Lukas Raven, that was his name. It felt very odd to be himself. He’d never had an identity. There was never a time that he could recall when he wasn’t adlibbing his life. He was always learning on the fly from a script that he’d never seen before the movie actually started shooting.
Feeling like a fraud was something he couldn’t shake, even now, because even though he had a name, the memories of his childhood weren’t complete. He remembered bits and pieces, going backwards from the night his family was murdered. He was recalling things in reverse. When he first woke up as himself, he recalled nothing. But after the diner, everything from that night flooded back in a deluge.
Samantha was his baby sister, a full year younger, but very bright and pretty. He recalled the face she used to make when she laughed at his silly jokes. She would stick her front teeth over her bottom lip and tilt her head side-to-side. Sam would be a beautiful woman now.
He always thought that knowing who he was would free him of the burden of feeling like a fraud. But now it was even worse. Now he missed everything that might have been. Lukas lived a life, several of them, as other people. But he never enjoyed the families. There was never a moment when he felt like he belonged.
“Are you okay?” Candice asked.
Lukas snapped out of his reverie. “Yeah. I’m just thinking.”
She touched his hand. “What’re you thinking about?”
He tilted his head back into the couch and looked to the ceiling. “Everything. My sister, my parents, what I remember about that night.”
“What do you remember, besides that night?”
“Bits and pieces, random moments in time, but I’m having a hard time knowing what’s real. I mean, I know it’s real, but it’s hard to accept that it’s my life. I’ve been a fraud for so long that I don’t know where to start being me.”
“How can I help?”
He shrugged. “I have some visions in my head. I don’t remember them happening. I just remember them. Does that make any sense?”
“Sure, that happens to everyone. Memory is a funny thing. My mother once told me that people create their own reality, their own past.” She took a sip of beer and placed the bottle on the box where a coffee table used to be. “Didn’t you ever play that game, the one where you stand in a line and one person whispers a secret to the next?”
“Yeah, in grade school. I remember it.” That memory unleashed a few others. And so it became apparent how it was going to work.
“Well, that game is a microcosm of life. Our memories, even our real ones, are all clouded. You’ve been other people, but things that happened to you still happened to you. And what happened to you before, when you were yourself, that was still you.”
“I guess that’s where I’m having the problem. I miss what could’ve been. I could’ve lived my life, been anything I wanted to, instead of trying to be everyone else. I wonder what I could’ve been, what my sister might’ve been, our family…”
“I’m sure that’s hard. And not to take away from what you’ve been through, you were robbed of your life. You had no chance. But everyone has those feelings. I wonder what would have been if my brother hadn’t died. I yelled at him, I told him to get lost, to get out of my room.” Her eyes grew with wetness. “He asked me where he should go, and I said I didn’t care, I said he should go play in traffic for all I cared. He got onto his bike, and pedaled into traffic.”
Candice broke down. She leaned over, her elbows on her knees, and he placed his hand on her back. He wanted to comfort her, but the truth was he wasn’t good at this stuff. Living as a fraud, he’d had relationships, but they were false. He never cared if he did the wrong thing because he knew it wasn’t going to last. Eventually he would move on to the next life. He was never in a life more than a couple years at a time before he was pulled away.
“Candice, you know it’s not your fault. You were just a kid.”
She sat upright, wiped away her tears. “I know. But my father, I don’t think he ever forgave me, so it was hard to forgive myself.”
“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that sometimes what will be will be! I’m not saying we have no control, because maybe we do. But I think there are some predestined threads woven into the complex tapestry of our lives. Maybe we control the color and the texture, but not so much the direction or path.”
Candice shook her head. “I don’t know. I like to think we’re the ultimate masters of our destiny. I think we forge our own futures by our actions.”
“Maybe so. But you have to admit, no matter how great our intentions, we are all compelled to make bad choices from time-to-time. We all wish for a do-over now and again. As we grow older, we definitely make fewer mistakes, maybe because we know there’s less time to fix our screw ups.” Lukas leaned over and kissed Candice on the head, catching her by surprise. “What happened to your brother — you didn’t control that. There may’ve been nothing you could’ve said, or done, to change that moment in time. You told him to get lost, but if you had told him you loved him, he might’ve gotten on that bike and rode away, not in anger, but in a blissful state of happiness. But he still might have ended up in a bad situation.”
She smiled. “I know…I’ve run every possible scenario through my head. He was going to get on that bike no matter what. He was going to his friend’s house. But I still should’ve been nicer to him.”
“He was a kid. He probably forgot about your words thirty seconds after he left the house.”
She nodded. “You have quite the way with words, Lukas Raven.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. I’ve spent a lot of time in my own head instead of in the moment. In general, after I learned the basics about whoever I’d become, I would kind of tune out their lives and try to understand what was happening to me.”
“That could be expected.”
“It was selfish.”
“Maybe so. But I can’t imagine living the way you did.” She sat up and reached across Lukas to the end table to pick up her tablet.
