Nicco hoped not, because he really wanted to see his…boyfriend. Yeah, because that’s what they were. Boyfriends.
Fortunately, Rider’s car was parked in front of his building.
Nicco used his key to let himself in. He could hear the shower running.
“Ry?” Nicco said loudly. The last thing he wanted to do was get shot for surprising a cop.
“Nic?” Rider called over the running water, surprise in his voice.
Nicco walked into the steamy bathroom that smelled of soap. He could see Rider’s silhouette behind the curtain, tall, lean, and muscular.
“In the flesh.” On impulse, Nicco stripped off his clothes and stepped under the spray behind Rider.
Rider turned, hands coming up to stroke Nicco’s chest. “That was fast. Did you and your mother get into a fight?”
“Nope.” Hungry for the warm wetness of Rider’s kiss, Nicco leaned in, mouth barely touching Rider’s lips before pushing in his tongue. Nicco moved his hands down to squeeze his lover’s ass and then smacked it playfully.
“Mm.” Rider licked Nicco’s bottom lip before pulling back. “Tell me what happened.”
“She settled down after I assured her that marriage and babies weren’t out of the question.”
Rider raised an eyebrow. “Wow. That’s really…unexpected.”
“What, you don’t wanna make an honest man outta me?” Nicco pushed his groin up against Rider’s, enjoying the way the other man’s eyes went dark in reaction.
“I didn’t say that.” Rider’s fingers blazed a tingling trail down Nicco’s back. “I just didn’t expect you to be thinking about it.”
“You still questioning how I feel?” Nicco knew he’d given Rider plenty of reason to doubt at the beginning, but he’d hoped he’d redeemed himself somewhat in the past few months.
Love Is Proud Page 21