“What’re you doing?”
“I’m going to research you, Lukas Raven.”
She moved close to him, holding the tablet so he could see the screen. Immediately they found some archived stories on the murders.
Candice scrolled through the story on the screen, reading pieces of the text aloud. “It is believed that the only survivor of the murders, Lukas Raven, was placed at Iron Stone Mountain mental facility after being medically cleared…a debilitating condition, due to severe post-traumatic stress, has left Lukas in an unresponsive state…an investment firm called RFM Investments purchased Iron Stone Mountain.”
“Angus.”
“Where did he get his money?”
“I don’t know.”
Candice continued reading excerpts. “It says the patients were moved to other facilities around the country. It is believed Lukas Raven was placed at Sunnyvale Heights in Portland, Maine.”
“Maybe we should call them in the morning.”
Candice touched his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you in right away.”
“It’s okay.”
“It was weird though, it was like I knew who you were, but you weren’t who you were supposed to be.”
Lukas smiled uneasily. “Do I still look the same to you?”
She shook her head. “No, you look better.” She leaned over and kissed him softly, letting her lips linger for a few seconds.
After she pulled away, he leaned back and she placed her head on his chest. Lukas closed his eyes and sleep came quickly.
They stepped off the bus and the cold air hit them in the face. Lukas took a breath and turned his face from the wind. The streets of Patterson, New Jersey were cool and dry under the late afternoon sun.
The call to the
hospital in Portland confirmed what Lukas suspected, they’d never heard of him. But their hours of research led them here.
Lukas held the smoked glass door open for Candice, and they stepped inside the plush office. The noise from the wind slipped away as the door shut.
“Can I help you?” the plump, attractive, bleached-blonde receptionist asked.
Candice smiled back. “Yes, we’re here to see Parker McMillen.”
“Miss Laguna?”
“Yes.”
“He’s the second door on the right. You can go right in.”
Lukas liked the office, the smell of flowers tickled his nose as they entered and sat in large pinned-leather chairs.
A distinguished gray-haired man entered the room wearing a black suit and silver tie with tiny pigs walking in all directions. “Hi, Candice, how’s your mother?”
“She’s good.”
“She said you have some legal questions?”
“My friend here, Lukas, he’s lost all his identification. What’s the best way to go about getting him back on the map?”
McMillen nodded. “What do you have?”
Lukas shook his head slowly. “Nothing.”
“No birth certificate? Nothing?”
He shrugged. “Nothing.”
“What hospital were you born at?”
“I don’t know.”
Candice put her hands together and used them as a pointer. “He has some memory issues, amnesia.”
Parker looked Lukas over, nodded. “Okay, well it will take some legal maneuvering, but I think I can help. First off, what’s the full name we need to reclaim?”
“Lukas Christopher Raven.”
Parker furled his brow, looking hard at Lukas. “That’s not a very common name. You didn’t happen to live in Hackettstown at some point, did you?” Parker said with a smile.
“Yes,” Lukas said. “I did. I think I may have been born there.”
Parker looked to Candice. “Is this a joke? Because I don’t find it funny. I know your mother is a friend of mine, Candice, but I don’t appreciate people wasting my time.”
Candice turned her palms up and shrugged. “Parker, I don’t understand. This isn’t a joke. I’m trying to help my friend.”
Parker stood up and buttoned the front of his pinstriped navy suit. “Well, your friend is pulling your leg. I know Lukas Raven, he’s been a client of mine for several years, and you, sir, are not him.” He put his hand on the receiver of his desk phone. “In fact, I might just call the police and tell them what you’re up to. Do you think I’m a dolt?”
Lukas stood up. “Sir, I assure you, I’m not here to waste your time. I am Lukas Raven.”
“Nice try,” Parker said. “I’m going to give you twenty seconds to get out of my office. That’s twenty seconds to rethink your scam and drop this ruse.”
“Please, sir.” Lukas moved in front of him. “Why do you think I’m lying?”
Parker looked at Candice. “Your friend is a persistent con man, Candice. I’m sure your mother would be very disappointed to know you’re associating with such a character.”
Candice moved towards him. “Parker, I assure you. Whatever scam you think we’re trying to—”
Parker cut her off. “We? You’re going to admit complicity in this? I assure you, this is not something Christine Laguna would ever do. Your mother is one of the best people I know. She would be devastated. And what I know of you doesn’t fit into character with this kind of game.”
Lukas raised his hands, holding them up in we-come-in-peace fashion. “Mr. McMillen, hear me out.”
The lawyer took a deep breath. “Fine, you have two minutes and only because of her.”
“I wish I could explain why I don’t remember my life. But I have lived. I know how the world works, and I know you think you know the real Lukas Raven, but you don’t.”
Parker laughed. “You are convincing, a smooth talker…you sure you’re not a lawyer?”
“Can I ask how you think you know Lukas Raven?”
“I represented him. When he got out of the coma, he had to lay claim to his family assets, as if you didn’t know.” He shook his head. “I told Lukas we should have made this public to discourage unsavory types like you. But he insisted on keeping everything quiet. He didn’t want anyone to know he came out of the coma. I didn’t think it would take this long for some worm to squirm out of the dirt.”
Lukas suddenly had a clear picture of everything. Angus has planned this all along, he planned the murders, knew he would go to jail. He turned to Candice. “He planned it all.”
“How could he? There’s no way he could have.”
Lukas continued. “It was premeditated. He killed everyone to get the money, he knew he’d go to jail as a juvenile and be out in time to claim the money.”
“No way.”
“I don’t know how, but this somehow worked out for him. Maybe he didn’t plan every aspect, but somehow it fell into place.”
“Oh God.” Candice put her hand over her mouth. “RFM Investments…TRK Consulting. RFM, Raven Family Murderer, TRK, The Raven Killer. Has be been taunting everyone in plain sight?”
Lukas felt his head swoon. Nausea churned in his gut. A feeling of faintness came over him. Finally, he just flopped into the chair. His breath slowly returned. “My God, he planned this, at twelve years old, somehow he planned this.”
“He must have gotten your birth certificate.”
“From the house. When I was at the house, there were files and papers all over the place. He must have gone back when he got out.”
“This is unbelievable, how could he get away with this?”
Parker wandered out from behind his desk, milling about the office.
Candice moved closer to him. “Parker, you have to believe us. That man you know isn’t Lukas. His name is Angus Archibald. And he’s a killer. It was Lukas here who was in the coma, in a matter of speaking.”
Parker shook his head. “Impossible.”
Candice assured him, “No, not impossible. Think about it. He had all the papers. Would anyone think to call Iron Stone and see if he suddenly came out of a comatose state? He asked you to keep it quiet for a reason, because someone at the hospital would have put it together. And then, what did he do? He bought the hospital — the last stone that could cast doubt on his story.”
Parker’s face scrunched. “He said he wanted to buy the place because it was smart business.”
“It was, smart for his business.”
Parker looked at Lukas. “We’re going to the police, right now.”
Chapter 37
Lukas pushed his ink-covered thumb onto the page. There was some trepidation, because what if he was wrong? He knew in his soul, he was Lukas Raven. But with all the impossibility he had seen, he wondered if perhaps knowing wasn’t enough. If pictures and memories were manipulated for his benefit, perhaps that worm could turn the other way, too.
He didn’t know how it worked. Why he’d suddenly woken up. The magical forces that caused him to jump from body-to-body, they were strange, and he could only guess as to their origin and meaning. But he knew, sure as the sun would set, that he had finally become who he was supposed to be.
Detective Blake Pillar nodded. “That’s quite the story. I don’t see a lot of amnesia stories.”
Lukas shrugged. “I wish I didn’t have one.”
Candice sipped coffee from a small paper cup. “How did this happen? I mean, how did Angus fool everyone?”
Pillar shrugged.
Parker offered, “No one had seen you in over ten years, and last time they did, you were a fourteen year old kid. When a man walks into an office with all the paper identification, no one thinks to check his fingerprints. I’m st
ill skeptical. Quite frankly, I’ll wait to see if your prints match the ones on file.”
A thin black woman in a blue windbreaker walked into the room. She tossed a piece of paper on the table. “We got an immediate match. He’s Lukas Raven.”
Lukas felt a shudder of relief jolt his body. He almost felt like laughing and them running around screaming with his hands in the air. He wanted to believe it but it still felt so far away. Now he could touch it, live it.
Candice hugged him. “Congratulations, you’re a real person again, officially.”
Parker walked up to Lukas, holding out a hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t believe you.”
Lukas shook his hand. “Thank you. I would’ve expected nothing less.”
Detective Pillar stood. “Mr. Raven, do you have any idea what happened since you were removed from Iron Stone?”
Lukas shrugged. “I wish I did. But the fact that I was Lukas Raven only came back to me yesterday.”
Pillar said, “And you two are sure that the man who stole your identity is the same man that killed your family? The same man who orchestrated the twisted game over at Iron Stone? You’d testify to that?”
Lukas nodded. “I would.”
Candice said, “We would. And after seeing a picture of Angus Archibald, I know it was him. Call Detective Webb at the state police in Springfield. He’ll fill you in on some things.”
The detective nodded. “This Angus seems to have ruined a lot of lives.”
Parker urged, Pillar, “You have to put a freeze on all the accounts linked to Lukas Raven, RFM Investments, and TRK Consulting.”
Pillar nodded. “Right away, and I’m putting out an APB on Angus Archibald.”
“Don’t forget Rena.”
Pillar pointed to a dry-erase board in the far corner of the squad room. “They lifted prints from Iron Stone that belonged to a Rena Lang. She’s got a rap sheet for fraud, assault, and theft. We’re looking for her, too.”
The Game Page 17
